IT'S ALL ON CAMERA!
By Artemisia Moon
Author's Note: Enjoy, and sorry for the long update.
Disclaimer: Yup, I own InuYasha. I also invented the lightbulb and discovered the cure for smallpox. It's all me.
Dedication: This drabble is dedicated to shikonprincess15 for submitting the fiftieth review! Yes, people, I'm on cloud nine! Thanks for all your support, and thank YOU, Shikonprincess, for reviewing. POCKY FOR ALL! XD
Scene Eleven: The Thought that Counts
Rating: PG for some swearing
Pairings: InuYasha x Kagome
Genres: Fluff; attempted humour
Warnings: None really…maybe a bit of spoilers concerning Sesshomaru.
Summary: No matter what the gift, it's always the thought that counts. Uh huh, you just keep thinking that.
Scene Eleven: Heart Felt
Sequel to The Art of Giving
All was peaceful and pleasant in the land of Musashi. Birds chirped merrily, children laughed as they played, and cute, cuddly forest animals scrambled around innocently in a delightful game of tag.
That is, until it happened…
"UNCLE INNNNUUUUU!!!!!"
"The FUCK?!" The mentioned inuhanyou cursed as his ears cringed at the high screech. His five companions – Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippo – all turned around at the same time to witness the poor pained expression upon their leader's face. "What the hell was that?"
"Uhm…InuYasha, is that your brother?" the holiest of holy houshi stared incredulously at the approaching figure, nudging his friend-in-red sharply. "What did you do to aggravate him this time?"
"What do you mean what did I do? I didn't do any – " Pause. "Wait a minute…" Golden eyes turned to face the confused reincarnated priestess, whom was currently finding the dirt road that she was standing on to be very interesting…
"The hell, Kagome! How can he still be alive?"
"I never knew that it wouldn't work. Besides, if I knew that you were going to send it to Sesshomaru of all people, then I would have at least told you what the outcome would have been!"
"You told me it would kill him!"
"No I DIDN'T! Don't you dare go putting words into my mouth! If you get your sorry butt kicked for this prank, I have nothing to do with it."
"But you said that it kills dogs."
"You know what? I never - ARGH! Osuwari!"
"Wha - ?!"
SLAM.
Sango and Miroku stood a few feet back in safety, with Kirara and Shippo both perched upon their shoulders. Magenta eyes widened in realization as violet ones closed in fear of witnessing the agony of his best friend.
"Houshi-sama…does this mean that Kagome tried to kill someone?"
"Most likely, Lady Sango." Silence floated between the two couple, before Miroku remarked, "It seems that Lady Kagome isn't as innocent as we all thought she was."
"What was that, MIROKU?!"
"Uh…er…nothing, Lady Kagome." Sango rolled her eyes at his pathetic-ness.
And then…it happened again…
" UNCLE IIIIIIIINNNNNUUUUUU!!!"
InuYasha jumped up and cradled his head gingerly, shivering as the shrill sound continued to molest his ears. And with each passing second, it came closer…and closer…and closer…
A four-foot blur of black and yellow came running towards the InuYasha-tachi, screaming and giggling and laughing along the way. Her guardian, the infamous taiyoukai of the west, followed not too far behind, with his unconscious green vassal being carried by his nearly-deaf dragon.
"Uncle Inu Uncle Inu Uncle Inu Uncle Inu UUUUNNCCLE INUUUUUU!" Rin flashed everyone a gleaming smile, a small black hole remaining in the absense of a tooth. It was obvious that Jaken had passed out from the excessive…noise…and that the dragon was barely surviving.
It was a miracle alone how Sesshomaru remained standing.
The child bounced up and down, circling around the pissed off hanyou at an alarming rate as she sang the song, "I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu LOVES ME!!"
Sesshomaru calmly walked up towards his younger half-brother, and punched him square in the face with his good (and only) arm. "You insolent fool. Look at what you have unleashed into this world!" One clawed finger pointed towards his ward.
InuYasha flew back at the tremendous power of the impact and landed in a heap of rubble and earth.
Behind the scenes, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara lay on their stomachs behind a few bushes a few more feet back…observing the interesting situation at hand.
"Even I'm not that hyper after I have candy," declared Shippo sagely. Everyone nodded in agreement.
Rin continued to sing and dance and bounce around like some deranged killer bunny.
'Wait, so you didn't eat the chocolates?" InuYasha stared at his brother with remorse, growling and whining at the same time.
"They were too sweet for my taste."
"So you ate one?"
"Yes – how else would I have known what they taste like? You imbecile."
"Shut the fuck up."
"Such degrading language. What would Father say?"
"I don't give a damn. How come you aren't dead yet?"
Sesshomaru was taken back. Dead? What? So were those delightful brown delicacies poison? The NERVE! And here he thought that it was an actual gift – you know, "between the enemies" sort of thing.
"If it has not crossed your ignorant mind yet, half-breed, I am immune to many things, such as poison." Emphasis on poison there.
"Oooh…so what happened to all the chocolate?"
Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows in mockery. Could he really be that stupid?
InuYasha took one look at the now attempting-to-fly Rin and understanding dawned in his eyes. "I see."
Sesshomaru now turned to the woman in the Sailor Moon uniform. "Wench, how do you change her back from this…this horrific state?"
Kagome eyed the demon lord sympathetically, smiling nervously when his eyes began to flash red. "Uhm…she's just had too much sugar. There's nothing that we can really…do…"
Silence fell.
Suddenly, the road beneath the taiyoukai's feet broke and hovered in mid-air, courtesy of the lord's great demonic aura. "What?!" Red eyes glared menacingly as silver-white hair flew wildly around his porcelain face.
"No! That's not what I meant! Rin will be fine – after she's gotten rid of all her energy…"
At this, Sesshomaru calmed down immediately, and turned around, walking back towards his dragon and annoyingly-useless servant. "Since it is you who have started this, it is you who should end it. I will come for Rin in a few days."
"WHAT THE FUCK? YOU CAN'T DO THIS, YOU ASSHOLE!"
"And if a hair on her should be harmed, I will kill you all." With that, he left.
Well, not before he "woke" Jaken up and left him behind with strict orders about keeping an eye on his adoptive daughter. Jaken just fained again at the mere thought of it.
"Uncle Inu Uncle Inu Uncle Inu Uncle Inu…LET'S PLAY!! WHEEEEEEEE…."
"GET BACK HERE, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I WILL FUCKING SKIN YOU ALIVE! DON'T YOU DARE DUMP YOUR HUMAN ON ME! Hey…Sesshomaru? Sesshomaru? YOU HERE ME?!"
- One Week Later -
"I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu loves me!!" Pause. "I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu loves me!!" Pause. Inhale. "I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu loves me!!" Pause. "I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle In – "
InuYasha finally snapped. "MOTHERFUCKING NOISY PIECE OF BITCH-LIKE SHIT! I do not love you. Shut. Up."
Rin was quiet for two whole minutes. Everyone sighed in relief.
Inhale…
"I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu LOVES ME!!"
Kagome was too tired to even admonish the hanyou for swearing in front of the children. Kirara had flown away, horrified at the sudden chaos and now permanently scared of children. Miroku made up an excuse of going to "meditate in a cave and grow closer to the Buddha" and left. Sango just mysteriously disappeared, and was later found in her home village in hiding. Shippo ran after Miroku and promised to become a monk and shave his head only if he would GET HIM OUT OF THERE!
Only poor Kagome and InuYasha were left to tire out and take care of the notorious Rin. InuYasha decides that he has never fought such a formidable youkai, and that Rin would probably take even demons such as Naraku down.
Now there's an idea!
Kagome had no choice in the matter, since InuYasha threatened to destroy the well and her textbooks if she ever abandoned him like their so-called "friends" did.
Jaken never did help. He was presumed dead. He hadn't moved or regained his consciousness in five days, and was buried on the sixth day somewhere in the middle of nowhere. It was only later did they know that he was not dead, but was only in a coma, and had clawed his way through the dirt and crawled back to his lord's side.
"I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu LOVES ME!! I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu LOVES ME!! I love flowers, I love tea, I love dollies and Uncle Inu LOVES ME!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! Will this hell never end?" InuYasha screamed into the sky, knuckles cracking as he contemplated on whether or not just to kill the kid right then and there.
"I double that," murmured the exhausted futuristic miko quietly.
And…CUT!
A/N: And the moral of this story is, to never ever ever ever ever give children sweets. Or chocolate, for that matter. That is, if you want to stay alive.
Please review!!