Happy I survived Hurricane Rita everyone! And I say that to any who may have wondered where the hell I've been and didn't bother to check my profile to find out. Considering I live in the city the eye of the hurricane made landfall on my property came out pretty okay. A few busted windows and two extremely large holes in the ceiling were the worst of it. It's still livable-which is good for my mother, my dog, and I because none of us could stand staying in that hotel room much longer even if it was for free- especially now that water, electricity, and cable(and since I have a cable connection, internet as well) have been restore. Ah well, enough small talk. You didn't click the title just to read my rambling.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be living in a house with busted ceilings and windows, now would I?
It had been a simple, seemingly harmless question. A harmless question that he had never spared much thought on. A subject he had never deemed important before, but was now consuming ever processing fiber of his brain and it did so with good reason. This was a dreaded couch-question. A question where if the correct answer (i.e. the answer Sakura wanted to hear) wasn't given he would spend a good few nights getting chummy with his favorite piece of lumpy, hard furniture (which he found to be very strange as he distinctively remembered buying a soft, squishy couch should he ever have to face a couch-question and utterly fail at providing the accurate response).
"What if Sano-chan had pink hair?" It had started off as such a nice evening too.
-/-
As much as Naruto-and well every single ninja who knew that The Uchiha Sasuke was an Icha Icha Paradise fan (which wasn't many, mind you)- liked to joke that he was a boob fiend there was nothing perverted about the rapt attention he paid while watching Sakura breastfeed their eight month old son. It was the most amazing thing. No matter how many times a day and no matter how many days a month that he watched he never grew tired of it. How could he? Right there was the newest living addition to his clan. He still had trouble believing it. He was a father! That was his son (maybe it would finally sink in after a few more years)!
"Beautiful." Sasuke whispered, brushing a finger down the baby's cheek and feeling the little muscles in his mouth working to get food. It was a term he knew had been used to describe him and given who his parents were the baby could expect to be called beautiful as he grew older as well. Right now though his son was still very pink with a tiny head adorned with colorless fuzz (when would he grow hair anyway?) and he looked more like a son of TonTon than a son of his. All the same Uchiha Sanosuke was the most beautiful wrinkled, pink, bald bundle in the world to his mother and father.
"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura had asked after the baby had been properly feed and burped and had started to nod off in her arms. "What color do you think his hair will be?"
Black, of course, was what Sasuke had thought though the words never left his mouth. "What?" He asked instead.
"His hair. What color do you think it'll be?"
Again Sasuke's mind supplied an answer that was never spoken out loud. Black. What else would it be? Maroon?
"What if Sano-chan has pink hair?"
Pink? Sasuke arched a brow staring at Sakura like she was crazy. Why on earth would his son have pink hair. It was going to be black. That was all there was to it. The sun rose in the east, birds flew, fish swam, Naruto loved ramen, Jiraiya wrote porn, and Uchihas had black hair. End of story.
"Pink? Why would-" His mouth snapped shut. Gods bless his good sense. Sakura was glowering and looked ready to burst into flames. What had he done? No. Really what did he do? Was it wrong to assume his son was going to have black hair? Why was Sakura-wait! Sakura! Cherry blossoms! Pink! His wife had pink hair! The mother of his child had pink hair. Damn it, that wasn't fair.
"Where are you going?" Sakura near growled as Sasuke sprang off the couch and quickly found somewhere else to be.
"Teething ring." Sasuke said, hurrying into the kitchen.
One could best describe inner Sakura as an enraged harpy. The outer Sakura's description wasn't much different from that. The fussy baby in her arms kept her from following her husband into the kitchen and throttling him. If he thought he could get out of answering this he was sadly mistaken. It could almost be seen as a guess the sex of the baby fight, but this was so much more important. Sakura needed an answer. It couldn't be dropped as easily. Sano would eventually grow hair and if it came out pink how would life be for him? Sakura was no fool. She knew that a little boy with pink hair was bound to get teased as much as the little girl with a broad forehead she had been so many years ago, but that wasn't what she wanted to know from Sasuke.
That look he'd given her told her that he'd honestly never thought any child of theirs would have hair any color other than black. Which was so unbelievable stupid she had to quell the urge to get up and throttle him again. His mind was so set on black! What if Sano had pink hair! How would her husband feel about a pinked haired heir?
"Your Tou-chan's an insensitive donkey." Never too early to watch what one says around their child.
-/-
"Pink." Sasuke muttered, pulling an apple from the freezer and a kunai from his holster. "Pink." He repeated, slicing the frozen apple into even little quarters. Three of the quarters were placed back into the freezer while the remaining slice was wrapped in a wet, child-sized washcloth. "All the kunoichi in Konoha and I fall in love with the one with pink hair." Not that he was really complaining. He loved every part of Sakura and he'd love her hair even if it were a neon green -but thank goodness it wasn't- especially since it always smelled so nice. Which reminded him that he really needed to catch her in the shower sometime before she had a chance to wash her hair so he could find out if that scent came from the shampoo. Not that he'd never caught her in the shower before, but hair was usually the last thing on his mind when he did. "A pink haired Uchiha." He supposed-while bracing himself to face the furious and temperamental woman he'd left in the living room- that it was rather stupid of him to not consider it before. It was a possibility. A good fifty/fifty chance actually.
"Sakura." She answered with a patented Uchiha glare. When had she learned that? That was his look! "Sakura." He tried again. No such luck placating her like that. With a sigh Sasuke joined her on the couch and popped the washcloth encased apple into Sano's mouth, smiling as the baby gummed it enthusiastically. It was actually ridiculous how hard it was to find a teether that Sano liked. Store bought ones were tasteless and offered very little motivation for him to bite, biting mommy when he was feeding had already been established as a no-no, and while Sasuke found nothing wrong with giving him a blunt kunai or shuriken to chew on the same couldn't be said for Sakura.
"Sasuke-kun, I-"
"He's my son." Sasuke interrupted, giving the baby's bald little head a rub. "He's our son." Sakura gave him a look that clearly said Tell-Me-Something-I-Don't-Know-I-Was-There-When-He-Was-Conceived. Well maybe it didn't say all that, but that certainly was the gist of it. "You're my wife." The Tell-Me-Something-I-Don't-Know look wasn't wavering. "You have pink hair." The look was fast becoming a I'm-Getting-Royally-Pissed-Off one. "You're still an Uchiha." All looks had officially dropped off Sakura's face. Sasuke's face on the other hand was sporting a smug smirk. "A pink haired Uchiha isn't so new. You're both mine and hair color can't change that. End of story." Sakura gave him a good a slap on the back of his head just for being so smug about it.
"You really wouldn't care if you had a son with pink hair?" The arched brow came back.
"Why? Are you pregnant again? Already?" Sakura gave him another slap and for some odd reason he couldn't fathom, called him a donkey. Sasuke laughed. "It's going to be black. If you want little Sasukes with pink hair you're going to have to wait for the next time around." He teased poking her belly lightly.
"End of story, huh?" And the sun rose in the east, birds flew, fish swam, Naruto loved ramen, Jiraiya wrote porn, and Uchiha Sasuke knew how to answer a couch-question and come out unscathed. "Say Sasuke-kun, I've been meaning to ask…" Sasuke cocked his head and motioned for her to go on. "Do you think I've got my figure back?" Damn it, that wasn't fair!
fin
I was cleaning out the den about two days ago when I came across this book filled with over 2,000 home remedies on various everyday health problems proven by several doctors to work. It was a very interesting read and I found out so many things-including what the heck a hemorrhoids was cause I'd heard it mentioned in Family Guy, Ultimate Muscle, and DBZ and didn't have clue as to what they were talking about- and what does that little book have to do with this you may be wondering? Considering how my mind works surprisingly alittle or surprisingly a lot. I came across the chapters on breastfeeding and teething and some how this came about. Don't worry, I don't get it either.
Preview: None this time around. I wanna focus on getting the previous ones out first before I let my imagination run rampant on another idea.
To: me me me and only me. Glad you found it as such.
tatasumari. Here's the update as soon as I could get it out. Got to know though is Sano still creepy?
XxaoshixX. Always pleasing to hear.
Darkofthenight. If you think so I have done my job.
YingYang-chan. And chapter five's good? So so? Awesome? Flyzillia? (I watched too much Smart Guy when I was young)
.Ayane Selznick. Here it is. Next time and SasuSaku all the way!
Petals of Paladin. Woah boy, nice to know I'm no longer on a possible target and hey I'm a "good ol' fan fiction writer"! No ones ever described me that way before. It makes me so happy!
Yuugi-chan. Perhaps if I was a bit more comfortable with the characters they would be. I'm still getting use to the controls so I'm a little hesitant on what to allow and what to not allow a character to do. Eh I'll get there eventually and yes poor Sano-chan's eyes were very much tainted, but it was all in the name of humor so no worries!
Saku-iimoto. Unfortunately soon for me was a good deal away but it's here, finally. Hehe, you know I just love getting such an enthusiastic reviewer.
kurama-kawai . Forgive me if this sounds like I tooting my own horn, but I know that feeling when you just stumble onto this totally amazing fic. I should have started writing Naruto fanfics a long time ago. Apparently they seem to be my calling. My first tries were such flops the only time I saw reviews like yours was when I looked at someone else's story.
IQSymphic. I have only one thing to say. Your kid will never need a Sex-Ed class.
sasuke's cherryblossom . Life is just full of eiery little coincidences like that, isn't it?
white-rosekiss. Well if he wants to restore that clan he better be taking the A-rank missions like his life depends on it.Please to know you found this one to be the funniest.
Crystal Renee. Not this time? Ya mean you'll wait until my guard is down then beat me like I owe you money-or in this case a chapter? And you put a character with Hinata and it's not all that hard to get cute.
PinkLadyDiva. Whoohoo! My story fulfilled it's purpose! Now I can die happy….But I'm not doing it anytime soon because if I did I'd miss the premiere of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
psychedelic aya . Hope you didn't hurt yourself in that fall. I'd just hate to injury a reviewer.
Gamergirl333. You're crying! Aw, here's a tissue, but don't stop laughing. That's what I'm here for.