a/n aren't you just thrilled about this story? It's so...exciting, ain't it:P

I've Got No Strings

Chapter One-Honesty

It happened one day, shortly after my graduation from the Ninja Academy, and then the final test with your sensei. Mine was one-on-one though because I was going to be teamed up with my brother and sister since it was an odd numbered class and their original third teammate died...

I made it.

But apparently, that didn't make a difference. People still sent me dirty looks as I passed by with my siblings. All the way home they did this. I ignored it the best I could. But that didn't help too much.

Satoko and Haruki gave a start when someone made a comment, but I held them back.

"It's no necessary. I'm used to it," I said softly, a light, fake smile making its way onto my face.

Haruki rose an eyebrow but grunted an acceptance.

"But--Hina!!" Satoko argued; I cut her short.

"Let's just get home, okay?"

It didn't take too much longer to do that. The three of us stepped into the main building together and found our father, tired and graying, waiting for us.

"Daddy! Daddy I passed! I'm officially a ninja for the Waterfall Village!" I exclaimed, smiling brightly as I ran towards my father to hug him.

"Oh! That's...great! Satoko, Haruki? Can you go...do something while I talk to your sister?"

"Of course, Daddy!" Satoko said, and headed back out, dragging Haruki out by the ear after her before he could argue.

"Aren't you proud of me? I even finished in the top 5 of the class, which isn't exactly what I had planned on, but it's still good, isn't it?" I looked up at my father with eyes glimmering, feeling the familiar sensation of being a little kid again.

"Yes, yes. That's all fine and dandy, sweetie, but there's something I want to talk to you about. Please, follow me."

He led me to his study, a place we usually werent allowed to enter, and sat me down on one of the chairs.

"Hina...do you remember the last time your uncle Hiroshi was here?"

I nodded slowly, tracing a finger over the pale, barley noticeable scars on my arm: the scars from the fallen vase.

"Well, what I want to talk to you about has to do with that..."

"Nani?"

"You'll understand in a minute, Hina. Now how much of our conversation did you hear?"

I rolled my eyes upward and stuck out my tongue, as I usually did when I thought of something. I still remembered that day so well, even though it was two years ago.

"Um...I believe the words were 'Yasou! Listen to what I have to say!'!"

"Okay, so you heard it all. Do you recall any of the rest of the conversation?"

"Yes. I remember it all. But Daddy! Why are you asking me these things? What doe sit have to do with me becoming a ninja?!"

"Honey, I said we'd get to that!" My father snapped; I sunk down in my seat, cowering a little under his fierce gaze. My father, a powerful ninja in the village Hidden by the Waterfall, was quite frightening. Especially when he was angry...No one experienced that more than Satoko, Haruki, and me.

"Yes, sir," I whispered, staring at the floor.

"Now, on with what I was saying. You passed, correct?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"That isn't good, not good at all," he mumbled, looking distant. "Hina, I was hoping I wouldn't have to say this. But, as it turns out, I do."

"Nani?"

"Hina--you aren't cut out to be a ninja. I think you should just quit. You're too delicate, too weak. You don't even stand up for yourself, you won't be able to protect anyone else."

I stared up at him in horror, the buzz of the townspeople ringing in my head. 'Trash. Let's see you give me a shove. Come on! Do it!' 'It's because she's a pushover, a good-for-nothing girl who has empty dreams. She'd never be a good ninja, Yasou. She'd never be successful at ANYTHING, actually.' 'Hina, why don't you just crawl into a hole and die.'

His words stung so much more than those of all the others. I leaned forward, staring at the hard-wood floor which looked as if it were spinning underneath me.

"Hina, did you hear me?"

"Did I hear you call me scum? Yes, I believe I did," I whispered.

"What?! That isn't what I said!"

"Yes it is!!"

"No, I just said you were delic--"

"Stop lying Daddy!!!" I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut so that the tears wouldn't leak out. I wouldn't show anymore weakness. "You agreed with Uncle Hiroshi, didn't you? You agreed with the townspeople. You thought I was worthless, pathetic, that I should die. But for how long? Daddy, how long have you been lying to me?" My voice noticeable shook as I spoke; I wouldn't look up at him, I didn't want to see the expression on his face. And I didn't want him to see the tears that found their way out from under my eyelids, fat and hot, leaving streaks on my cheeks.

"Never. Not once. Just please, take my advise and leave the ninja career. You arent cut out for it. I just want you to be safe. I love you."

"'"Stop it, Yasou. Stop lying and trying to be like her mother. Lying to a young girl--or just a girl like her--can cause the child to become corrupt. You wouldn't like that, would you?"' were Uncle Hiroshi's exact words, weren't they? Don't they seem rather fitting?"

"No! Not at all!" My father seemed desperate to get me to believe him, but I couldn't. Looking deep into his eyes, deeper than I had ever bothered to look before because I trusted him, loved him, I saw the same hatred I saw in the eyes of the townspeople.

"Just tell me, Daddy," even though I used an endearing term, it was still a threatening command.

"I couldn't do that to you, Hina," he said.

Laughing a little, I finally opened my eyes and looked up at him. "But saying that already gave away the fact that your opinion on me is offensive. Otherwise you'd gladly tell me about your love and compassion. What, do you think I'm too fragile for the truth, Daddy? I just want to be freed from the darkness and to see the light, no matter how dark it is. I want the blanket pulled away from my eyes."

"Hina, it doesn't say that at all--"

"Oh really? Most parents wouldn't even have to have their child ask for their opinion. They'd just say it with a genuine smile on their face. If your opinion was nice, you'd act just the same." I suddenly went quiet and looked back at the floor, strands of my hair falling in my pale eyes.

After much hesitation, father cleared his throat as a way to bring back my attention. "Fine," he said, and began struggling to find the right words.

"Don't bother trying to be delicate. I just want to hear the words, since I already see it all in your eyes. Just say what comes to your head."

Glancing upward, I saw a shocked look on his face, but he nodded.

I'm not exactly as you think, am I?

"Try honesty," I whispered so that he couldn't hear.

"Fine. I think you are too fragile to be a ninja. You're a pushover who can't even stand up for yourself. How are you supposed to protect the village? And you want to know how long I've been lying to you? Let's see if this answers that.

"I never really liked you. I don't know why, but since the day you were born, deep down inside of me, I didn't much care for you, though I didn't want you dead like your uncle did. However, Daija, your mother, loved you to pieces. She pampered you, because she thought you were so sweet.

"Meanwhile, I got busier with being a shin obi, and be default was less concerned with the family. Once she was murdered, I decided it would only be fair to treat you all the way she would, so it would seem like she was still there. I--"

"So you've always been lying to me?"

"In a sense, yes, I suppose I have been. But I didn't always know. I just instinctively got busier, not knowing it was my dislike for you. I didn't know until Uncle came two years ago. He awoke my feelings."

"Ah, I see. Well, that's enough." I stood and slowly walked out of there, not even sparing him another glance. I picked up the pace a little once in the hall, quickly turning into my room and grabbing a bag from under my bed. I jammed some items into it, closed and locked it, and then left.

Satoko and Haruki were practicing with shuriken in the backyard. I looked at them sadly, pausing briefly to watch my older siblings, and then walked on.

"Hina!! Hina what did Dad want to talk to you about?!" Haruki asked, dropping his shuriken and running up behind me.

"Oh, it was nothing. He was just telling me something that he's been...hiding for a long time now, is all."

"Was it something bad?"

"In a sense, yes. But it was a good thing he informed me of it, at last. I don't like it when I'm blind to things." I frowned a little, stopping abruptly so that Haruki bumped into me. Satoko, on the other hand, was more careful and avoided doing the same thing by walking around the both of us and stopping in front of me, facing me with a look on her face, a mixture of concern and suspicion.

"Yes, yes, we know that, Hina. But why do you have your suitcase? Where are you going?"

"A friend's house?" Haruki asked curiously, joining Satoko in front of me.

"You two know perfectly well that my only friends are the both of you," I whispered sadly, and looked towards the ground. My hair hung in my eyes; I didn't bother to brush it away. I felt a throb in my heart, and was tempted to put a hand over it, but I stopped. I didn't want these two to see how weak I was, not right then. Of course, they must have known. But they werent used to seeing my pain, because I hid it so well with a shining face.

But, no matter how glad I was to know the true feelings of my father, it hurt. A lot.

I bit my lower lip briefly and then looked up at my siblings.

"Hina-sama...are you alright?" Satoko whispered, extending her hand and touching me lightly on the arm.

"I'm fine, onee-chan."

"But, Hina..." Haruki knit his eyebrows together in a thoughtful way, and soon began pulling at the bottom of his shirt.

"Onii-chama, onee-chan, please, don't worry about me. I'm just going out."

"Going where?"

It was obvious that the two of them wouldn't let me leave until I told them. I let out a resigned sigh.

"Promise you won't tell Father if I tell you guys?" I asked, brushing the loose hair away gently; it fell right back in my eyes

"Promise," Satoko said; Haruki nodded solemnly.

"I'm going to go thank a couple people. And then...then I'm running away."

Silence surrounded the three of us. Satoko looked sad, holding at her throat the way she always did when her throat had gone dry and she couldn't say anything.

Haruki looked confused.

"Nani? Hina--why are you leaving? What happened?!"

"Haruki!!" Satoko shrieked, her hands going down to her side. "You must know," she said in a lowered voice.

The 14-year-old boy's face lit up in realization. Satoko nodded; I laughed a little to myself.

"I'm just tired of ignoring it, is all. And the only way I'll stop hearing it is if I leave this place." I looked up at the sky for a moment. "Arigato, onii-chama, onee-chan. Sayonara." I saluted my older siblings and then silently continued onward.

They didn't come after me. I was glad. I needed to be alone at this time. Otherwise I might reconsider running away. And running away was the very thing I needed to keep breathing.

"But overall, I must say I'm thankful to him for finally trying honesty with me. To think he's been lying to me since the day I was born," I thought aloud. But any passing citizens of the village would have just ignored me.

In no time at all, I reached the large cemetery of our small village. Idly, I walked towards the center of the field of gravestones where I was sure to find a long row of deceased members of my family--on my mother's side.

Right next to each other, the two people I wanted to "visit" were buried. They had been close as they were growing up, and forever afterwards.

I hope they're with each other now, I thought to myself as I knelt down on the green grass; in front of the one grave the grass was flattened. That was mostly from my knees being there, all the time.

My hand shook as it lifted itself from the ground and touched the cold granite of the grave. My finger absently traced over her name. Using her maiden name on the grave, it read ' Akarui Daija'.

"Arigato, Mommy," I whispered, my hand falling limp to the ground, touching the withered flowers that surprisingly still lay in front of her grave from a visit a while back.

What for? the wind whispered.

Only there was no wind. The air was still, serene. The leaves on the trees moved not, and the crisp, brown petals of the flowers on the ground right by me stayed as deadly immobile as they had been.

It didn't take me long to figure out that it was my mother speaking to me. Quite unlike what was said about me, I was quite bright.

"For everything. You loved me, cared for me. One of the only ones who truly ever did..." My fingers closed around the thorn-covered stem of the dead bouquet of flowers; blood trickled slowly from the spots I was pricked, but I was numb to the quick pain of a thorn sticking me.

Why, darling, do you say that?

My eyes opened wide, and I felt myself begin to shake. "You mean...you didn't love me either. Father was lying to me then as well?"

Like the rustling of leaves, she laughed. I didn't say that, did I? But why are you thanking me for loving you? It was so easy. You were sweet, are sweet. I don't understand why the village never loved you.

Relieved by the fact that she wasn't one of many who had hated me, I allowed a fleeting smile to pass over my face. "Neither do I. I'm sure someone knows but--"

Half of them probably don't even know themselves. They just don't want to be different from the others, so they act coldly towards you. You don't deserve it, Hina.

Something cold touched my forehead, brushing the loose hair, too short to be pulled back into the hairstyle I used, off of my forehead.

"Mommy? Is that you?"

Yes, sweetie.

I nodded, quickly getting off my knees and changing positions so that I sat Indian-style.

"Mommy. I have a question for you."

What is it?

"How come I can hear you talking? And, even though no wind is moving, I hear a constant rustling of leaves all around me."

I felt her hand touch my shoulder, cold at first, but then she warmed. She was smiling.

It's because you are so quiet. In this village, there are many dead people. And if its quiet enough, you can hear their ghosts speaking. That's the rustling you hear. You can't make out what they're saying because you aren't talking to them. Not many people are quiet enough for long enough to hear their deceased loved ones talking to them, or other ghosts just wanting contact with the living. However, they always seem to see the angry ghosts, the ones haunting them She chuckled. That time it didn't sound like the rustling of leave sin the wind, but actually like my mother's chuckle. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"When we first started talking, you sounded like the wind. But now, Mommy, you sound like yourself."

That isn't good. You aren't used to conversing with the dead. If we talk for too long, and I start to sound completely like myself...it just isn't good. But, you must have talent in this area. Speaking to ghosts that is. Not many can hear the true voices so quickly. I must leave you now, Hina, darling. I love you.

"I love you, too," I whispered; there was no reply. However, a real wind did pass, plucking the dead leaves right off the flower (the ones that remained) and off the ground, carrying them away. I loosened my grip on the stem until it fell to the ground, too, covered in spots of blood.

I pressed my scratched hand on my shirt for a minute until all the blood stopped coming out. Then I turned to the grave beside my mother's.

"Uncle Hiroshi," I whispered, scooting towards his grave. "It's been a long time since I've spoken to you. Not that I ever really did talk to you much, you didn't like me." I laughed nervously, staring at the gravestone hard.

The sound of strong winds passed by, growling in my ear.

What do you want?

"I came to thank you, Uncle. Because of you, my father's true feelings were revealed. And you were right, lies can corrupt a child. It's always good to know the truth."

I felt a lump begin to form in my throat. Unsuccessfully, I tried to swallow it down.

I always knew I was right The wind sounded smug, which was somewhat amusing.

"That was all I had to say to you. Now I'll be going."

Where to?

"I'm running away," I informed him simply.

The ghost of my uncle was silent for a moment, and I thought, like my mother, he left me. But, as I was about to stand, he spoke again.

Stay a while he ordered

"Talking to you or...?" I trailed off, confused. What did Uncle Hiroshi care if I ran away? If he was still alive, he'd probably actually be happy to be rid of me.

In the village, you twit! Jeez...you really are dumb...

"No I am NOT! I've had enough of these insults for one day, thank you very much!"

There was a noise resembling a snicker. My, we've grown feisty, haven't we?

I ignored the comment. "How long do you expect me to stay? And where do you expect me to stay hidden? I already told Satoko and Haruki that I was leaving, I cant just go back home. Oh I'm sorry, to my house."

And they didn't try to stop you? My, my...shows how much they really care for you, doesnt it?

"Please, Uncle...stop it," I whispered feeling my heart sink. What if that was why they didn't come after me? Uncle Hiroshi always had a way of making me doubt.

Now to answer your questions, leave in maybe two days. That way you get to think about where you'll go. Bet you didn't think of that, hm?

I shook my head. "No. I just thought of getting out of this place."

Just as I thought. Now as for where you'll stay...here, in the cemetery. There are plenty of places where no one will find you, if you hide properly. I'll show you to one later. I began to hear the sneer in his voice and, remembering the words of my mother just moments before, I was prepared to stop conversing at any time.

"Okay. Arigato, Uncle. Sayonara, for now."

Wait a minute. Before you decide to leave, there's one more thing I have to say.

"What is that?"

Whenever you go, I'm coming with you.

"Nani?!"

There are some things I need to tell you. And, I could help you. I could imagine him shrugging.

"Why would you want to do that? And what kind of things--"

You'll find out some other time. Sayonara!

And then there was nothing.

"I wonder why it's so bad if Mommy starts to sound completely like herself..." I pondered aloud as I made myself comfortable in the grass, hidden behind the tall and wide gravestones.

a/n okay! so that's the first chapter! was it liked? anyway! I have to go fix some things on my homepage and then I got to get back to doing some other things. I relaly hope you are enjoying my works and I look forward to any reviews. :P