Disclaimer: Don't own them!
Note: Hi everyone! Before beginning this chap, I wanted to say something: Rogue and Remy aren't really a couple yet, are they? So he wasn't technically cheating on her. Ok, it was just that. Here it goes.
Chapter 7: Reasonable doubts.
"It's done" he shrugged, putting the cell phone in one of the pockets of his coat. Now, all what was left to do was figuring out if he should tell Rogue they wouldn't be together that night.
But what would he say? He didn't want to lie to her, but he couldn't just tell the truth either.
So he took the main stairs and went straight to the garage. He couldn't avoid feeling like a damn coward, but he kept telling himself it was better off this way: maybe she'd get mad at him and wouldn't want to talk to him ever again. Maybe it wouldn't be that simple, though; he knew she wasn't like most of the girls.
But it was unnecessary to think about this right now. All he wanted to do was to get her out of his head, and what could be better to do so, than a fine, sexy blonde?
Driving his bike, he relaxed; the speed always made him feel good, like he was in control of everything around. However, it seems the more we try to block out a thought, the more it stays stuck in our minds, and it won't leave us alone.
And he couldn't stop thinking about Rogue. About what she said: I feel so good being with you. It wasn't the first time somebody say this to him, but it was actually different when pronounced by her lips, like there was an entire world of meaning behind each word. And he felt it too: it wasn't just having a good time, it was feeling each second was priceless…
"What's wrong with y', homme?" he imaginarily slapped himself, realizing he was starting to sound like the script of a romantic flick.
It had never happened before: being with the same woman (and only that woman) for three weeks; it was definitely a record for him. If she happened to be extremely hot, he would spend three or four days with her, but then he unavoidably went bored and moved on to another one. But this hadn't happened with Rogue. It seemed the more he had her, the more he talked to her and just spent time with her, the more he wanted; he couldn't get enough of their unique, meaningful, ironic and sometimes crazy conversations.
But when did he start to be interested in a girl's brain, anyway?
These changes inside of him had arrived in tip toes, without him noticing them, and now he had all of them in his face, claiming actions to be taken and decisions to be made. But why? Why couldn't he just keep things as they were with her? Maybe… because he knew she deserved better; she deserved someone faithful, honest, who would love her without question.
And he didn't think he was the right guy for that job. He was never good either at commitment or at sticking around in one place for too long. It just wouldn't work.
When he parked his bike in front of the luxury building, he hoped this Christy was still as hot as he remembered; that'd be enough to make him wake up from that sort of hallucination Rogue had put him into.
(…)
He still couldn't believe she asked him if those funny words he used to say were in Italian or Greek, or what.
"Funny words…!" he huffed, half annoyed, half in mock, but not surprised at all; this woman seemed to be part of the Girls of the Playboy Mansion cast: died hair, big breasts, freaky attitude, and no signs of intelligence whatsoever inside her head. Now that she was sleeping by his side, he felt tempted to knock, knock on her forehead and ask "is there somebody in there? Don't think so." Besides, blondes always reminded him of Belladonna, so he almost expected to meet the assassin's cold and manipulative features once Christy turned around.
But he rubbed his eyes, dropping those crazy ideas, and sat; he spotted his coat on the floor, next to the bed, so he grabbed it and looked for a cigarette in the pockets. He hoped nicotine would help him to get rid of that sensation of being in the wrong place, but after a while of observing grey smoke circles ascending to the ceiling, it hadn't got any better.
The furniture wasn't familiar, the bed wasn't comfortable, and he didn't even want to hug her or cuddle with her, or anything. She was just a stranger that didn't mean a thing to him.
And he felt like a stranger to himself too. But why? This is who he was, this is what he'd always done… what was different now?
He smoked another cigarette.
Then, he closed his eyes and pictured Rogue's white locks, her stunning green eyes, her voice…
"Merde" he muttered to himself: "Remy's truly fallen for une femme dis time."
Just as she had told him a couple of times, that she hated to pretend, he realized he couldn't stand doing it either: he couldn't stay in this place any longer, so he stood up and put his clothes on as fast as possible.
"Runnin' away from a playmate's room… who'd have thought?"
He was almost done, when he heard her moaning something:
"Are you leaving this soon?" Her voice was so shrill and childlike, now that he came to think of it.
"Oui… Yeah. I've got… stuff t' do."
"Awwwee" she pouted, stretching: "Can I have some kissy kissy before you leave?"
Remy stared at her for a few moments and made his choice:
"Sorry, but I'm kind of in a hurry now. Thanks for everythin' an'… au revoir" he went out the door.
"Okay… call me!" The girl rolled on the bed and frowned, trying to think deeply: "What did he say? Our while?"
(…)
He'd expected Rogue to be upset, maybe reproaching, and even ignoring him like that time in his first dinner in the big and formal dining room. But instead, she spent the whole day treating him like he was Kurt, Scott or Bobby: just normal, like nothing ever happened between them, or somebody washed her brain. There were no knowledge looks in her eyes, no nothing. And the worst part was that there were people around her at every moment, so he couldn't get to talk to her in private.
He knew he had to say something, though he still didn't know what. Something to keep her around, to make her understand he needed her help to admit his own feelings, as selfish as this might sound.
So he waited until the night arrived and dinner finished, so he could finally head to her bedroom (would the door be unlocked this time…?) but first, he decided to go have something to drink in the kitchen.
When he first stepped a foot in the room, Rogue collided with him, pouring on the floor a little bit of the orange juice she was holding. But if somebody in this house knew how to hide her emotions, that was her, who buried her daze as deep as she could to look at him into his eyes, say "Sorry", and keep walking her way.
He'd have rather her to be angry, over this.
"Chere, wait…" he grabbed her by an arm, and she gave him such a hard and undefined look (was it deception? Sadness?) that he let her go right away: "I need t' talk t' y'."
Just like her facial disguise was suddenly broken, her expression suddenly became more relaxed and genuine: "Yeah… me too."
"Bien… tell me." He said this only because he still didn't know what to say, but he knew for sure whatever she had to say wouldn't be any good.
Her fingers tightened around the moist glass. The words were right there, but taking them out was so hard, she had to take a deep breathe to say it:
"Ah… Ah can't do this anymore."
Nobody said a word for a few seconds.
"All right, wait: if dis is 'bout last night, I can explain it, it's…"
"No! No, Remy!" she tried to clear it out: "See, that's the thing: yah don't have to explain anythin' to me."
"Why not? I want t'!"
"No, no; yah can go an' do whatever yah wanna do, simply 'cause… 'cause we're just friends, aren't we?"
Truth be told: yes, they were technically just friends; special ones, though, but friends. In spite of it, he knew all of this was wrong somehow, but before he could say anything else, she continued:
"Ah might have been a little virgin when all of this started, but Ah'm not stupid, yah know?" she put the glass on the table and brushed white locks of hair behind her ear: "Ah knew very well what Ah was getting' mahself into, which is casual sex, Remy, an'…"
"But chere, I…"
"No, no: Ah know yah know it, Ah'm just lettin' yah know that Ah know it too." She was making a tremendous effort for her voice not to break; it was so painful and strange all of this, but she had to do it: she didn't want to expose her heart to this anymore: "An' Ah was cool with it for a while, but… not anymore! Ah don't wanna be part of these… games anymore, 'cause Ah don't wanna get hurt."
He understood this, of course, but what she didn't seem to have a clue of, was the fact that he didn't want to hurt her. All he wanted to do was… to fix things.
"D'accord, but listen t' me for a sec, 'kay?"
"This is pointless, Remy; what we gotta do is move on with our lives an'…"
"Non, I listened t' y', listen t' me now!"
A single tear that rolled down her right cheek was brusquely wiped away by her bare hand. Then, she rested her back against a wall and crossed her arms, already exhausted on her inside of this conversation.
"Chere, y're right 'bout a lot of things, but…" it was always so easy to be honest with her, so why not this time? "But y're different."
"What do yah mean Ah'm different?"
"Y're different from anyone else I've ever met. An' I know dis might sound crazy, but I need t' be with y'."
"Ah can't be with yah like this." she sighed.
"Den let's change it, Rogue! Let me make it right, let's stop hidin' from everyone an' just be t'gether." He didn't analyze these words, he just pronounced them, and once he did, he couldn't believe he actually felt them.
"Yah kiddin' me?" She stayed staring at him, frowning in complete scepticism: "Remy, yah really think yah can be with someone, an' only with that person? Yah think yah won't cheat, when the first opportunity shows up?"
"Listen, I can…"
"'Cause Ah don't want anybody cheatin' on me! Ah don't think Ah could resist that…" her eyes were glittering with tears again, so he came closer to her and rested his hands on her shoulders:
"Chere, we can work this out; I care 'bout y'."
"Do yah?" she pierced him with a sarcastic glare: "Yah don't care 'bout anybody… but yahself."
He gave a few steps back, visibly shocked:
"What, y' think cold-blooded Remy can't have feelings for once in his life?"
"Exactly!" she yelled.
"Well, well!" he laughed ironically, looking around: "I don't know what de hell am I doin' 'n dis house anymore!"
And she didn't say anything; she just stayed standing there, gritting her teeth and cursing herself for not being able to hold back her tears.
Remy nodded, taking in her silence: "Y' got it."
He hadn't yet turned around to leave, when the door was open unexpectedly, letting Storm, Scott and Kitty in.
"All right!" the younger girl shrieked: "Who wants some chocolate ice cream we just bought?"
It couldn't have been more awkward: immediately, they all noticed Rogue's misty eyes and moist cheeks, and Remy's upset frame. It was like time stopped for a few moments, as everyone stayed paralyzed, except for Rogue who tried to dry her face with the sleeve of her sweater. Next, Remy took a last look at her and walked out of the room, passing Logan on his way.
"What's up with that Cajun?" he mentioned, entering the kitchen, and then raised a brow: "What's going on here?"
Rogue was staring at the floor, wishing she was Kurt, so she could evaporate herself out of this place. Kitty was staring at her with eyes widely open, while Storm tried to calm things down:
"Nothing, we were just talking and we have learnt that Gambit has a temper, as well as you" she glimpsed at the Canadian.
"Don't you try to fool this nose, Stormy" he said: "The three of you just arrived a second before me. Now, Rogue: what's going on?"
She swallowed hard, and answered: "Nothin'" leaving right away.
"Hey, kid!" Logan huffed, but she didn't look back.
He narrowed his eyes at everyone now, as Scott said weirdly:
"I do want ice cream, Kitty."
Note: This chap was a little bit harsh to write at points, I mean, the part when Remy is going on his bike, and stuff. I hope it's ok, but anyway, please tell me what you guys think about it, and about the whole chappie. Btw, the last one got 25 reviews! Yay! That's the most I've got for a chap EVER, so thanks so much to each and everyone of you; yeah, I'm talking to you! ;-)
Next chap: Will Rogue run after Remy? Will he run after her? Will he really leave the mansion? Will Cyclops get his ice cream??