Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own House.

Beep….beep…beep…

House opened one eye first cautiously taking in his surroundings before opening the other. Damn it! Why am I here again? Memories began to flood back into his mind…Cuddy's office…Amber…telling me…? What? Do I like Cuddy? No great wisdom just…do I like Cuddy. House swallowed. Maybe there was enough wisdom in knowing that fact alone.

He looked at his surroundings. He had no concept of time since there were no clocks near his line of vision. He sighed as he opened and closed his hand into a fist taking in the time and emptiness it held. It was the first time his hand had felt cold since all of this began. He was totally alone.

Cuddy sighed for the umpteenth time as she found herself mindlessly looking over files. I don't even know what I'm seeing at this point.

She sighed and rubbed her hand to her eyes. I have not been focused on this…any of this since…flashes of House falling to the floor in her office as she kept calling his name. He was mumbling and incoherent until she heard one word whispered: Amber.

Cuddy picked up her pen and threw it against the wall. Out of character…but there is no one to yell out….I need a release…time to think…

A soft knock on the door broke her out of her trance. It opened slowly. Wilson entered with a grim look.

Cuddy didn't know what to say. She had completely forgotten that he had returned to work at all. Last time she had seen Wilson it didn't go over too well. He was clean shaven and his hair was cut. He had the look of someone who was at least trying….hiding…but trying.

"Hey." She whispered.

"Hey."

"Can I help you?"

Wilson sighed. He ran his hand over the back of his neck trying to release the tension too…no one to battle with even though the tension is almost always caused by him.

"The board is meeting today."

Cuddy looked at her watch as she felt the panic rise. "Today? I …wasn't informed…when?"

Wilson held up his hand to stop her.

"They are meeting to see if you should resign from your post as Administrator."

Cuddy stood up even though her knees felt like crumbling from the weight of this knowledge.

"What?"

Wilson continued." You haven't been …here lately. Not just physically but mentally. Things are getting by you…"

"Like what?"

Wilson shook his head. "Doesn't matter. The point is they have. We're losing you." He paused as he took a deep breath.

"We're losing you to him."

Cuddy averted her gaze. She nodded.

"I know."

Wilson sat down on the couch as he took in her confession. "Why? What has he ever done for you that would warrant this? He mocks you on every occasion…hell….it isn't like he's very demonstrative in any aspect…"

Cuddy's faced turned crimson. "That's none of your business."

Wilson looked straight into her eyes. "My God. You've slept with him haven't you?"

She ran her hands along the desk walking over the welcoming couch near Wilson. "Not recently. Once, a long time ago."

Wilson nodded. "I should've known. No one would put up with his crap except me."

He paused, licking his lips as the tears welled in his eyes. "Why him? Why House?"

He says it with such honesty.

Cuddy reached out and took Wilson's hand. "Because he is House."

After gathering his clothes and signing himself out against medical orders House found himself heading toward the exit.

"Hey!"

House stopped closing his eyes. "Here we go…" he muttered.

"Where are you going?"

"The hospital was short on hookers who make house calls so I had to find my action elsewhere."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "You are not going home alone."

House smirked. "Finally up to the challenge eh?"

Cameron gave a disgusted look. Or pretended too…

"Ew, no. Chase will drive you."

House rolled his eyes. "Oh God not Chase, please anyone but him!"

Cameron smirked. "Fine, I'll get Wilson." House perked up. "Hey, you know what. Chase will do just fine. "

Cameron smiled. "I thought so."

Chase gripped the steering wheel tightly squirming uncomfortably in his set beside House. Why do I let Cameron talk me into doing things…?

"How are you feeling?"

House leaned his head against the glass and continued to look outside.

"Sorry dumb question. Do I look like I feel fine?"

House tilted his head to look at Chase. "That is the worst imitation of me ever."

Chase smiled. At least he's talking….

"So did you sign out AMA?"

House wined. "Don't tell mom on me OK? I'm not up to a spanking just yet."

Chase grinned. "I'm sure Cuddy is just worried about you."

House snorted. Yeah that must be it.

"You don't think she likes you?"

House turned to face Chase. "No, but it is interesting that you thinks she does."

Chase chuckled. "Yeah, right. Why else would she let you get away with so much..."

"I'm a great doctor." I asked that one to her once before.

"Hmmm. Well, then why would she risk her job for you?"

That was new. "What?"

Chase realized House had no clue about the board meeting.

"The board…they're meeting today to see if Cuddy should stay or go." House's eyes narrowed.

"The past few weeks she hasn't been …there…" House closed his eyes. Because she was with me…

"I know." Chase didn't want to make House feel badly, but then again…

"She has sacrificed a lot for you too." House thought of her…Wilson…himself…

"I know."

The rest of the ride was in silence each member contemplating his own actions and the consequences that would come from them.

House lay down stretched out completely on his couch. While he missed the warmth of Cuddy's home, he missed his own a bit more than he realized. The couch felt familiar to him. It had seen its share of violence and drug induced states to know what made him feel ….safe.

As House closed his eyes preparing to sleep, he heard a knock on the door. His watch told him it was close to 9PM. Sighing, he got up and took a peek.

Damn it, Cuddy…

He didn't say a word preparing himself for the reaming but nothing came. Cuddy stood before him a tear streaked mess of tousled hair and clothes. House frowned attempting to push the concern from his face. He was about to speak when he heard her voice defeated…..so lost.

"They suspended me for a week. Kallum from Princeton General will be taking over. Damn him…he's been waiting for me to screw up and finally…."

She refused to cry anymore in front of House. She lowered her head. "Are you Ok? No one checked you out."

House grunted. Her world falling apart and she still cares about me? Cares about me…. "You weren't there. Don't like anyone touching me but you, you know?"

Cuddy pushed him, suddenly and sharply, stealing his breath for a moment from the force.

"You have no right to talk to me like that. This is your fault! I am nothing without that place! I have nothing…" The last words died on her lips and shattered his heart. He turned to her and carefully raised her chin to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Cuddy knew he was or at least hoped he was. She also knew that this wasn't his entire fault if any of it was. Still she was angry.

"Sorry isn't good enough."

House gripped the door suddenly feeling the need to down some Vicodin and the desire for company.

"Want a beer?"

Why am I here?

Cuddy sat downing her second beer all the while House kept his eyes on her face.

"Be careful how many of those you have. You don't hold your liquor too well."

Cuddy glared at him. He was right though. Last time they had gotten together…she was a little looser than usual.

She slammed the bottle down. "I'm done."

House nodded. "Good."

They stared at each other, though neither one saw the other.

It's now or never.

"Chase said you care about me."

Cuddy froze. Why would he bring that up? "What do you think?"

House gave a quirky grin. "I said I didn't think so."

Cuddy seemed to accept the answer. Good….maybe this is my way to get over him.

"He's right." With that she picked up the bottle. House grabbed her hand tightly in mid air.

"You're lying."

Cuddy trembled slightly in his grasp.

"Does it matter?" she spat back.

House let her hand go and stood up preparing to fight.

"Of course it matters! It always matters. You can't…live a lie…."

Cuddy scoffed standing up close enough to feel the warmth of his breath.

"Why because only you can? When was the last time you admitted anything to anyone? Maybe that you actually ever cared about another human being? About the death of a patient?" House thumped his cane solidly against the floor.

"Don't you dare preach to me about lying! You are the king of liars."

She began to leave.

"Don't."

Cuddy turned surprised that such a small voice followed her harsh words.

"Why?" Her voice cracked. I sound so foolish.

He gently took her arm rubbing soothing circles …without a thought…"I don't lie about everything. "He took a deep breath about to admit … I haven't lied to you. You know more about me now than…hell than Wilson. I'm vulnerable and I hate it."

Cuddy looked at his face, scared and wounded and took a step closer to him wanting to touch him back.

"You remember what you told me."

He parted his lips to speak but found a stifled chuckle was all that could come out.

"Yeah."

This time Cuddy reached out for the contact she wanted and knew he needed.

"I told you I would be here for you."

He held on tighter. "Then don't go."

Cuddy closed her eyes leaning into his look of want and need fearing that her next decision would be the end of her.

Did you like? Please review! I am not sure if I should have them get together or not. Some of you like the tensions and some of you want the action!! You decide! I can go either way with it! If you do decide action however…it will be moved to MATURE!! Please review

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