Disclaimer: I am obviously not Stephanie Meyer, so these awesome, wicked, cool, beautiful, amazing, great, characters don't belong to me. Bummer.

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Traversing plains and stormy seas

If only to escape;

Flee from the dread nightmarish dream,

And finally awake.

In a matter of seconds she had bridged the distance between us, coming from behind her desk to kneel in front of me at eye level. I hadn't noticed her move. I never really paid attention to her during these meetings so I let out a small gasp of suprise when she touched my hand, her looking up into my downcast ashen eyes with a look of concern.

"Bella," she said patting my hand, "Bella did you listen to anything I just said, anything at all"

"Huh?" I mumbled blearily. Although I hadn't been sleeping I was about as close as you could get to it without being face-down on a desk drooling with your eyes shut, "I'm sorry I just..."

Ms. White stood up and looked at me appraisingly, shaking her head all the while. She smoothed out her skirt and sat on the desk opposite me, an unusually casual move for one I thought to be so prim and proper.

"We haven't really been on the same page at all Bella, have we?"

I smiled weakly.

"Do you want the polite answer or the truthful one?" I asked tentatively.

Ms. White laughed and clapped her hands over her lap.

"I'm a big girl. I think I can handle the truth."

"These past three months. I haven't paid attention to any of our meetings, I just used them as an excuse to get out of class."

I braced myself for whatever angry outburst would follow my declaration, but I was suprised to receive a quite different reaction.

"I assumed as much," she said smiling sadly, "It's been rough for you hasn't it..."

It wasn't so much a question as it was a stated truth. Heavy and sinister it hung in the still damp air, and for at least a minute neither of us spoke. The only sounds in the office was the soft rumbling of the ventilator and the raindrops pattering against the window behind drawn venetian blinds.

"Hard!" I thought, "Try hellish!"

Throughout the silence Ms. White fiddled with the hem of her skirt and her pearl necklace, as if she was waiting for me to finally answer her question. When she realized I had no intention of doing this she looked at her watch.

"Well we haven't got much time left Bella ma' dear," she said, her tone artificially chipper, "And since we're being honest with each other now and turning a new leaf, I have a little proposal for you!"

As she said this she rummaged through a slew immaculately filed and color coded folders. From a pink folder emerged the product of her toils. A small pamphlet which appeared to be some sort of a travel brochure and a stack of forms.

Ms.White returned to her position behind the mahogany desk but she remained standing fanning the brochure and forms on the surface of the desk and motioning to them as she spoke.

"Now Bella, we both know that you've been depress--" she quickly caught herself, noting the finality in the word she was preparing to use, "I mean, you haven't been yourself lately, and I think it would be good for you to have a bit of a change of pace so to speak."

I was skeptical.

"What do you mean? It's the middle of the school year. I can't just go on vacation!"

She continued, unfazed by my angry outburst.

"Which leads me to my next point:"

As she said this she held up the brochure. On the cover it said "International Student-Leader Convention: Fort William" and displayed pictures of happy students rock climbing kayaking and performing other various forms of outdoor activities, all smiling cheerfully.

"You have been selected to represent Forks high school at this years International Student Leader convention in Scotland."

I stared at her in open shock. Was this some kind of joke? Who in their right mind would choose me to go to this type of thing? Me, a virtually comatose, unremarkable, nobody. I wasn't the smartest or the funniest or the best looking. What was she getting at?

"You can't be serious!"

"I am," she said smirking, "And you should be honored! Just think about it, flying to Scotland, participating in all sorts of fun outdoorsy stuff, meeting new exciting kids from all over the world... I know a bunch of kids here would kill to have this opportunity!"

"Give it to them then!" I yelled shoving the papers at her.

I couldn't believe my ears. I wanted to kill whoever's idea this had been. I didn't want to go on some outdoor excursion. I'm so accident prone that I'd probably end up impaling myself on a kayak paddle or fall off of some cliff. For most people outdoor sports are dangerous, but for me they're deadly. As Edward used to say, I'm a magnet for trouble.

And then there's the whole Edward thing. I cringed in pain at the thought of him. Even though I was supposed to be 'moving-on' I still harbored this insane hope that somehow he would come back for me, and I would be whole again. Leaving Forks would mean there was no turning back, no chance that I would be reunited with Edward.

The thought was liberating in a way, I thrilled at the idea of leaving everything behind, starting anew... but my brief feelings of freedom were quickly overcome by the sickness accompanying the thought of never seeing Edward again. I

"I'm sorry Ms. White, I just can't do this."

I picked up the brochure and ran my fingers over the dates of the convention.

"It says here that the convention starts in three days. That's not nearly enough time to pack and prepare, not to mention that finals are in less than a week. I really appreciate the offer but Charlie would never agree to this on such short notice, and besides I can't just leave him hear alone, he'd starve to death."

I smiled weakly and then started to head for the door.

"And besides, we both know I don't deserve this trip, there are much better student leaders here in Forks. Thanks for the talk, I really enjoyed it."

Before I could leave Ms. White positioned herself between me and the door. Her persistence was surprising. Her face was stern but not unkind and as she spoke her words were laced with a sincerity that was a bit off-putting.

"Look Bella, I've tried to be nice about this but I'm going to cut to the chase. You weren't the first person picked for this program, Angela was. She's in your grade, you're friends with her right?"

I nodded in agreement, my expression colored by equal parts embarrassment and shock.

"Well her family is going through tough times in the money department and they weren't going to be able to pay for her plane ticket. Now Angela suggested that since she couldn't go that we extend the offer to you so that you could, and I quote, 'get away from whatever was bugging you' here."

Typical Angela, too good for her own good.

"We've already spoken to Charlie about it and he's thrilled. All of the expenses have been taken care of, it's just a matter of you agreeing to go."

For the third time in less than an hour I was shocked speechless. Angela, Charlie, and Ms. White had been keeping this secret from me for this long?

I guess Ms. White took my surprised silence as a declination because she began her persuasive speech again.

"Bella, I'm not going to beg you to go to this, but there's something I want you to know. Your suffocating yourself. You might not notice it now, but all those memories, all of those painful, joyful little moments stored in the back of your mind. Those are pressing in on you from all sides and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. Your fading away, we've all noticed it; Charlie, Me, Angela, all of us. We've tried our best to help you out, but whatever happened- whoever broke your heart has got you so messed and broken that there's nothing any of us can do but sit back and watch you run yourself into the ground,"

A single tear escaped my eye and Ms. White smiled, knowingly brushing it away with hands scented with Chanel No. 5.

"You see? I'm right aren't I?"

I shook my head in confirmation. Ms. White took my face into her smooth cool hands.

"We're doing this because we care for you. Even if you don't care for yourself right about now. I'm not asking you to agree to go right now, but think about it. Think about the piece of mind it would give Charlie, and the happiness it would give Angela. If you don't go for yourself, Go for them Bella."

She opened her office door to let me out into the hallway. Students were milling about avoiding going to their next class. Ms. White clasped my shoulder.

"We love you Bella, and your suffocating yourself. There's nothing for you here in Forks until you get better. We're afraid that you'll wake up one morning and not be able to breath."

As I pulled the truck into the driveway, I looked at the brochure. Somehow Ms. White had coerced me into taking one at the end of the day. The town was beautiful with pedestrian areas lined with old fashioned shops. The surrounding country was impossibly green and lush, but not in the alien Forks way. In the background, the mountain Ben Nevis sat majestic and sinister in the distance.

"I've always wanted to go to Scotland," I thought.

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A/N: Hey you! Thanks for reading. This chapter is kinda slow but believe me it WILL get better. You're just going to have to keep on reading! Ava-Night: your the only reason I wrote this chapter! Thanks so much for your positive feedback, you rock!

I hope the next chapters are entertaining, I have a few tricks up my sleeve ;)

xox

Elle