So this has only taken me…. Like a year to update.

Oops.

To make it up to you, this is just funny.

There is a lot of Derek and Addison, but like I said, it's just funny.

Relevant but still funny.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It doesn't matter how many times it happens, no doctor likes waking up at 5 am on a Sunday in a hospital.

The sound of Addison's cell phone cut through the room forcing all the occupants of the room awake.

Derek straighten up in his chair and checked his watch, he had dozed off for an hour. He looked over at Meredith who, still half asleep, was glaring at Addison and her still ringing cell phone.

Derek stretched a bit and watched Addison uncurl a little on the couch and reach for her phone.

"Hello?" she said groggily, stretching a bit more. Her face slowly broke into a wide grin, "Hey," she sighed and chuckled, "I wish I was too. And it sounds more comfortable then this couch," she laughed stretching more, "and then there's that," she opened her eyes for the first time. Her eyes rested on Meredith a moment then on Derek who were watching her through blurry eyes, "Hold on," she said softly, "Ya, Derek and Meredith," she said as she left the room.

Meredith grinned and stopped herself short of laughing, "Well. What was that?" she stretched.

Derek ignored her and the clear implications that she was making and started to gather up his papers and charts, "I'm going grab the latest labs, check on the patient in pre-op, shower, and I'll meet you for breakfast around six?"

"Derek," she reached out lazily and touched his arm, "Don't worry. You're the best." She sighed when he didn't acknowledge her words, choosing instead to furrow his brow and check something in the charts. She exhaled loudly, "So, hospital breakfast. How romantic."

Derek smiled at her sheepishly. Leaning over he gently pressed his lips against her temple then pulled away slowly, "Good Morning."

She smiled softly back, "Morning."

He kissed her again, this time on the forehead, "I'll see you at breakfast."

XXXXXXXX

Cristina let herself in Meredith's front door and let it slam shut behind her, "Hello!" She yelled loudly. She glanced at her watch, 6:07am. "Hello?" she yelled again.

"Hello?"

Cristina turned towards the stairs following the sound of the voice she was only half sure that she had heard.

"Hello?"

Cristina opened the door to the attic and walked up the stairs. She paused, "What are you doing?"

Callie turned around briefly, "Painting."

Cristina nodded, "Does George know that you are painting a bathroom while half-naked with McSteamy?"

Callie barely glanced at her sports bra and sweatpants before shrugging, "I have no qualms about Mark seeing me half naked."

Mark grinned from where he was standing in the tub, stripped to the waist, "I have no qualms about that either."

Cristina crossed her arms over her chest and watched as Mark continued paint the trim.

"Hey," Callie smirked, trying to get Cristina's attention, "Green or Purple?"

"Huh?" Cristina asked, not really paying attention.

"This bathroom. Lime green or dark purple?"

"Green."

"Perfect. Now why are you here?"

Cristina tilted her head and continued to watch Mark paint; "Bailey kicked me out of the hospital. I'm killing time until I sneak back in for the Battle of the Ex's."

"What's that?" Mark asked.

"Derek and Addison are in surgery together. With Meredith," Callie told him pouring green paint into a tray.

"Really?" Mark turned around, an eager look on his face, "Can we go?"

Callie looked at him oddly, "Why are you asking me?"

"I need someone to sit next to."

"It's not even that cool of a surgery."

"But it's Derek and Addison," Mark said as if that explained it all, "Their surgeries are fun."

"Fun?"

"Fun. It's like verbal war that Addison always wins."

Callie stared at him. The idea was vaguely appealing, "Yeah, okay," she relented turning to Cristina, "What time?"

XXXXXXXX

Derek stepped not-so-confidently into the operating theatre, "It's a great day to…" he stopped short, "Get away from that stereo."

Addison didn't even glance up, "You have the worst taste in music."

"Away."

"Really Derek, how can you operate to something like this?"

"You," he nodded to an intern who's name he never learned, "You are in charge of the stereo," he pointed to Addison, "Don't let her near it."

Addison gave him an amused took and moved towards the table, busying herself checking the patient's vitals and outputs, "Mark's here," she observed.

Derek glanced up at the observation deck, it was full to capacity, "Word must have gotten around that you like to make a spectacle of yourself during my surgeries."

"Only because I know that you perform better under pressure," she mused, a hint of sass in her voice.

From his seat in the front row Mark smiled, "They haven't even started and she already has a point for innuendo."

"She should get 2 for saying it when they are divorced," Callie ripped open a bag of caramel corn.

"Then she should get 3 for saying it in front of Meredith."

Callie and Mark turned to Cristina who was sitting behind them with Alex.

"What?" she asked, "Just because I'm Meredith's friend I can't play?"

Mark gave her an approving smile and turned to face the front again, "Addison-3, Derek-0"

XXXXXXX

Addison took a step back from the table and paused apprehensively. The patient remained stable.

Derek glanced up, the first few critical steps of the procedure successfully over, "Nice work Dr. Montgomery."

"You too Dr. Shepherd," she smiled, sitting on a nearby stool, "You kept the patient alive for the two hours. Only 4 and a half to go."

"Did you want to take over then Addison? We both know how similar neurology and neonatology are."

"They're practically the same thing," Addison smirked, "Don't worry, I'll be right here if you start to feel overwhelmed."

Addison slid her stool back away from the table and over towards the intern guarded stereo.

Cristina raised an eyebrow, "Is she going to try to get that music changed? 'Cause Shepherd doesn't change his music for anyone."

"Well pay attention," Mark said quietly, "'Cause you are about to see why Addison and Derek got divorced."

"Hi," Addison said casually to the intern.

"Addison," Derek said tersely.

"I'm just talking to him Derek," Addison rolled her eyes at the intern, indicating that Derek was a fool, "I've never seen you before. Have I?"

He nodded, "I started out in emergency medicine."

"Really?" she pause seemingly deep in thought, "Did I maybe work with you on a case? Yeah, about 3 months ago. You presented. I remember you."

"Yeah, that was me."

"I never forget a promising face," Addison smiled, "I'm Addison Montgomery."

"Uh. Ted."

"Just Ted?"

"Graham," he stuttered nervously, "Ted, ugh, Graham, Dr. Montgomery."

"Addison, please," she smiled, "Dr. Montgomery is my father." There was a long pause as Addison turned her attention back to the surgery. She waited until Ted had looked over at her 3 times before returning her focus to him, "How old are you Ted? 26?"

Ted nodded.

Addison eyed him up and down once and made a small sound of approval in the back of her throat, "You must find this song as old fashioned as I do."

Ted shrugged and gave her a small smile behind his mask, "Maybe a little."

"To bad all we have is my ex-husbands sorry excuse for music."

"Well," Ted said, finding his nerve, "Someone left a CD in the player. I don't know what it is though."

Addison raised her eyebrow and blinked her eyes slowly and suggestively.

"He's changing the music," Cristina exclaimed in disbelief.

Callie stared in awe, "I have never seen anyone flirt like that. She's wearing scrubs and a mask and that kid is putty. She didn't even try."

Mark nodded, "Addison's charms are a force to be reckoned with. And she knows it, " he glanced around, "What? You thought I seduced her?"

"No," Callie watched Addison move to the other side of the room, "I thought you were both drunk."

"I assumed Addison was depressed and you're a slut," Cristina added.

"He's a man and Addison's hot," Alex kicked out his legs out more comfortably.

Izzie turned towards them, "I thought she didn't love McDreamy anymore and was looking for an easy out," George nodded in agreement.

"Well now you know," Mark crossed his arms, "Addison is a shameless flirt , and she always knows exactly what she is doing," he smiled as he watched her but as much distance as possible between herself and the stereo, "Sometimes she uses her powers for evil, but her heart's in the right place."

"Addison!" Derek said sharply as the music switched over.

"What?" she asked innocently, "I wasn't me. I'm all the way over here. But it's a good song," she slowly began to move her upper body to the music. Slowly she started to move more and more to the music.

"I know this was you, Addison."

Addison ignored him, continuing her little dance, "Doesn't it just make you want to sing along?"

"I hate this song," Derek replied, beginning to rid itself his typical surgical gruffness.

Meredith looked back and forth between the two of them. Despite his protests, she rarely saw Derek this relaxed during a surgery.

"No one hates this song. You either love the Scissor Sisters or you are in denial."

"I hate it."

"Are you telling me that," Addison paused for effect, "you don't feel like dancing?"

Derek chuckled in spite of himself.

"Yeah, I thought so"

His eyes slide to Meredith who was sitting next to her.

"It must have switched on it's own," Meredith assured him, "I'm sure it will switch back in a minute and you can continue to bore us all with your golden oldies."

"Traitor," he sighed, "Go ahead. Dance. Side with my ex-wife." He paused, "But after that I am in charge of this OR."

"Thanks," Addison whispered appreciatively to Meredith once Derek had returned to his surgery, his head bobbing to the music despite his resolve to hate it.

Meredith shrugged, "It's helping him relax."

"He never did know what was best for him," Addison chuckled.

Meredith didn't reply. She wasn't quite sure what Addison meant by that.

"I like your hair."

Meredith's brow furrowed.

"Your hair," Addison repeated, "I like it."

"Oh, thanks," Meredith replied awkwardly, "It's darker."

Addison nodded, "I like it."

"Thanks."

They lapsed back into silence.

"Just needed the change."

Addison looked over at her and raised her eyebrow, "It was a good choice. It suits you."

"You think?"

Addison nodded sincerely, "It does."

"I had the hardest time making a choice," Meredith revealed, "It was either this or blond."

Addison shook her head, "No, blond. I tried blond. Very few people can pull off blond."

"Exactly. Plus I live with Izzie."

They both glanced up at Izzie, who unconsciously flipped her hair.

They both started to laugh.

Derek looked over at them uneasily, "What's going on?" he asked, trying to sound like he was amused and comfortable with them sharing jokes.

"Nothing," Addison replied, leaning back comfortably in her chair.

Meredith glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, "You were blond? Really? I cannot picture that."

"Well don't," Addison advised her, "Because it was a very very bad decision. Huge mistake."

"When were you blond?" Derek asked from the table.

"You weren't around then," Addison replied vaguely.

He looked up and their eyes met briefly. He blinked uncomfortable and returned his attention to his work.

Meredith chuckled again.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No. Tell me."

"No. It's just…" Meredith laughed again, "Can you imagine if I dyed my hair red?"

Addison turned her head to look at her and immediately burst out laughing. "Oh," she sighed finally, getting control of the laughter by wrapping her arms tightly around her waist, "the nurses would die."

"But it would be seriously funny."

Again they both started laughing.

Up in the observation deck Callie watched them in confusion, "I don't get it."

Cristina shrugged, "Maybe they are laughing at each other."

"Maybe they are friends now."

"Maybe they are about to claw each others eyes out."

Addison watched with amusement as a heated debate erupted in the gallery, "They must think that hell has frozen over," she mused.

"I hope not," Derek spoke up, "Then you'll have no home to return to."

Addison was silent a beat, "Oh. That was good," she congratulated him.

"Thanks."

"You're a funny man Derek."

"He's really not," Meredith said quietly.

"I know," Addison replied, "But the man has his hands on the brain of a pregnant woman. He doesn't need to be funny."

"I heard that."

XXXXXXX

"That," Callie spoke slowly into the almost empty gallery, "Was amazing."

"I told you."

"Who knew that Dr. Montgomery was that funny," Crisina said, glancing at Callie, Mark and Alex, "Okay. Well, I didn't."

"That was the most…" Callie continued to stare in awe, "It was like a roast, but with blood."

Mark stood and stretched, "It's somewhat comforting that they are still friends," he turned and walked through the door, "I need a certain amount of consistency in my life."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I promise to never again take that long between updates.

I also promise to never again take the LSATs.

I'm in love with the next chapter.