Otaku Frenzy Hogwarts: This fanfic is really a bunch of interconnected oneshots put together as the summary says. There's not exactly a plot between the chapters despite them all being related. Anyway, there is no need to read these in order. So choose what you will and read it. (We do recommend reading this in order though. :P )

Summary: Harry and Draco go on a "quest" to buy manga. Will they be able to with a Draco who is constantly nagging about stupid muggles and counterfeit pounds?

Purchasing Happiness

"You can't buy happiness with money." They say you can't, but we certainly have as manga-consumers. But what's more, Harry and Draco felt they could as well. They were quite sure of it. Unfortunately, the two were missing the one thing that could actually help them buy their happiness. Muggle money. Alas, they could not purchase their one true joy in life: manga.

It was a chilly autumn day; the wind blew gently scattering the collage of fallen leaves. Crisp leaves on the sidewalk made brusque crunching noises as the two boys marched around the streets of London on their quest to unearth the Holy Grail of Otakus.

"Brrr…it's cold," shivered Harry. "Where's the Borders you couldn't stop repetitively jabbering about back at the dorms, Malfoy?"

Malfoy shrugged as if he wasn't agitated at this extremely valid question and carefully strode pass the piles of leaves. Without glancing back, he haughtily replied, "That's not the point. Before that, we need mudblood pounds. Seems it's not to be found easily." Last time, the ones Father transfigured from parchment just weren't as real as the original things. They weren't accepted, and Father wouldn't be bothered to help again. Bet the Potter boy is relishing my failure. Can't they just hand some of those pieces of paper? They're quite simply thin bleached slices of trees. Worth nothing. Can't they understand our need…?? No! I mean my need, MY NEED for some.

"Muggles, Malfoy. They're called muggles."

Hmph, he can never shut his trap, harrumphed Malfoy who lo and behold for the first time in the eyes of the public was appearing flustered. Neither fool 's gold nor counterfeit notes worked with those blockhead counter clerks who are no better than fools. "Muggles, mudbloods, whatever! We need mudblood money to buy manga in that store full of ingenious drawings." Malfoy came to a sudden standstill, and in a moment of pure brilliance, he invented a plan. The aristocratic blond held a smug face. Turning around, he paused and examined Harry. A studious ambiance hung in the air as Draco's eyes scrutinized his companion's expression. Spontaneously, Malfoy spoke out, "Harry, go beg."

"Beg?? Are you joking, Malfoy? I will not bring myself down to such depths."

"First. You are the Boy Who Lived. You," he pointed at Harry, "can live through anything. Didn't you say so yourself? Second. You know those filthy muggles better than I do. Third. But weren't you like totally dying for the next volume of Naruto?? And fourthly, I am Draco Malfoy. Malfoys do not beg."

Like a person staring blankly into space waiting for the rest of their mind to catch on, Harry suddenly jumped up into the high skies for joy. Oh yes! Of course! Harry was an absolute fan. There was no question about that. He reenacted all the battle scenes and figured out how to do the perfect Naruto pose for Naruto's Sexy Jutsu. "Of course. The outcome of Gaara's and Sasuke's and of Orochimaru's and Third Hokage's battles against each other!" Harry posed in an abridged version of his favorite jutsu as his inner voice yelled, Hell yes!! Dattebayo! Believe it! No question about that.

"Good. So go beg," smirked Malfoy.

It stumped Harry. What? Why me? The git desired it all along. I must never accept. "No."

"Go beg."

"Never!" Harry's eyes slanted. His eyebrows furled.

Regrettably, Malfoy seemed then to have a higher EQ than the other unfortunate mammal blocking his vision who was being an absolutely hideous nuisance. Malfoy was intelligent enough in comparison to the many mammals of our world to actually understand the word attraction. Especially in this case the "Fangirl Pout", a specially personalized puppy-eye look that is perfect when one wants to look pretty and innocent so much so that they could never be rejected.

Thus did the blond boy clasp his two hands together and Fangirl Pouted with pathetic sweetness adding an extra 'kawaii' smile to perfect the spectacle, "Onegai-Naruto??" Now, as a reader, as this was what Harry saw, imagine a border of roses and nice warm spotlight… Ahh…the refreshing beauty…

Harry stopped dead. He was in deep contemplation. He felt the warmth of love. No! The heat. The redness. The aroma of sweet roses. It's too much. No, it is out of this world!! Abruptly, unable too stand it any longer, Harry broke out, "Hoi! Hoi!" He plastered a corny smile onto his face and ran off to beg for some pounds. The adrenaline that had momentarily rushed through him had been too much to bear at that moment. It was time to illegally Accio British Pounds… (1)

Harry hastily returned, and immediately, the two without further ado raced across Trafalgar square searching for Borders, one of the few manga havens in London. And then that was when the dilemma started.

Malfoy had to have the next volume of Ouran High School Host Club. It was THE COOLEST. It schooled all shounen manga. It schooled mecha. It schooled because there were the hottest seven guys ever to be found in mangaland in Ouran. Especially Honey-senpai and his bunny! (Of course, Tamaki received his admiration for his gregariousness, multitalent-ness, affluence, great judgment in the arts including looks, and most of all womanizing power. HAH! Bet you never knew that…) Even better, Ouran had the smexiest looking guys ever with the most important thing in Malfoy's lexicon, a good taste for attire.

On the other hand, Harry had to have the next volume of Naruto. He believed it was the THE BEST. Naruto's Gary Stus stewed all. Naruto's Mary Sues sued all. Moreover, it schooled because there was an awesome ninja called Lee, Harry's ultimate idol. Lee was a fortunate guy without a scar. Harry was of course naturally jealous of Lee and his eternal youth. Besides, Lee had the ultimate weapon that all males would die for, the ability to overpower hate. Yes! Lee had the eyebrow, the eyelashes, the eye, and everything going on. Who could possibly have a grudge against that teen? I mean seriously.

Exuberance inundated the manga-ish air when they cuddled the manga volumes that they longed for and cradled them back and forth in their arms. Malfoy constantly snogged the front cover of Ouran of Tamaki and Kyouya. Harry licked his lips in lust, ever so savoring the pictures of Lee's artistic and bold eyebrows.

But alas, there was barely enough money for them to afford for one volume. One had to suffer and live without their daylight, and neither was willing to sacrifice. So it was decided by the one muggle game Draco and Harry actually knew.

Jan-ken-pon.

Exactly! A reenactment of Kakashi and Guy-sensei. Harry pumped himself up while Draco coolly reread the ninth volume of Ouran. Bouncing up and down as if he was about to go boxing, Harry prepared himself by making fists and tucking his arms in a prep-Thai boxing-punching-position. On Harry's right, Malfoy simply kept on reading and savoring the company of his beloved 'Oto-san', Tamaki.

It was the final moment of truth. Suspense. Spotlight. Drumroll.

First round. Gong! And it had begun. Harry intensely whispered, "Jan-ken-pon!"

It was a tie of both rocks. They tried again.

Round two. Gong! A tie of paper.

Round Three. Gong! A tie of scissors.

Round four. Once again, Harry whispered, "Jan-ken-pon!" As he did so, he bounced up and down again. As soon as he formed the word 'pon' on his lips, Harry threw his fist down in between him and Malfoy with all his might. And there it was, the conclusion. A decided winner of the day. Rock versus paper.

In the end, to the great disappointment of poor Harry, Draco had outwit the Potter boy, won rock-paper-and-scissors, and bought his true happiness with a little help from Lil' Potty's "begging skills". And well, Harry? That was when he started turning into a teenager filled with angst; that was also when he bawled and sobbed in his little dark corner, the beginning symptoms of an emo filled with anguish.

THE END

(1) Kudos to you and your belief in Harry being innocent that time during his summer before the second year of Hogwarts for using underage wizardry, but this was actually what caused him to receive a letter from the Ministry of Magic. Phew! That was a long sentence.