Chapter 3
Disclaimer: I do not own House. No money being made.
He dreams
…Dreams of past lovers embracing him caring for him…loved me for who I was not for who I would become….
He dreamt of a father drowning his own sorrows into his son's veins like ice water…He shivered at the memory.
The dreams were fragmented and torturous…deserving….he gave into them all accepting his fate….I cannot control this…cannot control anything anymore….where is the meaning?
Pain shot through his leg causing even his subconscious to gasp in agony. Vicodin was my salvation once…now….
House slowly opened his eyes. Sweat poured down into his eyes….stinging…aching….
He reached out one hand to the clock that rested on his nightstand. Time says 2 am. Time… time….too much time….not enough to pass me by….
House rolled over onto his back, sighing as he gazed toward the ceiling one arm behind his head. Sleep would not be coming easily to him anytime soon. With strangled breaths and a feeble sweep of the legs, House's feet landed with a gentle thud on his bedroom floor. Reaching out blindly, he began to follow the faint light that he could see coming from the living room. Cuddy…
House limped each step… each step….closer to her. He felt the pounding out of chest as he rubbed a hand over his weakened heart. Cuddy…
He sat down next to her on the couch. Simply sitting…taking in her beauty sleeping ….life….life in my sanctuary…how long has it been since life was here? How long since I took notice?
House reached out a tentative hand to brush a strain of dark hair away from her eyes. Flashbacks of fateful visions…nightmares….reminded him of reality… She murmured, trembled and seemed at peace. Peace I am envy of…
House continued to stroke her cheek. I can't do this…I can't wake her….He released the realization he had been holding…like the spare coin in my back pocket of abandoned dreams….
He resigned to holding her hand as he slept by her side.
Cuddy awoke to a soft squeeze of folded flesh…hand in hand…
She sat up not relinquishing her hold on House. I could stay like this forever….but forever has to end. She looked at her watch. Today is the day. Reality and illusion make their stand.
House stirred sensing the coming of the fall. A violent fall trembling….taking me….
He opened his eyes and looked to Cuddy. Waiting…
"Today's the funeral."
House wished, would have sold his soul …if I still had one…for it to have passed him by…another nightmare to kiss me goodnight.
Cuddy waited. Silence.
"I think you should go."
Nothing. Nothing to say.
House released Cuddy's hand. At that admission, Cuddy allowed a single tear to fall.
"I'll go alone."
Alone…
Can't be alone…need her…
"Wait."
One word…House disappeared to get ready to face his demons.
House wished he knew how he got to the Church. He wasn't sure if it was the skull fracture or the brain's shut down of painful reality that caused him to be blank, but whatever the case may be, it was what it was.
The church itself was a massive design of sinners and saints intertwined…much like life….
The saints were the redeemers of the darkness that were concocted in the sliver of brightly colored windows. Glass so fragile yet its strength is what binds this church together…
"House?"
Cuddy nodded. He knew that she wanted to go up to the front to see Wilson. He tried to follow, stumbling along the way.
Wilson knelt in the wooden pew. His body ached, his soul was dead. He had lost everything that made his life meaningful and memorable. I have no memories of this life to keep….
He felt a presence invading his grief. He looked up into kind face of an old friend.
"Cuddy."
He reached into her warm embrace. Never let go…
"Thank you for coming."
Cuddy smiled…so sad… "I'm not alone."
Wilson's face fell as he noticed House not too far behind. "Why did you bring him?"
Cuddy felt like an invader. She dropped her eyes to the tile floor. "I thought it would be good for …"
"Who, for him? It's certainly not good for me." He took a shaking hand to cover his eyes. Damn her…
"Go."
Cuddy released her unshed tears. "Wilson…"
Wilson met her eyes and repeated. "Go." He looked to House whose blue stood unwavering…begging for forgiveness… "It's clear you made your choice."
"It's not about…."
Wilson closed his eyes and turned to leave. Cuddy bit her lip and finding herself staring in lost blue eyes.
It's not fair. House wished. Cuddy took his arm as he gazed into her soft features. You've made your choice Wilson said….He looked to her bare hand. Even though you've lost your wedding ring….
What do you think? I hope not too sappy or anything since it happens in their heads who knows what they are thinking right? The last line was also from Passing Afternoon by Iron and Wine. I noticed in the last scene where Cuddy was sleeping next to House that line is being played. It is almost as if they are married sometimes…anyway just an observation. Love to know your thoughts. Please review? Please??