A/N – Okay, I've kept you waiting long enough. It's the moment of truth!!
Disclaimer: ARGH! If it was mine, I wouldn't be on the site.
Chapter Six
"Love, a joke"
I'm sat here just reminiscing about everything important to me and I haven't even thought about love. That's 'cause it's pointless. Worthless.
I didn't even think I could love. I never realised WHEN I fell in love with Howard. WHAT made me fall in love with Howard. It just happened. I didn't mean it to. HONESTLY I didn't. I dunno. Maybe I've always been in love with him. My heart stills when I think about what he said to me.
Just last night.
We had been sat watching TV together all night. I was snuggled up against him, completely ignoring his phobia of being touched.
Then, out of no-where, I leaned up and kissed his jaw.
He lept up, like he'd been burnt.
"What the fuck was that?" he'd yelled.
"It was a kiss. God, Howard, I've shoved my tongue down your throat before and you freak at that?"
"That was different, that was to stop you from dying."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Well I love you!"
"You… What?"
"I love you Howard. I think I always have."
He had this awful leer on his face then.
"I knew it. You go around shmoozing with all these girls. Hiding it."
"Hiding what?"
"The little faggot inside you."
"I'm not gay!"
"Then what are you?"
"You KNOW I'm bisexual. My brain told you so!"
"Yeah, well I didn't mind as long as you never tried to get me involved in any kinky threeways. I'm a one-woman guy, Vince. WOMAN!"
"I might as well be a woman."
"But you're not. You're a fag."
My heart ripped in two at that moment.
"Just go, Vince. You'd save us all a lot of grief if you weren't around. Just, I dunno, go take a running jump."
Those were the last words he said to me, before I grabbed my coat, shoes and ran here.