Her Sweetness: Okay, so, the tribe I'm talking about is a New Zealand tribe called the Maori. They aren't violent in real life, I don't think, but hey, it's fan fiction.
Rascals R Wee
Chapter 16:
In the middle of the clearing in which Malik had walked to, the three hikaris were now being held against their wishes. The natives hadn't responded to Malik's language skills so well and they quickly became hostile, taking the teen and finding his companions in the bushes. They were now tied up together by the pit in whish the large pig was roasting with the tribe surrounding them, looking disapproving.
"Great. This is just great, Malik," Yugi said sourly.
"Aw, come on! You can't honestly blame this whole thing on me."
"Oh yes we can. Now, instead of eating, we'll be eaten."
"Shush!" Ryou turned to them sharply as a man who seemed to be the head of the tribe parted the crowd and approached them.
The heavyset man had blue and red stripes on his face and a white tunic to cover himself. He looked at the other men in the tribe and spoke in that odd language. Then, turning to the prisoners, he said, "Why have you intruded on our feast, outsiders?"
"Oh! You guys speak English?" Ryou asked.
"Well, I can," he man said. "The rest of them are stupid. … Ha, see, I can get away with saying things like that because they can't understand me. It's good to be the chief."
They blinked at each other. "Okay, well," Yugi began, "could you please let us go? We didn't mean to intrude; we were just hungry and our friend decided to try to communicate with your people. We're really sorry."
"Yeah," Ryou added, "and if you let us go, we'll leave quietly and be on our way."
"Hmm. Well, I'd love to let you go, fellas."
They brightened.
"But I can't."
They frowned.
"Why?" Malik asked.
"According to tradition, those who intrude on the sacred mating rituals of the Maori tribe must serve the tribe as sacrificial offerings to the gods. As, you know, a good luck charm for the next generation conceived this night."
Yugi pulled a face. "Mating ritual…?"
"Sacrifice?" Ryou echoed, clearly upset. "But we didn't mean to!"
"Hey, hey," the chief raised his hands to settle them down. "I didn't make the rules, I just enforce them.. Tradition, you know. It's all important."
"P-Please, sir," Yugi bowed his head politely. "We have to go. Three boys very important to us are lost somewhere, probably in trouble. They're vulnerable. We have to go find them or something… something horrible might happen. I couldn't live with myself if something had happened to Yami. And I'm sure you feel the same about Marik and Bakura, right, guys?"
Ryou and Malik nodded. "Of course!"
The chief nodded sympathetically. "I understand. Honest, I do! But this soap opera is holding up the sacrifice and, thusly, holding up the mating. The guys are getting kinda antsy, if you get my meaning."
"But—"
"Take them each to a different hut," he ordered to three strong men standing by. As they untied the boys and began to drag them away, the chief wagged his finger after them. "I've seen those adventure movies. If I had put you all in one cell, you'd find some ridiculously miraculous way of over powering the guards and fighting your way out of here. But not today!"
Back at the woods on the other side of the island, the yamis were sneaking into the scene in which they were filming a scene from the movie. The crew had finally gotten Viggo his latte and John was finished in the bathroom but they hadn't managed to find Orlando's wig. So, being the problem solvers they were, they decided to shoot Legolas only from the chest down in that scene.
Everyone was quiet, the actors in their moment and the cameras soundlessly swiveling.
The chibis stayed behind the rock that Bakura had earlier hid behind and they watched their Wizard as he perfectly delivered line after line.
"He's good," Marik whispered. "Such powa an' emotion!"
Yami glanced at him for a second and then said, "But… you know, he doesn't wook wike he did in da book. He's in white here an' in da book, he's in bwack an' fishnets an' stuff."
"Shut up an' count yer blessings," Bakura scolded. "You weally wanna deal wid anoder weirdo?"
"No, but…"
"But notin'. dis is our guy."
They were quiet through the rest of the scene and, when it was over, the director said, "Alright, people good job! Let's pack it in for the night and head back to our trailers. Tomorrow's another big day. Orlando, can I see you for a second?"
"Sure," said Orlando as he shrugged off his bow and made his way over.
The chibis ducked down so as not to be seen.
"What's up, Pete?" he asked.
"Well, about your wig. We have to find it soon because you have that big scene where you kill all those orcs tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know…"
"And we can't have you looking like this."
Orlando seemed to think a moment. He brightened and said, "How about this? We have a scene where Legolas gets his hair cut and dyed. Like… it's some type of torture… or something…"
Peter sighed. "Let's just concentrate on finding the wig, alright?"
"Okay. See ya," he waved and left.
Peter and the cameramen were packing up and rolling off and so were the yamis. They made sure to stay hidden as they followed the actors back to the large camping grounds their trailers were parked on. Outside, some of the actors gathered under a big covering where there was hot food and drinks.
They boys rode in on a dolly, underneath a camera. As it went by the food tables, they hopped off and sat under the tables, the white sheet hiding them from people in the vicinity.
"Finawy!" Bakura exclaimed and reached up, feeling around with his hand and pulling down a large jelly donut. Marik did the same and pulled down a hotdog and Yami ended up happily with a slice of watermelon.
"So," Yami said in between bites, "do you guys tink we can get to him tonight?"
"Da sooner da better," Marik said.
Bakura nodded.
"Okay, den." he smiled, a seed on his cheek. "Wight afta we get done eatin'."
Bakura reached up and grabbed a pork chop. "Dat could take a while," he said before digging in.
"Well, this is different, eh, Fruity?"
'I'll say… I'm not Fruity!'
"Hush, Fruity," Grandpa shushed the cat. "I don't even think cats are supposed to be here."
'Well, I wish I wasn't here. Honestly, your stupidity. It's led us to a dead-end job working for stuck-up movie stars.'
As it turned out, when Grandpa had reached into that strange man's pocket back in Domino, Little Fruitcake was unable to stop him in time. However, he did make contact with the old man's wrist and, immediately, a golden light surrounded them and they were transported to this place and when they were seen just standing around, they were given a job to work "behind the scenes" on the making of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Grandpa, thinking it a start and a safe place to plan his next move to look for Yami, took the job and ended up emptying the toilets of the trailers. He'd been at it for a while and didn't really mind but since they had added burritos to the lunch-cart, the job was a bit intolerable.
"Okay, only a few more to go," he said, getting up from where he knelt in front of the now emptied toilet. His blue bucket that was full and beside him sloshed from side to side as he picked it up and stepped out of the trailer with Little Fruitcake in tow.
They walked out of the immediate area to dump the waste in the woods. Grandpa overturned the bucket and it fell out on top of the growing heap.
The old man held his nose. "Hoo-whee! That's unpleasant."
'This is disgusting. Have you no pride, man?'
"Ah, it's not so bad. I'll admit, it's not the greatest job but someone's got to do it. Imagine what it'd be like if we let it sit!"
'I'd rather not.'
They went back to the grounds a few yards away and as the actors left the big covering under which they ate, they headed back to their trailers as well. Grandpa went up the three steps of John's quarter's, tilting his head as Little Fruitcake stayed down on the grass.
"Aren't you coming?"
'Oh, hell no. Did you see how many burritos that guy wolfed down today? With extra hot sauce. You can do this one without me.'
Grandpa's mouth twitched and he opened the door and went in. Unlike most of the others, the toilet was to the immediate right of the door and so Grandpa turned and knelt, almost fainting when he lifted the lid. He worked diligently and carefully and as he did so, the door opened once again, quietly, and three tiny boys walked in.
They stood in the middle of the room, looking around at the emptiness and not noticing the man fighting fumes in the corner.
"He's not in here," Bakura whined.
"I tought I saw him come inside," Yami said, looking around. "Maybe he went back out for a sec."
"Widout us seein'?" Marik raised an eyebrow.
Yami shrugged.
Marik smacked him across the back of the head. "Dun be an idiot! Dat obiously wasn't da Wizard you saw."
"Well, who welse is in here…?" Yami wondered, scanning the room. His large amethyst eyes settled on the man in the corner working. He squinted and recognized the man immediately. "Good gravy, it's Gwandpa," he whispered to the others, pointing.
Marik blinked. "Was dat guy doin' here? Did he follow us?"
"He must have!" Yami concluded. "We gotta get outta here, guys. Gwandpa's not himself wately. He wants me as his gweat-gwandson an' will stwop at notin' at get me!"
"Easy on da drama, Phawoah," Marik said, heading for the door. "Wets jus go an' he won't know we're here."
"Okay… c'mon, 'Kura," Yami waved the thief over towards the door.
Bakura, who must've been in his own little world during that entire conversation, looked up and, upon seeing Grandpa, yelled, "Ey, Yugi's gwandpa! Whatcha doin' here?"
Marik and Yami gaped.
"WAT IS WONG WID YOU?" Marik bellowed.
Grandpa looked up and the first thing he saw was little Yugi panicking. "Yami!" he cried happily, standing and knocking over the bucket, releasing a feral odor.
The chibis gasped and held their abused noses.
"Oh, Yami, you poor little thing," he said and scooped up the chibi in his arms. "Have you been out here all along?"
Yami began to cry. Bakura, being the one to get over the stunning smell first, climbed up Grandpa's overalls and swung on his belt buckle, kicking the old man right in his plastic hip. Grandpa immediately collapsed in pain and dropped Yami. Bakura rolled over and grabbed the young prince's hand, dragging him out of the trailer with Marik beside him.
They panted as they ran past Little Fruitcake sitting on the lush grass and licking himself.
TBC…
Her Sweetness: Review, please!