CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A/N-1. I'm back, and I want more flattering reviews (if you can manage it), though.

2. And I have decided that Lucius created the barrier after his wand was taken by Antony, by wandless magic.

3.I sense that the story is about to end soon. (THIS IS NOT THE ENDING CHAPTER)

4. This is a short chapter, but the next one comes tomorrow. (or at least its planned to).

'Hi fairy godmom,' said Caius weakly, 'hi real Shakespeare.'

The fairy godmother looked rather cheerful for such a moment.

'Hello dear,' she said, 'I have a surprise for you. I'm your conscience. I got into your head for fun. I'll tell you how I did it later.'

That WAS a surprise and Caius needed to know what it meant. He decided to speak his thoughts out loud.

'What-huh-why-how-?'

'That's very nice, Miss. Godmom,' interrupted Portia, who didn't like it when her friend talked gibberish, 'and it's good to see you've escaped, Mr. Shakespeare.'

'Hi guys,' said Shakespeare and waved to the crowd, who waved back.

Someone, however, didn't seem too pleased with the present situation.

'Whatever is this?' shrieked Dr. Evil, 'this is my moment of glory! I had you imprisoned! I had your laptop, I had you under me! However did you escape?'

'That, dear has a simple answer-,' said the fairy godmother, walking up to Dr. Evil and ruffling his hair-

'And how are you getting through my magical barrier?'

-'and the answer is that you are not in power.'

'Meaning?' asked Antony curiously.

'Meaning that like he controls us, someone controls him,' said the fairy godmother, 'and the author of this story, has decided to explain everything to you, because she felt ever so sorry for all of you. I am a representative of the author because self-insertion in stories is rather turning off. So, I, from the author's side, will explain.'

'Wait,' said Dr. Evil, you won't reveal my identity will you?'

'That will come later,' said the fairy godmom, 'now let me tell you guys something. First, this is all fan fiction.'

'Whatever that is,' mumbled Portia.

'Second,' the fairy continued, 'is that people are, at the moment, without your realization, reading this. I know, how embarrassing, but its life. I'm sure someone must be reading about the author too. So, it's not that unfair.

'Third, the author conveys her apologies for such an abrupt ending. Ending to the plot I mean, it's rather harsh, yes, but she decided to make it up to you with free ice-cream.'

Everyone cheered.

'The author's excuse was her exams. The usual,' the fairy godmother sighed, 'she promises millions of chapter length fan fictions, and a sequel to this after March 2008, which is when her Board examinations will finally end, leading to a three month holiday. She might write the sequel earlier, during these very summer vacations.

'Fourth is that the concept of being someone's imagination is all very difficult to understand, and she expects none of you to understand it, since she doesn't herself, and is writing whatever comes into her head.

'Fifth is that the free ice cream flavour is vanilla with hot chocolate sauce.

'And then come her sincere apologies to Dr. Evil, Calphurnia, and Lucius. They are all nice people and didn't deserve to be portrayed as they were. Ice cream to them too!

'Next point is that this is not the ending chapter; this is where the plot gets revealed. Now people's love lives will be concentrated on, so please no getting confused.

'So what I am trying to say is, you will still live here till you grow old and die. Your present age, everybody's present age, has been decided eighteen. I believe that many of you are bored of living here so long and would like to die and be reborn. You may go back to your uninteresting lives now. I also want to say that I was Caius' fairy godmother ever since he was in this story. Now, I shall explain how our very own Shakespeare escaped.

'Our author desired it, wrote it down, and sent me to help him out, which I did. The guards weren't exactly what you would call efficient, Dr. Evil, whose real identity I may reveal any moment,'

'On the contrary,' said Dr. Evil, 'My guards are very efficient.'

'Oh, and I wanted to say one more thing,' said the fairy godmother, ignoring Dr. Evil, 'Lucius did not use the Imperius curse, he used a love potion. He was too lazy too keep someone under a spell and be busy at it 24/7. Under the Imperius curse, the recipient's head goes blank, and I'm sure Titinius has memories of everything that happened?'

Titinius nodded stupidly, 'where's Cas?' The potion was still working.

'The antidote is with me,' said the fairy, and handed it (the antidote) over to Portia, who fed it to him. Titinius' eyes spun, his face turned red, green, blue and purple all at the same time and smoke emerged from his ears.

'So, everything's cleared up, I hope?' the fairy asked, 'if anyone has questions, they can always PM me. I am saying this from the author's side, of course.'

No body had understood what had just happened, and nodded as if to say that they had, because they didn't want to understand either. The old man, who had turned out to be Shakespeare was back, and they could easily return home and forget everything that had happened, after having their share of ice-cream, of course.

'And now,' the fairy godmother continued, 'the author requests Dr Evil to reveal his identity.'

'Why on earth would I do that?' Dr. Evil asked.

'Then she, from her JC workbook, makes me read out a character sketch of him, after which it will only be too easy to guess who he really is.'

'I bet I don't even have a character sketch,' said the doctor confidently.

'Its two lines long and…it can barely be called a character sketch, but whatever. Here we go,' the fairy took a small crumpled piece of paper out from her pocket and read, 'he does not have a defined personality in the play-,'

'Duh,' said Dr. Evil.

'-he is introduced into action to bring out and emphasize the irrational violence of the mob's reactions.'

'And?' asked Caius.

'That's it.'

'That's it?' the crowd echoed, and wondered which one of the numerous people they had vent their anger out on, and ended up killing, it could be.

'I once killed this guy called Greeko Freako with a stone,' guessed a citizen, 'maybe its him.'

'Once we got together and murdered a famous popstar,' said another.

'Oh no, no,' said the first citizen, 'he wasn't a popstar, he was the poet Cinna. We killed him because both his name and poetry sucked. And because he thought that wise people didn't marry. He obviously didn't know the greatness of my wife, she cooks, cleans, works, earns more than I do, and takes care of the kids…'

'She probably agrees with Cinna here-,' interrupted another citizen.

'FINE!' shrieked Dr. Evil, 'I am Cinna! Cinna the poet, not the conspirator. You killed me and got away with it! Shakespeare made you kill me and got away with it! Now the dumb fairy person told you guys who I am, and I'm pretty sure she'll get away with it too, cause everyone does! Back when I was in Rome, no one even bought the poetry I used to work ever so hard on. The critics made fun of me! My readers giggled at my tragic and beautiful poems! Not a tear fell from their eyes! No one appreciated my hard work and talent! And you know what? They actually got away without even paying me after buying, I mean, stealing my poems! I was broke all the time, so much that I even tried working at Roman Mc Donald's partime, but the boss kicked me out without paying me my due salary-,'

'I am sure your poetry is very nice,' said the fairy godmother assuredly, 'everyone here would absolutely love to hear one of your poems.'

'Really?'

'Really. Now recite something for us.'

'Alright, here goes-

There was once this big fat guy,

Who somehow learnt how to fly,

He flew over that big blue tree,

Over the heads of you and me,

But then he fell and began to cry-,'

'That was very touching,' lied everyone, 'most beautiful thing we have ever heard.'

'Yeah,' said Portia, pretending to agree. She covered her face with a hankie to prevent Cinna the poet from noticing her giggling. He, however, assumed that she was crying and beamed.

'Then do let me continue-,'

The crowd fought hard not to groan out loud and were forced to sit through an hour of painful poetry. Most of them, like Calphurnia, had cotton stuffed conveniently into their ears.

When it was all over everyone went out into the garden and had their share of ice cream, forgot about this incident and decided to concentrate on their love lives.