Booshy Elections.
Summery- Now's your chance to vote for your favourite Boosh character to become the new Prime Minister Listen to their promises and make your selection.
Disclaimer- I do not own the Boosh, and I hate politics. I just wanted to make them funnier this way I do not own Coco Pops either. Rated for one swear word.
Author's Notes- I want to say thanks to ButtonsMagoo for all her help and ideas for this story, to be truthful she thought of most of it, so big big thanks to her Thanks also to everyone who voted/reviewed.
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Author- ...And welcome back to the second part of Booshy Elections, sponsered by Kelloggs Coco Pops (may Sugar Puffs burn in hell). Now, after totalling up all the votes from over the break, I'm pleased to annouce the first winner is...Howard Moon!
Vince looks shocked at this news, but not as shocked as Howard. Naboo puts on a scowl, but then shrugs as he secrectly takes a puff on his concealed hooka.
Author- Congratulations Howard, I will speak to you in a bit. But first, let's just have a quick word from the runners up. First, Naboo.
The audience cheers as Naboo nearly chokes on a puff and hurries to sit near the author.
Author- I'm sorry you didn't make it. Is there any words you'd like to say to the people who didn't vote for you?
Naboo- Yeah, you're all ballbags and I'm gonna have to turn my back on you all.
He turns his back on the audience for ten seconds before turning back around, leaving the stage in a stoned stupor and nearly falling off the stage.
Author- Thank you Naboo, now let's talk to Vince.
The audience goes wild as Vince goes over to sit with the author.
Author- Now Vince, I'm also sorry you didn't make it. Is there anything you want to say to the people that didn't vote for you?
Vince- Well, I'm shocked to say the least. But I'm glad Howard got the chance for this, he deserves this. I just hope he dosen't really destory electro music.
Author- Thank you Vince, now finally our winner Howard.
She slips Vince her mobile number before he moves off and Howard sits next to the author, an estactic grin on his face.
Author- Well done, I know you're so happy to be in the finals. I understand there's something to wish to do to thanks the people who voted for you.
Howard- Yes, a special well...dance. Also, if voted in the final, I will live out one of Vince's promises and give animals equal rights.
Howard stands up and does his special thank you dance, which is really striping his tweed utility suit off to shocking pink hotpants. He gives a cheeky wink before leaving the stage, with half the audience clapping (his voters somehow stormed in just to see him win, bless their little hearts).
Author- Right...Now it's time for our next three nominees. First up, Bollo.
Bollo stands up from behind the large table and bowed, nearly knocking over the furniture as the audience claps. He is wearing a white cowboy hat with a black rosette pinned on it saying 'Vote for Bollo'
Author- Now Bollo, great to see you here, what's your feelings on this competion?
Bollo- I've got a good feeling about this.
Author- Lovely, now what's your promise to make you Prime Minister?
Bollo- Bollo promise free bananas for all, Bollo also DJ anywhere when asked. Also promise free hookas for every home.
Author- That's a good promise, but will it be enough? Thank you Bollo
The gorilla sits back down with a bow as the audience cheers for him.
Author- Next, please welcome Bob Fossil.
The audience cheers loudly for the ex-zookeeper as he stands up and bows, nearly knocking himself out on his mircophone. He is wearing his usual blue shirt but no pants, just his underwear, which thankfully his shirt manages to cover.
Author- Welcome Fossil, now I understand that you're either a retard or a genius. Which one whould it be?
Fossil- Well, I'm actually some sort of renius.
Author- Great, now and I'm dreading this, but what's your promise?
Fossil- Well, everyone will get sausages and tobbogons, and everyone will have to not like cricket like me. Also they'll get...er pants and if they don't vote, I'll come at them like a nun sandwich.
Author- ...OK. Thank you Fossil for your time.
Fossil bows lower and does smack his head off his microphone, nearly knocking himself out. The author puts her hand over her eyes and mutters why she isn't getting paid enough for this job.
Author- Now for our final nominee for this part, Dixon Bainbridge.
Bainbridge stands and bows, getting nothing but the sounds of crickets, who were actually discussing how to pull at the next bug ball.
Author- Welcome Bainbridge, had any other adventures since the Zooniverse?
Bainbridge- Why yes, I managed to find the sacred Topaz of Shamblumbles in the rainforests of Brazil.
He looks to the audience smugly to get a reaction, but even the crickets have stopped chirping to think what a ballabg he is.
Author- Great, now what's your promise?
Bainbridge- Just vote for me, you bastards
Then someone from the audience shouts out "What's in it for us if we vote?"
Bainbridge- Dunno...a kit-kat?
Someone else from the audience then shouts "Better make it two"
Bainbridge- Deal.
Author- Lovely, well that's our next three nominees. Remember the one with the most votes goes through to the final with Howard. See you after this break.
She then waits for the cameras to switch off, checks her phone for a text which simply siad 'Broom closet, after show. V x' and rushes off without a word to anyone.