Chapter Four: First Class
-Masta, that was too much!
-Well how could I know that this old guy got this h!t from Integra. Thank God he only hit me with this stupid cross once…
Half an hour before
After the hat incident, Dumbledore decided to spend a little education time with Alu. He took out a little red envelope and led Alucard to his study. Alucard, however didn't like it, because the decorations included a huge aspen cross and a large number of garlic. Dumbledore opened the envelope. As a result, Alucard got a huge stress. It was his worst nightmare. Integra's voice filled the room:
-Obey! Behave yourself!! Don't kill anyone!!
…and a few other important warnings
In the end, Dumbledore got an approval to be a vampire master until the end of the operation. Professor signed and said:
-Lady Integra gave me a list if there will be some disturbance.
In the next few days Alucard, however has broken one law. But a few times. Here's how it happened. He found out, that the paintings here can speak. It was all the Police Girl's fault. Some count got carried away by her figure. And Victoria obviously got really confused and has blown away the wall with her Harkonnen. The paintings started screaming. Alucard made about ten headshots. Then he said:
-A painting is a stationary art
Therefore – be quiet and don't move. That's how the paintings found it out. A few students made the same assumptions.
The second incident happened when Alucard found out that there are ghosts in the castle
-BAAAAAAA, count Erik!! Anything hurts after the umm "stake accident"?
-You… You?
-I'm already 500 years me. Don't show up here or I'll finish you off
-Ha! You can't! I'm already dead!
Vampire laughed. He transformed into mist, grabbed the ghost by the throat and hit the head of the wall a few times. Then took his Jackal aimed in Baron's head and said to everyone:
-If you thought that it's impossible to hurt a ghost – you were wrong
The ghost screamed so loud, that all the glass broke in a radius of about 20 meters around them: Alucard shot away Baron's finger. It grew back, but it was really painful
-Remember, I have lots of bullets.
This way the ghosts understood that they'd better not argue with Alucard. Now everyone has made that assumption. Therefore, when Alu was walking around in the castle everything in the radius of 100 meters froze and didn't move.
On the second morning, Harry and Ron came in the common room. There they saw Hermione hitting the wall with her head. The effect was amazing. Chunks of concrete were flying off the ceiling and breaking when hitting the girls head.
-What happened?
-I'm dumb, I'm an idiot!
-Why?
-I can't find the word synchrophasotron in the library!!
-Whatever. You can ask… Where is our class taking place?
-In the dungeon
Students were slowly coming in the dungeon. In the corner, near the teacher's table was Victoria who was reading a book. "No, I just can't not prank them" – Alucard thought
The door shut abruptly. The locks clicked. Everyone started shivering. Alucard flew in through the ceiling. He showed his teeth and move towards the scared students. Everyone ran towards the opposite wall. Many of them thought "That's it #". Alucard moved closer
- Where is the attendance book?
- Onnnnnnnnnn tttttttttthhhhhhhhhee tttttttttttabbbbbbbbbbllllllllllle…. – chattered the prefect
-Well then you can live – Alucard smiled and thought: "If I can't eat them, I'll at least make all of them commit a suicide or something…"
-Well… Today we'll learn about vampires. Who can tell me the ways of fighting them?
Everyone was silent.
Slowly, a shaking hand went up. Hermione began telling, trying not to make any sudden movements.
- Sounds like truth – Alucard said – Victoria, come to the middle of the class
-Yes Masta!
- Here is the example of a genuine vampire – Seras stuck out her chest and pouted. The male part of the class gulped.
Clang. BAM! The body fell down. Blood splattered on the floor. The class froze. A few people were quietly throwing up.
-That's how you fight the undead
-Masta, you could've at least warned me!! What if I get like an infraction or something, what's then?
-That's salt, you idiot!
When the corpse started talking all the class ran towards the exit. They broke the door, leaving 5 or 6 lying bodies behind. Only some splinters remained from the desks. Only, in the middle of the class some fat guy was trying to dig in the floor. And the most interesting thing is that he managed to do that. He got about half a meter deep into the stone, when he realized, that there is no door there
- What happened to them masta? Maybe they're sick?
-Maybe they are. Next time I'll bring the coffin with me, we'll show them the habitat
Valentine Brothers were waiting. Snape was thinking of a plan how to not harm himself and get rid of the evil teacher. Many students were thinking about the same thing. And no one from these retards knew that Alucard can read minds.
Luke:
-We need to go and check what's going out there
-Luke, dude, let's just go and f#(!&g kill everyone!
-Well….
-Come on, man, we'll wipe them out!
-Ok, ok let's go