A/N: I know this fic is a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but that's because I like to add to the humour of the whole thing by not proof reading it. This fic in my opinion is an attack on fics that are written about fags that can't joke a little and have to proof read everything 700 times even though their ideas are super lame. I haven't come across many like that but… Well Anon puts it best I think, a war between what's right and what's funny… although I don't think this fic is that funny anyways.
Reverend Lovejoy.
The votes are in… oh my gosh my heart is beating like Bart's hand.
"The winner of the stupid political election is…. The gay liberal fags."
"YES! YES! YES!" I won, I fucking won!!
"Hey Jessica, daddy won… now you don't need my penis inside of you." I say proudly that I got to bang that thing.
"Daddy, I've realised something… if you are truly a liberal then you will allow Mr Burn's laws to stay in place, their should be limits sure but being a liberal means you accept freedom beyond that of anything else. You should allow this town to live how they want to, whether they are wrong or right for that is a true democratic society."
"Jessica… stop watching south park." I say firmly as the democrat supporters cheer and laugh.
"Ok, everyone get pissed and have fun doing adultery, you 2 year olds got enough crack there?" I ask happily walking through the crowd of people.
"Dad… what are you doing? You have become what you hated…. Well at least what you hated as soon as you become a candidate."
"I know, but I decided to get really, really stoned in case if I lost." I didn't want to be sad if I lost, I wanted to be stoned.
"This is a war on freedom to be stupid." Bart says, obviously pissed.
"Hey, I don't know what we are so whiney about Jessica, 5 minutes ago you ever a speech about liberals and now your telling me I'm what I hate." Jessica thought about it for a second.
"Bart, I'm assigning you as foreign minister."
"That's cool, I'm sure I can make peace with Cuba." Bart says with a smirk before passing out.
"Jessica, you know I love you…. Right?"
"Dad, anyone dad that has enough love for his daughter to fuck her in the way you do…" I had to cut her off.
"Well I want you to be in charge of defence."
"We have an army?"
"Yeah, our army consists of Homer and Satan's little helper." I say with a smirk. I mean it wasn't much but if someone was to invade us we would throw Homer at the enemies and run for our lives.
"Jessica, you realised when you were two I inserted my penis inside of you for the first time, you were so cute clinging onto it. It squirted you in the face and you laughed, good times… that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Burns…."
"So you going to change the laws?"
"Some I have to, I can't stand to see 2 yrs selling crack and pimping. It's not right you now, some rules need to be changed and whether the town will like the change doesn't matter because I have the power. And if you got a problem with that I'm going to cut off your head and shove it so far up your ass that you will shit brains and flesh."
"Wow, that's possibly the longest thing you have said in a while."
"I know, I literally got a monkey on my ass." I pat it off and feed it my pet gerbil. I kill it, cook it and feed it to my friends of the liberal party. It was time for a celebration and I'll be damned if I don't celebrate destroying the right wing fuck heads. Right wing broken, plane crashes cause 911… because the right wing is broken like I stated before.
I walk home to see my darling Helen in a sexy pig costume.
"I have a new job," She said telling me all about her job for KFC where she will pose as a pig. Wouldn't it make more sense to have her dress up as a chicken?
"Well I'm pissed, my dick is erect and Jessica is out…" I jump on top of her and start thrusting. I completely miss her vagina and am too pissed to realise that I'm banging the T.V.
"Whoops, oh well… I was going to buy a plasma screen anyways." I continue fucking the T.V.
"You know what time friends will be on? Rachel and Monica are so fucking hot that I would fuck them… well in some episodes, Courtney Cox's you are so hot… on that show… I always wondered if her name was supposed to be Courtney's cocks." Helen looked at me surprised.
"You have been drinking honey?"
"I said I was pissed…"
"Oh I thought you were angry."