Sorry for any errors, but I either post this now before the DVD ends or it doesn't go up at all. I am so glad Disney has already eaten my niece's soul, because I don't know what I would do without Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Thanks again to everyone who reviewed.
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You blow a breeze and brand
Your breath into my mouth.
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Tuesday
The news about Lilly and Cara was all over school the next morning. Nobody seemed upset, though, or even disgusted like they had been yesterday. Everyone was...excited. Miley heard at least thirty people talking animatedly about their date as she stalked the short distance from the door to her locker. She was alone because Lilly had texted her to say that Cara's older brother was driving them. She'd offered to have them stop and pick up Miley too, but Miley had felt like walking. Very fast.
Junior almost fell out when she opened her locker. Miley pushed the bag of flour back in and turned it so the cartoon face was towards the back of the locker. That thing was so cheerful it was irritating.
"Hey," Lilly said from behind her.
Miley spun around. "Where's Cara?" she asked bitterly, taking in the sight of Lilly alone, her face almost as cheerful as the one on their flour baby.
The cheerfulness dimmed a bit. "Uh, at her locker?" Lilly said, going to her own and opening it. "Why?"
"Given the way everyone's talking about you guys, I wouldn't have thought you'd want to be apart for more than two seconds," Miley sniped.
Lilly's lips thinned into a hard line. "And on Friday everyone was talking about you and me sleeping together," she said. "You believe that one, too?"
Miley didn't answer. That had been different. She'd known that wasn't true. This time Lilly had spent two hours getting coffee with Cara Morris and ridden to school with her, and suddenly everyone was acting like they were the new hot couple.
Lilly got a book out and shut her locker, turning to face Miley. "What is wrong with you?" she asked. "Is it your head?"
"What?" Miley said. There wasn't anything wrong with her. Or her head.
"You said you had a headache yesterday?" Lilly said, raising an eyebrow.
Oh, yeah. "No, it's – "
"Yo, Truscott," Mark Adams called, crossing the hall towards them. Mark was quarterback on the football team, and everyone thought he'd go straight to varsity when he went to high school next year. "Way to go, man. I tried to get Cara Morris to go out with me for like three months."
"I guess now you know why she wouldn't," Lilly said, smiling at him like it was normal to have the most popular guy in school come up to her in the hall and compliment her for going out with another girl. Like just yesterday Mark Adams hadn't been making rude comments about Lilly behind her back and acting like he'd get the bird flu if she came anywhere near him.
Mark laughed. "You're okay, Truscott. Up top." He held up a hand and Lilly slapped it with her own. "Dude, you should come to the game this Friday. Bring your girlfriend." He started to amble off down the hallway.
"Maybe," Lilly called after him, and he raised a hand to show he'd heard. The rest of the hall had fallen silent during their conversation, and now the low tide of voices rose again, sounding even more excited than before.
Miley stared at Lilly intently. "What?" Lilly asked.
"So she's your girlfriend now?" Miley said.
Lilly frowned and shrugged. "I don't know. It's not like we talked about it or anything. But I had a nice time yesterday, and we're gonna go see a movie on Friday. She's really funny, Miley, you're going to love her, I promise. Yesterday when we were walking to Starbucks, she – "
"I think my headache's coming back," Miley interrupted. It would if she had to listen to all the supposedly funny things Cara Morris had said yesterday. She couldn't believe Lilly went out for coffee one time and now she sort-of had a girlfriend. Didn't anyone else think things were going too fast? She almost wished everyone at school was still calling Lilly a freak so maybe she would slow down and think about this a little.
No. She didn't wish that. She didn't want Lilly to have to go through that. But...she wished she could go back to Friday morning and pick Richard Bruce for her partner. Or even Dandruff Danny. Then none of this would have happened. "I'm going to go put my head down on my desk until class starts."
"Miley!" Lilly said as Miley walked away. Miley picked up her pace and let the flow of students swallow her.
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Cara Morris sat with them at lunch. Lilly asked her to, but Miley claimed the seat next to Lilly before Cara could. She and Lilly always sat next to each other. Just because Lilly might possibly have a semi-girlfriend didn't mean that was going to change. Cara sat next to Oliver, across from Lilly. People kept coming up to talk to Lilly and Cara. To congratulate them. Miley couldn't understand why. It wasn't like they were getting married or anything.
"It's so weird how cool everyone is about this," Lilly said after the entire basketball team stopped by for high-fives and fist bumps, and a couple of the guys Lilly hung out with at the skatepark came to see if she was going to skate today. For some reason, they thought it was be 'totally awesome' if Cara came to watch. Miley had gone to watch Lilly skate tons of times, and no one had thought that was totally awesome, or come by at lunch to just see if she was going. "Especially after yesterday."
"Yeah," Cara laughed. "I guess one lesbian is gross, but two together are hot. It must be a guy thing." It was a guy thing. Or at least it seemed what had happened was that a couple guys, popular guys, guys like Mark Adams, had decided it was hot and not gross, and everyone else was following their lead. There were still a couple people making faces and comments, but now they were the minority.
"Oh, come on," Oliver said. "That's just simple math."
The three girls stared at him, and then Miley and Cara both reached over and hit him on his shoulders.
"Ow!" Oliver howled, rubbing at the injured areas. "What, you guys didn't cover that in your class?"
Miley repeatedly stabbed her fork into the so-called meatloaf on her tray while Lilly threatened Oliver with further bodily harm if he didn't stop acting like an idiot. Cara Morris wasn't allowed to hit Oliver. No one was allowed to hit Oliver but Miley and Lilly.
A foot bumped hers under the table. Miley looked up, all set to yell at Oliver for kicking her. Then Cara winked at her and mouthed, Sorry. A second later, Lilly's head snapped up and she smiled at Cara, a shy, secret smile. So Cara had been trying for Lilly and got Miley by accident. And right now they were...
Miley looked back down at her meatloaf. She wasn't hungry anymore. In fact, she thought she might throw up if she ate anything. "You know what?" she said. "I just remembered, I, um...I have to take a book back to the library before class starts." She scrambled get up and throw her bookbag on her back and pick up her tray. "I'll see you guys later."
Lilly was looking at her quizzically and Miley hurried to walk away before Lilly could say anything. Behind her, she heard Oliver saying, "But lunch isn't even half over yet."
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Miley was out of her seat as soon as the last bell rang. She couldn't decide if she was trying to get to her locker as fast as she could to make sure she didn't miss Lilly or to try and get out of school without seeing her. They'd run again in gym class and Miley hadn't been able to say anything to Lilly because she and Cara were suddenly the most popular girls in class. Everyone clustered around them, wanting the latest gossip, and the class had gone around the track in a single clump. Except for Miley, who had actually run faster than the blob, and managed a decent lap count for once. It was easier to keep running when there was something behind you that you wanted to get away from.
As quick as she was, Lilly beat her to the lockers. She flashed a hesitant smile at Miley and Miley forced half of one in response. She hid her face in her locker, but then she realized she didn't know what she was hiding from. This was stupid. Lilly was still her best friend, and it wasn't her fault that everyone at this school was gossip-hungry and crazy. They just needed to spend some Miley-Lilly time together and everything would be fine.
And that way maybe Miley would be able to convince Lilly that Cara really wasn't any good for her. She shut her locker and turned to Lilly. "Hey," she started.
"Hey," Lilly said carefully. "Did you get your book taken back?"
"Uh, yeah," Miley said, trying not to wince at the lie. "Just in time, too, it would have been overdue. Listen, do you, um...do you want to come over today? We could do homework or watch a movie or whatever. My dad's grilling out."
Lilly's face lit up. "Yeah," she said. Miley grinned, feeling better already. "Definitely. I really want to talk to you – "
"Hey, Lilly!" Cara called from down the hall. Miley's good mood disappeared in a heartbeat. Cara pushed through the crowd and stopped in front of them. "Hey, Miley."
"Cara, hi," Lilly said happily. Miley bit the inside of her cheek and made herself return Cara's greeting.
"I wanted to know if you want to come to soccer practice with me," Cara said. "Everyone on the team wants you to come, and Shauna's out today, so I bet Coach will even let you play." She took Lilly's hand. "Come on, it'll be fun."
Miley couldn't stop staring at the two of them. They were holding hands now? Were they going to start making out in the halls next? The tang of blood hit her tongue; she'd bitten her cheek again, harder this time.
"I'd like to," Lilly said. "But I was going to – "
"You should go," Miley said.
"What?" Lilly said. "But...are you sure?"
"Sure I'm sure," Miley said. It was obvious Lilly would rather go with Cara. Who was Miley to stop her? No one. She was just the best friend. "We can do something some other time."
"Great," Cara said, and started pulling Lilly down the hall by her hand. "Let's go, I don't want to be late. And sorry, Miley, I promise I won't keep stealing her from you forever!" They disappeared around the corner.
Lilly's locker was still open. She had a picture taped to the inside of the door, one of her and Miley and Oliver on the beach last year. Back before Cara Morris had come along. Miley punched it.
The door swung back and clanked loudly against the next locker over. Everyone in the hall turned to stare at Miley. "What?" she demanded, slamming the locker shut. "That thing was looking at me funny."
They all gave her a wide berth as she stormed off down the hall.
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Thursday
Miley didn't see Lilly at all Wednesday. No, she saw Lilly-and-Cara, this new, two-headed creation. Cara walked Lilly from her locker to first period. Cara was waiting to walk her back to her locker after first period. Cara dropped Lilly off at the door to third period just as the bell was ringing and Lilly had to slide into her seat while Mr. Owens glared at her for almost being late. Cara actually was late to history because she'd been talking in the hall with Lilly.
Cara did this. Cara did that. Even when she didn't have class with Lilly or Cara, Miley still heard about it. She even overheard Amber agreeing with Mark Adams that they made a good couple, and it took everything Miley had not to deck the other girl. She didn't know why that made her even angrier than when Amber had been bashing Lilly on Monday, especially since she knew Amber didn't mean this, but it did.
By the time school let out, Miley couldn't take it anymore. She sat at her desk in English for twenty minutes after the bell rang, until she was sure that the Lilly part of Lilly-and-Cara would have given up waiting for her and gone off to do whatever it was she would rather be doing than hanging out with her best friend.
Thursday started off the same. Cara was already at their lockers with Lilly when Miley got there in the morning. Miley stifled a groan and focused on spinning the combination on her lock. She was so sick of Cara Morris. And she missed Lilly.
Lilly-and-Cara said hi. Miley made a noise in response. She got her locker open and pulled out all the books she'd left last night. She didn't feel like coming back to her locker today, not when Lilly-and-Cara were going to be hanging around. She'd just carry all her books. It would be good for her. Help build muscle mass.
"Hey, Cara," Lilly said. "Do you think you could – "
Miley didn't wait around to hear what Lilly-and-Cara were going to do next. She shut her locker and went to first period early.
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Halfway through third period, Lilly dropped a note on Miley's desk. Miley hid it under her notebook so Mr. Owens wouldn't see it and make her read it out loud. She read it after class, in a stall in one of the second floor girl's bathrooms. After Cara had shown up to walk Lilly to her next class.
The note just said, can we talk later?
I don't know, Miley thought spitefully. Can you separate yourself from Cara Morris long enough to have a conversation?
She crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trash.
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Lilly didn't sit with them at lunch. She sat with Cara and Cara's friends from the soccer team. "I don't even see why Lilly likes her," Miley said as that whole table burst into laughter at something Cara said. Again. Miley had been watching them all through lunch, and so far that had happened seven times. There was no way Cara Morris could be that funny. "She's kind of annoying, if you ask me."
"I don't care what you say," Oliver said through a mouthful of chicken nugget. "You are totally jealous."
Miley's eyes snapped to his. "I am not!" she protested vehemently.
"Yes, you are," Oliver said. "You're jealous because Lilly is spending so much time with Cara and you never get to see her." Oh, Miley thought. That kind of jealous. "Plus, you're cranky like you always are when you guys don't get time together."
"I do not get cranky," Miley grumbled. She wasn't four years old.
"Yes, you do." Oliver swallowed his chicken and ate a french fry. "So does she. I thought I was going to die last summer listening to Lilly whine when you went on vacation." He put air quotes around the last two words. The vacation had actually been a six-week Hannah tour, but Lilly and Oliver hadn't known she was Hannah back then. Otherwise she would have taken Lilly with her.
The warning bell rang and Oliver crammed the rest of his fries into his mouth. Across the room, Miley could see Lilly get up and head in their direction. She grabbed her tray and tried to take it back and escape, but Lilly caught her with a hand on her arm before she could get out of the cafeteria.
"Miley," Lilly said. Her hand was warm on Miley's arm, almost hot, and it felt like little tendrils of lightning were snaking from her fingers up Miley's skin. "I really need to talk to you."
"Lilly, we're gonna be late," Cara said over her shoulder.
Miley jerked her arm away and smiled tightly. "Guess we'll talk later," she said.
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Miley literally counted down the seconds until the end of the day, all 10,200 of them. She still had all her books, and there was no way she was going to her locker to drop off the ones she didn't need, so she ducked out one of the side doors and circled around to the front to meet Oliver.
Lilly found her first. She was waiting when Miley came around the corner. Miley groaned under her breath. It was really hard to avoid someone when they knew you as well as Lilly knew her. Not that she was avoiding Lilly, or anything. She just thought it would be easier for everyone if Lilly didn't have to bother coming up with excuses to go be with Cara Morris.
"Hey," Lilly said, and Miley said hey back. "So...do you think I could come over? Or you could come to my house or we could go to Rico's or something. I just...had some stuff I wanted to talk to you about."
Like how awesome your new girlfriend is? Miley thought. She almost said it, almost said no, she had too much homework, but Lilly looked so hopeful. And...they really hadn't spent any time together, just the two of them, in almost a week. Not since last Friday. Not since all of this had started.
Miley opened her mouth to say yes. Then she saw Cara come out of the door behind Lilly and start walking over to them. Cara waved when she saw Miley looking at her. Miley clenched her jaw shut. "Why don't you go talk to your girlfriend instead?" she hissed through her teeth. "Since I'm sure that's what you'd rather be doing anyway."
She whirled and walked away, almost running, ignoring Lilly when she called after her.
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"You plannin' on telling me what's bothering you anytime soon, Mile?" her dad asked. Miley paused with one foot on the first step upstairs. She'd sent the front door crashing shut behind her and headed straight for her room before her dad's question stopped her.
"Nothing's bothering me, Daddy," she told him.
"I'm not sure I believe that," he said, coming out from behind the counter in the kitchen so he could see her better. "Since you've been shut up in your room all week and I haven't seen hide nor hair of you. Haven't seen Lilly or Oliver around either, and we both know that ain't normal, so you wanna tell me what's going on?"
Maybe she should tell him. Maybe if she did, he'd forbid her from seeing Lilly and she'd have a good reason not to have to deal with Lilly-and-Cara anymore. "I don't want to talk about it," she said.
"I'm right here if you decide you do," he called as she went up the stairs.
Miley shut her door and dumped her bookbag on the floor. She got her guitar and sat on the end of her bed with her back to the door so she could look out the balcony doors. She'd been messing around on the guitar for about ten minutes, not really doing anything but strumming a random chord here and there, when the door opened.
"I said I don't want to talk about it," Miley said without looking over her shoulder.
"Too bad," Lilly said.
Miley put the guitar down on the bed. She didn't turn around. "What are you doing here?"
"It bothers you, doesn't it?" Lilly said. She shut the door. "That I like girls. I never should have told you."
"What?" Miley said. Where had Lilly gotten that idea? She stood and faced Lilly, crossing her arms self-consciously over her stomach. "No, Lilly, I don't care about that."
"Then how come you've barely been able to spend two seconds with me since I told you without bolting in the opposite direction?" Lilly said. "How come every time you see me with Cara you look like you're about to hurl up everything you've eaten in the past week?"
She didn't really look like that. Did she? "I don't know, Lilly! It's just..." She hugged her arms around herself and looked down at the floor. "Everything's just happening so fast."
"You think I don't know that?" Lilly said angrily. "You think I don't know things are going fast? I wasn't even ready for anyone to know about this, and now the whole school does, and somehow everyone's decided I have a girlfriend when I don't even know if I want one!" She drew in a sharp breath and then continued.
"Monday everyone hated me – I spent lunch in the bathroom because I was afraid to go into the cafeteria and I couldn't stop crying – and then the next day it was like I'm Jake Ryan and no one will leave me alone! People keep asking me questions like I'm some kind of expert on gayness and half the guys want me and Cara to make out in front of them when we haven't even kissed yet!"
Miley's head shot up at that. They hadn't kissed yet? She'd thought...
"I still haven't told my mom because I don't know how to, but I'm gonna have to figure it out soon before she hears it from someone else, and to top it all off, someone keeps putting pamphlets in my locker about how I'm going to hell!" Lilly finished. "Now don't you think with all of that happening there might be a few things I'd want to talk to my best friend about? That maybe I need you right now? And instead of being there for me, you've been avoiding me like the plague!"
"I – I haven't been avoiding you," Miley said weakly.
"Don't give me that," Lilly ground out. "You have a headache? You have to take a book back to the library? You haven't set foot in the library since they made you do orientation when you moved! And what about this afternoon? You yelled at me for no reason and then ran away!"
"I...I saw Cara coming and I thought...you guys really haven't kissed yet?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Lilly asked.
"Nothing," Miley said hastily. "Just I thought you had."
"Well, maybe if you'd said more than two words to me all week, you'd know we haven't," Lilly said, her voice hard.
And she was right. Miley knew she was. She'd been so wrapped up in her own feelings that she hadn't even thought about what Lilly was going through. "I'm sorry," she said.
"You should be," Lilly informed her. She hmphed and went to sit on the bed. "So if it isn't that I like girls, what's the real reason you've been avoiding me?"
Because you're always with Cara Morris, Miley thought. She dropped her eyes back to the floor and shifted uncomfortably. "I – I guess I just don't like Cara."
"Okay," Lilly said. Miley walked around to where she could see Lilly's face, standing halfway between the bed and the door. "But how do you know you don't like her? You haven't even spent ten minutes in the same room with her."
"I just know, okay?" Miley said. "Some people you just don't like, and Cara's one of those people."
"But you never had a problem with her before," Lilly said. "Maybe if you gave her a chance you'd like her."
"I don't think so," Miley said. If there was one thing she knew, it was that she would never like Cara Morris.
"Can't you try?" Lilly asked. "For me?"
"Why do you even like her?" Miley exploded. She saw Lilly's jaw drop a little at the anger in her voice. "What's so special about Cara? I mean, I would have thought if you were going to like anyone, it would be – " She cut herself off.
"Who?" Lilly said slowly. "It would be who?"
Miley resolutely studied the carpet under her feet. "Me," she admitted.
Lilly sighed. "Miley," she said. "It's a good thing I don't like you. You're straight."
"I know," Miley said defensively.
"So?" Lilly said. "Don't you see how much it would totally suck for me to be in love with you when I'd have no chance?"
"What?" Miley said. Her stomach tripped over itself. "I didn't say anything about being in love." Did that mean Lilly was in love with Cara Morris? Miley felt like all the blood was draining out of her body and she might pass out. Lilly couldn't be in love with Cara Morris. She just couldn't. They hadn't even kissed yet.
Lilly blushed scarlet. "Right," she said. "I-I just meant, you know. That it would suck for me. If I liked you. And for you, too, because it would probably make things all weird and awkward and...it would suck. It would really, really suck, Miley. Don't tell me you want that for me."
"No," Miley said. "I don't." But she would like Lilly, if she liked girls. Which she didn't, but it only seemed fair that Lilly would return the favor, since she actually did. Was she not good enough? Was there something wrong with her that not even her best friend liked her? That Lilly liked, maybe even loved, Cara Morris over Miley when she'd only known Cara a week? "But...I mean...you never even liked me a little? What does Cara have that I don't have?"
"Oh my god," Lilly said. "I can't believe you!" She jumped up from the bed and took a step towards Miley. Miley took a step back. She couldn't remember Lilly ever looking so furious, not even when she'd found out Miley was Hannah. "Can't you ever think about anyone but yourself? What do you think we've just been talking about this whole time? Did you even hear a word I said? I'm going through a really hard time and I need you and you're standing here asking me to boost your ego!"
Lilly kept advancing on her and Miley kept retreating, feeling sick with shame. Lilly was right. She was a horrible person and an awful friend. No wonder Lilly didn't like her. Her back hit the wall by the door.
"You want me to like you instead of Cara? You want to know what that would be like?" Lilly demanded. "Here, I'll show you." She grabbed Miley, fingers digging into Miley's shoulders, and before Miley knew what was happening Lilly's mouth was on hers.
Lilly's kiss was as angry as she was, her lips moving roughly and inexactly over Miley's. But it didn't matter. The electricity was back, everywhere, her whole body crawling with it. Miley's heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest, like someone had shocked her with a defibrillator by accident. And she was shocked, so shocked that for a long moment she couldn't think, or move, or do anything at all. Then –
She started to kiss back. She started to melt into it, to move through the space between them so she could mold her body against Lilly's. Her hands hovered above Lilly's waist –
And Lilly pulled away. Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily. "There," she said. "Are you happy now? Maybe now everything can go back to normal."
Miley just gaped at her. Lilly shook her a little, thumping her back against the wall once, and then let go. She yanked the door open. "Call me later, if that's not too much trouble," she spat. "Let me know if I can have my best friend back."
Miley stood frozen until the sound of Lilly's footsteps down the hall faded into nothing, then brought a trembling hand up to touch lips that still tingled.
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The final chapter should be up Monday.