Disclaimer: …you think my broke ass owns this?

Because I Love –To Torture- My Brother

Chapter Four

God he was hungry. After four hours of watching the cooking channel, Naruto might even go in for some of that horrid dog chow the psycho had got him. Getting up and stretching his lithe body, the fox trotted over to where he had set up his bowls…to find them both empty.

'You've got to be kidding me! Bastard couldn't even put some water and food out!?'

Mind, he knew he'd shocked the bastard with his skills –Naruto wanted to fluff his tail at that- but geez! He was tempted to just take care of everything himself but then…what would be the point of coming here? If he behaved it would be just like keeping a nice, docile little house pet for a few days. Psycho had asked him to make his brother fiery again. And that, he would.

Using his 'super'-skill for a second Naruto opened the door went in and shut it before looking down into the basement. Well, onward to his quest.

Walking carefully down the stairs, they were kind of steep, Naruto turned the corner to the floor level and stopped in surprise.

The bastard had skills. The canvases around him were filled with magnificent murals, still-life, water colors, chalks and inks…all bursting with color and emotion. Walking around the room against the wall and avoiding the swaying, seemingly-entranced, painting person in the middle of the room who seemed to be finishing off his current canvas to loud, ear piercing music, Naruto examined the pieces he could get close to without showing himself.

A mural of color, more angry slashes and hesitant spots of color than an actual picture. A couple of still-life pieces, a broken bottle, the usual bowl of fruit but with them rotten. Chalks and inks of people Naruto had met and hadn't met from his life, Psycho, Bastard's Pink-Alarm and a couple of ramrod straight people he could assume to be his parents…

But then there was the watercolor shoved into the corner, still half covered. Naruto looked to Sasuke-bastard before using his teeth to tug down the canvas cloth gently.

It was…no, he was beautiful. Naruto sat on his haunches, tail wrapped close and looked from the picture to the bastard in the middle of the room. So this was who Sasuke loved. Even if he lived with and was married to Pink-Alarm who Psycho didn't like…her picture looked nothing like this. Had none of the emotion in every stroke…

He'd even done the unbelievably pale blue eyes of the man he'd painted to absolute perfection, showing an intelligent, slightly amused man behind the eyes. The unknown man was sitting at a table over books and had apparently looked away…to the watcher. He'd assume that was Sasuke and that the bastard had done this from memory. If so it was even more telling…

Naruto let out a soft huffing, wondering how he was going to do this. Bastard was married. But his brother wanted him happy and…well, looking at this picture Naruto could guess this man made him happy.

This would require his skill. But if he could find out who this man was, get him to talk to Sasuke…maybe even get them back together! –but that was thinking a bit big- then Psycho and Bastard would both be happy and he could trot off into the sunse-

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?"

'Holy SHIT!' Naruto almost jumped a mile high at the scream over the music and turned shocked eyes to where the pale, dark-haired man was stalking towards him. 'Oh hell.' The fox backed away from the canvas, getting ready to bolt.

"You stupid fox. This is my work! Suppose you'd…" The irate voice trailed off as Sasuke-bastard realized what he had been examining so closely. Naruto crouched, looking from man to picture and watching his expression.

Pain. Still pained, even only looking at a drawing. Then a disconsolation and a sort of longing crossed his face before it went blank again. Right, well that decided it…he'd have to find…

"Why'd you…" Sasuke's voice was soft, deceptively calm. "What's so special about this picture fox? You come down here skulking around…I was about to yell at you for maybe damaging one of my pictures…and you're looking at the only one not for sale…You're too intelligent. What are you? Stupid fox…" Sasuke seemed to be rambling, depression making him as morose as his rhetorical questions.

Naruto sat up, yipped and turned tail for the door.

"I'm sure I closed the door." Sasuke followed him up the stairs and yes indeed the door was shut. Sasuke only frowned before opening it and Naruto stepped halfway out before looking back at him, staring really.

"What?" The fox yipped again before moving on. He felt stupid guiding the bastard like some mis-bred Lassie but he eventually got him to the bowls.

"Oh." Sasuke blinked down at the empty bowls. "You were hungry."

Naruto yipped again, higher. 'Finally bastard. Now give me some food!'

Then the bastard reached for the dog chow. Naruto groaned, rolled over and kicked his legs up. 'Kill me now.'

Sasuke looked at him in shock, well as shocked as he'd let himself look. His eyebrows were raised slightly. "What? Itachi said you'd eat this."

'Itachi is a psycho.' Naruto rolled back over and glared slit-eyed at his keeper. Sasuke frowned then.

"So what do you eat then? I don't know what foxes eat!" Sasuke walked over to the fridge and opened it. "Meat? We've got…chicken salad and salmon filet and some tuna melt…"

Naruto sat and wrinkled his nose in thought. The salmon sounded safest. He turned eyes to Sasuke and yipped twice.

"…Uh. Meat then?" Naruto rolled his eyes. God, bastard was slow too? Itachi had worked out the talk and yip system on his first try. The fox nodded and Sasuke's eyes widened. "Okay!"

"Chicken?" The red head shook. "Salmon?" The fox sighed and nodded wearily before giving him a bereaved look. "I am not stupid!" Naruto's lips twisted into the closest thing he could give to a smirk. 'Says the man talking to a fox he calls stupid, yet said fox is smarter than him.'

As he warmed up a salmon cut in the microwave, Sasuke watched him intently. Naruto turned carmine eyes back on him, cocking his head to the side.

"You're too smart for a normal fox. You're another hybrid Itachi got aren't you?" Naruto repeated his bereaved look from before and the bastard glared. "Well then, you know I don't really want a pet from my behavior. If we just get along for a few days I can give you back to Itachi when he comes back and we'll all be happy."

Naruto sighed in a whiny way and turned his attention back to the microwave. 'If only it were so simple Sasuke-bastard!'

A/N: Umm, it's good to feel like an idiot once in a while if it's all in good fun...

Hence, here's my favourite joke off all time. You get to answer it.

"How do you catch a squirrell?"