Party Games

Chapter 5: Charades

"Hullo, Evans."

"Hello."

"How are you?"

"Well, thanks."

"Oh.. Well. That's good."

"What do you want?"

"Now, Evans, there's no reason to be moody."

"Now, Potter, I really think there is."

"Care to elaborate?"

Lily paused in mock thoughtfulness. "No."

"Hm."

"So."

"Yes?"

"What is it you wanted?"

James twiddled his thumbs. "Do you want to play charades?"

Another paused. "I'd like to."

"Really? Yippee!"

"But I don't know how."

"...gee, that sucks."

"Yes. For you."

James shrugged. "I'll walk you through the motions. Now watch. I'm thinking of an object. It has two words." As he said this, he held up two fingers.

"Mmhmm."

"Now, first word." He held up one finger. "I'm going to act it out, and you're going to guess." He pointed to himself.

"What?"

"Guess!"

"Boy?"

"No."

"Jock?"

"No."

"Illegal animagus?"

"It's supposed to be one word..."

"Toerag? Egotistical? Pillock?"

"James! It's James!" he cried.

Lily quirked an eyebrow. "Oh. Sorry."

"Now," he continued irritably, "second word." And he stuck out his hands, palms facing each other, with a foot going up and down.

"Accordian?" James shook his head.

"Driving?"

"No."

"Conductor. Maestro. Mime."

"No, no, no."

Lily stared at him for a moment. "Oh! Potter!"

James smiled.

"You know what would've worked better? If you were smo- "

"Noooo." James said this very firmly with a crooked, psychopathic kind of grin; apprently he'd heard this kind of analogy before and didn't much appreciate it. Oh, well. Lily could live without puns.

"Well, then what?"

"Say the whole phrase."

"James...Potter?"

"Sorry, didn't hear you."

"James Potter."

James sighed in content.

"What are you doing?"

"Just making a luxury out of the fact that you do know my first name."

"Well - "

"So, you want to play charades now? I'll get Sirius and Remus and we can have a contest!"

"Erm. No."

"Whaaat?"

"I said 'no'."

"I heard you!"

"Then why'd you say 'what'?"

"It wasn't a what what, Evans, it was a why what."

"I don't see what you're getting at."

"It meant, 'Are you serious?'"

"Would you like me to answer that question, Potter, or would you prefer I made some sort of pun out of your best mate's name?

"...really, whatever suits you."

"That could be a pun, too. Anyway, what were we talking about? My mind went blank all of a sudden."

"Erm..."

"You don't remember."

"Nope."

"Well, we'll remember eventually."

"So...go out with me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because, Potter. I don't want to."

"I thought we had a connection!"

"If by connection you mean 'we snogged in a closet for seven minutes as part of a strange and now regrettable party game', then yes. We had a connection."

"But this felt like a real connection."

"No, Potter, I'm sorry to say that your hormones were speaking there, and - "

"Charades!"

"What?"

"Charades. We were talking about charades."

"Erm. Okay."

"And you were going to play with me against Sirius and Remus."

Lily smiled. "No, I don't think I was."

"You were."

"Were not."

"Were."

"Were not."

"Were."

"Were not."

"Then why did you ask me to teach you how to play?"

"Potter," Lily said, exasperated. "I know how to play. I just didn't want to."

"...bullocks."

"Whatever suits you."

"Pun! Pun!"

"That was not a pun!"

"Was too!"

"Was not! You don't even know what a pun is!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Potter, just go away!"

There was a pause.

"Potter?"

Another paused.

"Potter, get your arse back here! I'm not finished yet!"