Thanks for the reviews, this is an old one, one of my favorites too.
Part 2
Pacey's POV
I try to concentrate while I drive through the busy streets of Chicago, a little bit anxious with this new start in my life. I had a perfect life in NY until 2 months ago. Two months, three days and twelve hours. My peaceful world had turned upside down, and I did what I do best: I ran away, in search of another fresh start. I'm really good at that.
The first time I did it was the summer after junior year in High School. I had a broken heart and when she couldn't chose between me and her self proclaimed soul mate, I made things easier. I sailed myself to the Florida Keys. Three months in the open water, my brother's words haunting me. Every time you look at the stars you will see her face. I still remember the lonely nights, her eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes in my dreams. I remember the feeling that she would never want to be with a well-known screw up like me. After three months of bitterness, I came back home, hiding my feelings, but every time I looked at her, oh, boy...Those damn butterflies almost making me sick. I decided I didn't want to be that loser, failure, screw up, every other kind adjectives that were usually associated with my name. I studied and studied. Stopped with my quick retorts. From class clown to a nerd. All I wanted was to be someone she could be proud of, regardless being with her or not. Someone that could be accepted.
When the answers to college applications arrived, ironically, the only place I really wanted to go, rejected me. I wanted to get BU, just to be near her, but I got a flat no. I took that as a sign that we weren't supposed to be together. That she was destined to be my dream girl. And then it happened.
We had a little gathering after graduation. I went to my boat, I was going to sail her for the last time before going to college...That boat had so many memories, she had helped me when I was fixing it and her name ended up being my happiness and my curse. True Love. I just had to leave it behind. I couldn't sleep, so I stayed outside, just looking the stars, my heart heavy, knowing that maybe that afternoon was the last time I would ever talk to her, when she approached. Her hair touched by the wind, a shy smile on her face. I thought it was a mirage, but when I took her hand in mine to help her to come aboard, I knew she was real. I still can't believe we never said a word. We just kissed, the kisses building a tension...we went below the deck, still kissing, every time more feverish, with a passion unknown to both of us. When I felt her hand undoing the buttons of my shirt, I looked at her, and she just nodded. We had established a silent form of communication, with touches and kisses and looks. And I made love to her. I remember my hands shaking, my legs trembling as I looked at her and at the beauty of the gift she was giving me, I would be her first lover, not Dawson. If I close my eyes, I can still see her face where I could read her feelings of pleasure, of sadness, of regret, of love. I remember sleeping beside her, I felt when she got up, I pretended to be asleep. I felt her fingers tracing my face, in a silent good- bye.
I ran away again. I was so scared of having my heart broken all over again, it had cost me a long time to heal, so I took the easiest path. I wrote her a letter, where I outpoured my heart, saying she would be always my dream girl. She still is.
In NY, I made a new life, no one knew my past, and I was scared of my future. I broke every link with my past, lost touch with my old friends, except Andie, not that I wanted to keep it, but God knows how much she must have annoyed Doug that he gave in, and I started getting emails once in a while. But I never asked her about Joey, I didn't want to bring reality to my sweetest dream. In my heart, she would always be that 17 year old girl with a lopsided smile that teased me merciless in every possible way, my partner in banter and my good mood pill. I had many women, other loves, but no one ever touched my heart the same way she had, until four years ago, when the part of my heart that still belonged to me was filled by the most pure and beautiful love, giving me the same damn butterflies she used to give me. I became a slave of a pair of bright blue eyes, and my future finally made sense. But two months ago my bubble of happiness blew out. Two months, three days and twelve hours.
The sound of sirens brings me back to the present. I had reached my destination, my new life. The County Hospital, where I transferred to start my second year as a resident doctor in Emergency. Let the games begin.