CHAPTER ELEVEN

A/N- I think one of you didn't read chapters eight and nine and went straight to stupid sucky poem…you might be confused, because chapter eight and nine are the BEST chapters I have written. Not chapter nine, but eight is, so read it if you haven't. and don't forget to review…oh, and I have diwali holidays now, so I'm writing. Chapters will take time to come once school starts because then they are going to go reaaaaaaaaly fast and I'm going to have trouble coping.

Portia's POV

Caius emerges from the loo looking very happy. He did spend quite a lot of time there…wait, I see Titinius now. They're holding hands.

I raise my eyebrows, 'What the hell?'

'Oh,' says Caius happily, 'Meet Titinius, Porch.'

'Why are you holding hands?' I ask. Like I don't know the answer.

'Guess,' says Caius, who is practically jumping up and down on the spot with excitement.

'I don't want to guess,' I say. What else is there to say?

'It's really obvious,' Caius hints.

I suck in a deep breath, 'you went and got yourself a boyfriend?'

'Good one,' beams Caius, as I shriek.

'WHA-????? YOU-TITINIUS-BOYFRIENDS??????'

'Um,' says Titinius, 'yeah.'

'That's-that's-,' I don't know what to say.

'That's what-?'

'That's so gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,' I say.

'Yeah,' says Caius, 'so?'

'I don't know,' I say, 'I always thought you were, but I wasn't too sure.'

'That's okay,' Caius shrugs.

'I mean I always wondered why you didn't have a girlfriend,' I admit.

'Did,' Caius asks, 'you ever wonder why I didn't have a boyfriend?'

'Um,' I wonder, 'I dunno, you were in denial?'

'Why would I be in denial?' Caius asks.

'I don't know,' I say.

'You obviously hadn't met me yet,' Titinius says.

'Yeah,' says Caius, 'that must've been it. Yeah.'

'Okay,' I say, although I know we should be talking about how Shakespeare is controlling everyone and about saving the world.

'Titinius can't get his hands off you,' I unnecessarily point out.

'I know,' says Caius, 'sexy sexy me.' Titinius quickly takes his hands out of Caius' jeans pocket and puts them inside his own pocket.

'This is weird,' I say, 'but what do I tell all the people here.'

'Tell them to help themselves to the pizza and ask them to come tomorrow,' says Titinius simply, 'you can make some plan till then. Its Friday night anyway, they might have some party to attend.'

'Yeah,' I say, 'sounds good, we've warned them, we'll let them go.'

'Pizza first,' Titinius says.

'Yeah, whatever,' says Caius.

'Casca'll be happy,' I say.

'Casca?' Tininius asks, 'he was eating pizza right now, from his bag.'

'He's obsessed,' says Caius.

'Is he?' says Titinius, 'I haven't talked to him much, really.'

'He's cool,' says Caius, 'I'll tell him I wont be able to make it on Saturday night, he has a habit of taking me out for pizza three to four times a day.' And Caius winks flirtatiously at Titinius.

Oh Gaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!

'Tell him then,' says Titinius, from whose voice jealousy is very very evident.

'Lalalaaa,' I say like I haven't noticed anything and leave the room quickly while I have the chance.

I can hear snogging from inside. Gross! Thank god I left.

I go and stand next to my husband, who looks very disturbed about something. He thinks he looks very calm and composed, like nothing is bothering him, but I know the truth; I've known him for more than two thousand years.

'What's the matter?' I ask. He doesn't say anything.

'Mark,' I repeat, 'what's the matter?'

'I know not,' he says, 'I prithee, ask me not. Leave me be.'

'Tell me,' I say.

'I would,' he says, 'but I don't know.'

I stare at his confused, perhaps even hurt face and ask the crowd to take their share of pizza, to return the next day, and to disperse.

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Titinius' POV

"Seventh heaven." That's where I'm taking Caius. I'm paying of course, with him being the spoilt brat that he is.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't have any (okay, a little) make-up, but I have used a lot of stuff on my hair. Expensive stuff. But I'm not quite sure whether I'm supposed to tie it up. Is dating always this hard? I do want to look good, but I have no sense of fashion. Damn!!!!!!!!

I decide to leave it (my hair of course)open. Mom said that that looks better. Hmmm…which perfume….tie or no tie….eyeliner (eyeliner??????????? Yay! I can borrow moms)

'MOM!' I call out, 'I'm scared.'

She sighs, 'It's okay. This is your first date in years isn't it?'

I nod pathetically.

'There's no reason to be scared,' mom says, 'I'm sure that friend of yours must be scared too.'

'He's not my friend,' I say, 'Boyfriend.'

Mom looks at me through her square spectacles, 'that's my girl.'

'I am NOT a girl mom,' I say, 'should I put eyeliner? Which perfume? Mooooooom, you think he likes me?'

Mom sighs again, 'I'm sure he is very fond of you…no eyeliner for you.'

'BUT WHY??????? I want eyeliner…you think he likes me?'

'No eyeliner. And he hates you for repeatedly asking the same questions.'

'I WILL use eyeliner, and he LIKES me!' I say. Why does mom have to be so mean sometimes, 'Mom, which of these smell better?' I hand her two bottles of perfume.

'They are both very good,' says Mom without even smelling them.

'You think?' I say.

'No, they both smell like shit.'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.'

'Then decide for yourself. You are a big gir-,'

'I'm a boy, mom.'

'-girl now.'

So I go inside and put on my make-up myself.

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Oh, god, I feel sick. My hair is open, I smell damn sexy, I'm wearing this suit thingy mom chose for me, without a tie, and I've got all these flowers in my hand.

Flowers…seriously.

I think I'm going to throw up any moment now. But I ring the doorbell anyway.

Caius opens it. He, unlike me, is in his pyjamas.

'Grsgdgood moogfdrning,' he says groggily, rubbing his eyes.

'Hi, erm, I got you flowers.' Now I am going to throw up.

But I don't throw up.

'Titinius…what, it must be like five am?'

'It's eight o'clock Saturday night,' I say, 'not 5am.'

He grabs my hand aggressively and looks at my watch. 'Shit,' he says, 'I must've overslept…' he rubs his eyes again and looks at me, 'TITINIUS??? Oooh, the date! Shit! I'm so sorry! It was my alarm clock's fault!' He points at his Mickey Mouse alarm clock, 'it forgot to ring…'

'Right,' I say, 'flowers?'

'Oooooooooooooooooh,' says Caius, noticing them for what seems to be the first time, 'for me????????? You- chooooo- chweeeeeeeeeet!'

'Sure,' I say, 'anytime.'

'Yay!' he says, scratching his head. He's still half asleep, but grabs the flowers out of my hands all cheerfully.

'You're so nice,' he says, yawning right in front of me without bothering to cover his mouth. I know I should be offended but he looks so cute. Most of his hair falls in front of his eyes, and you can see little pools of blue swimming beneath them. His pyjamas have little teddy bears on them. I must say this sleepy look suits him.

'Ooooooh,' he says brushing some hair out of his face, 'white rose thingies.'

'White roses,' I correct him, 'not thingies.'

He blinks, 'I think I need coffee.'

'Um.'

'Come in, I'll make you some too.'

'Um, thanks,' I walk inside, and whoa! His house such a MESS. There are clothes, accessories, make-up stuff, gel, hair-dye, a wide assortment of combs and hair-brushes lying around everywhere, on the floor, on the sofa, on the television set- practically EVERYWHERE.

'Sorry for the mess,' he says. He's now gaining consciousness and is awakening slowly. I notice that his face has turned red due to embarrassment.

'Good morning,' I cheerfully say.

'Yeah,' he blushes, 'want coffee?'

'You've already asked,' I remind him.

'Sit down,' he says.

'Where?'

'Oh Titinius, I'm so sorry,' he takes some clothes off a sofa and dumps them on another. The load of all the clothes is too much for the other sofa and they tumble down on to the floor. Caius doesn't seem to care.

'Um,' I sit down nervously.

'I'm really sorry,' he repeats, 'I had remembered that it was our big date. I was sleeping.'

'Its okay,' I lie. Of course its not okay, I spent forever getting ready and making plans, but only to see him like this.

'I didn't mean to,' he says.

'I understand,' I say.

'You're the best,' he says happily. I'm happy to see him smile like that, of course, but he forgot…

'Thanks,' I say.

'Wanna come to the kitchen,' he asks, 'we'll make coffee, and then we'll go. Swear.' He takes my hand and takes me to his kitchen. I forgive him for forgetting our date instantly for holding my hand so caringly. He looks so innocent…his eyes sparkling what seems to be his love for me, his hands so warm on mine, strands of his hair falling on his face like they always do, his pyjama top half tucked into his pyjama bottoms, he looks so free.

His kitchen is, of course, no better than the rest of his house. Its amazing how, despite having each and every meal out of the house, he manages to keep it so disorganized. All this messiness looks amazingly cute on him though. I have mentioned this fact so many times already but it is so true-he is so cute.

He sits on this chair he has in his kitchen, I know, who keeps chairs in their kitchens? He sits down and invites me to sit down on another.

I sit down and watch him make coffee. He keeps sticking his hair behind his ears, but they fall out each time, on his eyes, enhancing his good-looks.

He makes the coffee within a matter of a few minutes and hands me a cup, 'here you go.'

'Thanks.'

'Why're you looking at me like that?' he asks, though I can tell he knows the answer. His face has turned beet-root red. He's blushing.

He says nothing and grins.