Her Sweetness: Hello, hello. Sorry about the late update but midterm exams are coming up! Heh heh, oh yeah, I am so gonna get A and B honor roll again! Yay, cheer everyone!

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 5:

As both Marik and Bakura continued to beat the living crap out of their 'friend', the pharaoh, the rest of the park was rather peaceful. Except for the shooting going on by the picnic tables. And the robbers kicking old ladies behind the latrines. And the dogs peeing on city monuments… Besides all of that, the rest of the park was rather peaceful.

About ten feet in front of the chibi yamis' playpen, was a spot on the grass that three teenage hikaris were laying in, all laying down next to each other and looking up at the sky. Malik had just returned from the vending machines with sodas and chips and when he got back and gave Ryou what he wanted, both Yugi and Malik looked at him strangely as he sipped his Diet Sprite.

"… Ryou, why in the world are you drinking diet?" Yugi asked, looking away from the sky temporarily.

He didn't stop sipping, "Because it has no sugar and half as many carbs."

Yugi quirked an eyebrow towards Malik who shrugged in return, "Don't worry about it, Yugi. Ryou has this weird idea in his head that he's fat. Even though he's one of the skinniest people I've ever met."

Ryou sighed, "How many times must I tell you, I don't think I'm fat. I'm trying to keep myself away from the edge and that's very hard to do! You may not know this, but I have a slow metabolism…"

"I don't." Yugi smiled and took another large gulp of Coke, "I could eat forever and never gain a pound."

"Well, aren't you lucky." Ryou sneered and sighed to Malik, "Not me… One little dessert and the next thing I know, my panties are cutting off my circulation so bad, my feet turn blue! It's a real problem!"

"Oh, Ryou, c'mon! What do you see when you look in the mirror, huh? I see a pale, skinny, British boy who's bent on making himself skinnier. Here." He shoved his Coke into the boy's hand and then forced it up to his lips, "You need to drink this!"

"No! Malik, you'll ruin my diet!"

"Drink it, dammit!"

Malik swatted at the teen's hands and made him take a big gulp while Yugi was laughing his head off. When Malik took the can away, Ryou took in five fresh breaths of air. Malik grinned, "See, Ryou? That wasn't so bad. I don't see any fat on you."

"You could've killed me!" He started to panic and look all over his body, searching for any pudge or bulge; in less than a second, he screamed, having found the so-called fat deposit. "Oh my gosh, Malik, I will never forgive you! Look at that! Just one sip and look what's happened to my body!"

Yugi had fallen over, laughing and banging his fists into the ground. It seemed that, in Ryou's search for fat, he'd mistakenly been pointing vigorously to his groin.

Malik blushed, turning around, "I… I'm not so sure you wanna get rid of that right away, Ryou…"

"…?"

…

Back over in the pen, Marik and Bakura had just gotten off Yami, sure now that the young pharaoh was dead and they happily rejoiced. He lay there, motionless, and clutching his large book in his small hand while the other two yamis stood next to him, shaking hands.

"We finawy did it!" Bakura jumped up happily.

Marik scowled, "Twook us wong enough… But at weast it's all done. You know, we shwould make a gwuide for oders who wanna kill dumb ol' phawohs."

"Ooh, yeah. How at Kill da Phawoh. By 'Kura and Mawik."

"How cwome yo' name gwoes first?"

He grinned, striking a pose, "'Cause I'm hottest."

"Dat's a wie!"

"Ohhh…" Suddenly Marik and Bakura stopped their argument and looked down on the floor where the moan had come from. It seemed that Yami had recovered from his death and was now getting up, holding his head, "W-Wat happened…"

"Dwamn, he wived!"

"Dat's your fawlt, 'Kura, ya didn't swap 'em hard 'nough!"

"Lemme twy again."

"NO!" Yami called out, backing away, his book shielding him from whatever the two might try to pull, "C-C'mon, you guys, stwop it! Can't cha jus hear me out? Why ya gotta be so mean ta me?"

"'Cause you make me mwad!" Marik shouted, grabbing Yami by his hair and was about to throw him out of the playpen, but when he tried to pick him up, Yami was only lifted to just above Marik's spiky hair before his small arms gave way and Yami fell on top of him.

Bakura snickered and tee-heed as Marik kicked Yami off of him, "W-Wat happened! Why cwouldn't I pwick you up?"

"'Cause your wittle." Yami said, matter-of-factly, then grinned, "An' dat means I have a betta chance of suvivin' yous guys!"

Bakura's eyes were wide as he looked to his friend, "We… can't kwill da pharow?"

Marik blinked, "Dis is wike hell…"

Yami nodded, consolingly, and walked timidly over to them, "Well… I do gots a pwan if ya wants ta twy it… I weally tink dis Wizard can hewp us, but cha gotta bewieve me when I tells ya somethin', not twy ta kwill me!"

"Bwut he's fwake!" Bakura shouted, "Dat's a wittle kid's book, dey make up stuff so stupid peoples can bewieve it! Namewy you, Yami."

"Dat's not true 'Kura! Lot's of stuffies in here is weal… Wike New Zeawand! An' wemurs! An' pee!"

"…" Bakura whispered to Marik, "I dwon't tink pee weally is real…"

After a few odd looks to the albino, Marik groaned, "… Oh, fwine! I'd dwo anyting to go bwack ta big an' get Malik to stwop cuddiwin me… Wat we gonna do, Yami?"

He smiled, happily and whispered, "I gots a pwan…"

About thirty minutes later, the sun had moved a little more to the west, as it was around two o' clock. It was once actually pretty windy, but now it was a bit warmer and the hikaris had taken off their shirts to make it a little cooler. (Or hotter, depending on your point of view.)

Yugi had been looking up into the clouds for a while, while all three of them were thinking about what they looked like. It had just been Malik's turn and then it shifted to Yugi again. He squinted, "Um, I think that one looks like a cotton ball."

Both Ryou and Malik looked at him, skeptically and lifted their heads. Ryou laughed a little, "Yugi, can't you be more creative? All clouds kinda look like cotton, but this is about opening your mind. For instance… I think that one looks like Mother Teresa bathing, naked, in a pool of honey."

"…"

"…"

It was quiet for a moment before Malik cleared his throat, "Moving right along…"

Yugi looked back up to the sky then sighed and his eyes flickered to both his friends' chests. He thought for a moment before turning, slightly, "… Why do men have nipples?"

"…" Malik was the first to look up. He blinked then looked at his own chest, blinking again, "… G-Gee, I don't know."

"Maybe it's because God has a sense of humor." Ryou offered, trying to tear his eyes away from his own nipples.

Yugi nodded slowly, "Or maybe it's because we were once girls."

"…"

"…"

Malik got up from his resting spot and put his shirt on, "This is getting a little weird, I think we should take a break from nipple-talk… I'm going to take Marik home before he gets a chance to question his masculinity."

Ryou and Yugi nodded that they would do the same thing since they thought hearing their kind of talk would do nothing but damage their growing yamis' intellect. And on their way home, Ryou and Yugi quietly continued their philosophy on the origin of nipples, but Malik shushed them when Marik looked back at them and then looked into his own shirt.

They parted ways on their street and before they knew it, Ryou and Bakura arrived home. Ryou went up the driveway with his little Bakura in his arms and as soon as he opened the door, his yami jumped out of his grip and ran up the stairs. Ryou blinked and followed him, "'Kura? Hey, 'Kura where're you going?"

He didn't receive an answer and Ryou continued to go up the stairs until he reached the second floor and peeked his head inside his bedroom where little sounds of frustration were coming from. He tilted his head to the side when he witnessed Bakura opening his drawers and looking under the bed feverishly for something, throwing random items out of the way.

"W-Where is it…" He mumbled to himself.

Ryou stepped into the room and tip-toed all the way across until he was right behind Bakura and knelt down on his knees, silently watching him.

Bakura growled and turned around, screaming and hiding when he'd seen his hikari right behind him. In a second, his head popped out from under the bed, an annoyed look on his face, "Wat ya twyin' ta do, Ryou! Gimme a heart-attwack?"

"What are you looking for, 'Kura? Your blankie?"

"N-No!" He blushed, "Jus fowget it, Ryou, I cwan do it myself."

"But I wanna help!"

"An' I swaid no, dwammit!"

After a second of starring, watery-eyed at his pint-sized yami, Ryou broke out into tears and ran out of the room, "M-My adorable yami is cruel and mean and he HATES me!" He screeched.

Bakura rolled his eyes, mumbling, "I dun hwate you dat much…" And he turned back to his search.

It was around midnight in the town of Domino and everyone who wasn't dealing drugs or robbing a bank was tucked safely in their bed and sleeping soundly. The grass on lawns were wet with the dew of the day soon to come and streetlights flickered in the darkness of the night.

On Sphincter Ave in East Domino, everything was as it should've been. Or would've been if not for a small, child-like person who was currently trapped in his bed. Moon rays were streaming through the blinds and slipped onto the bed in lines across the two that occupied the bed's faces. One was snoring lightly and quietly with one arm securely wrapped around the other, smaller one who was fighting silently against the leather straps that bound him to the mattress. He growled under his breath when his efforts weren't working.

Marik looked up at his hikari's sleeping, angelic face. He sneered, 'Angel my fwoot! Wat kinda angel stwaps a kid to a bed swo he can't gwet away? A swick one!'

It was then that he noticed a small buckle to the left of his head and grinned, reaching out for it with his stubby little arm. After a second or two of stretching and whining, he touched it and that was all it took for the thing to unlatch and the straps popped off of the young yami as he wiggled from under Malik's arm and slowly slithered down the bed sheets. When his two feet touched the carpet, Malik muttered something and turned over the other way.

He got up on the chair by the desk and opened the window as quietly as possible. When it was open and he was halfway out, he looked back at Malik's snoozing form and smirked, 'Stwupid hikari. Jus you wait, I'm gonna come bwack wike normal an' den I'll make ya neva wanna cuddle me again! Muahahaha—'

His evil laughter ceased when he fell off the sill and into a bush.

"Ow…"

About ten minutes later, after Marik had gotten himself untangled from the bush and picked out all of the twigs from out of his hair, he had made sure no adults or any policemen were out in the street before he went waddling to the middle of the street. Under a streetlamp on the other side were two small forms with spiky hair.

Marik soon made his way over to the two forms who, under the light, were revealed to be a small Bakura and a miniature Yami who turned to their accomplice with relief.

Bakura shook his head, "Where were ya, Mawik? Wes was beginin' ta tink you was chickin' out er somethin."

"Fo your information, Malik had me stwapped to his bed!"

"…"

"…"

They looked at each other, "Ra, Malik is weally kinky…"

"It wasn't wike dat! 'Kura! Did ya bring wat I asked ya to?"

Bakura blinked then nodded evilly, reaching into his pants and pulling out a book of matches, "Yup. Dis is da good kind, too, not dat chweap stuff."

Yami looked back and forth at the two as they giggled maliciously, "Wat da matches for?"

Marik rolled his eyes, "Hewo? We're wittle, now, Yami! We cwan't jus kwill peoples wit our bare hands no more."

Bakura whispered, "Yami cwouldn't even dwo dat when he was big."

"Hey! …" He pouted and sighed, "Oh, fwine, I dun care. Jus dwon't do anythin wit 'em. Anyways, I bwought da book an' everythin so we need ta get goin' afore our hikawis nwotice we're gone."

He started walking down the street, his small sneakers making a bit of an echo. Bakura tilted his head as he and Marik caught up, "Where're we goin?"

"New Zeawand." He said casually.

TBC…