Author's Note: I am SO sorry this took so long. It wasn't that I didn't know where to go with this fanfic, but school's been draining my soul these past few weeks that it was immensely difficult to sit down and just write without feeling guilty about homework I haven't done. This is the first free weekend I've had in so long.
Anyway, I hope this will be worth the wait. Almost 4000 words! I am on a roll. This chapter truly makes up for the lack of Kandy in the last two chapters, so if this doesn't appease you, I don't know what else will! Hopefully this will also tide you guys over until I can put up the next chapter. My classes end February 29, so maybe that wouldn't be so long of a wait. Three months of no school whatsoever – I'd have time to update this regularly. Yay! So, yes, enjoy this chapter and don't forget to let me know what you think. I live for reviews.
Thank you to SandyKirsten for a little help with this fic. Also, there are shoutouts for britgirl2003 and viper209n, just because you guys deserve it.
Disclaimer: Haven't we been through this already? Not mine, not mine.
LOVER I DON'T HAVE TO LOVE
"Oh, God." Kirsten murmured under her breath when she returned to the apartment several hours later, only to find the new message light blinking on her answering machine. Sandy. It had to be him. Her steps were hesitant as she approached the telephone, her hand trembling as it reached out for the Play button.
She pulled back before she could push it. Suddenly, Kirsten wasn't so sure she was ready to hear Sandy's voice, even if it was a recording. What did she expect anyway? The note was a bad move on her part, and she mentally berated herself for it. Sandy was probably wondering why she didn't call him directly.
What if Sandy turned her down? She wouldn't know how to live with that decision, knowing that she made the first move. But at the same time, Kirsten couldn't help but feel some sense of dread. Maybe Sandy wasn't really like how he was that fateful night? Maybe it was just the alcohol that made him seem so sexy and wonderful to her.
Oh, this is ridiculous. Just hit that button, Kirsten!
"Get over yourself." She told herself. She had a lot of excuses to cancel on him should she need to. She could tell him that she had to fly away so soon and wouldn't be able to meet him. Slightly reassured, Kirsten reached for the button again and before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed Play.
"Kirsten."
Oh, my God. It was just the first word, and yet it already sent waves of pleasure through her body. Kirsten remembered all too vividly how he moaned out her name just moments before he climaxed powerfully. She struggled not to moan, but she could already feel herself becoming wet. Damn Sandy Cohen for being so undeniable.
"I've been thinking about you, hoping you'd find the nerve to get in touch with me."
Kirsten frowned. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to think at that. Should she be offended he had the nerve to suggest that she lacked nerve? In fact, she thought she was being brave, making the first move like that just mere hours after their encounter back at Berkeley.
"Anyway, there's this little place just around your apartment called The Bagel Mill Café where I heard the bagels are really good."
Bagels? She couldn't help it – she laughed at that. So much for a repeat of their last romantic rendezvous. Not that you wanted one, she reminded herself almost immediately. But bagels? An invitation for bagels was hardly a plan of seduction. You should be relieved. Maybe Sandy had come to his senses and drawn the same conclusion as her – one night was enough, another encounter was asking for trouble.
"I've already made plans with my brother for tomorrow. So, if you don't mind being up early, we can meet there at eight in the morning? Just leave me a message if you can't make it." He left his number.
A pause lingered in the air, and Kirsten's finger moved from the Play to the Erase button, contemplating… well, maybe it was actually on the Replay button. His voice sounded as mysteriously seductive as she could remember, and in fact, she was daydreaming about some of the noises he emitted that night. That is, until he continued further with his message that made her withdraw her hand.
"If you have to turn me down, will you please leave me a voice message?" Sandy requested, his voice softening with every word. "I just wanted to make sure you sound as good as I remember."
Kirsten sighed. Sandy left a good message, no doubt about it. Even bagels and all.
"Don't chicken out."
She was still glaring at the answering machine, even after she heard the beep that ended his message. Chicken out? That was definitely not in her plans. Her prepared excuse for canceling out was merely just in case she needed something.
She didn't.
"Chicken out?" Kirsten grumbled, turning away from the phone. "I'm a Nichol. I never chicken out."
The Bagel Mill Café turned out to be one of those little surprises that make you fall in love with New York even more. It was a cozy restaurant just a few minutes' walk from the Nichol's apartment, and the place itself emitted a casual atmosphere filled with warmth. Despite her initial hesitations, Kirsten felt immediately comfortable as she opened the door and stepped inside.
Her blue eyes surveyed her surroundings, looking for the man she had been longing to see for what seemed like such a long time. There he is! Only the back of his head was visible to her, but Kirsten happened to be very familiar with that head, especially when she kept imagining it between her…
"Okay, stop it. No thinking about… that." She scolded herself as she had since her moment in the shower last night. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, unable to believe that she, Kirsten Nichol, had to resort to pleasuring herself. Just one night with Sandy Cohen, and it was as if it didn't take too much for her to become aroused.
As if he sensed her arrival, Sandy turned in his seat and immediately locked eyes with her. She froze on the spot, suddenly finding it hard to continue walking further in his direction. He was exactly how she remembered him just over two days ago.
"Kirsten."
Voice, too. And that sexy grin she had been fantasizing about last night, as well.
He looked incredible. Perfect. Really just how she remembered him… maybe even better. She had to talk herself out of wondering what else he could possibly be better at.
"Sandy." Why did she have to sound so breathless? Her steps became more and more unsure as she approached him, and a nervous smile flickered on her lips. The moment that she was standing in front of him, she immediately held out her hand, just in case he was planning on hugging her. Not that she was completely against the idea, but hugging involved more physical contact, and she wasn't so sure she could handle it with the state she was currently in.
For the millionth time since she sent Sandy that note, Kirsten was beginning to wonder whether this was the right thing to do after all. But she caught sight of that mischievous glint in Sandy's blue eyes, and was surprised at how she easily understood what he was saying without words.
Don't chicken out.
Oh, please. Like I would.
With a new confidence within her, Kirsten stepped forward and shook his hand in a firm grip, then immediately let go. She smiled at him before moving past to sit down in the seat opposite him. As Sandy sat back down, she immediately opened the menu and browsed the items on the page, although they were mostly a blur to her. It felt so awkward meeting Sandy like this, after the wild night she spent with him at the back of her mail truck. Then again, it wasn't as if she'd ever done this before.
Her smile was tight as she looked anywhere but at him. She could do this. She could continue to keep up this act of hers and then get out of here the first opportunity she can, before she could do something she might regret. Like, say, ending up in bed with him again. But there was one thing that was contradicting all the thoughts in her mind: Kirsten couldn't think of why she felt her one-night stand with this man was such a bad thing.
"So," She looked at him briefly before avoiding his eyes again. "Bagels, huh? This isn't exactly the place I'd expect you to frequent." Kirsten unconsciously twirled the ends of her hair around her finger as she took a better look at the interior of the restaurant. While it was homely, it did have a posh, expensive feel to it that made the place seem aloof to people like Sandy. At the back of her mind, she wondered whether she should put their meal on a tab.
Before she could make a final decision, Sandy spoke up. "Actually, my brother worked here for a long time. Well, as far as I could remember he has always worked here, and he used to take me when Mum was too busy with a case." He nodded at her, acknowledging one of the few things about his mum he shared to Kirsten during their previous conversation. "I got along well with the guys here. In fact, still friends with most of them." As he said this, he caught the eye of one of the waiters and gave him a smile.
Kirsten was surprised at how their brief conversation eased her frazzled nerves. She could feel herself becoming more relaxed and comfortable around him despite making a pact with herself to be on guard. It was like that coffee shop all over again.
"I love bagels." She shared with a more genuine smile. "We don't get to have them often for some reason, so whenever we get to eat them, it's usually a big deal to me." Like this morning, she added to herself.
As if he was reading her mind, Sandy grinned. "Well, this morning will be a big deal to you. You'll never feel the same way about bagels after you've tasted the ones from here." He beamed excitedly, looking like a little kid that she found him so adorable right then and there. "And you'll never want to go by a day without having them."
Kirsten challenged him back. "Oh, yeah? What makes you so sure about that?" She shook her head amusedly at him before turning back to her menu. This time, she was really browsing it, not merely using it as a distraction device. "I didn't think you could do so much with bagels." She told him, amazed at the extensive list of bagel varieties that the restaurant had to offer.
There was a sheepish smile on Sandy's face as he tugged her menu down. "I hope you don't mind, Kirsten. But I've actually ordered ahead for us." He admitted, suddenly feeling apprehensive that the gesture might've turned her off. In actuality, there were different thoughts running through Kirsten's head. There was a part of her that was offended at this, but it happened to be a very small part. Her thoughts had drifted off to wondering what else he could take charge of, like, say, her.
She shook her head, attempting to eliminate the lustful thoughts from her head. "Sure, I don't mind." Kirsten swallowed nervously, clearing her throat that felt dry all of a sudden.
A waitress dropped by their table to take Kirsten's drink order, and was back in a flash with a tall glass of orange juice for her. "Your food should be here any minute." She announced, to which Sandy grinned and winked at her. In turn, the waitress giggled, directing her attention on him and completely ignoring Kirsten. "In fact, I'm about to go get them right now."
Kirsten had to fight to stop herself from smiling, but Sandy noticed almost immediately.
"What?" He prodded, looking amused.
"Hmm. Nothing." She replied, a picture of mock-innocence.
Sandy quirked an impressive eyebrow at her, immediately seeing through her playful façade. "Okay, just what did I do this time?"
She relented. "You're such a flirt!"
His grin didn't do anything to deny her accusation. "Oh, that. I'm just friendly."
That you are, Kirsten was tempted to retort back at him, but that would be treading into dangerous waters.
"Besides." Sandy shrugged, not waiting for a response, his eyes searching out for their waitress. "She's practically old enough to be my mother." He told her, grinning.
Kirsten looked skeptical at that particular statement. "This is merely a guess, but something tells me age doesn't exactly matter to you. Or, to the women…" She waved her hand in the direction of the waitress, letting him complete her thought.
He nodded thoughtfully. "Generally speaking, you're right." As the waitress finally caught his eye, he nodded again, sending the matronly lady blushing red. Kirsten could see her straightening up her apron and standing upright before balancing the tray of food. It almost made her laugh. "To me, it's not really about age. It's the personality."
Kirsten took a ladylike sip of her orange juice and thought about that. Not that she'd been to a lot of dates before, but Sandy's words made sense. She'd dated a few good-looking water polo players, and then there was Jimmy, who was lanky and more average-looking than the rest of them. She supposed personality and attitude were factors in attraction.
Sandy smiled at her, noting her momentary silence. "Penny for your thoughts?"
Kirsten laughed and clasped her hands on her lap. "You just make me think about things in a new light." She told him honestly. See, Kirsten, you can have a conversation with Sandy, and it doesn't have to be sexual.
"If I may recall, that was how one thing led to the other the last time we were sitting like this."
Okay. So it was sexual. Thankfully she was spared from responding to that comment with the arrival of their food. Her gaze widened at the sight of all the food on the tray.
"God, Sandy!" She exclaimed, still gaping at the massive amounts of food. "We have enough food to feed an army!"
The waitress carefully laid out the food on the table. There weren't just bagels of every kind possible, but there were also a variety of fresh fruits and a few stacks of pancakes, among other breakfast foods. Kirsten wasn't sure how she and Sandy were going to eat all of it.
As she looked back up at Sandy, she found him smiling back at her. "It would be a shame if you missed out on all the good stuff." He said simply.
Kirsten had to admit to herself, everything looked so wonderful. She took another long, good look at every plate on the table and looked helpless. "I don't know where to begin!"
"Amazing, isn't it?" His eyes were sparkling, obviously delighted that he had managed to sweep this girl off her feet for the second time in a row.
"If only my mother could serve breakfast every day like this, I think I would have a happier childhood!" She said light-heartedly, sorting through all the plates before taking a smeared bagel for herself. Sandy merely smiled at her and took a stack of blueberry pancakes for himself.
His interest or lack thereof, made her pause. Sandy didn't push about her personal life. In fact, he hadn't even asked why she was in New York at conveniently the same time he was here. Maybe he was only interested in her for the sex? If that was the case, she should be insulted, but she found that she wasn't. She should be relieved. Didn't they come to an agreement that should they get together for more of this, that they wouldn't let their personal lives get into the way? That when they are together they would just enjoy each other, and nothing else more? Wasn't she the one who pushed for that?
Kirsten found herself lost in her thoughts that she might actually be able to do what Sandy had suggested that fateful morning. A one night stand that would go on and on. Do something for herself, for once. There was no doubt that his proposal was exciting… enticing, but could they really make it work? Was it as simple as Sandy made it out to be?
Absentmindedly she watched as he bit into a piece of fruit and enjoy it. Her gaze was drawn to his lips and how they moved so seductively as he chewed whatever he was eating. I could watch him eating fruit for… hmm, years? Five? Ten?
However, there was the matter that Sandy didn't bring up his idea. Maybe he changed his mind?
"Kirsten—"
She snapped out of her reverie to find him offering a piece of strawberry. Confused, she reached out a hand to take it from his fingers, but Sandy pulled it away before she could reach it.
"No. Wait." Smiling, he put half of it between his lips and licked the tip very sparingly, before dipping the fruit into a small bowl of sugar for that very purpose.
Then he held it back to her, holding it closer to her lips, intending for her to bite it from his fingers. He actually intended for her to do that. In the middle of a restaurant. Where people could see. The look in Sandy's deep blue eyes held a dare rather than just asking her to take the strawberry. She may not know him for long, but she already recognized what that look meant.
"I thought you always got what you want." Sandy said in a teasing tone, looking at her with questioning eyes. "Do you always take this long to decide whether you actually want it or not?"
Kirsten couldn't help but smile at that. "Oh, yeah? How do you know I like strawberries?" She teased him back.
Sandy looked at the strawberry, then back at her lovely face. "Do you think anyone can resist this strawberry?"
She relented, moving closer to take the strawberry between her lips. Even before she could do that though, he was already rubbing the tip of the berry, coating her lips with sugar and the strawberry juice that oozed from the fruit.
Kirsten quickly took the fruit into her mouth, pulling away the green leafy part before pushing the plump fruit into her mouth and nearly swallowing it whole. Her cheeks flushed and she bowed her head, trying hard to resist the urge to look around and see who just saw that. Avoiding his gaze, she wiped her lips with her napkin.
"Does it bother you?"
She looked back up at him, wondering what he meant. "Excuse me?"
"People seeing me feed you?"
Immediately, Kirsten's cheek turned a deeper shade of pink and she tucked golden strands of hair behind her ear in a nervous fashion. "Well, you offered me a strawberry and I took it. What's the deal? People taste each other's food all the time." She said, sounding more defensive than she was.
The corners of Sandy's lips curled up in a nonchalant smile. "It bothers you."
She shrugged. "Okay, so maybe I'm a little… uncomfortable, at what we're doing."
Nodding thoughtfully, Sandy leaned forward on the table and gazed intently into her wide blue eyes. Kirsten felt it again – the positive tension between the two of them that always left her wanting for more of Sandy.
"What exactly are we doing, Kirsten?"
She smiled helplessly. "Having breakfast?"
Sandy shook his head. Without breaking his gaze from her, he found another strawberry and dipped it into a pot of melted chocolate. He held it out, careful not to let the syrup drop onto the pristine tablecloth.
"This isn't about breakfast."
Kirsten almost leaned back, trying to distance herself away from him.
"Don't."
She tensed, and then frowned at that. Why did she have to listen to him anyway? She could look around this room and do whatever else she wanted to. Doesn't she always get what she wants, anyway?
"Look. Do you know these people?" Sandy asked.
Kirsten shook her head. "No."
"Do you honestly care what they think of how we choose to eat our food?"
"Hmm. Not really. Well, I shouldn't."
"But you care?" He pressed on.
She smiled faintly. "Out of habit, I suppose." Kirsten had always been self-conscious, not just about being fed in public by a guy who happened to be incredibly hot. It seemed to come with living under the public eye for most of her life. Back in Newport, whenever something happened, people always talked about it. Kirsten didn't want to put herself in that situation and have people talk about her.
"You feel like you should put out this perfect image of you for people to see."
That pretty much summed it up. "Something like that."
"So, out of curiosity, if you didn't care, what's the difference?" He couldn't help but question.
Kirsten marveled at how Sandy always sent her thinking about stuff that didn't even enter her mind. She thought about his question, ending up in a shrug. "Nothing, I'm guessing?"
Sandy smiled triumphantly at her answer. "Then take the fruit, sweetness. Enjoy the strawberry like you want it. Don't hold back just because people might be watching."
She took the second fruit from him, this time letting it linger between her lips. She took her time swallowing it, and looked at him straight in the eye as she chewed the fruit. He was looking at her lips, just like how she had been doing earlier. Teasing him, she swallowed at an even slower pace, but she was the one who had to bite back a moan, just by looking at how he was looking at her with desire lighting up his eyes.
Breakfast would never be the same again.
"People are looking at you." He told her, unable to keep his eyes off her lips.
"Sandy, I'm trying not to care here."
Another smile made his lips quirk upward. He offered her a cherry this time. She took it without a second thought.
Sandy watched once more as Kirsten chewed her breakfast. "Wonder what they're thinking?"
She shook her head, making her golden blond curls glisten in the early morning sunshine. "I'd rather not know."
He decided to push her a bit further. "What if this is turning them on?"
"What if it is?" Her reply was automatic, although she found it hard to say those words. She was really working hard trying not to care and just lose herself in her moment. She felt a thrill rush within her, and she never felt as carefree before as she did now. It felt good not caring what others thought of her for once.
Sandy chuckled softly at that. His gaze dropped to the food and then smirked as he looked back up at Kirsten. "So, do I get to taste some of your food?"
She nearly dropped the spoon she was holding at the suggestion, but immediately recovered. "Oh? And why should I feed you back? Do you care what other people think as well?"
He grinned cheekily. "No. I just want to taste a strawberry that's been rubbed along those lips."
"… oh." Dear God, how was it that he could easily seduce her with his words?
"Feed me?"
Looking around the room didn't even cross her mind anymore. Kirsten picked up a strawberry and ran it against her lips. She was about to dip it into some chocolate, but Sandy had grabbed her wrist and steered her fingers towards his mouth. He bit into the fruit and moaned quietly as he swallowed it.
"I've been missing how you taste for two days already."
That was what sent Kirsten over the edge. Her heart had already been racing with this pseudo-seduction thing they had going on ever since their conversation started, and she was already becoming incredibly aroused with all the teasing going on.
"Do… do you want more of this?" She asked, herself uncertain of what she was asking.
"I want a whole lot more of this."
"… here?"
Much to her relief, he shook his head. Kirsten wasn't sure how much more of this public teasing she could take, when all she wanted to do was to just release her inhibitions and lose herself in Sandy.
"Come on." He stood up and offered her his hand. But not before quickly wrapped some of the fruit in one of the table napkins.
"Let's finish this meal in private."
-
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So, the six-letter B word turned out to be bagels! Anyone guessed it right?
And, okay, who wants to guess what the next chapter will be about? Four-letter word that begins with an S! It's not that hard to guess, given where we left off in this chapter. Hint, hint. Review!