Warning: Mild language, yaoi
Disclaimer: I don not own Naruto nor any of its characters. I also do not own dictionary dot com, though I am constantly trying to widen my vocabulary while writing.
Rating: M
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The classroom fell silent, everyone was staring at the blonde and rosette girls with a mixture of incredulous, humor, and for some, pure unadulturated loathing. When neither broke into uncontrollable laughter and reassured the others it was just a joke, Naruto was the first to react.
"That. Makes absolutely. No sense." Wide azure eyes looked like they were drop from the blonde's head at any moment as he carefully chose his words, not wanting to anger two of the prettiest, and most dangerous, girls in Kohona.
Grinning widely, both girls turned to the gaping blonde, a dangerous glint in both green and blue hued eyes, "Now, Naru-chan, don't tell me you're doubting our intellect," The blonde girl smiled a sickly sweet grin, causing a shudder to run down Naruto's spine.
"You know we're always right, Na-ru-to. Just trust us, and everything will fall into place." Jade eyes bore into cerulean, daring him to protest. Another shudder ran down the blonde's spine.
"What the hell?" Barked the Inuzaka, annoyed he didn't understand the girls' reasoning. "How the hell is getting Fox Face a boyfriend going to get his brother off his case? Especially if said brother is gay!" Kiba knew Ino was a regular air headed teenage girl, but Sakura was supposed to be smart. It couldn't possibably be because... Kiba paled.
Are Sakura and Ino yaoi fangirls?
The shaggy brunette grimaced at the thought. What the hell is wrong with women? Ever since Naruto had started getting proposals from guys, the girls at Kohona High had gone through a turmoil of events.
First, they resented that the blonde was attracting more positive male attention than they were. (The tattooed boy had never seen the blonde as remotely attractive, but than again, he was as straight as they come. No curve. None. He didn't even bend. He would snap before he bent... right.) Some had even gone so far as to attack the blonde, but Sakura and Ino had squashed that revolution. They never let a girl within a five meter radius of the blonde, albeit Sakura, Ino, and Hinata. Naruto had taken that hard, irritated that the girls still interested in him were no longer allowed near him, while the boys of Kohona High were having a field day with his backside. Strangely enough, Sasuke had put a stop to that when he had heard.
After the intital denial and anger, the girls of Kohona seemed to try to ignore the blonde. For about a month, Naruto had been shunned by the female populace, again albeit Sakura, Ino, and Hinata. Naruto had also taken that hard, though he tried not to let the others see how much it bothered him. Before Naruto had come to Kohona High, he hadn't had many friends, and he was depressed that he was once again being ignored for something he had no control over. Once after being ignored during a group assignment, Naruto had snapped at Kiba, shouting it was his fault for burning all his orange clothing.
Kiba winced at the thought and once again repressed the painful memory. He hadn't been able to sit right for a week after the injuries Naruto had inflicted upon him with a science text book before Shino had gotten the book away from the blonde with the promise of ramen. And then they had left the youngest Inuzaka there for dead. Bastards.
Finally, after watching how Naruto stuttered and blushed every time a male would ask him out, the girls slowly began to consider the blonde's antics 'cute'. They started talking to him again, commenting with little malice on how his face put an over ripe tomatoe to shame, and how to easily let someone down, and, if he didn't take no for an answer, a few self defense moves 'that every girl needed to know'.
A while later, rumors where flying around the school that Naruto was gaining his own fan club. None of the rumors were verified, but Kiba could have sworn he once saw an orange new letter in Hinata's locker that headlined, 'Naruto Uke-umaki Weekly'.
Again, two hands forced the shaggy brunette's head into the table, large, sweet smiles never leaving the girls' faces. "It's simple, Dog Breath," Ino said in a cheery voice, ignoring Kiba's indignant spluttering at the familiar nickname.
"Kyuubi-san says that he's seducing Naruto's girlfriends because he's trying to protect Naruto, ne? And he verifies that he's really only concerned about Naruto's well being by saying he's gay." The rosette explained to the rest of the room, still firmly holding the struggling Inuzaka's head to the desk.
"If Kyuu-Kun is really gay, then he should have no problem also seducing Naruto's boyfriend, thus proving he really is only concerned about protecting Naruto's heart. If he isn't, then Kyuu-Kun will have a hard time seducing said boyfriend." Ino elaborated for the still confused looking faces, helping her pink haired friend to restrain the squirming teen.
"So, if Kyuubi-san is truly gay, he will seduce Naruto's boyfriend and we will know if he really is only an over protect older brother. If Kyuubi-san can't seduce Naruto's boyfriend, then it proves that not only is he straight, but he was seducing Naruto's girlfriends for his own means!" Sakura concluded, far too happily for such a situation.
'They're having fun.' Naruto realized scornful, hurt and anger building in his chest, 'They consider this some game. A big mystery.'
Silence, besides the sound of Kiba's spluttering and struggling, met the room once more as the group absorbed the girls' words.
"Not bad," A brunette with his hair pulled back into a tight ponytail commented, head lazily resting on his open palm, "Troublesome, but not bad. It could work." The blonde and rosette beamed at the lazy teen as the others openly gaped at him, stunned that such a genius would agree with the hair-brained sceme. Even Kiba had stopped struggling to listen.
"It could work," Shikamaru continued, pointedly ignoring the death glares he was recieving from two inparticular, turning instead to direct his words at Sakura and Ino, "If you find the right guy. If it is someone easily led astray, then it's meaningless. It has to be someone Kyuubi would really have to work for, not someone who could be turned by a superior ass."
"This is my brother your talking about!" Naruto wailed, covering his ears with his palms and dropping his head to the table. "Why are you talking about my brother's ass!"1 The blonde went unheard as the other's joined in on the plotting.
"N-N-Neji-san," Hinata muttered first, staring down at her fidgetting hands as she spoke, nominating her long haired, pale eyed cousin. "I believe h-he would be an... an int-interesting c-can-canditate."
Again, silence engulped the room, everyone staring at the dark haired girl. Looking up, pale eyes quickly spotted a horrified looking Naruto staring at her in disbelieve, Sasuke glaring venomous at her, Sakura and Ino looking like christmas had come early this year, while still holding Kiba's head to the desk, and the rest looking at her either blankly or curiously.
Face flsuhed, pale eyes once again watched her own hands fidget rapidly in her lap.
"Gaara." Broke the silence, followed by a loud choking noise, as all heads swerved to look at the boy who had spoken. Dark glasses and a high collared jacket hid the dark haired boy's expression as he repeated himself. "Gaara no Sabaku."
Naruto choked on a gasp, spluttering incoherent profanities at the usually silent boy as he suggested one of the blonde's oldest friends.
"Shino's got a point," Shikamaru mused, staring thoughtfully out the window, "Gaara would be a good choice. He's over protective, too. And I think he's got a thing for Naruto."
Naruto flushed at the comment, slamming his hands down on the desk he was sitting at and jumping to his feet, teeth bared angrily, "What the hell, guys?! I haven't agreed to anything yet! And, dammit, Gaara is just a friend!"
Again, the blonde's outburst was ignored.
"Maybe Lee?" A large boy suggested around bites of his lunch, munching away thoughtfully, "He's weird, but I bet he thinks it's 'unyouthful' to cheat on someone."
The blonde boy fell back into his seat. In a hopeless voice, he asked softly, "I have no choice, do I?"
"Lee's too weird!" Sakura protested, a light blush tinting her cheeks. "Kyuubi-san would never believe Naruto would go out with such a moron!"
Naruto stared with blank eyes out the window, bottom lip trembling slightly. "I don't wanna be gay."
"Gaara's too creepy!" Ino added, shivering slightly at the thought of the boy, "He might try and kill Kyuu-kun if he tried anything! Not to mention what he might do to Naruto."
Still staring out the window, Naruto waved weakly at something only he could see, "Farewell, my Dear, Sweet, innocence."
"Well, I think Neji is too arrogant!" Sakura retorted to Ino, frowning deeply, "He would probably think he could get with both Naruto and Kyuubi-san."
Ino shook her head, frowning thoughtfully, "He's arrogant, yeah, but the way he looks at Naruto during history... you're noticed, too, right, Hinata? I doubt he would try and pull anything." Frowning deeper, she added, "But, he's friends with TenTen, isn't he? He's probably not the best choice."
Cerulean eyes welled with tears, the trembling in the blonde's lower lip increasing in tempo, "What if I have to be bottom?"
Sakura and Ino stared thoughtfully at each other for a moment, before twin grins spread simultaneously across their faces. Together, they moved their hands positioned on the main of shaggy hair to the hood of Kiba's faux fur-rimmed sweater, yanking back at the same time.
The chair went flying back, taking Kiba with it. Before the loud mouthed brunette could say anything, Sakura and Ino were standing over him with their arms crossed, shoulder to shoulder, devious grins in place. Gulping, Kiba slowly began to edge back towards the door.
"Congratulations, Dog Breath," Ino said in a sing-song voice, ignoring the petrified expression on the tattooed face.
"You've just been choosen to act as Naruto's boyfriend in plan '06731 - Faux Escort!'" Sakura cheered happily, ignoring the raised eyebrows pointed in her direction.
A sob rocked through the blonde's shoulders, his head dropping into his folded arms. "I don't wanna be an... an uke!"
"Plan '06731 - Faux Escort'?" Ino repeated, frowning at her friend. "I thought we agreed on plan '05753 - Transformation! Moron to uk-'--" The blonde was silenced as the rosette clamped her hands over her friend's mouth, laughing nervously.
"Now, now, Ino-Pig. Remember we talked about this? We're going with plan '06731 - Faux Escort.' Plan '05753' shall be executed at a later date."
Ino nodded vigourously, grinning behind her friend's hands. Oh, yes. She remembered that conversation alright. The rosette released her friend, both girls turned back to the fallen brunette, only to find him gone.
Staring blankly at the spot where Kiba had been only seconds before, the girls didn't notice the classroom door opening until it had slammed shut again.
"He escaped." Ino said faintly, looking from the floor to the door. "That was unexpected."
Naruto lifted his head out of his arms slightly, looking hopeful, "Does this mean we don't have to go through with the plan anymore?"
"Don't worry, Naruto," Sakura reassured, crushing the blonde's fleeting hope, "We'll just find you someone else! Shino?"
The boy in question merely raised a brow over his dark glasses, a definate no.
"Shika?" Ino and Sakura turned to the boy expectantly.
"Too troublesome," The lazy teen replied, yawning into his hand, "I've already considered six hundred, twenty-eight possible outcomes for this plan, and none of the suceeding ones include myself in the role of 'Faux Escort'."
Frowning deeply, the girls turned to the finally option (in their opinions, anyway) left in the room, only to find an empty potatoe chip bag where Choji had been enjoying his lunch minutes before.
"Is it the instinct of all men to run away?!" Ino cried furiously, balling the empty bag between her hands angrily.
"Running seems like a good idea right about now." Naruto's voice sounded muffled as he spoke into his arms, staring longingly at the door. "Traitors. Just left me here. Their death shall not be swift."
Sakura made an angry noise in the back of her throat, but plopped down into Choji's now unoccupied seat, considering it too much trouble to hunt Kiba and Choji down. She'd get them later. "Fine, we'll just have to pick between Gaara and Neji then. Hinata? Your vote."
"N-Neji-san." The shy girl stuttered out, shooting an apologetic look at Naruto, who was too busy staring intently at the door to notice.
Ino nodded, turning to Shikamaru. "Shika? Who do you think will be best."
"Gaara." Shikamaru answered after only a brief hesitation, considering it less troublesome just to answer the woman's question instead of trying to defend Naruto's right. Oh, well. He'd buy the idiot ramen later to make it up to him.
"Shino?" Sakura asked, turning to the partially hidden teen.
"Gaara." The teen stated emotionlessly.
"Right," Ino tallied the votes for either canditate on her hands. Raising two fingers on each hands, she said to her pink haired friend, "I also vote for Neji. That makes it a tie. You wanted Gaara," A shudder ran down the girl's spin as a third finger raised on her left hand, "Right?"
Sakura nodded, turning towards the final teen that had a say in the plan. "Sasuke-kun?" She smiled sweetly, flipping her hair over her shoulder, "Who do you think would be best for Naruto? Gaara no Sabaku or Neji Hyuuga?"
The stoic teen that had been silent for the entire lunch period glared up at the pink and blonde haired girls, causing them to both flinch back in suprise. A smirk formed on Shikamaru;s lips from across the room, but no one seemed to notice.
"Goodbye, my virtue! You shall be missed." Naruto sobbed to no one inparticular, again going unnoticed.
Sasuke didn't know why, but he was extraordinarily livid at the two girls. Find the Dobe a boyfriend? What the hell kind of solution was that. It would never work, especially not with Hyuuga or Gaara. They would both go crawling to Kyuubi. Naruto needed someone like... someone like...
"I'll do it." Sasuke stated emotionlessly, ignoring the horrified expressions slowly eating away at the girls' once happy features. "For the plan to work, you need someone who knows Kyuubi's tricks. I've been around the Dobe's brother enough to know what to expect. If you really want to prove anything, then this is the only way."
The room stared at the Uchiha in shock, even Naruto had come out of his mourning for his sure to be lost virtue to see if Sasuke was kidding.
"Uh, really Teme?" Naruto asked into the stunned silence, resulting in Ino and Sakura frailing their arms around and spluttering incoherently to try and devert the youngest Uchiha's attention.
"Wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, Dobe." The Uchiha retorted with a smirk, gathering his lunch as he pointed ignored his female classmates, including the Hyuuga who seemed to be having troubles with a nosebleed.
"Sasuke-kun!" Ino tried desperately, as Sasuke rose from his seat with his bag in hand. "You... you don't have to! Gaara will be a great boyfriend for Naruto! I'm sure he'll agree."
Sasuke didn't reply as he grabbed the blonde's backpack, earning an indignified squawk and a stumbling Uzumaki rushing after him, as he swung his own over his shoulder, heading towards the door.
"The bell will be ringing soon." Was the Uchiha's finally words as he exited the classroom, feeling the staring of his friends boring into his, and the blonde's at his sides, back.
Before closing the door again, Sasuke could hear Sakura and Ino shouting back and forth,
"This is all your fault! If you hadn't insisted on plan '06731-Faux Escort' Sasuke-kun wouldn't have to pertend to be Naruto's boyfriend!"
"Oh, like Naruto would just agree to plan '05753 - Moron to Uke' without a good reason."
Sliding the door closed, said moron fell into step beside him, pouting down at the ground as he muttered sulkily, "I'm not a uke."
Glancing down at his friend at the moment, Sasuke could think of him as nothing else.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Naruto and Sasuke exited there last class together, splitting up without a word to find their own lockers before meeting up again outside of the school. Silently, they began their long, tense trek home.
Naruto sighed inwardly, afraid to break the tense silence with his breath. Sneaking a peak at the older boy walking slightly ahead of him, he was both thankful and regrettful the Kiba had gone to the library with Hinata and Shino to study.
Though Kiba would have been blunt and awkward about demanding the raven's motives behind volunteering to be the blonde's boyfriend, at least he would have gotten answers.
The blonde fidgeted with the straps of his backpack as he attempted to find a light, humorous way to ask his friend why he had agreed to help. Why was he could never find his voice when he needed it most?
"Sasuke," The blonde finally mumbled, forcing himself to speak. The raven haired teen didn't look back, but from the slight tilt of the head, Naruto knew he had his friend's attention. "Um, why... Why did you agree to be... be my..." The blonde looked to the ground, unable to finish the question.
'So much for breaking the tension,' He thought wistfully, afraid to look up. 'I'm acting like a coward. Worse. A girl. Why can't I look at him?'
It was because the blonde was so intrigued with his shoelaces and his lack , that he hadn't noticed that Sasuke had stopped walking and turned to face him until after he had collided with the other teen.
A strong arm found it's way around his waist before he could bounce off his friend and fall to the concrete, the force of the collision forcing the blonde head to fall back.
"Why I agreed to be your boyfriend, Dobe?" Intense onyx eyes locked with wide cerulean ones for a second time that day as the raven spoke softly, shocked by his own actions.
Sasuke had stopped walking because they had been nearing the blonde's street and he didn't want Kyuubi to hear about their plan before it even got started, and he had caught his friend before he could fall to the ground because the blonde was a clumsy idiot, and he didn't want to have to listen to the loud whining for the rest of the walk.
He didn't, however, understand why he had yet to release the blonde, or why he was talking in such a low, husky voice. He sure as hell didn't understand why he didn't mind the lack of space between the two of them, or how he could consider the wide blue eyes and lightly part lips captivating.
"I agreed, because you are my friend," A smirk formed on the normally stoic face as the smaller boy continued to gape up at him wordlessly, "And I thought it should be someone who definately wouldn't fall for your brother's tricks."
A frown tugged at Naruto's lips when he finally gathered his wits. Looking down, he grumbled out, "What makes you so sure you won't fall for Nii-san? He's beautiful, and smart, and he's nice...ish. And he can cook. And--"
"Naruto," Said boy looked up in suprise at the raven. The only time Sasuke used his first name was when he was being serious, or when Naruto had done something so bad that the youngest Uchiha used his full name. The last time he had done so was a year ago, and the blonde didn't want to relive the horrifying memories. Never again would he experiment with hair dye. Especially not on the Uchiha without his consent.
"I promise you I won't fall out your brother. We've been," The raven cuaght himself before he could say 'best', "Friends since we were twelve. I've been around your brother long enough to know what he's playing at. There's no way I'd fall for him." At the blonde's still uncertain face, he repeated, "I promise."
Azure bore into onyx, trying to servey if the stoic teen was right. He was an Uchiha, and Uchiha's were almost always right, but this way Nii-san they were talking about. He was the type of person that could get anyone he wanted.
'Does that include Uchihas?'
Pouting, Naruto childishly held out his pinky finger towards the raven, mumbling, "Promise, Teme?"
A small smile twitched Sasuke's lips upwards as he interwined his pinky his Naruto's, retorting lightly, "Yeah, Dobe. I promise."
After a moment, the two teens finally parted, one flushing as he thought back on the close proximity to his best friend only a few moments before, the other silently vowing to keep his promise.
Silently they turned onto Naruto's street, bidding a slightly awkward goodbye as the blonde trotted across the street and up the front steps of his decent sized home.
Naruto unlocked the front door, turning to wave farewell to his friend and recieving a two finger wave in return.
Smiling, the blonde slide the door closed silently and slipped off his shoes. Dropping his bag to the familiar spot beside the door, he called out loudly as he entered the kitchen, "I'm home."
Silence greated his words, and the smile slipped from the blonde's face when he was sure the silence wouldn't be broken. Sinking into a nearby chair, the blonde buried his head in his arms on the table, biting his lip to keep the sudden apprehension building in his stomach at bay.
"Sasuke," The blonde murmured wistfully into the silent house, pleading with all his heart for everything to turn out alright, "Please... please keep your promise."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1. My bisexual male friend and I always comment on how nice an ass our friend's brother has whenever we see him. We whisper and giggle, trying not to let her hear us, but she can always tell by where we are looking. She reacts similiarly.
Please review.
It's past 6 am and I've yet to go to sleep. I think I just official became nocturnal.
I have no idea if this story is interesting or pathetic. I'm not sure how this is going to go, as with my other stories, I have only thought out the first chapter or so and have no idea what I'm doing.
Let me know if there are any other pairs you want, or if you have any suggests or remarks. (In short, review.)
Next Chapter: Naruto's past! Why Kyuubi became the over protective Nii-san!
'Til next time,
KyoKotou