Hello all! Thanks for favorite-ing us and all your comments! Mattpuppy and I are trying to bang these out as quickly as we can…and yes we really could hear everything that the other was doing and cough singing cough
Blah, blah, blah, Warning: language sex talk, blah, blah, blah, Disclaimer: I own Mattie-Kun…
Day 3 and Mello is still sick in bed waiting around for Matt to get home all day so he can talk via iChat. Naturally that means that Mello was extremely bored all day and is now dying for conversation… but what happens when Matt decides to audio-hack Mello's computer? He hears some things he wishes he hadn't…
Mello: Matt-puppy...?
Matt: ..What.
Mello: I feel guilty
Matt: ...Why?
Mello: you know how you're a great hacker an all
Matt: Why yes. Yes I do.
Mello: well, you left your Ipod here the other night
Mello: so I decided that I would show you that I could hack to
Mello: but
Mello: I couldn't even steal the music from a wimpy little Ipod...
Matt: Awww, poor Mello. Defeated by the elusive -white- iPod.
Mello: it's silver Matt
Matt: It's white, Mell.
Mello: no it's silver
Matt: Alright then, Mell
Matt: ..Mell, I can hear sounds coming through the audio hack.
Matt: ...Are you playing DS?
Mello: what the hell matt
Mello: you hacked my computer!?
Matt: ...Maybe.
Matt: That's not the question
Mello: i dont know what you are talking about
Matt: I can hear the buttons clicking, Mell.
Matt: Turning the sound off doesn't change the fact.
Mello: thats just the key board while im typing
Matt: No, keyboards make a very different sound from DSes.
Matt: Trying to argue this with someone like me is probably the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Mello: ...
Mello: i am not playing that horrid
Mello: thing
Mello: you call entertainment
Matt: So you just put it down for a second to say you're not playing honestly, and then went back to it, right?
Mello: no
Mello: im not playing at all
Matt: Heh. Okay Mell. You're a terrible liar. 3
Mello: im not lying
Mello: that thing is so stupid
Mello: what does ds stand for ay way
Mello: dumbly stupid
Matt: Double Screen, Mello.
Mello: i knew that
Mello: im bored
Matt: Go play your DS, then. 3
Mello: i dont even have one
Matt: If you say so, Mell.
Mello: Wtf is that supposed to mean?
Matt: ..Nothing.
Mello: You don't think i have better things to do than kill my brain cells playing video games
Matt: Like slow your heart to a crawl eating chocolate?
Mello: chocolate does not slow my heart
Matt: Okay, Mell.
Mello: it releases endorphins
Mello: thats what keeps me happy all the time
Matt: Happy, my ass.
Matt: You're constantly pissed.
Mello: am not
Matt; I have the hand-marks to prove it.
Mello: that was a fun night
Matt: Indeed. But your mood was still foul, case in point.
Mello: maybe u didnt get me enough chocolate that day or something
Mello: your fault
Mello: not mine
Matt: Here we go again..
Mello: what?
Matt: It's always my fault, isn't it?
Mello: yes
Matt: Mello doesn't get enough chocolate. It's Matt's fault.
Mello; yeah
Matt: Mello's bike doesn't start. Matt's fault.
Mello: yep
Matt: The lock on the fuzzy handcuffs stops working. Obviously, it's Matt's fault.
Mello: duh, most likely you used them last
Matt: I wasn't the last one to use your leather pants, but when those got dirty you got all pissed at me over it.
Mello: well
Mello: you should have noticed earlier
Mello: and cleaned them
Mello; duh
Matt: I'm not your maid, Mell. No matter what costumes you make me wear.
Mello: but you look so cute XD
Matt: Yeah, yeah, harharhar.
Mello: come on
Mello: you know you love it
Matt: No, Mell, you're the one that likes looking like a girl, not me.
Mello: i.do.not.look.like.a.girl!
Matt: Heh, we've gone over this, Mell.
(a/n: about a half an hour passes and extreme boredom sets in on Mello's side…shocker there…)
Matt: ..Mell, you're aware the audio hack is still on.
Matt: I can hear you singing like a girl.
Mello; ...
Mello: please dont tell me you have video hack too
Matt: I learned from the last time.
Matt: Never gonna do that again.
Mello: well
Mello: erm
Mello: alright then
Mello: forget you heard that
Matt: Sure babe. I'll just forget all about it. After I post it on Youtube. 3
Mello: shut up
Mello; You're not posting anything
Matt: Oh? I'm not? :3
Mello: no
Mello; matt...
Mello: no
Matt: /snicker
Mello: NO
Mello: im bored
Matt: Damnit, Mello. You say you're bored every half hour.
Matt: Even though you know I can't do shit about it.
Mello: well i am
Matt: That's great.
(a/n: out of spite exactly a half hour later)
Mello: I am bored
Matt: So I've heard, Mello.
Matt: What do you want me to do about it.
Mello: i dont know
Mello; entertain me
Matt: Mell, I would if I could but I can't.
Mello: what r u doing anyway?
Matt: Me? Um. Uh. Just... playin' some DS, y'know.
Matt: ...
Mello: whats with the stuttering
Mello: your not really playng DS
Mello: are you?
Matt: I'm not really paying too much attention to the screen, that's all.
Matt: ...
Mello: r u reading fanfiction?
Matt: ..Why would I be?
Mello: I don't know, maybe because you are!
Matt: Um. Uh.
Matt: On the other hand, I know exactly what you're doing thanks to this little bug device.
Matt: Are you really -that- bored, Mello?
Mello: what do u mean?
Matt: That you're singing 'I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt'?
Matt: Really?
Matt: Come on, Mell.
Mello: well
Mello: you know its true
Matt: ..Sure, but. You're not made to sing.
Mello: shut up
Matt: I will when you will. 3
Mello: that's.it…
Mello: im hacking your hack
Matt: You can't even hack an iPod, Mello.
Matt: I'd like to see you hack my hack.
Mello: i will bug your computer right back
Matt: Oh? Go ahead and try.
Mello: mmk
(a/n: 15 min pause)
Mello: your singing voice isn't beautiful either, what r u singing?
Mello: chipmunks?
Matt: ?
Matt: ...
Matt: ...Nothing..
Mello: oh
Mello: and it abruptly stops
Matt: I have no clue what you're talking about.
Mello; yes you do
Mello: mr. caramelldansen
Matt: ..Fuck
Mello: You're singing
Matt: ..No I'm not.
Mello: yes u are
Matt: You're imagining things again, Mell.
Mello: no way
Matt: My voice can't reach that pitch.
Mello: you are singing
Matt: Nope. You're just just crazy.
Mello: im not, im actually rather impressed that you know all the Swedish and your voice actually is that bad
Matt: Thanks. I mean Fucking Near.
Mello: haha
Mello: go on u tube
Matt: Why.
Mello: look up matt & mello & boredom (a/n: good stuff)
Mello: it gives me a good idea
Matt: ..What, kill someone?
Mello; yeah
Matt: ...Why.
Mello: im bored
Matt; I know.
Mello: matt..
Mello: you are still singing
Matt: ..No I'm not
Mello; Girlfriend in Japanese to be exact
Mello: nods
Matt: /grumbles
Mello: the grumbling is better than your singing
Matt: You should know singing isn't my strong point..
Matt: I'm better at -other- things.
Mello: i can name one of those -other- things
Matt: Only one?
Mello: ok some
Mello; but im thinking of one...
Mello; damn it matt-puppy
Matt: What?
Mello: well lets just say
Mello: these pants didnt just shrink on there own accord
Matt: Mell, those pants don't fit you -anyway-.
Matt: Those damn leather things you wear constantly.
Matt: They do not fit properly. I should know. I watch.
Mello: ... wait you watch?
Mello: and they fit fine
Matt: No, they really don't. They're way too small.
Mello: well, is that why you enjoy taking them off so much
Matt: ..Part of the reason.
Mello: agian matt
Mello: you may think these pants are small
Mello: which they are not
Mello: but they do not spontaneously shrink
Matt: Unless you put them in the wash.
Mello: i mean while they are on my body damn it
Mello: And then you're forced to walk around in tight leather shorts aaaallll day looong
Mello: you know you would love that my matt-puppy
Matt: /snicker
Mello: but seriously mattie-kun
Mello: i said i was bored
Matt: Several times.
Mello: not that i wanted an erection
Matt: You know I don't know the difference.
Mello: pervert
Matt: Ahhh, yeah. And you're a saint
Mello: you know i am
Matt: All the people you've killed know it too, Mell.
Mello; well
Mello: i dont kill anyone who doesnt ask for it
Mello: even if they dont realize they were asking
Matt: Heh. I don't think saints kill people who're asking for it, Mell.
Mello: well i didnt ask for the erection
Matt: Sure you were.
Matt: You just didn't realize it
Mello: oy matt
Mello: i dont want this right now
Mello: your not here to fix it
Matt: I know, I know..
Mello: damn it
(a/n: even more Mello boredom… watches Re:Mello is Mellow on youtube, (great cosplayer))
Mello: have you ever smoked a big fat cuban cigar?
Mello: have you ever hitched a ride on a shooting star?
Mello: Have you ever seen red when it should have been yello?
Mello: whoa oh
Mello: have you ever been MELLO?
Matt: Mello, you don't need to write out the lyrics. I can hear your very feminine singing over the bugs.
Mello; fuck.you.
Matt: Yesplz.
Mello: matt
Mello: can sry
Mello: i cant fuck oer the internet
Matt: Sure you can.
Matt: It's a wonderful world called cybering.
Mello; cybering?
Matt: Yup.
Mello: how does it work, this "cybering"?
Matt: Well..
Matt: Jeesuz. Didn't you ever get this talk from L?
Matt: Hell, I did.
Mello: guess not
Matt: Wow. And I thought he always liked you before me.
Matt: I mean, he even told Near.
Mello: WTF
Mello: fucking near
Matt: Literally.
Mello; come agian?
Matt: Well, he knows how to cyber..
Matt: So he probably is right now.
Mello: by cyber you mean...
Matt: Yes. Over the internet.
Mello: wow.
Mello: tell me more about this cybering
-THE REST OF THIS CONVERSATION HAS BEEN CENSORED TO PROTECT SMALL CHILDREN-
Mello: oh i see
Matt: Indeed.
Mello: wow.
Matt: Wanna try?
Mello: FUCK YES!
-fin-