A/N: I just listened to 'Forgiven' which is a song about suicide and now a depressing plot bunny popped into my head, so I ceased my work on The Oracle to write it. I don't know what's up with me and doing this crap to Aang! I mean he is my lover. xD Also, as an update, The Oracle chapters will probably take much longer than my previous stories (i.e. weeks in some cases, such as chapter 3... which could be up to a month or two, yeah yeah yeah I know, don't hurt me!) because I'm trying to make it a fantastic read and if I pause longer I seem to get more reviews. ;) . If you read what's at the top of my profile page, that is another reason it'll take longer. But that just accounts for chapter 3, maybe 4. Thanks & err... don't ask where this came from. Don't forget to review. :)
Warning!: Beware Kataang fans. Beware Zutara fans. Beware shippers! Just... Beware and read and review your heart out. :3
P.S. I don't like Zutara, so don't hurt me 'cuz this isn't actually Zutara! /end long author's note
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters within it.
--
Under False Pretenses
The dining room was packed. Even more than usual for an occasion like this. It was always the war heroes and their friends, but this time it seemed like half the city was crammed into this one moderate sized room. It was the decade anniversary, the 10th year anniversary, the 10th year without Ozai; whatever they wanted to call it. But it was still over-crowded beyond belief.
Katara had just entered the room, her hair flowing down over her bare shoulders in her tube-top, deep magenta dress and the left side of her chocolate locks pushed back with a light pink, flowered hair comb. She wasn't wearing much makeup. She felt she didn't need to impress anyone since no one that was going to be there was anyone she, A: didn't know, or B: didn't care to meet.
As she made her way across the room, her blue orbs caught hold of her good friends. She strode up to them, hugging Toph, Suki and Zuko, adding a kiss to Zuko's cheek.
"You look beautiful," Zuko stated non-chalantly. His voice had little flattery in it. It sounded dull and dreary, like that was something he had to say or else... bad things would happen.
"Thanks. You too," Katara replied sarcastically, sparing him a roll of the eyes or a blush. He shrugged vaguely in return.
Sokka sighed loudly and over dramatically, tapping his foot on the stone floor.
"Let's just sit down. I hate these stupid anniversaries. Why do we even have to come?" Sokka pouted, crossing his arms and leading the group over to the tables. He sat down and pulled out a chair for both Suki and Toph. Suki because he was engaged to her and it was the manly thing to do, and Toph because... well she was his best friend after all. Zuko quickly mimicked Sokka by pulling a chair out for Katara.
After everyone was seated, it became unnervingly quiet.
Zuko sighed heavily and darted his eyes up and down the table. Suki, Toph, Sokka, Katara, Hakoda, Bato, some woman he didn't know, Ty Lee, Mai, a little girl talking to Mai, Smellerbee, Longshot, some man, Sneers, The Duke, and Pipsqueak.
He narrowed his eyes and stared at the table in concentration, trying to think if his next move would be worth it or not. He leaned over and rested his elbows on the table, digging his fingernails into his hand.
He finally decided to do what he was going to do. Zuko pulled his arms off the table and placed them into his lap, clumsily followed by him pushing his chair backwards a little and grabbing his glass and the nearest spoon. The Fire Lord stood and brought the spoon and glass together making a high clanking noise. He tapped four times.
"Could I please have everyone's attention?" he asked in direction to the table he sat at, but the entire room faced him with sublime curiosity.
All eyes were on him as he broke into a nervous sweat, wanting to go back in time a few minutes to take it all back. He breathed a quakey breath, but realized he couldn't go back now. He eyed everyone at his table frantically.
"You see," he said, coming to terms with himself and facing Katara with a bold look on his face, "I've known this girl for over eleven years now. We've only really been together for two, but I know in my heart I've loved her since we became good friends. She is a terrific person, kind, caring, beautiful, intelligent... and so much more... and I would like to spend the rest of my life with her." Zuko kneeled and faced Katara, taking her left hand into his own and kissing it softly. He removed something from his pocket. It was ember colored with a fire and water symbol. It resembled her mothers necklace so much, albeit the color and pattern was different. "Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, will you do the honor of being my wife?"
Katara didn't blush or smile or even speak. Her eyes began to fill with tears. Her face was beyond unreadable; it was uncomprehensible.
She softly pulled her hand away from Zuko's and pushed her chair far enough for her to leave the table, darting out of the room and into the back area that overlooked the ocean. Zuko watched her leave the room and go outside, agony in his eyes. He didn't really expect this. He didn't even expect a 'no'. The firebender truly thought in his heart that they would get married and be happy together. She seemed so happy with him...
Zuko stood up and hesitated, but then walked out to find Katara. Hakoda stopped him.
"I'm her father. Let me talk to her," he said, expressionless. Zuko shrugged but didn't move as the chief made his way out to find his daughter.
Katara was leaning on the edge of the balcony-like area, crying and heaving with each breath.
"Katara..." Hakoda soothed, but she shook her head.
"Bring Z-Zuko out here... I need to... to talk to him... Privately," she said through sobs, leaning her head back down on her arms.
He exited again and sighed at the Fire Lord.
"She wants you," he sighed. Zuko chuckled lowly and went into the area Hakoda just left from.
"Is there something wrong, Katara? I really thought... I'm sorry if this is too... fast," he tried to explain, putting a hand on her back after approaching.
She inhaled sharply at his touch and pulled his hand off of her.
"I... I can't marry you," she said, the words that escaped her stabbing Zuko in the chest.
"Why?" he inquired.
Katara's eyes shifted to the ground.
"I... I... Do you want to... to know the truth? The poor, sad truth?"
"Of course," Zuko replied, his brow wrinkling at her cryptic words.
There was a elongated pause.
"I don't love you."
Zuko's eyes widened and he almost choked on his breath.
"What?"
"I don't love you," she said, more casual this time. Like it was as simple as saying there was nice weather.
"Katara..." Zuko mumbled, his heart pounding.
"Do you want to know the honest truth?!" she asked harshly, sighing after she questioned him.
"I don't know..." he shook his head, "Yes."
"I love someone else."
His brow wrinkled again, and she took it as an invitation to continue.
"Zuko, you're nice. You're a great guy - really you are. And I hate having to hurt you like this, but... it would be more painful for the both of us if I don't tell you. I'm only allowing myself to have a boyfriend so my family and friends don't think I'm crazy- don't think I'm mental or something, because if it really comes down to it, I might as well be."
After she was finished with her rant, Zuko was still beyond confused.
"Katara, what are you talking about? You're not mental."
"That's where you're wrong, Zuko! I love someone who can't love me back, and I don't love someone who's trying his best in his ability to give his heart to me! I'm just... confused..."
There was a sigh from both of them.
"Tell me about it... but who do you... really... love?" Zuko asked, unsure of the question. Unsure of all of this.
She pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, feeling the tears rushing back again.
"I'd rather not say," she mumbled.
He sat beside her and stared at the waterbender before him with caring eyes.
"It's okay, Katara. Tell me. I'm not going to beat them up or anything," he chuckled lowly, trying to lighten her mood.
She simply shook her head.
"You couldn't if you tried."
"Why?" he asked, "Don't think I'm tough enough?"
Her tears came down faster and her sobs became deeper until she began to cry-hiccup.
"No. He's..." -there was a long pause accompanied by her crying- "Aang!" she spat into her knees.
Zuko still had no idea what she was talking about, but at the sound of that name, he instantly stiffened.
"Aang?" he asked skeptically.
Katara ceased her crying and looked at him, nodding slightly.
"I love him, Zuko. So, so much... I... I'm sorry."
"Aang?" he repeated, mostly to himself. "Our Aang? Avatar Aang?"
Katara gazed at him through watery red eyes and nodded again.
"Katara..."
He didn't know what to do; how to comfort her. He wrapped her into a hug, which was stange since she never let him touch her. He always thought it was something to do with the fact they weren't married. She'd never let him kiss her or touch her at all. Not even hold her hand. But this? This was the reason? Someone who can't even love her back...
"I love him," she repeated, pulling Zuko deeper into the hug. It didn't even feel the slightest bit intimate. He felt so stupid.
"He's... he's gone, Katara. I don't understand..."
"I love him and he can't love me back! It's like I'm stuck in a room with no windows, only a door and no key to get me out-"
"But what about the key to my heart, Katara?! I love you, why doesn't that matter?!"
She pulled away from him, a quaking frown on her lips, her eyes coated with lingering tears. She didn't even want to think about how cheezy that sounded. Especially from Zuko.
"It does, but I can't love you, Zuko."
"Why?!" he questioned, throwing his hands in the air, "He's gone!"
"I can't love you," she chanted once more.
"No, Katara! You won't love me! You refuse to and you won't let me in!"
She shook her head.
"I can't. I'm broken... I love him."
"He's gone!"
"I don't love you, I can't love you, I love him. I'll always love him," she continued to chant the painful things outloud.
Zuko stood up.
"HE'S DEAD!" he exclaimed, his voice bouncing off into the distance.
Katara's chanting stopped abruptly as she stared up at the angered Fire Lord before her. Her calmed eyes burst into tears again and her body began to shake uncontrollably. The waterbender's eyes shot open in shock at his words and she felt like she couldn't breath. She hated the truth. She hated it!
As Zuko realized what he did, he jumped to Katara's side again.
"I'm sorry, Katara... I... I-I..."
She shook her head.
"Not your fault..." she mumbled in an almost inaudible voice through her tears.
"C'mon. Let's go back inside. You don't have to marry me."
She looked up at him again, then at the moon.
"What about our 'relationship'?" Katara asked.
"Well, we don't want your parents to think you're mental, huh? Come on. It's okay."
Katara glared at the ground, and then stared Zuko straight in the eyes for the first time all night.
"You're a good friend, Zuko."
He sighed deeply.
"I know."
