Party Games

Chapter 14: Snog, Shoot, or Marry

James's seventeenth birthday went unannounced. No, an announcement was not necessary; everybody knew. Each Peter, Remus, and Sirius wore bright T-shirts reading "Happy Birthday James!" The backs declared proudly, "He's legal!" Posters with his face and "Finally Seventeen!" plastered the walls.

James, on the other hand, has chosen a more subtle personal approach. The league of followers trailing him around that day said it all. Otherwise, nothing was different.

"Happy birthday, James," chimed a group of girls in the hallway. Somewhere from amidst the flock was a disgruntled, "Happy birthday, Potter" which stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Lily!" he called. She pushed her way out of the group and smiled slightly at him (deeming it necessary to be somewhat pleasant on his birthday, of course).

"Yes?"

"Coming to my party tonight?" He tried to be casual about it, but it came out as sounding breathlessly eager. It was pointless, too: of course she was going. Everyone in Gryffindor, fourth year and up, was going. But James sought her reaction like there was nothing else in the world.

Lily noticed this. "Sure, turbo. But there better not be any drinking."

"Oh, there won't be," he assured her. "But we are gonna play –"

"SNOG, SHOOT, OR MARRY!" Sirius crowed into the crowd. "Pick from any three!"

"God," Lily said, turning her face away. Her cheeks were pink. "You'd think it was a religion or something."

"It is a religion, Lily." James shoved another bite of cake in his mouth, swallowed without chewing, and grinned. "Me and Sirius –"

"Sirius and I."

"– have been playing this every birthday since first year. It's tradition!"

What a couple of prissies, Lily thought, instead choosing to say, "How is it played?"

"It's very simple," Sirius said, entering the conversation. "You're given a choice of three people, and you pick which one you would snog, shoot, and marry. Respectively."

"You're a couple of prissies," Lily told them. It couldn't be kept in; she found it very amusing how… well, adorably lame the boys really were. Too bad no one else noticed. They could start a club together: the Anti-Marauders.

"Prissies!" Sirius drew himself upward indignantly. "Prongs! Lay down the law!"

James's head swiveled towards Lily, and he smiled sheepishly. "I'll start you out easy because I like you. Peter, Remus, and Sirius. Go."

Lily raised her eyebrow. "I am not playing your ridiculous –"

"Go!" Sirius hopped up and down – while maintaining a very dignified, stereotypical butler-esque expression.

"Snog Sirius, marry Remus, and shoot Peter because there's nothing else left for him." Crossing her arms, the now-irritated Lily delivered to James the Look – in which her eyes seemed to seize his brain and squeeze it until it fell apart…

It took him a minute to recover.

"You wouldn't snog Peter? He's not half-bad at it." There was an awkward silence. James cleared his throat. "Not that I would know."

"You forget, I've dated them all. I know which would be best. Though Remus is a commitment-phobe…that's why it was only a very casual thing."

James said nothing to this for a moment. Then through gritted teeth he replied, "Alright. How about Snivellus, Amos Diggory, and I?"

"And me."

"What the difference?" he howled.

"And why does everyone keep asking me about Amos Diggory?" Lily demanded. "He graduated four years ago! Uck! And that thing with the thestral was only a rumor!"

"Erm…" James's eyebrow crawled upwards. "What thing with the thestral?"

Lily turned red. "Erm. Nothing."

"Just answer" Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "We all know it's physically impossible for a thestral to –"

"Shut up!" Once again, the Look introduced itself. "Anyway. Severus," she emphasized, "I would shoot. Not because I'm feeling murderous towards him at all, but because I dislike him so. You, Potter, I suppose I would snog – I already did at that stupid party at the beginning of the year –"

"The beginning-of-the-year party?" asked Sirius.

"Wait, you would marry Diggory?" James exclaimed. "He's so full of himself! And he's not even good at Quidditch!"

"You're one to be talking," Lily scoffed.

"At least I'm good at Quidditch."

"Somebody's jealous!" Sirius sang.

"I am not jealous!"

"And cranky."

"I'M NOT CRANKY!"

"Diggory happens to be a very friendly fellow," Lily said tersely, "and I don't consider Quidditch a necessity for marriage. Now, may I get back to what I was doing?"

"What were you doing?" Up again went the eyebrow.

"Eating, pondering my newest Transfig assignment and debating whether or not I should give you the gift I bought…"

This, of course, excited James more than anything else. "You got me a gift?"

"Prong! Focus!" Sirius snapped. When James continued to drool, he simply rolled his eyes and directed his attention to Lily. "Okay… Slughorn, Flitwick, and James."

"Shoot Slughorn, snog James, and marry Flitwick."

James was now dumbfounded. "Why am I never the one getting married to you? Am I good for snogging only?"

"Not even for that, Potter." Lily winked (which crumbled his resolve at once) and retreated to a corner where Mary, Marlene, and Alice were currently grouped.

Sirius and James stared after her.

"Well," said the former. "At least she doesn't want to shoot you anymore."

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah, Prongs?"

"You think I'll get my gift?"