(American idiot)
(Cloud and Leon have found that there adventure this time has led them to a hospital.)
Cloud: WHAT?!
(A male Doctor that mysteriously looks like the author but with glass, a black mustache, and a big nose.)
Doctor: Just as I said you're pregnant.
Cloud: But how?
Doctor: Hmm…..are you familiar with authors that have their male characters get pregnant. It's called Mpreg syndrome. So who's the father?
Leon: Me.
Doctor: Good for you man. Come back in six months and I'll tell if the baby is boy or girl.
Leon: Whatever let's go Cloud.
Doctor: No sex for nine months you two.
(Leon and cloud run out of office.)
(Doctor pulls off the costume glasses, mustache, and nose. Revealing the author.)
Yuki: I actually feel sorry for Leon. He'll have to deal with mood swings and every thing else. Oh, well! More fun for me!
(Month 1)
Cloud: Ow!
Leon: What?
Cloud: My nipples hurt!
Leon: No duh. You're pregnant.
Cloud: Do you think I'm fat?
Leon: (disappears.)
(Month 3)
Cloud: Leon!
Leon: Yes? (Gets punched in the face) What the fuck?! What was that for?!
Cloud: You think I'm fat!
Leon: I never said that!
Cloud: You were thinking it!
Leon: No, I was thinking about….going to get…..you some ice cream!
Cloud: OH! O.k. (Happy) Vanilla please! (Suddenly becoming very sad.)
Leon: What now?
Cloud: What if they don't have it? (Starts tearing up.)
Leon: Then I'll keep looking till I find some.
Cloud: (Hugs Leon.) You're the best!
(Leon goes on world wide man hunt for vanilla ice cream.)
Leon: Here you go.
Cloud: Oh, that's o.k. I don't want it anymore just put it in the freezer.
(Leon passes out.)
(Month 6)
Doctor: Well hello there. Mr. Strife.
Cloud: Hello.
Doctor: Ready to see what it is?
Leon: Let's just get this over with.
Doctor: O.k. nurses come in!
(A bunch of male nurses come in that mysteriously look like the authors friends but with big noses, mustaches, and glasses.)
Doctor: O.k. hook Mr. Strife here up too the machines. Get Mr. Leonhart a drink he looks like he needs one.
Leon: you bet.
Doctor: (Starts smearing a gel over cloud stomach.)
Cloud: That's cold.
Doctor: Hmm…. (Using the x-ray for finding babies thing.) Ah, there it is.
(Picture of baby inside cloud on screen.)
Doctor: See the head, the beating heart. Would you like to know if it's male or female?
(Cloud and Leon nod.)
Doctor: It's a boy.
Cloud: It's a boy?
Doctor: It's a boy.
Leon: It's a boy. (Relieved sigh.)
Nurses: It's a boy!
Random Person: We get it already it's a boy!
Doctor: Conner, Bret. Take care of him please.
(Two male nurses disappear.)
Doctor: Now let's make your next appointment. In three months for the birth.
Leon: Um...Doctor where is the baby going to come out?
Cloud: That's what I would like to know.
Doctor: isn't it obvious?
(Shaking heads no.)
Doctor: (Pulls cloud and Leon towards him to hear.)
Leon: Oh, well that does make since.
Cloud: (Wide eyed.)
Doctor: Well see you in three months. (trip) Ow.
Leon: You're no doctor you're our insane author!
Cloud: What?!
Yuki: Hi boys.
Cloud: So that means….
(Everyone removes disguise.)
Cloud: Damn it.
(Two people walk in. One named Kitty the other Ed. Both are girls.)
Kitty: Yuki can I ask you something?
Yuki: Of course what is it?
Kitty: Where do babies come from and how can two men have a baby?
Yuki: Well uh you see for your first one. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…they uh…call the s-stork and…..
Ed: They fuck each other!
Yuki: ED! For the second one. When two daddies love each other very much and are introduced to alcohol and a very talented author….
Ed: They fuck!
Yuki: Some one shut her up!
(Nikki duct tapes Ed to a chair. She is covered in duct tape from head to toe.)
(Month 9)
Cloud: HOLY SHIT!
Yuki: He's having contractions! (Says excitedly) Let's get him to his room!
(Yuki, Nikki, Denise, and Katlyn wheel Cloud away.)
Leon: I'm worried about him.
Bryan: Why?
Corey: He's in the capable hands of the girls you shouldn't be.
Leon: It's because it's the girls I'm worried.
(Katlyn runs out.)
Katlyn: Leon comes with me. Cloud wants you in the room ASAP!
(They all rush to the room Cloud is in.)
Leon: Opens the door.
Yuki: O.k. Cloud push I can almost see the head.
Nikki: (Taping the birth)
Denise: (Running around with towels.)
Cloud: Leon come closer.
(Leon walks over to Cloud.)
Cloud: Leon when this is all over. I'm going to get a very rusty spork and do you know what I'm going to do with it?
Leon: (Shakes head.) No, But I have some kind of idea.
Cloud: I'm going to use it to castrate you! MOTHER -!
Yuki: I see the head! Push Cloud push!
(Cloud gripping metal railing so hard that it is squeezed into the shape of Cloud s grip.)
Denise: I hands!
Nikki: Wow I'm getting great footage.
Katlyn: Almost out.
Yuki: And there he is.!
(Holds up baby.)
Girls: Aww….He's so cute!
Bryan and Corey: AH! My eyes!
Katlyn: Let's get him cleaned off.
Yuki: Uh oh.
Leon: What?
There's another one coming.
Cloud: You said there was one. (Fire erupting in the back ground.)
Yuki; (Sweat drop.) Chill it's a joke! Don't eat me!
Nikki: So what should we name him?
Denise: Leon Jr.!
Bryan: That's lame.
Corey: He needs something masculine.
Leon: (glaring at Corey.)
Corey: When it comes to the Jr. part it doesn't sound masculine enough.
Katlyn: Let's let Cloud decide.
Nikki: It makes since after all he came out of Cloud.
Cloud: I haven't thought of anything.
Yuki: I got it!
(Ten years later.)
Cloud: Fenrir Griever Strife Leonhart! You come back here this instant!
Leon: (thinking) Why did we name our kid that again?
(Anime/Manga Nerd Land)
Yuki: Because I said so. Wow this wasn't really as random, messed up, and funny as I would of liked it. I'll just have to work harder next time!
(Back)
Leon: (Hearing this.) God please………KILL HER!
