CHAPTER FIFTEEN (I think)

A/N- Okay, so my exams finished on Tuesday, but then I got this fever. And vomiting. Lots and lots of vomiting. But I'm alright now, and the new chapters out. From now on, there'll be one chapter a week, seeing how I only have Sundays to write on. If you're wondering, yes, we have school on Saturdays in this part of the world.

AND BRUTUS AND CASSIUS WILL GET TOGETHER. THEY ARE SOULMATES…I shall not break Brutus' heart. And review people.

Cassius

Brutus' was bugged for some reason…passing moods? What was that supposed to mean? PMS?

'Porch,' said Caius, 'I must say that I am very confused.'

'So am I,' admitted Portia, 'but that's what makes it fun, right?'

'Not all mysteries are solved,' said Titinius wisely, 'and some of them never will be.'

(A/N- I will finish this story, Tity, so keep your mouth shut…oh, I forgot, I am the writer and am making you talk. Sorry)

'I'm sure this mystery will be solved,' said Portia calmly, 'we have like, all of ancient Rome on our side.'

'Except this one guy,' noted Caius, 'and his short-skirted assistant.'

'So?' said Portia, and then raised her neck to look over her friend's head, 'oh look, Antony is here.' And indeed he was.

'Damn,' Caius mumbled under his breath. Why did that stupid Antony even exist? He would've done the world, and Caius a huge favour by simply not being there…

But he didn't do the world a huge favour and was there and walked slowly up to them, looking at the open, clear sky. The stars on it sparkled and twinkled, making the universe seem like a dream; dark, lonely, perfect, and yet not making any sense.

'The universe is a confusing place,' said Antony, on reaching the trio, 'I never did understand it.'

'I know,' said Titinius, conversationally, 'it's very pretty isn't it?'

'What?' asked Caius.

'The universe,' said Antony.

'Yeah, sure whatever,' was all that Caius could think of, and say. So that's what he said.

'Is this really the end?' asked Tintinius, 'I mean, living like this, forever?'

'That's what it seems like,' said Portia.

'I've told you once,' said Caius, 'I've told you a hundred times, this isn't heaven.'

'And why would you say that?' Antony asked inquisitively.

'It is only very obvious,' said Caius sharply.

'If you say so,' said Antony, with raised eyebrows.

'I'm only noticing the evident, and extremely obvious,' said Caius, 'which, I believe, you are only too stupid to notice for yourself. You're always too busy doing stuff with Cleopatra to notice such things'

'Hey,' said Antony, his feelings slightly hurt, 'Cleopatra VII is very nice. She gave me this bracelet, look-' and he showed them all a very exquisite, but very feminine-looking and pink bracelet with lots of expensive looking diamonds on it.

'Yeah,' said Portia impatiently, 'listen, you go inside, Titinius can go with you, Caius can stay with me…no Titinius, don't pout like that, you must learn how to live without your very handsome boyfriend…no Caius, you are not handsome.'

'But you said that I was,' Caius whined.

'I was joking,' Portia explained, 'anyway, Titinius, you can go help yourself to coke-,'

'But I want coke,' Caius argued.

'You'll get coke too, Cas,' said Portia, sounding much more tolerant than she actually felt, 'but right now we have to make plans…'

'And Caius just drank fifteen glasses of coke anyway,' Titinius said pointlessly.

'That's very nice,' said Portia, 'but…oh, look who it is, Julius Caesar.' Cassius groaned loudly at the sight of the man.

Caesar walked slowly and steadily towards them, head held high, apparently still feeling like he was the ruler of the world.

'Give me some drink Titinius,' he said, but received only a smack on the head from Titinius' side. No water. None at all.

'Hey,' said Caesar, who was now giving Antony a warm, manly hug.

'You're not even sick,' said Titinius pointedly.

'Oh, well, let's go get coke then,' Caesar shrugged and walked into the house, but not before treating Antony to a very formal handshake. Caius mimed throwing up behind their backs.

'Okay,' said Titinius, 'bye Cas, talk to your friend while I get coke with these guys.'

If "these guys" hadn't been nearby at that very moment, Caius would've warned his boyfriend against them with the excuse that they were "power hungry", "evil" and "mean".

'Ohhhh-kay,' said Caius, watching Titinius leave his presence.

'Cas,' said Portia urgently, 'I think that I um…I know how stupid this will sound, but er…'

'But what?' Caius asked, with his hands in his pocket in a very teenage way.

'But I, um, Cas, don't get all shocked…but I think I might have super powers.'

'Oh, yeah, sure,' Caius yawned.

'And I highly doubt that I am a guy.'

'But you are a guy,' said Caius, 'you told me. And even if you aren't, your mind is one.'

'I don't know what I was thinking; I am the most feminine person I know. I just said that I was a guy, because, well, I don't know what made me…and now I think I have super-powers. I am one crazed woman Cas…'

'You're not crazed. Okay, so maybe you are a little crazy, but then, everyone is. Once Antony thought he was a teapot.'

'Oh, yeah, sure, whatever…'

'No really,' said Caius, letting his imagination run wild, 'he was practically begging me to pour all the hot tea out of him. He said that it would burn him and ruin him and scar him and then finally kill him, because he had been the most expensive porcelain piece in the shop from which he came, and that he was so delicate and stuff that the other teapots were so ultra-jealous of him, they tried to break him once, but he single-handedly defeated them with his quick wit. They never dared to come near him again. And then a rich and beautiful lady named Cleopatra VII bought him for a hundred-million-billion-zillion-kazillion dollars. He was taken such good care of, and was fed on the best meat and wine, until one day, his rich lady decided to pour tea into him…'

'You're kidding!' said Portia.

'Of course I am!' said Caius, 'just like you are about your super-duper powers.'

'Fine,' said Portia huffily, 'don't believe me. You see what I can do…wanna see me lift that tree?'

Caius sighed and sat down on the muddy ground, getting his precious designer-jeans dirty and muddy and all that, like he hadn't a care in the world.

Portia plucked a huge oak from the ground at put it back in carelessly.

'See?' she said, her eyebrows raised.

Caius stared, 'aah-oh…um, ah…so that's super powers, um, ahh…I don't know…'

'Cool, huh?'

'Extremely,' said Caius and went up to another tree and tried to pull it out. Tired to pull out some more. And some more. And some more. And failed.

Portia smiled at him repeating, 'see?'

'You're very strong,' said Caius weakly.

'I know, that's what I was trying to tell you, idiot.'

'Oh,' said Caius, staring at his left foot, which was now tracing circles on the wet soil of Portia's garden.

'Yeah…look, its Casca,' Portia waved. Caius waved. Casca waved. There was a lot of simultaneous waving for quite some time, and it stopped as soon as their hands began to hurt.

'Where's the pizza?' asked Casca, his eyes filled with hope.

'It's inside,' said Portia, 'but listen Casca, what do you think is happening?'

'Why would you ask me?' said Casca, trying to raise an eyebrow and failing. He tried to figure out what Portia was talking about. He thought a bit, and then decided that she was talking about the whole "They kidnapped the old guy" and the "This is not heaven" issue.

'Because Cas was just telling me that you're very smart, that's true, isn't it Casc?'

'Wha-?' Caius looked considerably shocked, and then he said, 'of course he is…'

'My opinion?' said Casca, 'well, if you really do care, then its that even if this place isn't heaven, its pretty nice, free pizza and all…'

'No,' said Portia, 'I mean, why d'you think this is happening?'

'Because things happen 'because they're supposed to. You can't change your destiny.'

'Wha-?' said Caius, wondering what Casca was getting at.

Nothing, said the conscience, he's just plain crazy, talking about anything and everything, even things he doesn't understand. And silently, Caius, for the first time, agreed with his conscience.

Caius, the conscience continued, do you know what destiny is? You don't? Well, of course you wouldn't, you weren't meant to.

You're confusing me, Caius inwardly said.

And you know why? Because it was meant to happen.

The soothsayer knows our destiny, Caius thought.

But he can't change it, no matter how hard he tries. He can only read the signs. Caesar couldn't prevent his death no matter how hard he tried. It was written, it always was, and it always will be. He had all the signs laid down bare in front of his face, free for him to see .But did he see them? No, he wasn't meant to. That itself would've proved the signs wrong.

Are you okay, conscience? 'Cause you aren't fighting with me. It feels awkward.

I'm in a good mood and you're freakin' spoiling it!!!

Geez, its okay, conscience. Anyway, I'm busy right now, and so you may go.

I was trying to help you. okay- refuse my help. You're ruining your own stupid life.

I am not. You are.

I try to be nice for once, and this is how you repay me. You suck.

Blah blah blah.

Goodbye.

Caius yawned widely without bothering to cover his mouth and said, 'Casca Casca Casca…'

'What?' asked Casca.

'I don't get you.'

'I don't get myself,'

'That's okay,' said Portia, 'now you can go get pizza.' And she walked inside with Caius and Casca.

Brutus

Marcus Brutus did not just think that he was stupid; he knew that he was stupid. Some crazy meeting was about to be held right outside his room and he was the least bothered. He was, instead, watching T.V. of all the things he could have been doing, he was watching T.V., and "The Powerpuff Girls" at that. He couldn't help it, really, he just liked that show. That mayor guy was only too adorable, and Mojo Jojo was sexy in some weird kind of way. In this episode, Bubble's toy octopus was attacking her. It scared Brutus out of his wits…

'Mark,' came Portia's voice, 'come to the meeting, will you?'

'But Octi is that funny lobster guy!'

'Yeah, but you're supposed to address the crowd with a very nice speech,' Portia moaned, 'I promised them…'

'Oh, alright, but I'll tape this episode.'

'They're all repeats anyway…'

Marcus Brutus sighed and got off his chair and walked towards the door. The sight of him walking made Portia smile; he rarely got any exercise these days. It was good to see him move.

'Passing moods still on?' Portia asked, as Brutus nodded gloomily.

'You do get a lot of them, don't you?' Portia inquired, as Brutus nodded once again, looking ten times more gloomy if possible.

'That's alright,' said Portia, 'it's probably just a fever or something-,' she checked his forehead, 'your temperature's fine. I guess you're just plain crazy, then.' But she said it in a nice way, smiling as broadly as she could.

'Hey,' said Brutus.

'I see you've learnt the language of the normal,' said Portia, 'good for you. Now the "rag-tag people" will be able to understand you, in Casca's words.'

'I guess all the T.V did it,' said Brutus, but his accent was now a cross between Bubble's and Mayor's. Portia hoped that no one would notice.

Antony's POV

Jeez, I'm bored. Even as I sit here, drinking coke and listening to Julius' shit, I wish I was home, washing Cleo's dishes.

'You know,' says Julius, 'this sucks. I mean, Caesar is immortal. Caesar is mighty. And most of all, Caesar is Caesar! And Caesar is moi!'

I nod heavily. I do like Julius and all, he's a great guy, but he brags a lot. All he can talk about is himself. It's just him, him and him, and how brave he is.

'Do you know,' Julius continues, 'that that Cassius-who has a lean and hungry look about him- still thinks me weak? Hold him dangerous, my dear Antonius, for Caesar fears nothing.'

'Um,' I say.

'What I meant was,' says Julius, now back to normal, 'that Cassius has challenged me to a swimming competition.'

'WHAT???????????' I scream, causing a few people sitting around us to throw us warning glares, 'but Ju, you have epilepsy, falling-sickness…'

'Yeah,' says Julius calmly, 'but that's what doctors are for. I shall, of course, win, for the almighty Caesar never loses to anyone, especially stupid jealous conspirators who allow my best friends to go against me.'

'But I'm your best friend,' I moan.

'I mean my ex-best friends. Brutus left me…stupid man. I was, and am still, THE Caesar, and he just ditches me-like that.' Julius snaps his fingers aggressively.

'So, you're gonna out-swim him to prove you're better?'

Julius nods his head but manages to do it in a dramatic way, saying, 'For the great Caesar can out-swim anyone.'

'But that's not gonna prove anything, Ju, except that Cassius' words affect you.'

'It will prove that I am Aenas and that he is Anchises.'

'Who?'

'God knows.'

'Right-where's Cal?' I hastily try to change the subject.

'I don't know. Why?'

'Cleo wants to invite her to her girls only party. Since she, that is Cal was married to you and you were sleeping with her, that is Cleo.'

'I was not!'

'I meant in history, baby, not real life. In history, Cassius most certainly did not have blue eyes, and I highly doubt that "Julius Caesar" by Shakespeare mentioned it either.'

'Meaning?'

'Meaning, Ju, that this is neither history, nor Shakespeare.'

A/N- that button down there…see it? Press.