Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own House

A/N I would also like to reply to an anonymous review that I recently received and if you would all take a few minutes to read maybe it will explain some of my OOC points. Thanks!

Reply to an anonymous reviewer: I greatly accept criticism and appreciate the comments. Yes it has been mentioned perhaps before in Chapter 7 John's performance was a bit over the top and you seem to suggest that it was a bit OOC for him. Do you know John's true character? We have only seen him in one episode for about 10 minutes. No one knows the real John House and anything in this story is pure speculation. I think if Greg got on his nerves enough he would definitely fight back allowing years of silence to slip out. That being said I may rewrite parts in time to better convey the characters the best way I can.

As for all the crying yeah I know sometimes a bit much. What can I say I like angst…love it actually!! It seems most of you do too!! Thank you for that!! I am always looking for ways to improve and may at some point rewrite some parts of the story in an effort to make it better. I can definitely see how too much crying can be annoying!! Considering the past two weeks they had been having (in this story anyway) I think it would shatter even the strongest of walls for a little bit. About your Wilson comment, Wilson happened to catch them talking by accident and actually was there to discuss Cuddy and the board meeting. That was to be explained at a later time but now has been stated.…he wasn't; lurking so to speak. I hope that overall you appreciate how hard I have been working on this and trying to please as many people as possible. Thank you for your comments and hope you will continue to read on. I will try to cut the crying down to a whimper. Completely in character stories can be found on Fox. Smiles

Hope everyone else likes where I decided to take this for the moment. I didn't; break it in to all action yet….Maybe Soon!!

Cuddy reached in a gentle hand and held it over House's heart She could feel it beating…strong and steady….alive. She wanted to do this truly she did but so many factors would change. What if she got her job back? What is she would be hurt by him yet again? Can I do that?

"I don't know if I can do this again."

House heard her words and said nothing.

She pulled her hand away form him. "I'm tired of spending my days crying over you for the things you've done or the things you are going to do. I need to be stronger than that. The hospital needs me to be stronger than that. Being around you lately has made me…."

"Weak." Cuddy nodded at the admission of his words.

"You are far from weak, Cuddy."

Cuddy smirked. "Yeah I know, but somehow ...you…."

House wasn't giving up not after coming this far. "You would never have hired me to begin with if you were weak. You know how much of an asshole I am."

Cuddy snorted. "Who doesn't?"

House shook his head. "No, you know I am a bastard...that I would put your hospital at risk…your baby….yet …yet you trusted me enough to let me in on secrets. You trusted me enough to allow me to risk the lives of patients in order to save them. No matter what happens or will happen it comes down to trust. We ….trust each other. It's as simple as that."

Cuddy looked into his blue eyes. It was true. All of it. She knew all about him, or as much as he would allow, and still trusted him enough to hire him. All her excuses about guilt for his infarction and her decisions, pity that he couldn't; get hired elsewhere and how it would be a waste to let his genius slip by….not the core issue. Trust. Someone you trust…he had said. I did find someone I trusted all along….. all along….

He reached out a hand for her to take. "It's up to you. Do you trust me enough to do this? Can you take another risk in me?"

Her lips tightened at his words in resolve. It was a challenge…. He's challenging me….

"Fine."

They shook on it. As House pulled away he waggled his brows a bit. "This whole pact thing kind of ruined the flow I was going for here."

Cuddy smiled. "I know." The two suddenly felt awkward around each other.

"So…"

Cuddy tapped her foot impatiently. "So…."

"Want to hear some music?"

Cuddy thought that was the best idea yet.

"Sure."

House headed over to the piano and sat down to play. Cuddy took a seat on the couch.

House stretched his fingers before touching the keys and let the melodies flow from their tips. Cuddy sat closing her eyes imagining herself warm, relaxed….no suspension to deal with, no Wilson clearly coming back to work well before he should have and no House….no House to interfere with her judgments about her work…no House to worry about destroying himself…no House…..Cuddy began to feel the rhythm of the music lull her to a fitful sleep. No House…..what did life mean with no House?

Cuddy realized she must have dozed off when she felt House gently shaking her.

"Hey, "he whispered. "Even without your gigantic ass I still don't think I can carry you to the bed."

Cuddy looked at him through narrowed slits. "If you're trying to be romantic you suck at it."

House smirked. "You aren't the first to tell me that."

Cuddy stood up wobbling as she stumbled into the bedroom with House right behind her.

He watched her as she collapsed onto the bed curling into her side and murmuring something in her sleep. House licked his lips. Sleeping tonight will be interesting….

He had stood and watched Cuddy sleep for about fifteen minutes before heading back to the living room. A part of him was eager to play but the other part wanted her….feared her…I am afraid of my actions when I am around her…

He was right. He was vulnerable. He had already said too much to her. He couldn't take it back. He couldn't make it better or send her away. Now he had to deal with it…all of it….and all over a few weak moments. The anger in him boiled over as he threw the nearest bottle against the wall. Whether it was emotional pain or physical his leg began to hurt. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two Vicodin. Swallowing hard he knew it would take the edge off….give him enough to know what to do next….As he thought a bit clearer ironically enough he knew. I am so screwed.

It must have been close to 2 am before he made his way to the bed, not able to indulge his insomnia anymore than he had. He watched his guest. She hadn't moved throughout the events in the living room. Dark curls fell about her face covering it from his sight. He smiled as he brushed them away from her eyes. I don't know how to care for another….I can't take care of myself….

He crawled in beside her and reached over to the nightstand and switched on his gameboy. A little bit more …God she is so close….maybe I should try the couch …safer….

His mind was going in a million directions. Cuddy…Stacey….relationships and the lack of them. Anger at his recent transgressions and confessions….damning them all the while. Humanity sucks. He switched off the gamboy and lay down facing the wall. If I can't see her…

"About damn time you turned that thing off."

He rolled over and saw that sleeping beauty was more awake than he thought.

"I see my plan worked. I was trying desperately to wake you up."

Cuddy didn't find it quite so funny. She placed her hand over her ear propping herself on her elbow.

"Do you know what I've been thinking about for the past hour?"

House closed one eye and released his breath. "Me naked. I know that would wake anybody up."

Cuddy punched him hard in the arm. "No, you idiot. I'm being serious for once… can't you do the same?"

He looked at her but stayed silent. She sighed. Maybe this is a bad idea… Really bad…."

He watched her get up, not stopping her….saying nothing….

When she turned in her seated position leaning over in his face he couldn't help but grin. A great view in her opened blouse she had fallen asleep in. Nice.

"Aren't you going to stop me? Fight for me? Show some kind of passion? You are …are…"

"What? Myself? Just because I open up to you in a moment of weakness does not mean I become a character from a romance novel. I won't fight for you or tell you what to do. You are a strong, passionate woman and that …that is what I like about you. "

She swept one strand of hair behind her ear and smiled briefly. "I thought about you being out of my life."

House's eyes widened as he blinked rapidly. "Not what I had in mind…"

"I thought, "She interrupted, "about how empty my life would be…how boring if you weren't' in it. In anyway, actually whether it is us not being colleagues…friends…lovers….I would have missed out on some fantastic opportunities." She leaned in a bit further seductively. "This being one of them."

He grinned. "I am always up for a booty call."

"Another thing." House rolled his eyes. Here we go….

"I will not be your Stacey, your booty call, hell I won't be your Wilson replacement. If you can't accept that then there's nothing else to say."

House looked into her eyes without a comment. His eyes say it all.

"Finally you shut up."

With that, he kissed her.

I felt I had to have them get some foreplay in (bickering and all right?) Please review! I kept the crying down…more smiles…..love to hear what you have to say!! Thanks as always!!

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