Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Disclaimer: I do not own House.
It has been 5 days since the funeral…
House was alone again. Cuddy had begun to go back to work starting the day after the funeral much to her own dismay. House insisted that he could do simple things for himself like make a sandwich and go to the bathroom. Cuddy felt her heartstrings constrict…he doesn't want me anymore…
House nudged her out the door firmly but gently reassuring her he wasn't
going anywhere. That was what bothered her the most.
Here he was again sitting on the floor of his apartment staring numbly at the wall. This is what he had been doing for the past several days whenever Cuddy would leave. There were times he thought he heard her talking to him but realized he was hallucinating. Don't tell Cuddy…
Today was no different. The throbbing in his thigh had returned in full force. The epiphany of the concoctions coursing through his body had finally departed leaving him breathless and in agony. Yet….yet he refused medications. He was slowly detoxing. Maybe Cuddy would notice soon. He prayed she wouldn't. A few more days of unbearable agony would ease the gaping hole of guilt in his heart. He closed his blue eyes as sweat poured down his features. He gripped his leg rubbing it in circles concentrating on the pain. Vicodin is my curse….I need my pain….
Between the struggles for air and his slowing heartbeat, House opened one eye to see his surroundings. Before him was a bottle of Jack Daniels. House hadn't had a drink since the day of the accident and Cuddy doesn't drink it…. House picked it up. Brand new….still sealed….pure…..sweet….His hand gripped the bottle tighter before swinging it as hard as he could and watched it shatter against the wall. The sight of flying glass pleased House's eyes. He looked again to the coffee table only to see another bottle in its place. With a greater force he threw it till it joined its brethren. Bottle after bottle made their way to the wall till the overwhelming stench of alcohol dulled his senses and tightened his chest. A mess…Cuddy…
House did his best to stagger toward the disaster he had created but to no avail. The glass was gone leaving only the aroma of Jack lingering. House began to dig his fingernails into the wood floor trying desperately to find the glass and cover his sin. It lingers on as my fingers bleed…
Lost in his own world, House didn't hear the door open.
"Hey, I thought I would take a half day since…"
Cuddy looked around the floor till she heard scratching. "House?"
"I'm sorry…I'll get it just give me a minute…"
Cuddy looked down at her charge. He was prostrate to the floor. What is he clawing at?
"House stop."
He refused. Cuddy pulled his hands toward her as his body heaved to the floor. His nails were covered in blood and his body glistened in sweat.
"Oh my God…"
House looked into her eyes. So disappointed in me again…
"I didn't want to drink them. That's why I threw them but…you would have …the glass…"
He was making no sense. Cuddy glanced around the room. The first thing she had done was dispose of the alcohol over a week ago. The bottles House was seeing were in his head. Hallucinations are back…
"House, there is no alcohol. It was a hallucination."
House refused to accept it. "No, it was so…"
"Real?"
Cuddy bit her lower lip as tears flowed from her eyes.
"Yeah, I know." She took in his face, drawn, tired, detoxing… "Come here."
House sat up and allowed himself to fall into her welcoming embrace. God her arms feel so good. Is she real?
He closed his eyes and took in her scent. I hope she is…
Cuddy continued to hold onto him. House….
She stroked his back until she felt arms return the embrace.
The two rocked back and forth on the ground. Cuddy couldn't hold back her tears. She sobbed with him and for him. House was gone. This man was a shell of House, blue eyes and all. We need to get him back.
Cuddy pulled away. "When was the last time you had a Vicodin?" House shook his head. "No, pills."
Cuddy frowned. "You're in pain. Since when don't you want pills?" Then flashes of realization came…the accident…his leg, pills alcohol…too drunk…pain caused death…
"If you want to kill yourself then you will have to do it on your time, not mine." She wiped tears from her eyes…firm but necessary.
"I am taking you somewhere today and for that you need your medicine and this." She produced his cane. House didn't realize it was behind her back. He glared at it. He hadn't touched it since he realized that was the reason, the purpose…Amber…
House grabbed the cane from her hand throwing it against the wall. A wooden rod in my gilded cage…
"No." He spat the word out. Cuddy wasn't backing down.
"You need this. Besides I'm not always going to be there." House met her blue eyes. She doesn't want me anymore…
"Fine. I'll be fine on my own."
Cuddy's jaw dropped. "That's not what I meant… I meant….you need to get back some kind of normalcy. "
House laughed out loud. It was a cold laugh….empty. "Normal? Oh yeah, popping Vicodin like tic-tacs is normal for me I guess…"
Cuddy grabbed hold of his arms. House froze. She slipped two white pills into hand. "Take them. We're going out."
House refused to look away. The power play is at hand…
He dry swallowed the pills letting his hand linger over his mouth as the sweetness traveled down to his toes. He closed his eyes and allowed the tingling to embrace him. He barely registered Cuddy's hand on his cheek at first, but felt his lips tug at the corners in defeat. I am weak…
She smiled taking his compliance as a good thing. Today is the day we try to get Gregory House back….
Hope you liked. Sorry I not get to post sooner. A lot going on this weekend! Anyone want to guess where the two will be going? Reviews please??