It was a dream.

None of this was real. None of that searing pain in his head, that terrifying falling sensation, those flashbacks that trumped his greatest nightmares – it didn't actually exist.

Freak! Stay away from us!

Voices. Many voices. Yet they all sounded the same. Where were they coming from?

Where was Joshua? Why did it hurt so much? Where was that glorious reflection now? No doubt shattered into dust, along with the promise of a world that welcomed him with open arms.

We don't want you! Get back!

Forget Joshua. Where was anybody? The ground had vanished beneath him; the imaginary sky above twisted into an ever-shifting spectrum of black and blues, a bruise on his cloudy vision; each and every feeling had been stolen from him, funneled into the throbs, amplifying them to an excruciating level.

But he can't help it. That's just the way he is. The way he's always been.

Always been a loner, always been too far away to touch them. It's like they lived somewhere else entirely, somewhere he wasn't allowed to go. It was enough to make him scream.

In fact, he was screaming. The flashbacks just kept repeating themselves in his head like a horror movie. He was on his knees, hands clamped around his head, screeching at the top of his lungs. Everyone was gathered around him, pointing and laughing.

Look at him! He's pathetic!

What's the matter, can't you fight back?

You'll never be like us!

Stop trying!

Stop—

"Stop it!" his voice came out strangled. He screamed again and again and again. If only it would end! "God, just stop!"

They grew to monstrous heights, warping into the true demons they were. They batted and prodded him with their twisted claws, hissing their hungry lust. Living shadows, conjured from pure darkness, born to torment him into oblivion.

It's alright, Sho, one tried to coo to him. Instead, it sounded like an angry growl.

Just let us help you, begged another. Yet again, a devil in disguise.

You'll make friends! It was only the first day—

There are so many left—

And you get to live them all!

"No! Don't make me remember this!" Sho pleaded, doubling over. "Don't make me remember! They were all against me from the start! I saw their faces! They set me up! They lied to me!"

Smiling, he exited the lunch line with his tray in tow. He swiveled his head in search of a place to sit. Meandering his way over to an empty spot, the group of students already gathered there turned and gave him a collective glare.

"You can't sit here."

Why couldn't he play tag, too? He was pretty good, but everyone grumbled and shuffled inside when he joined in.

Everyone got a cookie but him. How was that fair? He cried. They just made fun of him even more.

He sat at the table alone. The candles on his cake were starting to melt. The music – the newest track from Japan's hottest rock group – was blaring almost desperately in the background. No tower of presents, no laughter, no joy was to be found anywhere.

He must've sent out at least twenty invitations.

As the memories piled up, Sho shrunk back further and further. The shadows followed him, their warmth circling his body.

So ugly, weren't they?

Hideous! They didn't understand you!

But we do.

We can get rid of all those unpleasant things you call "memories".

Sho peeked out from the legs drawn snug to his chest.

"Really?" Why did he always have to whimper? He really was pathetic.

Of course. Why would we deceive you?

We can make you into anything you want.

You can be like you've always imagined.

All you have to do is give up your identity.

For your identity…

…is what is most precious to you, is it not?

Sho nodded. Anything to escape this hell. "It's what's… most precious to everyone, right?"

But for you especially.

Without this identity, you would never be the person you are today.

Your memories… your appearance… your life.

That is what comprises your identity.

It is the soul of all things.

Yours is special. The potential within it…

Allow us to unlock it!

Surrender your identity, Sho Minamimoto!!

What little sanity he still possessed was warning him against trusting the malevolent creatures. It was merely a ploy to further their own warped goals, whatever they happened to be. Take a deep breath, settle down, and focus. That was the more rational way to handle this.

He would've taken that advice, too, had his perfect reflection not appeared in front of him that same moment.

"Little radian," it said gently. "Please don't cry. Why don't you pair up with me? We can rock the world 'til infinity plus one! All you have to do is…"

Repeat after us.

His reflection had him brainwashed from the second the words left his lips. He mouthed their hypnotic mantra robotically.

"Yes. I will."

I am no longer Sho Minamimoto.

"I am no longer Sho Minamimoto."

I will enter this Game under the sole and absolute authority of the Composer.

"I will enter this Game under the sole and absolute authority of the Composer."

Who cares if what he was saying didn't make any sense? All he wanted to obtain was his beautiful reflection. Everything else was moot.

I will moderate the Game according to his rules and his law.

"I will moderate the Game according to his rules and his law."

My entry fee is thus—

The verbatim served a well-timed distraction from his reflection gradually slipping into his body.

"My entry fee is thus—

The whole of my identity from the RG.

"The whole of my identity from the RG."

Should I disobey these terms in any way, I will be subject to immediate erasure.

"Should I disobey these terms in any way, I will be subject to immediate erasure."

To you, Composer, I deliver my binding contract.

"To you, Composer, I deliver my binding contract."

I am yours to use as you see fit.

"I am…"

His eyelids were drooping, his throat going numb. Breathing was becoming a bother, so he stopped fighting off the encroaching suffocation.

His reflection was gone. He could hear the heartbeat in his hears, slowing, slowing, and then…

Sho… Sho!

Nothing.

His world went black.

- - - -

"Sho! Answer me, Sho!"

The first thing he noticed was that he was not alone.

"Thank goodness… I was starting to think you wouldn't wake up. Kariya, fetch me some water."

"You got it, boss."

"Hey, how come he gets all the special treatment? I was like that awhile back, too! B-but… for some reason, I can't remember why…"

"You wouldn't remember what you ate for breakfast if your life depended on it, Uzuki."

"What was that, blondie?!"

"People, people, please. The Composer is growing agitated."

"Indeed. His lord Composer has missed his afternoon tea."

"Oi, ram crotch, it's 'cause you people wouldn't stop bitchin' for two seconds! Give the kid some air."

"Says the guy who makes his living screaming incoherently into a microphone…"

"H-hey, you leave my mic outta this!"

"Silence," Joshua commanded. This quieted them instantly. "You all know better than to heckle a fellow Reaper. Wait outside for now. I'll join you in a bit."

"Rea… per?"

Sho rubbed at his eyes, shifting in Joshua's arms. He sat up on the plush couch, only to have Joshua push him back down.

"Don't move yet," he advised. "You're probably still sore. Here."

Joshua poured a glass of water from the pitcher sitting on the coffee table and held it out to Sho.

"Drink."

Sho gulped down the water without a second thought. Chuckling, Joshua began to pour him another.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Confused. Where am I?"

And since when do I have a tattoo?

"We call this place the Dead Gods' Pad," Joshua said, amusement flickering in his eyes. Joshua seemed to know something he didn't.

"Who were all of those people, then?" Sho continued his line of questioning. He was going to get to the bottom of this. He had a sneaking suspicion this boy held all the answers.

"They're your friends, Sho. Don't you remember?"

I don't know him. Or this… Sho character. What exactly am I supposed to be remembering?

Sho's glass rolled out of his hand as he suffered a sudden cringe, clutching his head. His mind grasped at a passing thread of a memory, but it was thin, and quickly slipped away. But he did see the boy, which meant he was telling the truth – about his acquaintances, at least. Joshua did nothing except leer during the memory gap.

"Yeah," Sho finally nodded after composing himself. "It's weird, but my memory's a little fuzzy."

"I think it might have been something you ate. Higashizawa did make that spicy chicken stir fry last night."

The name didn't ring a bell, but he found that he was laughing along with Joshua anyway. "That guy comes up with the craziest stuff. One of these days he's gonna kill me."

Damn, did I hit puberty a second time, or what? I sound like I'm on 'roids…

"Who would want to slay an adorable angel like you?" Joshua teased him, curling up on top of his chest. He traced one of the black streaks on his cheek with a suggestive look in his eyes.

"Eh?!"

Sho's shock was muffled by Joshua's demanding kiss. His first instinct was to resist, but something about Joshua's lips on his relaxed him. Sho slowly responded, wrapping a firm arm around his back.

It was all coming back to him now. Of course he knew Joshua – that was this kid's name – and everyone else. Why had he doubted himself like that? Just a momentary lapse of judgment, he supposed, letting the thought drift away and losing himself in the moment.

"Mmm, Joshua," Sho purred. "Why are you so… good at this… ah!"

Joshua broke their embrace temporarily to reposition himself over Sho's crotch, draping his arms around his neck. Stealthily he removed his cap, threading his fingers through the wild ashen hair.

"I try not to kiss and tell," Joshua giggled. He gyrated his body, reveling in Sho's breathy reaction.

"Joshua…!"

"I see that got your attention, my coy little lover. Or maybe, not so little…"

Joshua ground his hips to illustrate his point in case it went unnoticed. Sho moaned and practically tore at his shirt to remove it in his haste; the impatient Reapers outside had other plans for the two, however.

"Compooooserrrrrr!" Uzuki yelled. "Konishi's being a total bitch again! And Kitaniji just tried to grope me!"

"T-that is a lie, Composer! I did no such thing! She just wants your attention, like always!"

"And I am not a bitch! It's not my fault you're always so sensitive about things!"

"How else are you supposed to react to being called a cheap skank?!"

"Recruiting that witch may have been a mistake," Joshua mumbled.

"What was that you said?"

"Nothing!" Joshua chimed a little too brightly, but Sho was none the wiser.

"Why do they keep calling you Composer?" Sho grumbled, irritable at having the mood soured. "Sounds like a pet name, or something."

"It is," Joshua shrugged it off. "It's my pseudonym here."

"But why would you go by another n…"

Joshua sealed a finger over his lips. "I'll tell you later. Let's go see the others before they get any worse. And trust me, they do get worse. Much worse."

Joshua kissed Sho lightly, then rolled off of him and skipped to the doorway.

"Come on, slowpoke!" he waved. Sho smiled. The boy's enthusiasm was contagious. He wasn't too shabby in the looks department, either. Maybe he'd get a second round of their tryst a little later. He hoped so, anyway.

Teenage horniness aside, Sho couldn't manage to fully dismiss the mirage-like thoughts prickling at his mind. He was pretty sure random seizures didn't check out as normal, even more so when they trigged alien memories. He trusted Joshua… but why did he trust Joshua? Just because was too flimsy of a reason. He felt like he had known him for forever, but had he really?

I guess there's no point worrying about it now. I should ask the others about it when I get the chance, though, Sho concluded. Joshua played a mean game of hard-to-get, so any information he got wouldn't exactly be forthcoming. It was too much of a hassle to contemplate anyway when he still had one killer of a migraine.

"Alright, hold your horses," Sho laughed, hurrying to Joshua's side. In his reassuring way, he linked his hand with Sho's.

"All set?" he asked cheerfully.

"Always am," Sho winked in reply, and they were out the door.

to be continued