Ch. 6

Tequila Nights

(American Idiot)

(Cloud and Leon now find that their adventure this time has led them to Mexico. It is now Cinco de Mayo day. Cloud and Leon go into a bar.)

Leon: I have a bad feeling about what that stupid author has planned for us this time.

Cloud: Hey isn't that Nikki and Denise from the mafia the author runs.

Denise: Mafia, what mafia? There's no mafia!

Nikki: -sigh—wolf ear twitches-

Cloud: Wait a second how did you get wolf ears?! And a tail?!

Nikki: Between the last episode and this episode I got bitten by a werewolf.

Leon: O…k…. so what are you two doing here?

Denise: Vacation!

Nikki: Working.

Cloud: Working? On what?

Nikki: Running the bar. Yuki wants to see if one of her bars will last in Mexico.

Leon: Oh, well in that case I'll have a beer.

Cloud: Shirley Temple.

Leon: Could you be anymore girlie?

Cloud: But I like them.

Nikki: Sorry don't serve those.

Both: -blink- What?

Nikki: We only serve drinks that can be made from tequila.

Both: Oh.

Leon: Well then just get us both some shots of tequila.

Cloud: He'll have straight tequila. I'd like a hybrid rum and tequila.

Nikki: Coming right up. ZACH! TWO SHOTS OF STRAIGHT TEQUILA AND ONE HYBRID RUM TEQUILA NOW! AND MAKE IT SNAPPY OR I'LL FEED YOUR GENITILES TO MY DOG FLUFFY!

Zach: Yes mam.

Denise: Tell me again why we're allowed to treat him like shit.

Nikki: Yuki's ex-boyfriend.

Denise: Oh…O.k.!

(Zach comes back with the drinks and leaves.)

Cloud: Uh…Nikki what is this?

(Cloud raised his glass full of some kind of white liquid.)

Nikki: ZACH! –anger vain pulsing-

Zach: Yes mam?

Nikki: I said hybrid rum with tequila not SEMEN! Where did you get that stuff anyway?!

Zach: -oh shit look-

Nikki: You know what I don't want to know.

Cloud: You know what I'll just have some straight tequila.

Denise: O.K.!

Cloud: And some earplugs if possible.

Denise: Kadokie!

(Runs behind bar.)

Nikki: Denise I told you you're not allowed back there!

(Start a chase.)

Denise: But Nikki I want to help!

Nikki: No! For one I don't trust anyone behind the bar! Two because you might break something.

Denise: No I won't!

Nikki: This is coming from the girl who has no sense of balance!

Denise: Stop being mean or I'll tell Yuki!

Nikki: Do you really think I care right now! Plus she's not here she's not even in Mexico!

Denise: Well where is she?

(Denise runs to hide behind Cloud.)

Nikki: She's in Spain looking around to see about finding new alcoholic beverages to try.

Denise: Oh. Uh, oh. Well I'll get Katlyn.

Nikki: Japan.

Denise: Bryan and Corey.

Nikki: In Russia testing a new type of vodka.

Denise: So there is no one here to protect me?!

Nikki: That's right –evil grin-

Leon: Wait Yuki is in Spain alone with out her body guards?

Nikki: For two weeks, yeah.

Leon: -dials a number on his cell phone- Hello? Yes I need a ticket for a nonstop flight to Spain from Mexico.

Cloud: Make it two tickets.

(Pink panther theme song ring tone for a cell phone goes off.))

Denise: Hello? Yuki-chan! How's Spain? Uh, huh. O.k. When do you expect to be back. YAY! Oh, Yuki can you please tell Nikki not to kill me? O.k. hold on one sec.

(Gives phone to Nikki.)

Nikki: Hello? Hey. Because she went behind the bar after I told her a hundred times not to. O.k. But why? Oh O.K. –evil grin- gottcha bye.

Cloud: What did she say?

Denise: First she said that Spain was good. Corey and Bryan finished up in Russia and she's finished to. Their on a plane coming from Japan. They were picking Katlyn up and will be here tomorrow.

Cloud: Leon the author has her body guards again and will be here tomorrow.

Leon: Damn it! Never mind just cancel my tickets. –hangs up his phone-

Nikki: She also convinced me not to kill you. –evil grin-

Denise: Then what is with the evil grin.

Nikki: Nothing, nothing what so ever.

Denise: Suuuuure.

Cloud: Can we get some more tequila please?

Leon: Just bring a bottle for both of us.

Nikki: K. ZACH! TWO BOTTLES OF TEQUILA! HOLD THE SEMEN!

Zach: Here you go.

(Two hours later and after many bottles of tequila and someone lighting up several marijuana sticks and some speed. It's is now night time.)

Denise: What do we drink on Cinco de Mayo day?!

Nikki, Zach, Cloud, and Leon (all shit face drunk and high): Tequila!

Denise: What do we drink on the Day of the Dead?!

Everyone: Tequila!

Denise: What do we drink while laying on a beach in Mexico?!

Everyone: Tequila!

Nise: What do we drink every single day of our lives any way?!

Everyone: Tequila!

Denise: That's right! Because we all know –hiccup- that tequila is awesome!

Nikki: You want to know what's awesome? Two drunken hot dudes making out!

(On the airplane.)

Yuki: Let's make a quick note that everyone is completely shit faced drunk and high.

Katlyn: Like they couldn't all ready tell.

Corey: You two keep talking about whatever it is you're talking about.

Bryan: We'll just sit here looking cool. Seeing as how Corey doesn't speak girl and I can only understand half of it because I'm bi.

Corey: Your bi!

Yuki and Katlyn: No duh!

(Back to bar.)

Cloud: Hey, Leon's a hot drunken dude.

Leon: Look whose talking mega spike.

Cloud: Mega spike?

Leon: Your hair.

Cloud: Oh. Wow my hair is spiky how that happen?!

Denise: Whoa that's awesome.

Nikki: Cool, Leon you've got a scar.

Leon: Where?

Nikki: On you face!

Leon: Ah! Get it off!

Cloud: O.k. hold still.

(Starts trying to wipe off the scar.)

Cloud: It won't come off!

Leon: Oh, well.

Cloud: Leon look on the bright side. You look hotter with it.

Leon: And your spiky hair makes you look hotter!

Denise: WOW!

Everyone: What?

Denise: Look at your hand while you're moving it. It looks so awesome.

(Everyone starts doing it.)

Nikki: That is awesome.

Denise: I just discovered something.

Nikki: What?

Denise: I have a favorite finger!

Cloud: Oh, which one is it?

Denise: My middle finger!

Leon: Same here. They are good for telling people to fuck off.

Nikki: Yeah.

Leon: Cloud how high and drunk are you?

Cloud: High and drunk enough to not remember a single thing that'll happen tonight.

Leon: O.k. let's go.

Cloud: Where to?

Leon: To go fuck.

Cloud: Oh,…………………..O.k.

(They go fuck behind the bar.)

Denise: That's hot.

Nikki: Yeah…did you set the camera up back there?

Denise: Yep. It was easier than I thought.

Nikki: What was?

Denise: Acting drunk.

Nikki: Yeah it really is. Oh, my god!

Denise: What?

Nikki: You've got a tattoo!

Denise: Cool! What does it say?

Nikki: Dude!

Denise: Cool you have one to!

Nikki: What does mine say?

Denise: Sweet. What does mine say?

Nikki: Dude. What does mine say?

Denise: Sweet, No tell me what mine said?!

Nikki: Dude! What does mine say?!

Leon: Nikki's tattoo says sweet Nise's says dude. Now shut up!

Cloud: Leon hurry up.

(Leon ducks back down behind bar.)

(Airplane)

Yuki: Yes I put 'Dude Where's My Car?' in here. And the middle finger thing. A friend of mine showed me a newspaper from California. There was a whole article about a guy who lost is favorite finger.

Katlyn: People put anything in the news now a days.

Yuki: Yeah. Where's Corey and Bryan.

Katlyn: They're having a trust talk.

Yuki: Oh, Corey's still upset that Bryan didn't tell him he was bi?

Katlyn: Yeah.

Yuki: …Oh, well. O.k. I'm sleepy wake me up when we land.

Katlyn: K. Corey! Bryan! We're going to sleep wake us when we land!

Both: K.

(Back to bar.)

(Morning)

Cloud: Ow, my head. I'm never drinking that much again.

Leon: Tell me about it.

(Cloud and Leon realize they are laying next to each other under a blanket completely naked.)

Both: Damn it! Not again!

Nikki: Shut up.

(Throws a bottle and hit's Leon in the head.)

Leon: Ow! Hey I've got a hangover over here!

Denise: You think you guys are the only ones?

Nikki: Everyone has a hangover!

(Door bursts open. In walks Yuki, Katlyn, Bryan and Corey.)

Yuki: Hello every-. Wow I expected at least two days before this place turned into a disaster area. You guys only did it one.

Denise: Yeah now no talkie head hurt.

Nikki: Baby.

Denise: you just said yours did to!

Nikki: But I don't whine about it.

(Yuki whips out phone.)

Yuki: Hello? Uh yes I need to reach Mr. Banks. Tell him it's Yuki and I need him to come to Mexico to help repair my bar. License to serve alcohol? Uh…..Of course I have one. Look I don't have time for this just give him the message!

(Hangs up. Realizes Cloud and Leon are giving her a look.)

Yuki: What?

Cloud: you serve alcohol with out a license?

Yuki: Uh yeah. So?

Leon: You could go to jail for a very long time.

Yuki: So?

Cloud: Leon would you like to do the honors?

Leon: Why certainly. Take back this entire chapter or I'll call the cops.

(Everyone looks at them in horror.)

Yuki: (smirk) Leon, cloud I'm sorry to say but that's impossible.

Both: Why?

Yuki: Because….

(Everyone starts to evilly laugh.)

Yuki: This chapter is all ready on the internet. Your to late. By now my loyal reviewers have read this.

Both: No!

Yuki: Oh, don't be that way. Well this episode is over. And Cloud.

Cloud: (completely scared shitless.) What?

Yuki: In a couple weeks I would take a pregnancy test if I were you. (evil laughter)

Katlyn: O.k. you need to stop that. You can't pull off evil laughter.

Yuki: (depressed) I know.

End…..Psh! Yeah right.