Chapter Five: Pain
I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.
"Jury," The judge said. "Have you reached a verdict?"
"Yes, we have your honor." Juror number one said. "In all charges we find the defendant guilty."
"Thank you..." the judge went through his obligatory remarks. I hugged Sunday, my dad, Lily and Jackson. Jake nodded at me, put on his hat and sunglasses, then slowly turned and left the courthouse. A single tear rolled down my face. I missed him so much, but I had broken up with him. Jake and Miley were no more.
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A week passed after the trial. Matt was in jail for at least 15 years. Jake and I weren't talking and, on that Tuesday, my family had an intervention for me. The thing is, as Lily and I learned from all our reading, most cutters don't realize that they are cutters. Most of them... us... don't want help. They just want to keep going about with their business. I wanted things to change. I wasn't happy, as much as I said I was.
"Miley," my dad said as he sat me on the couch. "All of us, Lily, Jackson, Oliver, and myself. We're here because we care about you... not to make you feel bad. We think you have a problem."
"I do, Daddy. And I want to fix it." I said.
"Good," he said, handing me some pamphlets. "We've found some treatment options."
My dad and I decided on a two month center for kids who were depressed, self-destructive, and had eating disorders. It was located in norther California, so I'd had to leave Malibu. I knew that I'd learn a lot of things there. Things about closure, and relationships, and how to deal with stress. To get closure, I knew I'd have to talk to Jake. But that might be harder than the actual treatment.
I saw Jake everyday at school, but I hadn't talked to him since before the trial. He was sitting alone at lunch and in class a lot lately. People would sit with him, but he'd move. He was as miserable as I was. I sat with him one day at lunch.
"Hey, Jake." I said, quietly as he looked up.
"Oh, hi Miley. What's up." His voice was sad.
"I'm going away for a while, up north."
"For a Hannah thing?"
"No. For a Miley thing. Look, Jake, I'm trying to make things right with you... with everything. I've missed you, but I'm not sure how I feel about you."
"I thought I knew how I felt about you." He said, then looked into my eyes. "But now I guess I don't know either."
"Well, while I'm gone, I'm going to try to figure it out. Can you think about it too?"
"That's all I've been thinking about. Can I call you while you're gone? Or write?"
"I don't think that's a good idea." I said. "I'm going to a treatment center. I've been hurting myself. I'm not supposed to talk to anyone from here while I'm there. At least, not for the first month."
"Oh." he said.
"Just think about everything, Jake. Okay?"
"Yeah." I got up to leave. "Hey, Miley. I missed you too."
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Soundtrack:
Pain by Jimmy Eat World
Sorry it's so short. But, I need feedback on this question:
Do you want to read about Miley at the treatment center or just the aftermath?
Tell me what you think about that. Thanks for the reviews, guys. I'm sure all of you knew the verdict. I just had to leave you hanging.