"Welcome back folks!" shouts Gary Goomba. "It appears that the Olympics have been extended for apparent reason. Sorry if I sound frustrated, its just that I was going to home to my girlfriend until I got called back in here. So, Reportertron, what were you going to do until you were sent back?"
"I was going to turned into scrap metal as my purpose was fulfilled until now" stated E-08 Reportertron.
"Whatever. Anyways, we're here at… uh… a bunch of weird places… and we are about to witness the dream course. What is the dream course? I have no freaking idea!"
"This course is all-or-nothing both teams. Whoever wins gets the gold. Be sure to watch this event, something like this may never happen again."
-
In the random shady corner of random shady dealings, six people stood in this location. Bowser, Wario, and Waluigi were in one side and Robotnik, Knuckles, and Shadow.
"Okay, here's the deal" Eggman bargained with the Koopa. "For this course, neither of us will attempt to cheat."
"And in return, we won't tattle on each other for cheating in every other course" finished Bowser.
The two stared at each other coldly, then put out their arms for a handshake.
"But this doesn't mean we'll go easy on you!" shouted Waluigi.
Shadow smiled "good, because I plan to kick your ass!"
"GRRR!" Knuckles growled.
"ARGH!" snarled Wario.
-
First up was canoeing, played by Peach and Amy.
Peach sang "row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a-SON OF A FISH!"
Amy Rose interrupted the princess's singing by flipping Peach's canoe over with her trusty hammer. The pink hedgehog rowed away, out to collect coins in order to win this event.
But Peach wasn't out just yet! Gliding with her magical dress of gliding and stuff, she turned her boat over and went to get revenge. Grabbing an item box floating on the water, Peach pulled out a red shell and tossed towards Amy. Noticing the shell homing right at her, Amy swatted it away with her Piko Piko Hammer and sent it back to Peach. Peach blocked it with her parasol, but the force of the shell sent her flying backwards. Luckily she flew into a couple of coins in which made Peach the winner.
"Aww" Amy whined.
-
Next was basketball, starring Yoshi and Vector.
"Wahoo!" Yoshi shouted as he fluttered in the air. He made a slam dunk on a flying hoop, gaining one point.
"Not bad" Vector commented, "but can you do this?" Carefully placing the basketball in his mouth, Vector jumped up and spat the ball through two hoops.
The dinosaur smirked. In lightning fast reflex he slurped up the basketball and spat it towards three hoops. "Yoshi!"
"Hmm… how about this?" Chomping down on a handful of bubble gum, the alligator blew a large pink bubble which swallowed the basketball whole. The bubble suddenly floated away, dropping the ball below four hoops.
Yoshi narrowed his eyes. He gobbled up the basketball once more, but this time it came out of the other end in egg form. He threw the egg, which ricochet everywhere until the eggshell broke apart. The basketball still flew and went through five hoops in the process.
"Grr, now its time to reveal my ultimate move!" Vector sang a song so horrible it made the basketball bounce itself over SEVEN hoops.
Without anymore tricks up his nonexistent sleeve, Yoshi sat down in surrender.
As the basketball event victor, Vector decided to do a little jig. "Woohoo! I won! Yeah baby, you can't beat a B-ball game against somebody born from da streets!"
From where the referees sat, Charmy shouted "Espio! Vector is dancing in PUBLIC! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!!"
"Let him have his fun" the chameleon calmed the bee down, "he earned it."
-
Next is table tennis, played by Daisy and Blaze.
The ball flew back and forth by the force of the whacking from the two females. It made the completion fiercer since every good hit increased the point score. Blaze missed the ball, in which Daisy received nine points.
"Grr" groaned a frustrated Blaze. "Now its time to fight fire with actual fire!"
She lit the ball on fire and sent it back at her opponent. Daisy swatted it back and Blaze sent it back to Daisy. The human princess dodged the ball, letting the cat earn two points.
"Hey, I almost got burnt from that!" Daisy complained.
"And what are you going to do about it?" challenged Blaze.
"I'll win this event through the use of FLOWER POWER!"
Daisy powered up her ping-pong paddle with yellow energy and slammed the ball to the other side of the table. Not to be undone, Blaze fired up her paddle and smacked the ball back. This process repeated for quite a while. Eventually Daisy had enough power to perform a special attack, which the ball exploded in pollen and flower petals and whizzed right into Blaze's torso. The violet feline fell and Daisy earned a whooping forty one points!
With her total score of fifty points, Daisy has won the table tennis event! "Yeeeee ha! Hi I'm Daisy!"
Daisy's face quickly changed from joy to fear when Blaze got back up, sore from chest pains and losing. Fearing for her life, Daisy ran away as fireballs were being thrown every few seconds.
-
Now it's long jump, with Luigi and Tails.
The tall Italian went first. He ran and jumped over ocean water, landing eight point three meters on a small island. When Tails went, he ended up jumping into the water, earning himself a foul.
On Luigi's second try went ten point five meters. Tails got two point one meters, almost falling off the island he landed on.
"Man this is tough" the fox said to himself. "I need to try something different… that's it!"
After Luigi jumped nine point eight meters for his third try, Tails had only one more attempt left.
This time not only did he jump, he flew! He quickly tried out and landed on the nearest island he could reach. He won the event by thirteen point four meters.
"Mama mia!" Luigi said in defeat. "I knew I should've used a cape-a feather!"
-
Now up was boxing, with Wario and Knuckles.
"You think you can be me in a boxing match?" said Wario. "Give up while you still can!"
"Then you won't me using my usual mittens?" said Knuckles, putting away the boxing gloves given to him.
"Ha! Go ahead, I bet they'll be useless!"
The echidna smirked. Wondering what the pest was up, it dawned on Wario that the mittens had spikes.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" screamed Knuckles as he threw a punch to the stomach. The pointy spikes easily pierced the flesh, though no blood poured out. Not only that, but Knuckles couldn't get his fist out of his opponent's tummy!
Wario suddenly laughed. "Big mistake for hitting me there. My blubbery fat is practically armor! Don't worry, I'll give you a hand…"
The overweight man gave the furry a swift uppercut to the jaw. Knuckles was sent flying to the other side of the boxing ring, landing back-first in a daze.
Toad came by and stood next to Knuckles. "Yup, he's definitely knocked out. Wario wins!"
-
Next was shooting, with Waluigi and Shadow.
"WAHAHA!!" Waluigi laughed menacingly as he used a large chain gun to shoot down all the Egg Pawns.
The Egg Pawns had no idea they got here or why they were being used as moving targets. Too bad they couldn't talk or a serious lawsuit would be made.
The lean meanie finished off the rest of the robots with a grenade. His overall score was eighty.
"Think you can do better, hedgehog?" sneered Waluigi.
Shadow said nothing. As the next batch of Egg Pawns were wondering around, the black hedgehog tossed away his rifle.
"CHAOS… SPEAR!!" screamed the ultimate life-form. A line of raw energy flew through the robots, obliterating all of them in one swift stroke. Shadow's kill count was now one hundred. And since all the rest of the Egg Pawns ran for their lives, Shadow was declared the winner.
"Dammit!" groaned Waluigi.
-
Soon it was fencing, starring Bowser and Dr. Eggman.
"Where is that egg head?" Bowser muttered impatiently. "Heh, maybe he decided to run away."
"Not quite" said Eggman as he came forward, wearing a bunch of gadgets on his body. "I just had to make a few adjusts to these gizmos."
The Koopa King decided to wait no longer and struck his fencing sword forward. Eggman blocked it with lightning fast speed.
"Fool!" chuckled Eggman. "These machines enhances the reflexes of my entire body! What did you think I made these inventions for? Accessories?"
Bowser grumbled "well, kinda…"
DING! Eggman poked Bowser with his sword. Enraged, Bowser retaliated only to have his attack parried and got struck again. Now the large Koopa watched as the scientist moved back and forth in amazing speeds. When he tried hitting Eggman when he was close Bowser only stabbed air. Then Eggman got in two more hits.
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" roared Bowser. "I'M DEALING WITH YOU USING BRUTE FORCE!"
In pure fury, Bowser attacked Eggman mercilessly. The doctor easily blocked all the blows, but he couldn't stop being pushed backwards. With one final slash, the Koopa sent Eggman off the fighting stage and into the water surrounding it. Unfortunately for Robotnik, his inventions weren't waterproof.
"Gra ha ha!" taunted Bowser. "Who needs brains when you have brawn?"
-
Now it was platforms, played by Mario and Sonic.
"Ready-a?" Mario asked his opponent.
Sonic smiled and answered "I was born ready."
And then they jumped out from the plane and dive-bombed into the blue sky.
"YAHOO!" both shouted as they flipped around in the air. Floating bricks and loops stood in both heroes' freefall, so the two went for the loops while avoiding collision with the bricks.
WHACK! One block of bricks crumbled as the plumber accidentally smashed through it.
"Hey, you okay?" asked Sonic.
"Yeah-a, that hasn't been-a the first time" groaned Mario. "Mama mia! Look-a out!"
Wondering what Mario meant, the hedgehog turned around and saw an armada of Flappers coming right in his path! He easily avoided the first one, though the other dozen were another story.
"That had to hurt" Mario said while spinning around.
"Darn, and they knocked all my rings too!" groaned Sonic. "Oh boy, looks like we have more trouble below."
Indeed he was right, as they were heading for more floating bricks and Flappers. This time, though, they were prepared. Mario pulled out a hammer and smashed anything that got in his way. Sonic used a homing dash to bounce off objects pinball-style.
Before they knew it the two splashed into the water down on the surface. The plumber quickly got the hedgehog out of the sea before drowning could occur.
Sonic was announced the winner of this event. The judges thought his homing dash performance was much more interesting than Mario's hammer time.
The blue blur pulled out his hand and said "good game."
The mustachioed man shook his competitor's hand and replied "good-a game."
-
The final event was race, and this time all the members of both teams would be playing. AT THE SAME TIME!!
"See ya later slowpokes!" taunted Sonic as he ran ahead.
"Oh no you don't!" Wario shouted. "Go get him, brother!"
Wario picked up Waluigi and threw him like a javelin. Waluigi crashed into Sonic's head and both went sprawling on the floor.
"Excellent shot!" praised Bowser.
"We still have the other one up ahead!" Peach pointed at Shadow.
Shadow said "you may have slowed down Sonic, but I'm a different matter. Chaos control!"
Time slowed down for Mario, Yoshi, and Amy. The others avoided the effects due to the unusual short range of chaos control.
"Let's hold the rest of these guys off while Shadow goes for the finish line!" said Vector, having a bite fight with Bowser.
"Daisy!" Shouted Luigi, whose butt was on fire. "You're fastest one out of all of us! Get to the finish before that one animal does!"
The yellow-clad princess nodded and took off. Tails and Eggman blocked her path, but Wario came and rammed them out of the way, giving Daisy a clear passage.
"Hmm, this is too easy" Shadow said to himself. He looked back to see how far away the rest were and was surprised to see a woman catching up. "Interesting. Too bad it'll be over by the time she reaches to me."
Daisy was thinking the same thing as well. "Ah shucks. He's too fast for me."
That's when she noticed a power-up box by the side. She went to pick it up and found just what she needed: a blue shell! She tossed it in the air and watched as it flew towards Shadow and smacked right in the back of his head. With her target dazed for the moment, she ran to catch ahead.
Meanwhile in the back of the track, Sonic got up and saw everyone else up ahead.
"Uh oh" muttered Sonic. "I better get going."
The hedgehog didn't look where he was going and ended up tripping on Waluigi. Sonic curled into a ball by accident and rolled on ahead in high speeds.
"Llllooooooookkkk oooooooouuuuuuuuutttt" Amy drawled in slow motion, still effected from chaos control.
POW! WHACK! BOOM! In a matter of seconds everyone was rolled up into one out of control sphere that was smashing up all the obstacles that were meant for the race. When the wrecking ball got to the finish it fell apart. Everybody groaned from their various injuries.
"Yoshi" the dinosaur moaned. The slow-mo effects caused by Shadow had worn off.
"Bravo! Bravo!" someone clapped. Everyone moved their aching heads to see a well-dressed man with his face covered by a large medal. The Olympic gold medal! "Such excitement! Such intensity! You athletics are the finest I have ever seen in my entire life! I am honored to reward the ones who truly deserve praise for their accomplishments."
Waluigi yelled in annoyance "JUST TELL US WHO WON!"
"Ah, yes, of course. As chairman for the Olympic Committee, I am proud to announce the winning time for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. And the winning team is… neither!"
The audience gasped. Gary Goomba and E-08 Reportertron gasped. And the athletic teams obviously gasped.
"WHAT?!" all members of both teams shouted.
The man chuckled and said "yeah, it's a tie. Each side won four events each, and you all technically finished this race all the same time. Sorry, but I cannot give you the Olympic gold since this is a draw. However, since I adore you all I will reward you with something that you deserve…"
Waku lowered the medal from his face. "And that reward is DEATH!!"