Chapter Three: The distribution, or how is it called…
-It's a pretty big castle, bigger then mine in Transylvania… - a former count sadly said
-Whatever, Masta maybe we'll pri-va-tize this one – said Seras, while reading the book
"No she IS actually becoming smarter. And gaining some sense of humor too. And it's all just in six hours!" – Alucard slowly understood what a big mistake he has done. In the instructions they should've gone straight into the castle and that's what they did. Alucard, who was tired of looking at the exhausted Police girl, used his old method. Only Walter has heard of it. A big, black coffin quickly walked on its hands with Alucard and Seras on top of it. It quickly ran by some carriages with batlike horses. "Hmmm, maybe I should get one for the decorations" – Alucard thought…
The castle was really a pretty big one. They were met by some guy with long black hear. His look was dreary but when he saw a moving coffin, he immediately threw away the weed he was smoking. "Noooooo, screw that, I tell you, screw everything. WTF is happening? Some Japanese dudes walking around on a moving coffin, selling some h!t." "You can also wash your head you know" – Alucard thought while looking at the guy
-I'm Professor Severus Snape, I'll show you the way – the guy said
-Let's go then, handsome –Victoria replied
Two really mad pairs of eyes were staring at her. One pair, slowly looked down on the appendages to the face. The other one thought "I think I'm going mad… Poor Pip, she will kill him with her brains…"
Meanwhile
-Jan, Jan, get out…
-Luke, dude, why the f did we come here?!
-One guy wanted to pay us for destroying some castle, I don't know…
-Hell Yeah!! Of !it we'll have some fun f
Several minutes later. Hogwarts
-This is the Big Hall. Here are your seats
-And what about food?
-Umm what?
-Darling, we drink blood
-ARE YOU TWO VAMPIRES?!
-Yeah, Masta's really bad. Hey, Masta, maybe Sir Integra forgot to tell them?
-Yeah it's possible
Alucard sat down, put his legs on the table and started staring at the students. Some guy with a long beard was talking some crap about some random stuff. Then came the smallest children, they were standing near an old hat on a stool. It started singing. !#&()!#&()!? "I should stop drinking Walter's tea….yeah…..
The hat was a few seconds away from its death. Alucard almost shot it, just to be able to think more clearly.
-Let me introduce your new teacher – said the bearded guy – PROFESSOR ALUCARD!!
Next events occurred according to this schedule:
1) Applause
2) Cassul is pulled out
3) Victoria's scream "Get Down, you old #!!"
4) A sound of a moving breech
5) The brand smile
6) A shot
7) A fired-through hat falls on the ground
This scene took approximately as much time as it takes to say: "Lord Alucard is really accurate and 13mm bullets are really dangerous for your health"
-NEXT TIME IF SOMEONE CALLS ME A PROFESSOR HE WILL GET HIS SKIN RIPPED OFF!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, BASTARDS!? – The vampire screamed
A few people got out from under the tables, nodded and got back under. But the first night in school was a success.
-Have you seen him?
- Suuuper duuude…
-He's a real monster!
-That was so cool…
-LOL what's gonna happen next?
-Retards! Have you seen the hot girl near him?
(Naïve guys LOLOLOLOLOL)