The Abridged Series of Haruhi Suzumiya

Recap: Haruhi and the gang decided on freefalling of the Alps, and its all because Yuki brought a book on cowtipping. What will be in store for them?

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Kyon woke up early, and did the Chacaron Macaron due to the impact of the startling alarm. He would never be used to waking up so early. He sighed, remembering Haruhi's words:

"We're freefalling off the Alps. WITH NO EQUIPMENT!"

Or... something like that. He slapped himself with his head. Kyon didn't care about Haruhi's exact wording, as long as the idea remained constant right...?

...Riiiight?

Kyon lifted his suitcase, taking care not to walk too fast or too slow, knowing that his sister who was still asleep might suspect him if he did. He put it down slowly, oh so painfully slowly, because... it was heavier than usual. He opened the bag and yelled,

"OH, SISTAA!!" But inside the bag wasn't his sister. It was a cat, Shamisen, who started to run around like a psychopath, acting as some sort of beacon. Oh, shiit... The young lass known as Kyon's sister would have heard that call. Kyon was done with.

"YAHO!" A face popped out of his closet. Kyon groaned. His sister managed to find out about his trip and decided to confirm it, obviously using Shamisen as her slave for the job. And once upon a time, my friends... Kyon. Went. Emo... or at least it appeared as so. He was just spazzing out.

"Why!? Why!? Why!? Why are you in my room!? Why did you turn my closet into a temporary cabin - slash - dorm thing to sleep in!? Why did you do that to poor Shamisen!? Further more..." He started to randomly hug a pole (Ooh... why the heck does he have one in his room... ? wink) and was on his knees hugging it like it was his mom. "Why... why must you stalk me so...?" Kyon's sis shrugged. "I dunno. It's my job. And I'm going with you!" She gave a smile to Kyon that reminded him of a woman from a dream who looked like Asahina's mom, who claimed to be her future self. The smile was way too similar, except for the sadistic Haruhi twist.

"Dude... you coming with me... is like suicide!"

The angry little thing started to whine. "So!? Hey... Boohoo! I'm no dude! Also, you going would be suicide too right!? Blood is closer, and thicker, than water. I'm going with you!"

"Oh, I don't think so--!" Just the, Kyon's sis randomly took her hand and brought her fingers together into some knife-like thing and used it to "stab" Kyon. The impact wasn't serious, but enough to make him stumble backwards and whine.

"OW!"

"Yea, I know." Kyon's sis winked. "Let's go then!" Kyon randomly threw her into the closet like throwing a fish back into the ocean.

"WEEEEE!!"

"Okay, that great," Kyon said in reply to that half whine. "Have fun camping out in my closet... and don't you dare do anything wierd to my underwear! Ugh... cicadas..." Kyon shuddered at the memory, and ran out as fast as he can.

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"PENALTY!" Haruhi yelled at Kyon, yanking at his scarf.

"Why, are you wearing a scarf when not necessary according today's temperature?" Yuki muttered under her breath. Dammit! And you're still lugging that cowtipping book around! What next!? Ultimate Shuffleboard at Vegas!? Kyon thought to himself.

"YAHO! Sooo sooo, megassa glad y'all are here nyoron!" Tsuruya greeted Haruhi's mafia, and it was obviously her who would pay for the SOS Brigade's flight to the Alps and back, booking them into a luxury hotel as well. As a reward, Haruhi let the green-haired fang girl come along.

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The plane ride was relaxing, and although Kyon regretted leaving his younger sister behind, he was happy that she wouldn't break her poor bones being dragged into a situation. Yuki pulled out a gazzillion random books from a small puny bag and started to read, and one of the flight assistants were quite intimidated.

"May I help you--"

"Not necessary," Yuki would say, butchering the poor man's words. Mikuru, who had no choice but to be seated next to her freaked out as well, and started to cry so much that she was close to laughing sadistically. Why me!? Why why why why why why WHY ME!?

Itsuki smiled, listening to one of the Three Light songs, a song Kyon couldn't stand. And as usual, his face was too close.

Search! For your love! doodoodoodoo doo doo doo...

Kyon was about to grab him... when...

"We will land in New York City soon. Please fasten your seat belts..."

Haruhi was humming to herself when she dropped her drink after hearing that.

"New... York...?" She said, her eyes widening and her face turing pale.

"...City..." Yuki finished after her.

Tsuruya shared the same reaction as Haruhi, and was grabbing her head with both hands as if she caused the end of the world. Kyon dreamt of such a situation. "Oh my..."

"I-I'm so sorry!" Tsuruya cried on Haruhi's shoulder. "I didn't mean to--!"

"CUT THAT OUT!" Haruhi screamed. Everyone turned to face her but she ignored them, but instead started to laugh. "This is awesome! Getting a plane to the wrong place happens only on sitcoms! Further more..." She smiled. "HOW CAN'T YOU FIND COOL THINGS IN AMERICA, PEOPLE! Especially New York City! We're goin' western, whee!!"

"America... nyoron." Tsuruya beamed.

"A-murikah..." Itsuki said, a weak attempt of an english accent.

"Amarika..." Kyon said in his honest japanese accent.

Even Yuki said it, rolling her r in an indifferent British accent. "Amerrrikah."

"IT'S AMERICA!" Mikuru yelled out half annoyed, half scared... no... make those thirds... and finally, one third excited.

"Yea, we know it's America," The rest of the Brigade said simultaneously.

"Let's go!!" Haruhi jumped out and an assistant had to restrain her.

"What are you planning to do? Skydive? To assure the safety and convenience to our--"

"Passengers, blah, blah, blah," Haruhi said, cutting off the poor woman. And yes, it wasn't a man after all.

Kyon smacked his forehead with his right hand. So much for freefalling off the Alps... not that I wanted to.

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SECOND CHAPTER! WOOT!