Part 5 Don't Panic

She pushed through the doors of Clark's building and raced out into the street, frantically whipping her head from left to right to check the traffic yet knowing that she probably would not have stopped even if there was a car racing towards her. She had to get away. She had leave her best friend, the only person she knew could keep her from Lex. The betrayal choked her more than it ever had. It came rushing back to her that she had no one left.

iOh, we're sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
All those places we've gone,
All of us are done for. /i

He used to be the one man she could count on. The first night Lex left her alone, the night that she remembered the day her son was supposed to celebrate his first birthday, and Lex had to take a phone call that took him to a corner of the suite speaking in a hushed voice and throwing sideways glances at her, Chloe took her coat and walked out of the room. In the small café on the first floor, she met Clark and cried on his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do anymore," she remembered telling him.

He had tipped her chin up, and met her eyes intently. And then he told her, "You have a choice, Chloe. You only have to be brave enough to take that step away from him."

"He's hurting, Clark."

"And he'll hurt you more to feel better about himself. He doesn't know, Chloe. He doesn't pay attention," Clark had told her, and Chloe had recognized his words for the same truth had been trying to deny. "He's too immersed in his own world now." And then he had told her the one thing she feared, and the one thought that niggled in her head. "You can't save him anymore."

Chloe had placed her faith in Clark. He had contributed to her decision to leave her husband. And he had been harboring his own selfish reasons.

iWe live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world/i

And what terrified her even more was the memory of that kiss, when her eyes fluttered closed and for a few seconds, the tragedy of her life fell away.

And again she was Chloe Sullivan, sixteen and full of anticipation, hopelessly infatuated with the naïve handsome boy who had a hero complex. And again she was a wallflower drawn to the dance floor by the boy she had been waiting so long for.

iOh, we're sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
All those places we've gone,
All of us are done for. /i

She couldn't believe Clark betrayed her that way, to awaken feelings she'd buried so deep she had fooled herself that they were forgotten. And he had done so in the midst of her crisis.

iWe live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world. /i

She ran across the street and drew her cloak around her. She had nowhere to go. She could try her apartment again, but she was unwilling to face Lex, either as Lois being blamed for her cousin's death or as herself, facing the man who killed every fiber of her being during a time she had believed herself to love him with her whole being.

"Lois."

She froze in her tracks. Right in front of her, darkened by the shadows of the building, stood the man she would rather burn for than confront. In many aspects, she did burn in her effort to avoid him. Chloe was gone, to him she was no more than ashes blown by the wind.

He stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the streetlamp.

And he was resplendent still, the way he had been on the day that he knelt on one knee and promised her a future.

iOh, all that I know,
There's nothing here to run from,
And there, everybody here's got somebody to lean on./i

His eyes were dead, and they rocked her to the very core.

Lex's eyes, intelligent and vibrant, scheming and cunning, good or evil, they had always been full of life. Lex's beautiful eyes were dull, almost throbbing with welling tears she knew he would never ever shed.

Certainly not in front of Lois Lane.

Lex Luthor had left Lois' apartment building and stepped into the elevator. Down. He was going to be in descent forever. He stepped outside and saw his car. As soon as his driver opened the door, he waved him away.

Lex had no knowledge of how long or how far he walked. And it was then that he saw her, a brunette streaking across the street.

"Lois."

She stopped and regarded him in the darkness, and he could hear the thunderous beating of her heart. He stepped out of the darkness and they regarded each other.

"How long are you going to hide from me?" he rasped.

She closed her eyes and let his voice wash over her. It was the first time she heard him speak to her without the hatred. He seemed too exhausted to burn his energy with hatred.

She relished that.

"I'm not hiding," she managed.

The moment the words left her mouth, she turned around stiffly and began to walk away. Her stiff walk turned into a jog, then a run.

"Lois," he called.

The voice was still soft, too soft to be from someone evil. She took bigger steps. It was then that she caught her shoe in a grill vent on the street and she stumbled, then skidded.

Not a minute passed when a hand closed around her elbow and was pulling her up.

"Get away from me, Lex!"

He stared down at her, his fists clenching, watching her.

She swallowed. She had known for a long time before she left what Lex was capable of.

He grasped her upper arms and dragged her towards the street. His car stopped in front of them and he pushed her in. "I need to know everything that happened."

She regarded him in surprise.

"You have Chloe's eyes." Lex looked away.

She pleaded with him, "We should just move on."

Lex shook his head. "You're not safe in your apartment. You're staying with me."

"You hate me."

His lips curled. "I don't deny that. But Chloe always told me that it's family first. No matter what. I'm responsible for you whether I want to be or not."

"You remember all that?"

"I remember every second with her."

Lois shook her head. "She left you. You don't owe her anything."

Lex leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "After what you've done to her, I'd never expect you to understand Chloe's idea of a family."

iOh, all that I know,
There's nothing here to run from,
And there, everybody here's got somebody to lean on./i

tbc