Disclaimer: I may have been born in England, but I regrettably own no part of this wonderful world. So I'll settle for playing in it. :)

Author's Note: Whoo-Hoo! We made it to Chapter 3! I'm so excited, because this has to be my favorite chapter so far, and absolutely the hardest to write. Secrets come out in this chapter, and you find out a little more about the White Rose Garden from I never meant too . . . There should be another chapter after this, and if need be I'll add an epilogue chapter after that as well. And a bigggg, thank you to my beta drumlinechick, she made this chapter so much better, :). Happy Reading, and remember reviews are love :)

What would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud.
I never said thank you for that.
Now I'll never have a chance.

Caspian didn't slow down; he just kept walking as fast as his legs would allow him. Not to wipe away the tears that clung to his cheeks and lashes, not to catch his breath, and definitely not because of the pain in his side.

I can't stay in this castle.. I have to get out. I'm being ridiculous, she can't get back, it's been three years . . . shit, I should be over it, I shouldn't let one memory break me down.

Not five minutes later he was gazing upon a familiar sight - a place he could get to in his sleep – known as the Garden of the White Roses. This was the last place Susan went with him. Sitting on the stone bench in the middle of the garden, Caspian carefully plucked a rose off of the nearest bush and started to cry. Tears streamed down his tanned face as his chest heaved in silent sobs - the same way Susan cried in his arms that day. Suddenly, as if in a trance, he looked to the sky and, for the first time in three years, let his mind wander to that night. The night that he finally realized how much he was going to lose.

Once on the bench, Caspian could only hold her; he had no words to make her feel better, no magic solution, and no way to stop his own tears, let alone hers. Silently they held onto each other like the physical connection was vital to their survival, and in some ways it was. In the short time they'd come to know each other, they became each other's lifelines; the other's presence had become like a candle lighting up the darkness of their lives.

Susan looked into Caspian's eyes and couldn't help but gasp.



"Caspian, don't look like that. It's not as if I'll never see you again. Even if we never meet here in Narnia, that doesn't mean that I won't see you," she said, though she didn't believe it herself. She felt horrible lying to him, but the sadness that reflected in his eyes was too much for her. She couldn't bear to see him in such pain. She reached a hand up and wiped away every tear before continuing.

"So . . . How'd you find this garden, Caspian? It's . . . wonderful."

She had no way of knowing that that was the worst thing she could've said. It was like opening Pandora's Box. Nevertheless, he answered.

With a deep breath, he looked to the sky and began to answer. "You remember that I said I found it after my father's death?" Receiving a nod, he continued, "Well, when he died, I was very young. I didn't understand the concept of death, and I didn't understand why they were putting my father into the ground. I was overwhelmed, and ran away from the funeral – I knew I couldn't stand to stay there another minute. I ran blindly, not really caring where I ended up – anywhere was better than where I'd just been. Once I stopped running, I saw this bench. Up until this moment, I was told that it wasn't proper for a Telmarine boy to cry, so I tried so hard to think happy thoughts. Needless to say, it didn't work. But I found something when I got here, something that I never even thought to look for. I found . . ."

"What did you find Caspian?"

Looking up again, as if he couldn't bear to tell her, he picked her up and set her to his right. He then stood up and walked towards the edge of the garden. Susan got up and tried to catch up, but by the time she arrived he was kneeling in front of a small vase that stood on top of a nameplate. The stone was obviously very old, and the weather had faded the lettering on it to the point where it was illegible. However, by the way Caspian reacted, she knew that whatever it said or stood for, it was important – it seemed to be breaking Caspian's heart just looking at it. She kneeled next to him and tried to catch his eye, but even though she could see him looking at her, she knew he wasn't seeing her. Susan grabbed his hand, trying to get him to look at her, but it was as if he'd lost something. She got the impression that he had never spoken about this, and that, along with the look on his face, made her more afraid than she could ever remember being.

"Caspian, look at me . . . What happened? You know that you can tell me anything. Even if you aren't ready, that's fine . . . but . . . please . . . just look at me."



Slowly he turned to look at her and whispered "I'm sorry." He then walked back towards the bench. Genuinely worried, Susan stopped him and pleaded with him to say something, anything.

Softly, he whispered, "This was my Mother's garden, Susan. I kept coming back here, year after year, because this is the only thing I have left of hers . . . I've lost my whole family, and now you're leaving, and . . ."

Placing her finger on his lips, Susan replied, "Don't you say that. Family isn't just the blood that runs through you - it's more than that. Don't you see that? Just because Peter, Ed, Lucy and I are leaving doesn't mean that you're going to be alone. Eventually, you'll make your own family. Really. I promise you'll be fine. You're selfless . . . you're going to make a great King. Stop worrying . . . besides, don't you want to show me the garden?"

With a smile, Caspian could only answer with a simple, "Of course."

Soon after, they began to walk around the moonlit garden and talk about their dreams, hopes, fears, and plans for the future. Far into the night they left their oasis, and walked back towards Susan's room.

"Thank you, Susan."

"No, Caspian, thank you."

With that they dropped hands, hugged and went to bed, not knowing that this was the last time that they would ever spend alone together.

Looking at the rose in his hand, Caspian felt a gentle breeze touch his cheek and heard a faint whisper in the air, Oh, Aslan, please, let him be happy, and let him know, that I never wanted to say goodbye. He knew that voice anywhere, Susan. Looking around the garden as if she would appear, he finally sighed when she didn't. He pulled out a sheet of parchment and began to write.

Susan,

When I close my eyes, I can still see you the way you looked that morning . . . so beautiful, and so sad. Every minute of every day, I see you in the things I do. I've tried my hardest to do as you asked and live each day as if I'd see you one day, and for the most part, I have. But I'm so afraid that you are slowly breaking, and I hope that you aren't because you have so much life and love left in you, I don't want you to waste it because you couldn't stay here. I keep remembering that night in the garden. It fills me with hope, because I know that when this life is over, we WILL meet again. I want you 

to know that I will never forget you, and that you are always going to be in my heart. Don't dwell on what might have been- Lucy, Edmund, and Peter still need you to be whole. You'll never become just a memory to me, and you'll always be in my dreams.

- Caspian.

He then rolled up the letter and walked towards the nearest torch, lit the corner on fire, and placed it on the stone plaque that his mother's vase sat on. Mesmerized, he watched the smoke curl up into the heavens.

Whispering, he added, "Aslan? Please help her, I can feel her sadness, her helplessness, I fear that she's breaking. Please, save her." As he whispered into the wind he heard a faint crackle, like the beginnings of a flame, and then . . .

A/N: I know, I'm a mean, mean person for stopping it here, and for making Caspian so upset, but I promise, there is a reason :). Don't forget, reviews make me super happy. :)

Beta's Note: Yes, please review I'd like to know if I missed anything or if I could've changed the wording on something to make it sound better or make the story flow better.