Her Sweetness: He's my best friend, best of all best friends! Do you have a best friend too? It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy, yeah, you should get a best friend too!

Woot, I love that song so very much. Enjoy the chapter!

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 18:

It was late and most of the lights on the trailer grounds were out except for a few late-nighters who kept their light on and it could be seen through the drawn curtains. The chibis had made their way around the grounds and were peeking into each window, even the darkened ones, trying to find where their Wizard slept and all the while trying not to be out in the open in case Grandpa was somewhere near by.

They had almost checked them all and had yet to find the one they were looking for. Bakura and Yami followed Marik over to one of the last ones unchecked and Marik stood under the window, holding out his hands cupped so that Bakura could stand on them. Pulling him up, Marik told Yami to hurry and assume the position and he did, climbing the tower of chibis to the top.

He put his tiny hands on the sill to steady himself and, luckily, there was a part in the curtain. He squinted.

"Wat do you see?" Marik asked from the bottom.

"Yami's ass."

"Not you, 'Kura!"

Yami tilted his head. "Well… I see someone in dere… in bwack… bwack underwear…? An' bwond hair…"

"We're at da wong one den, we're wookin' for a guy."

"No… dis one's a guy…"

Bakura asked, "How do ya know?"

"Cause dat underwear don't cover much…"

Marik and Bakura pursed their lips in unison.

"Well, so, do ya tink it's da Wizard?"

"I tink so, he wooks wike him."

"Good grief," Marik sighed, "why are we always dealin' wid da fweaks an' weirdos?" Of course that was a rhetorical question as they each had been asking themselves that since they realized each of their hikaris were, in their own ways, quite possibly the biggest pansies on the planet. "Awight, well," Marik resumed, "get down yous guys, wets go in an' get dis mess ova wid."

"Okay," Yami said, expecting to be let down by Bakura.

Instead, Bakura paused and said, "Know wat's funny?"

"Wat?" they asked.

"Mawik an' I are a lot more aggwessive dan Yami but somehow he ended up on top uh us."

There was silence.

Bakura continued, chuckling nervously. "It's wike… a pun, or something'."

"… Get da hell off me wid dat mess!" Marik shouted and shook himself, dumping both of them onto the grass.

Yami brushed himself off as he stood. "Honestwy, 'Kura, you say da weirdest stuff…"

"Tought you'd be used to it by now."

"No. No, I am not. Now wets go."

They toddled off around the side of the trailer, first checking the corner to make sure they were alone before going up the three stairs and standing on the small porch. Both Marik and Bakura stood on either side of Yami, not wanting to be the one to call on the freak inside. Yami sighed and used his tiny fist to knock on the aluminum door.

"Knock knock," he said casually, in case his fist wasn't heard.

"Who's there?" said a voice from inside.

"Uh… Yami."

"Yami who?"

"… Yami Motou…?"

There was a pause. "I don't get it."

"Wha…? I-It's not a joke!"

"… Oh!"

And, suddenly, the door opened and a man peeked his head out without blonde hair but whitish-gray. He looked down to see three adorable toddlers staring up at him with lavender, amethyst and brown eyes.

He blinked down at them. "Kids? What are you three doing way out here?"

Yami was about to answer but Marik, as per usual, butted in with: "Yeah, yeah, we're soooo cute an' stuff an' we're all awone. Wisten, wet's talk inside; it's cold out here an' I'm freezin' off wat's left uh mah balls."

Yami pursed his lips. "Weal charming."

"Um. Of course… come right in." He moved out of the way and allowed them to enter, shutting the door behind the three.

When they were all inside, the man sat down on a foldable chair in front of his dressing mirror and looked at the boys. "So… um… what brings you here? You guys lost?"

"No, sir," Yami said shyly, trying desperately not to look at what the black thong was revealing. "See… da ting is… we're not weally little kids."

"You're not?"

"No."

"You guys badgers?"

They exchanged glances. "No, we're actuawy jus a lot older."

Bakura pointed to Marik. "Well, me an' Yami are a lot older. Mawik is wike, wat, six…?"

Marik was about to bash him on the head but Yami shielded Bakura. "No," he cried out, "no mwore viowence!"

"You tink I care dat yer standin' dere? I'll just kick yer ass den get ta him."

"I dare ya ta twy!" Bakura snarled back.

Both of the yamis were trying to get at one another now and Yami was in the middle of the two, trying to talk some sense into them and simultaneously lapsed into the chorus of "Stop In The Name of Love."

The supposed Wizard watched this spectacle for a moment and then, growing tired of the high-pitched squeals that mostly came from Yami, he reached over and nudged Marik and Bakura away from each other with the back of his hand. They stopped and looked up at him. "Yeah, hello," he said. "You guys kinda neglected to tell me why you're in my trailer during my me-time."

"Oh. Wight." Yami looked around. "Um. 'Kay, well, see, we need yer help, magic Wizard."

"… Wizard?"

"Yeah, we've come all da way fwom Domino City jus ta get here… we need ya ta gwant us a wish just like ya did ta Tawo in dat book."

"… Book? W-Wish? Listen, guys, I want to help if I can but I have no idea what you're talking about."

"But ya gotta!" Yami insisted.

"Wisten, mista," Marik stepped up and pointed his tiny tanned finger in the man's face. "Our oder halves wont turn us back cause dey tink we're all cute so it's up ta you an' don't gimme dat cwap about dis not bein' a good time for you cause it's neber a good time ta be stuck in a fweakin' t'ree year old's body!"

"Yeah," Bakura added, just to be included.

Well, Ian was quite at a loss for what to do. He had known himself since the day he was born and had never granted anyone's wish before. But he couldn't just have these toddlers hanging around in his trailer and one of them already looked like their were on the verge of tears. And if someone happened to stumble in on him in his "me-time" costume and three crying children, some suspicion might be raised.

So what he thought of was something genius, at least from his point of view. He would send the three of them off on some little errand to take them away from his trailer. Hopefully, they would get lost and become someone else's problem but just in case they had they sense of a burro 1 and could find their way back, he would lock up tight so that he would not be pestered again.

Having formed his terrific plan, he grinned to himself and looked down at the boys once more.

"Alright," he said grandly, using his major acting skills. "I will grant your wish, young ones, and return you to your original form."

"Yay!" they cheered, happy and trilling.

Ian held up one long, skinny finger. "However, you must do something for me first."

"Dwink wemur pee?" Yami ventured.

Ian paused. "No… You must return this wig from whence it came." And, being all Wizardy, he held up Orlando's blonde wig that he had previously been parading around in.

"Oh," Bakura said. "Fwom… whence… did it… come…? Hey, I said it!"

Marik and Yami clapped politely.

"Well," Ian resumed, "as a matter of fact, not too far from here. The trailer at the end of this row. The man inside may well be sleeping and so, as part of your quest, you must not wake him. Just take the wig and put it on his bed or something, I dunno, somewhere where he can find it in the morning."

They nodded in understanding.

"Catch," he said and tossed it to them. Bakura caught it and held it.

"An' when we come back, you'll turn us back ta big, wight?" Marik questioned, looking wary.

"Sure thing."

That answer seemed good enough for Yami and Bakura was too busy messing with the wig but Marik needed more convincing so he strolled up to Ian and took the man by the hand, hooking his pinky in his own.

"Pwinky-pwomise," he said. "Now, if ya bweak it, all yer famiwy members will pewish in da wake of my wage an' da sky will turn to fire an' hell will wain down on you fwom—"

"How da hell is hell gonna wain on you?" Bakura asked from inside the wig he'd placed atop his head.

Marik glared.

Yami shook his head at Ian. "Don't worry 'bout him, da worse he can do wight now is prolly sit on yer wap an' pee himself."

Marik turned and glared at Yami then.

"Eh," Bakura said, "Mawik did dat when he was big too."

Marik would end up getting whiplash if he changed positions any more so he mumbled, "Screw it," and went out the door with his companions in tow.

Ian watched them go and when the door was shut, he locked it and turned off all the lights. "Whew… some crazy kids running around these days. I blame the parents."

Meanwhile, the hikaris were tired physically but mentally they had a new drive to find their yamis and were filled with hope not only because of their daring escape of the Maoris and their mating rituals but because seeing Ryou naked and covered in blood was a bit of a religious experience. Not everyone is blessed with that sighting.

He walked ahead as Malik and Yugi lagged behind and whispered to each other on the subject.

"Kinda… changes the way you think about life, right?" Yugi asked his companion.

"Totally. It's like seeing the Virgin Mary in your breakfast cereal."

"No way, it's better than that. It's like when—"

"Um, guys?"

Both of them looked up at Ryou who had turned around to look at them.

"Yes?" they asked.

"What are you two talking about?"

"Um…" They looked at each other. "Breakfast cereal."

"Oh. Well I'm as into Fruit Loops as the next guy but I think I heard something so we all have to be on the lookout."

Yugi began to look around cautiously. "What did you hear?"

"I'm not sure, it was a rustling sound."

Malik shook his head. "I didn't hear anything, maybe—"

Suddenly there was the sound of a whisper and almost as soon as it was heard, both Ryou and Malik jumped into Yugi's arms. His little knees knocked together as he tried to support them.

"G-Guys, you're… r-really heavy…"

"Psst." The sound came again.

Malik let out a frightened scream and Ryou shushed him, pointing over in the darkness where, by the trees, two points of golden light staring at them and the figure on which the lights resided shifted by the tree. The hikaris understood then that they were not alone.

"Oh my god, it's a murderer!" Ryou squealed, all his adrenaline from his previous excursion gone. "We'll going to be killed, we're going to be killed!"

"W-Who are you?" Yugi managed.

The figure moved a little. "Psst. Hey. Come over here. I got something for you three. Something special."

Malik blinked and shifted his weight in Yugi's right arm. "What is it?"

"Don't ask that!" Yugi cried sharply. "We should just leave."

"It's something nice." The figure continued, "Something no one else in the world will have. Something just for you. Don't you want it?"

"No, we don't want it!" Yugi said and Ryou nodded in agreement. Malik, however, got out of Yugi's arms and stood there, studying the man carefully.

"Wait, guys, maybe this could help us get our yamis back."

The man said, "Come over here and reach into my coat pocket. Take what was meant for you."

As Malik walked closer and closer, Yugi and Ryou kept begging for him to return but Malik had reached the man and was standing in front of him though all he could see was his two golden eyes. The man took Malik's hand in his and led it downwards into his coat pocket.

They all heard a high-pitched sound as Malik's hand went in.

TBC…

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