Part 12 Yellow

He awoke with her in his arms still, and she was familiar. His arm wrapped around her waist, with his face buried in her hair, and he could almost pretend that she was who she should have been. It was so easy to get lost in her warmth, and he could begin his life again. Every woman's body was no different than the next right? How easy would it be, he wondered, to imagine another woman's face when he said 'I love you?'

His eyes drifted closed, and he held on to her, breathed in the scent of her hair and listened to the world around him.

"Lex, are you awake?" she said softly, her voice tickling his chest.

His breath hitched, because in his imagination he had transformed even her voice. 'Chloe,' brushed by in his mind's voice. His eyebrows furrowed. His will had overcome his senses, and he could so happily fool his brain. He did not move, savoring that elusive moment when he was with her again, even if it was all make-believe.

[iLook at the stars,Look how they shine for you,And everything you doYeah, they were all yellow.[/i

He felt her sigh against his body. He expected her to rise, extricate herself—maybe walk away to the bedroom and throw up in the toilet bowl. Instead, he felt her arms wrap even more tightly around him. He felt her burrow deeper into him and brush and butterfly kiss against his skin, right by his heart.

He tensed at the movement, and then he felt a small pool of warm liquid gather against his skin. He heard the muffled sound of a sniffle. He remained still.

It took a few minutes, but then she hastily stood up, leaving him colder than he had been in that momentary stolen embrace. She did not look back at him. For all she knew, he was asleep still. Lex watched as she threw the dress on and run to the stairs. He sat up and stared at the empty door.

He stood slowly and gathered his discarded clothes. His movements were numbered as he dressed and proceeded to toast some bread and prepare coffee. He poured a cup and stood there, sipping the hot liquid.

[iI came along,I wrote a song for you,And all the things you do,And it was called "Yellow."[/i

And then she walked in, freshly showered and wearing office clothes. She met his eyes with no expression. He turned and poured a cup for her, then handed it over.

"Thanks," she replied tersely. She lifted it up to sip, and then frowned. She looked up towards the cupboards. Lex lifted his hand, and then pushed a small saucer towards her. There was one cube of sugar. Slowly, her gaze lifted towards him. He met her stare, and she swallowed. She reached for the saucer, then pushed it away.

Lex shook his head. "Take it." He dropped the cube into her cup, then stirred. "I'm sure you take it like this."

"Thank you," she whispered.[iSo then I took my turn,Oh what a thing took done,And it was all yellow.[/i

His mind raced, wanting to do so much, yet at the same time wanting to remain there, sweeping her entire body with his eyes, looking at each shadow on her face. Lex picked up his coffee cup and sat right across from her at the table.

And that moment was heaven.

He stared at her lips, devoid of lipstick, and how the coffee clung to those lips like dark dew. She bit her bottom lip, and they were redder than he remembered, but not as red as the night before when he fed on them like berries.

She took a deep breath, and his eyes drifted down to her chest, full and lovely, but less than what they were when he ran his tongue over them.

Last night and all the other nights before.

[iYour skinOh yeah, your skin and bones,Turned into something beautiful,You know I love you so.[/i

She placed down her cup, and she looked up into his unwavering gaze. She said, "I have to go."

His nod was sharp. "I know."

She picked up her bag from the table and left. Lex closed his eyes when the door slammed shut.

She had to go.

Chloe closed the door behind her and leaned back, then let out the deep breath she had been keeping in. The air left her body in an audible sob. She bent her head back and stared at the white lights on the corridor ceiling. All she could see now were spots of hazy white where the lights used to be.

She had to go.

There was no doubt about it, in her mind or his. The tears flowed freely and she sobbed until her body was racked with the emotion.

She could not have come at all, not have stepped in his house, not have returned to the same state. She learned early in life that she did not deserve the life she had fooled herself into believing she could still have.[iI swam across,I jumped across for you,Oh what a thing to do.Cuz you were all yellow,[/i

Chloe took a deep, cleansing breath, hugged her bag to her body, then entered the elevator. She hailed a cab and rested her head back.

The brick houses and condominiums flew by. Her cab stopped in the newspaper office building. Chloe got off and proceeded to her floor. She knocked on Perry's door.

When the editor saw her, he waved her inside. She turned to him and saw the intent look in his face.

"You have to go," he read.

Chloe nodded. "I couldn't without telling you." He smiled sadly. "I'm so ashamed. You gave me a change that other journalists would kill for, and I'm gonna blow it away."

He shook his head. "It's not yet done, Lane." He winked. "I knew a guy who upped and left at the height of his infamy, found himself, then came back and settled into a comfortable desk job."

That drew a reluctant smile from her. She remembered meeting him when she was a child and he was lost. "So you think I just have to find myself."

"I know you have to find yourself." Perry leaned back in his chair. "Now I'm not going to hold your desk," he told her. "Overhead and all."

She nodded. "Of course."

"But you're always going to be welcome, Lane."

She left Perry's office with her heart a little lighter. Chloe went over to her desk and sat down. Chloe looked around her and took in the bustling newsroom. The mailroom attendant pushed a cart of packages around the office. Jimmy Olsen came running in with two photographs in hand, looking very anxious to display them in front of the chief. He saw her looking, and he broke into an infatuated grin then waved at her. He always had a thing for her, she thought—whatever her face had. She waved back and watched him knock on the chief's door.

When she turned, she saw an fresh new intern come in with her head held high and her notebook in hand. How long had it been when she herself came in the same way.

Once upon a time, this had been her dream. She had put everyone in her life on the sidelines to pursue the career. Over time, she lived very different lives and this remained a constant. Now it was time to give it up.

She opened the drawer and picked up her passport.

"Perry says you're leaving."

[iI drew a line,I drew a line for you,Oh what a thing to do,And it was all yellow.[/iChloe looked up to see Clark Kent standing in front of her. "You can celebrate on your own time," she retorted.

Clark shook his head. "Do I look like I'm celebrating?"

"Then why are you here?"

He sat down in front of her and shook his head. "I don't understand why you're so against me." And then he gave a self-deprecating chuckle. "Alright I do. I did tell you that you killed your cousin." Chloe watched the play of emotions on his face. "Would it help if I apologized and told me you that every action, every word, every glare—"

"Was because of Chloe?" she continued.

"No," he answered. "They were all me," he admitted. "But I was in mourning. I could have saved her, but I was too hurt to come for her myself."

[iFor you I'd bleed myself dry.[/i

"I was so in love." He smiled. "And I still believe she was going to come back to me if she hadn't died."

Chloe looked at Clark, suddenly with eyes that were uncertain. "Didn't she make it clear that she didn't love you?"

"When you're in love…" his voice trailed off. "I think I'm going to have to start falling out."

[iLook at the stars;Look how they shine for you,And all the things that you do.[/i

Chloe stood up and walked around the desk. She stood on tiptoes and gave Clark a hug. "I guess it was a possibility. She always did think highly of you."

"Hey I needed that. Thanks, Lois. Stay safe."

"I will. And I'm sure I can always call you when I need you."

"Always."

[iAnd they were all yellow…[/i

Two nights passed and an ocean between them, she was yet again another woman, another name. She wrapped the shawl even tighter around her body and quickened her pace. Streets at night, as peaceful as they were, hid dangers in every corner. One man had tried to kill her on the street once; it would not happen again. She had to be vigilant. There was no one else she could count on. Not anymore.

Chloe had to learn to live her life alone.

It was small payment for stealing another person's life.

tbc