[DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 5: FEEL

alice. day 4, 3 am.

It was hard to keep up with the human pretences, it was too early for the hallways to be too populated, but humans still roamed the halls. I was being impatient, I recognized that, but I needed to see her. I could see her in my mind, walking into that room, I could see her. But it's never the same.

As the various people passed, I willed them to go faster, to clear the way. I needed to move faster. Jasper squeezed my hand, I looked beside me and smiled, squeezing his. "Your nervous."

"I know. And excited." He smiled. "And you look guilty."

Jasper nodded, "I can't help but feel this is all my fault."

"It could've been anyone's fault, Jasper. We're all just as attracted to the scent of blood."

"Not all of us." He frowned.

"What about me? I didn't see it coming."

"You shouldn't have needed to. If I wasn't so—"

"Jasper, this isn't your fault. It's just how things worked out." I wanted it to sound final, but this was an argument that never would have any finality.

Finally, we came to her room. Carlisle had just made the arrangements for her to have a more private room, if she was going to have vampires visiting, it would be a necessity. As a group, we weren't very inconspicuous.

As we walked in, I felt Jasper stiffen. I squeezed his hand, closing the door behind us with inhuman speed, and going to her bed. Jasper sat down in the chair furthest across the room. "Bella..." What else was there to say? She was so... so broken. "Why did this happen to you? You've done nothing to deserve this... Bella..." I held her hand carefully, feeling the too-prominent bones and the weakened pulse. "Jasper, this is our doing. Not the scars, the broken bones. She's so... Damn it. You can see it and she's not even... God... I will never forgive him." I looked back at her, stoking her face, feeling the warmth of her skin under my fingers.

"She feels lost, and confused." He said after a minute of silence, "She's scared of something." I looked over at him, nodding. "She feels worthless. She feels like it's not worth it. She's done. She doesn't want to live."

carlisle. day 4, noon.

I tried not to think about it, I was counting the tiles on the floor, attempting to keep him out of my head. It seemed to be working though, his expression made that clear. Apparently my control wasn't at it's best though, for at one point during our travel to her room did he say: "A surgical patient? Why would I need to see..."

"I just want you to see her" I said, he cocked a brow. We were almost to her room.

"Why?" Curiosity killed the cat, I thought, and Edward smiled. Small, but genuine.

"Because, I need you to." I said, stopping in front of the door. I took a deep breath then, and looked at him straight in the face. "When you go in, Edward, don't think about it too much. Just feel." It was then that I saw his calm mask quake a little. She wasn't ever far enough from his mind, that the vaguest words could bring him to think of her. I took another deep breath, and opened the door, hoping for the best.

edward. day 4, noon.

I wasn't sure what to expect, first when I came to the hospital. He had told me that he wanted to meet me at noon in the hospital early this morning, just to come by his office. Nothing more than that. His thoughts left everything to be desired. He was counting, numbers, objects, whatever he could find to count, and he was counting them. He was counting tiles as we went through the hospital. But he slipped. A couple times, not really big things but it was just enough to know that it was a surgical patient, suffering from wounds commonly associated with bear attack victims. I asked about the patient. Why did I need to see her. Curiosity killed the cat, he thought, and I had to smile at the plain absurdity of it.

And then, we reached the door.

A/N: Wow. This was fast, but then again, it is short. I tried to make it longer by tacking Edward onto the end, but his thing is a little short. Anyways, I hope I made you feel a little depressed and a little hopeful. It's not a very good thing to say, but I'm going to be honest here. Anyways, back to my original purpose of writing an other's note ... I love reviews. They make me feel all warm and happy inside because you cared enough to review but, and even though I'm happy, it would make me much, much happier to hear your actual thoughts and critisms about the story. Can we make it a goal, to say atleast one specific event or thing you liked about this chapter or share your views on where you think this story is going or whatever. And if you have anything negative to say, put it out there, just keep it constructive. Just take a minute or two more to tell me what you think about the story. I REALLY, REALLY want to hear some real views.