AN: 'My Blue Heaven – Taking Back Sunday'. Love it. Love them.
Thank you for the reviews, especially DarkMagic10 who has reviewed faithfully and added me to their C2! Aw shucks : )
Disclaimer: I keep forgetting! I DON'T own Twilight or any of the characters (in case anyone thought I did).
BPOV
I found myself in the all too familiar room. Boisterous laughter filled my ears as I was shoved from all sides by the rowdy partygoers. I knew I wasn't in my right mind as my surroundings began to look double. I scoured the crowd as I searched for the person who did this to me—until I felt someone start poking me in the side. Who would be poking me? I knew no one here. I looked around the best I could in my condition but couldn't find a culprit.
"Bella…" How did they know my name?
"Hmph, Bella!" this mystery person was now shaking me. "Get up, Bella!"
I snapped my eyes open as I identified the voice. Alice. I focused my eyes and there she was; not three inches away from my face, with an excitement apparent in her eyes that I was nervous to know about.
"Ugh Alice! You do realize it's Saturday, don't you? You know, one of the two days they actually let us sleep in?" I looked at the alarm clock near my head. No way, "8:00am, Alice?! Nope. Go away please," my last sentence was muffled as I laid my head back into the pillow.
"No! Hey!" she gave me another shove as I started to fall asleep again, "don't go back to sleep!" Alice was starting to get annoyed.
"What do you want?" I whined, "We're not leaving for another couple of hours."
"Bella, get up! We have to make you beautiful!" Alice squealed as she stuck her make-up bag in my face that had, up until this point, been hiding behind her back.
I'm fairly certain I paled, "What? Why? We're just going to the mall," I sneered the last word.
Alice looked at me as if I had personally insulted her but decided to move on to more pressing issues.
"Ah yes," Alice mused, deciding to sound philosophical, "but you are forgetting, my naïve, flirtatious young friend that Edward will be joining us on our little outing!"
Oh no.
I shot up from my laying position in the bed and felt my eyes strain from trying to pop out of my head.
"Well, that worked," Alice giggled.
I ignored her gloating over her successful scheme and began nervously pacing.
"Bella, stop that!" I think Alice was bit annoyed that I hadn't said a word yet but honestly, I was afraid all that would come out was a loud squeak.
I sighed, "I'm sorry, Alice, I'm just kinda nervous…? I said, somehow coming out as a question.
"Really? I hadn't noticed," she rolled her eyes with her answer, dripping with heavy sarcasm. Her eyes lit up once again, "No matter! Go! Go shower! Don't worry about clothes, I already picked them out for you—here," shoving clothes into my stomach, "and then when you get back I can do your make-up!" Alice smiled brilliantly, but I could still hear the clear order underneath her peppy attitude. I swear, when Alice gets out of here, she's either going to be a beautician of some sort or a drill sergeant.
Deciding to not even put up a fight this time (and also knowing there would be enough bickering during the shopping), I slumped off to take a shower. I noticed Alice had chose to not fully give me a heart attack with her choice of clothes for me; deciding on a pair of jeans (though, looking at the name on the jeans, I knew I did not want to know the price of them), and a simple dark blue v-neck shirt.
On my way back into the room, Alice grabbed me and plunked me down into a chair. I figured I'd be safer if I didn't put up any fight and decided on simply sitting quietly, awaiting my torture.
To my pleasant surprise, Alice did not take as long as I thought she would with my make-up, and when I was finally allowed to look in a mirror, I could hardly tell I was wearing any.
Pleased and hopeful that Alice really would stick to the deal we made yesterday for her to lighten up on the shopping for me today, I said a little too excitedly, "Come on, let's go find Edward and Jasper!" Alice realized my excitement as well.
We found the boys in the common area talking animatedly with one another. I looked over to Alice and I could tell she was happy that they were getting along so well. We knew Jasper enjoyed our company, as did we him; but for a guy, spending all of your time with two girls I'm guessing can get a bit tedious.
Alice and I joined them amongst the quickly growing crowd of other residents. Alice gave Edward a quick greeting and then continued her way into Jasper's arms. All to quickly they had to break apart, as to not draw attention to themselves. It is not encouraged that you find a relationship or even get in close proximity with the opposite sex at good ol' Phoenix Rehabilitation Center. Up until now this rule had not phased me in the slightest, why would it? With Edward's arrival, however, I was now feeling nothing less than irritation towards this annoying obstacle.
The four of us were standing there speaking pleasant small talk when the chaperones began herding us onto the busses like we were irksome, misbehaving sheep.
Fifteen minutes of awkward silence and feeble attempts of conversation with Edward later, we arrived at the hellhole, or as some people like to call it, "the mall".
As soon as we were in the mall, I could see Alice taking in her surroundings, trying to decide which store she wanted to invade first. Of course, she really didn't have a say of where to go or for a how long. That was up to our good friends from PRC. They weren't about to let us just run amuck. Sadly, this only made Alice buy more things and at a quicker pace.
Jasper had to practically hold on to Alice for dear life as we waited to be broken into groups. Luckily, they put the four of us into the same group. The chaperone for us, who was a woman who looked to be in her mid twenties led us to the first store and to our liking, let us run free. She looked deathly bored and I was guessing she wouldn't be too distraught if one of us were to escape. In fact, she began shopping for herself instead of watching us non-stop like she was supposed to. I might just like her.
I turned my appraising eyes away from the slacker that was our chaperone to find Alice already rummaging throughout the racks and racks of clothes here. Jasper was patiently standing a few feet away and Edward was standing farther back with a look on his face that screamed he didn't want to be here. I was about to redeem myself from the completely uncomfortable bus ride over here with him when I was beckoned over by Alice. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw what was in her tiny arms; a large stack of assorted clothing.
"Already?" I exclaimed, but I was met with a look from Alice that implied 'are you even asking that question?'
"You said you'd go easy on me today," I muttered with venom in my voice as I grudgingly took the mountain of clothing.
"Bella, be fair, we only get to come here every couple of weeks," Alice sighed, annoyed. Sometimes I wondered if she should be in rehab for a shopping addiction but I didn't voice my opinion. I continued to stare down at her, grateful for the slight height advantage I had over Alice, until she spoke again, "Fine! A promise is a promise, I suppose…" I refrained from jumping up and down from the victory of the battle that I just won. My huge smile faded as she took two items of clothing off the pile in my arms.
"…there you go!" Alice grinned cheekily. I resisted the urge to now scream and looked to Jasper who had apparently found the interaction between Alice and I most amusing.
I glared at Alice as I stalked off to the dressing rooms, throwing a quick glare to Jasper as well, Alice's silent-but-deadly accomplice.
"Don't say a word," I muttered.
"Wasn't going to," Jasper replied, now laughing.
My eyes immediately resumed to their normal size as they turned into a look of sympathy when I saw Edward who was looking at nothing in particular on the floor. I was about to console him when I remembered the dead weight in my arms and figured I'd get this painful experience over with quickly.
The first piece of clothing Alice had picked out was, to my annoyance, a dress. Did she like to see me uncomfortable? I threw on the black piece of cloth, not even caring to see how I looked in it. I knew what I'd find and it was nothing to my liking. I slowly walked out of the small room, waiting for Alice's critiquing. However, as I came out I saw that Alice was not standing there waiting impatiently for me like she normal would be. In her place, was none other than Edward himself. Great, maybe he hasn't seen me yet. Is it too late to run back into the dressing room and die of embarrassment?
Sadly, it was too late. I looked up towards his face and found his green eyes, wide and staring straight back at me, not saying a word. Did I look that bad?
"Bella, you look…"
"Don't say it, I know I look awful, I'm going to go change—"
As I was turning around, Edward grabbed my wrist to stop me.
"No. You look…beautiful," he finally got out with a small smile on his face. My stomach flipped at his compliment, though I knew he was simply polite. Even so, it made me feel invincible at that very second and the fact that I had Edward's approval made me slightly giddy inside.
"Thank you," I managed to whisper. I continued to stare at his eyes, not being able to look away and it seemed Edward was having this problem as well. Not that this was a problem. I would happily stare at him until I passed out from exhaustion if Edward allowed me. At this bold thought, I knew I blushed; I could feel it and I knew Edward noticed it as well.
Thankfully Alice decided now would be a good time to save me from what would have been yet another awkward moment between us. It was definitely starting to become an ugly trend.
Of course, my rescue came in the form of a loud squeal so high pitched I'd reckon it could call dogs.
"Perfect! I knew it would look amazing on you! Turn around," she instructed and I obliged, spinning in a small circle (not tripping, I might add), "Yes, it's a keeper. Go try the next outfit on!" And with that she was gone, back to feverishly looking through rack upon stupid rack of stupid clothing.
"Hey," I spun back around to Edward, "what do you say to busting out of here?" he asked in a mock serious tone.
"I'm not so sure the warden will allow that," I played along, nodding towards Alice.
Edward smirked, grabbed my hand (seriously, I just may have died at that point and not even noticed it), and walked over to Alice who was pulling out articles of clothing every few seconds and either giving it to Jasper if she liked or shoving it back onto the rack.
"Hey, Alice, we're going to go for a walk…okay?" he asked lightly.
"Mhm," was all he got in reply from Alice, her full attention on a red blouse she had just pulled out, eyebrows slightly furrowed. Needless to say, I was a little shocked that she hadn't protested; even a look of surprise broke through Edward's confident façade.
"Well, go then, sheesh," Alice all of sudden said. "Bella, I know your sizes—Edward, you look like a…34, correct?" (AN: I just picked a random #, if I made Edward a fatty or anorexic, I apologize.)
"Yes," Edward confirmed, astonished.
"Well, okay then, we'll just…go," I said quickly, before Alice came back to her right state of mind.
We both threw an apologetic glance to Jasper who's once smug face was now one of exhaustion, which was understandable seeing as who knows how many pounds of clothing he was carrying at this point.
As we snuck out of the store unseen by the so-called chaperone, it dawned on me; I was alone (well, technically) with Edward Living God Cullen. Let the awkward times begin… now!
However, Edward decided to save us.
"So," he began, "what store do you really want to go to?" He knew too well that I hated being in the store we were just in as much as him.
"Hmm…" I pretended to think, "to the book store!"
Edward laughed at the wide smile that was now plastered to my face. What could I say, I couldn't help it! I was getting the opportunity to shop for something I actually enjoyed. Books!
Five books for me and three CDs (we visited a CD store) for Edward later, we were strolling in the middle of the mall past the small carts (AN: I sat there for like five minutes thinking of a name for those things but this is the best I could come up with…) of belt buckles and cell phone cases, laughing like we've been friends for years. It amazed me that after some mental encouragement on my part, we had managed to strike up a decent conversation and were able to keep it going.
Oddly enough, we had somehow fallen upon the topic of Mike Newton and his attempts to getting me to fall for him. I had just told Edward the time when Mike had ambushed me in the cafeteria with a huge bouquet of daffodils, professing his love. Mind you, I had only known him for a grand total of four days.
Edward apparently found this hysterically funny.
"He didn't!" He managed to get out, astonished, between fits of laughter.
"Oh, but he did," I said half sadly, for now I was starting to giggle myself. When I thought about it, it was sort of funny; once I got over the sheer embarrassment of the ordeal.
Edward was still laughing quietly when I said, "I wouldn't get to smug there, Mr. Cullen, I couldn't help but notice Mike was pretty taken with you yesterday as well."
It was my turn to laugh as Edward's face paled.
"Yesterday morning was so brutal. You could not imagine the pure happiness I felt when I met you three. I wasn't sure if I was going to have to file a restraining order or call up the pound, he was following me around so much," he confessed as he cracked a smile.
"You may just have to yet…and I might be joining you on that," I joked.
We had now made it to the very large fountain in the middle and Edward sat down on the edge, motioning for me to follow. I hesitated, knowing all too well what this could lead to, basically with me and the fountain personally becoming acquainted with one another, ending in me soaked head to toe.
When I was settled on the very edge of the fountain (I wasn't taking any chances here) Edward turned the conversation onto a more serious topic.
"Bella, how long have you been here," he asked softly. I immediately knew what he was talking about and was at first surprised at his sudden curiosity to this.
"Three months yesterday…but who's counting," I replied, trying to keep the conversation light but I couldn't help but notice Edward's face darkened.
"And how much longer do you think you'll have to stay here?"
"If everything goes right, three months. Six months is the usual 'sentence' for us," I spoke just as softy, though it was hard with the crowd around us. I again noticed Edward's face turned to sadness but couldn't understand why. I also couldn't comprehend why I had the sudden urge to confide in Edward, "But to be honest, there are time where I don't even want to leave. I mean I have my mom here and my dad over in Washington state, but I feel Alice is really my family and I don't know how either of us would cope if I were to leave or vice versa…" I trailed off as I suddenly became somber.
"Why did you come here? You seem like you shouldn't even be going to PRC," I stopped myself from blurting out 'you're too perfect'. I also regretted asking that question, knowing it was probably too soon to be asking such a personal question; I was basically asking why he was in rehab. Does that seem like something someone would be sharing with an acquaintance? I think not. However, apparently Edward was in the mood to tell me about his personal life because after a minute of silent thinking, he spoke and I was more than happy to listen.
"I…came here for my heroin addiction," Edward said and at that moment raised his arm to scratch the back of his head and that's when I saw it; tiny pin-pricks running all along the main vein in his forearm.
I gasped. Smooth.
"What? —Oh," realizing what I was staring at, "I began with a needle when I first started using…" he said, speaking in the same soft manner. I tentatively reached out and gently traced over his vein with two fingers. Why would anyone do this? Yeah, this coming from the cocaine addict. "But I soon realized it just wasn't safe and the availability of it was low…" he took a deep breath, I could tell it was hard for him to be talking about this. "So, I started…snorting it. I had no choice, I couldn't just stop at this point, I was in too deep."
Edward looked away, as if ashamed. Me of course, being the great talker that I was, had no idea what to say.
"My friend…well, ex-friend, he was the one that got me hooked on heroin and at the time I was grateful because it relieved the pressure being put on me by my school and parents," I was shocked he was sharing so much with me and at the same time ecstatic that he felt so comfortable in sharing this with me. I would have been smiling had it not been for the topic we were discussing.
"What about you?" he spoke again, almost hesitantly.
Ouch. That was a sore spot. As much as I surprisingly trusted Edward at this point (and only after what, a day? Weird) I knew I wasn't ready to divulge this story and I think he realized it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't—You don't have to say anything, I understand," he rushed out, pleading with his eyes to forgive him.
"I trust you, Edward, as crazy as that is for only knowing you for such a short amount of time but… I don't think I can talk about that just yet. I've barely told Alice the whole story… I'm sorry," I really was.
"What are you apologizing for? It was wrong of me to ask."
"But I asked the same question."
"Bella, it's fine," a small smile now playing on his lips, but it was gone in a second when I noticed his face turn a light shade of green.
"Edward, are you okay?"
He swayed slightly, "Hm? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Well that was reassuring.
"Are you sure? You look…" I couldn't think of a word to describe the nauseous look on his face…and maybe I just didn't want to insult him.
"Bella, I'm…" he grimaced slightly. "Okay, maybe I'm not so good."
"Come on, let's go find Alice and Jasper, we'll be leaving soon, hopefully." Please just let him get back to the Center.
He nodded and the fact that he took my hand as we stood up didn't get past me. I scolded myself as I found a smile on my lips in this awful situation.
We found Alice and Jasper in another store, Jasper now carrying at least ten bags. I was pleased that we hadn't even been caught sneaking off!
"Edward! You look horrible!" Well looks like Alice didn't mind insulting him.
"Alice!" I hissed.
"Well, it's true…are you okay?"
He sighed, "No, I feel awful all of a sudden."
Then it hit me, "Edward, you're going through withdrawal…" I could sympathize with him. I still remembered my detox vividly to this day. "I'm sure you'll be fine by…tomorrow," okay, I didn't actually know that but I was trying to make him feel better.
Just then the chaperone announced it was time to leave, to our relief. Alice didn't even put up a huge fuss this time, knowing that Edward really needed to get back.
I felt the need to walk Edward back to his room when we got back and he didn't seem to protest. When we reached his room, he opened his door and collapsed stomach down onto his bed with a low moan.
"I feel disgusting," he said, his voice muffled by his pillow.
"Um…I'll just go then, if you want," I really didn't want to leave. We had had such a great day and it was awful that it had to end like this.
"No!" he said quickly as he lifted his head up from the bed. I could see his beautiful eyes were now slightly bloodshot…it was an interesting contrast, the green and red—Bella, you're getting sidetracked. "I mean, of course you can leave…but I wouldn't mind if you stayed. Though, I won't be much company," he said sadly.
"That's all right. I can be your nurse," I grinned, trying to make him feel better.
"All right, I'm sure you're better than some of the actual nurses here," he laughed, which turned out to be a big mistake as he turned a darker shade of green.
"I'll be right back," he mumbled. I knew exactly what he was gone to do and I tried not to think about it.
He came back a few minutes later looking slightly better, but only just.
"Erm…would you like me to get you a bucket?" I asked quietly.
He thought it over for a second, "if you wouldn't mind," he sighed, laying back on his bed.
"Not at all."
I stayed until I was forced to go back to my room right before curfew, or else face the wrath of Beth the Room Advisor.
I don't know what made me stay to take care of Edward today— oh wait, yes I do…it's Edward— but it felt good to do. Though, it was rather awful to watch, he looked so vulnerable when he was sick I just wanted to be able to take it all away from him and put myself through it instead.
At this point, I stopped in the corridor; I realized, I had some strong feelings for Edward brewing and they were more than 'just friends' feelings. I heart dropped, as I knew that even if he did like me (I scoffed at this, knowing it'd be in a million years before he even thought of returning the feelings) that we could never be anything more than just friends in this stupid place anyway. Though, I thought, this rule doesn't seem to be upsetting Jasper and Alice too much…
I mentally smacked myself on the forehead for even having this debate because I knew Edward would never feel the same for me; though, I wished more than anything that he would.
AN: So it was a little rushed at the end because I just really wanted to finish and get it posted. My longest chapter yet! Oh my goodness, 4,000 words! I almost cried when my power went out for a minute today and I couldn't remember if I had saved this or not. It was immensely scary.
Yeah, it took forever. I was back in school this week and was trying to get all caught up. Does anyone else find math disgusting? Because I sure do…why I ever registered for Math 11Advanced is beyond me. Rant over.
I hope you all like it, and please review, of course :)
--blinding.rainbows