(a/n: I blame my absentee-ness on school. Forgiveness is in your hands, distribute it as you will.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vol. 27 Invidious Envy
-Mugen-
It was damn depressing being around Fuu these days. She was havin a hard time since Jin left, but she kept it inside. That was pretty weird since Fuu never missed a chance to complain, to the entire world, about whatever was rubbin her the wrong way. Yeah, she was just all quiet and pouty lookin all the time. She kept on working at the fish place though, and she brought in okay pay. We had to move into a smaller and crappier hotel, not that I really cared. So even if Tsuki or Jin came back, they'd have a hard time finding us. But I was pretty damn sure fish-face wasn't going to make a visit anytime soon.
So I was going to cheer Fuu up today, or something like that, just cause I felt like it. It was her last day of work this week, so I figured I could kidnap her and drag her to a bar or something to forget her troubles. Plus, I was going anyway, and she had all the money.
When I got to her work though, no one was there. The fish stand was all closed up; the shutters were down and the sign on the little hook was on the 'closed' side.
"What the hell?" I muttered to myself, lookin around. Fuu said she had work today and that she wasn't getting off till late. I growled and clenched my teeth together till they hurt. Figures, the one time I try and do something nice for the little bitch and she lies to me. I scratched my head and looked around. The old people who owned the fish place lived right behind the stand, so maybe they were home and knew where the runt would be.
The old guy answered on the seventh or eighth pound on the door. He looked a little pissed that I was knocking so hard, but I didn't really give a fuck. I just wanted to know where Fuu was. "Where's Fuu?" I asked.
The old dude's bushy little eyebrows went up. "Fuu? What do you want with her?"
"She's a friend, and she said she was workin today. I guess that wasn't the truth, now was it?"
"Today is her day off, young man. Come back tomorrow." He tried to shut the door, but I put a hand on it and forced it open.
"Not so fast. I thought we were havin a nice conversation here, and you get all rude…You know where she might be?"
He looked uncertain. "She might be with young master Kazu."
I frowned pretty damn hard and let my hand go from the door. I turned and walked away as I heard the door shut. She lied, the little sneak. She told me she had to work and really she was going out on a date with that little punk. Oh she'd be sorry she tried to pull one over on me, I was going to make damn sure of it.
-Fuu-
Kazu.
He was being so nice to me, even though Mugen almost messed it up. That's why I didn't tell him about today. He wouldn't have understood. I was having a hard time with the whole Tsuki thing, Jin leaving, and trying to be a grown-up all at once. I just needed a break, and Kazu gave me that. I didn't worry when I was around him, everything just faded away, and there were no troubles or bad stuff.
He had been to visit every day this week, and today was the day I agreed to go on a date with him. I know that it was kind of out of the blue of him to ask, but he seemed worth taking the risk on.
Presently, he was walking me home. I told him we had to be back in time for Mugen to not suspect anything. It had to be the same time I got off work every other day. He agreed, but was a little mad that I wouldn't stand up to Mugen. I just didn't want to have to go through a fight was all.
"Fuu?" Kazu asked quietly. We were walking side by side and I turned my face to look up at him. "Ca-can I hold your hand?"
I felt the blood invade my face and the burning sensation of a blush. I looked down. "Sure." Oh wow, I thought to myself. He really likes me! I hope it doesn't turn out like all the others have.
And there it was; that cold thought that snuck into my brain and messed everything up. Kazu noticed and a look of concern scrunched his face.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said quickly. "I was just thinking about something I forgot to do yesterday." The answer seemed to satisfy him, because he slipped his hand in mine and smiled that wonderful smile at me.
"Well, don't worry about it today. You should get one day off from that too."
We walked the whole way back with our hands together. It was hard keeping my heart rate down, I was sure he'd see it pounding out of my chest, it was going so hard. When we got back to the new place, almost all of the lights were off, even ours. I stared up at it for a second before Kazu came to stand right in front of me.
"Fuu, I really like you. You're not like the other girls," he whispered down to me. It sounded sort of like a line, but I didn't care.
"Thanks," I breathed back. I didn't want to be too loud. Anyone overhearing this would be embarrassing. "You're really nice too. Most people wouldn't have stuck around after Mugen harassed them like that."
He looked up at the hotel too, an unhappy expression on his face. "I'm not afraid of him."
"You should be."
"And I don't like you two staying up there alone together."
I laughed. "Oh, no. Mugen wouldn't do anything like that to me. He doesn't even like me all that much. I'm pretty sure he just sees me as some dumb little girl he always has to save."
Kazu shook his head and gave me a you-are-so-naive look. "I don't think so somehow. I think he does have extra feelings for you that you aren't aware of."
"And I think you're a little jealous, though you shouldn't be. Mugen is just Mugen, he'd never want me."
"Huh," Kazu huffed. He frowned and looked down at me. "Funny choice of words."
"What?"
"You said that he'd never want you. Not that you'd never want him."
I pressed my lips together. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. "Kazu, you know what I meant."
He nodded. "Yes, I do. That's why I'm confused about this. That doesn't mean I'm just going to stop liking you though. As long as you want me too, I'll be around."
And just like that he leaned in and kissed me. His lips pressed against mine and my head went fuzzy and tingly. A few seconds later he pulled away and out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw a shadow pass in the window of our room. Was Mugen home? That thought scared me a lot, and I was caught in a weird place for a few moments. Half of me was still reeling from the kiss, and half was scared of what Mugen would think if he saw that. Kazu had already started to walk away, so I had no choice but to go back up to the room and face me fears.
When I opened the door, I found the room empty and cold. So I guess I had been worried about nothing. But the bad feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away, and when I laid down for bed, I couldn't sleep. I waited for hours to see when Mugen would be back, but I ended up drifting off after all and he never came.
-Mugen-
I had waited, and waited, and waited for the brat to get home so I could cuss her out about lyin to me. I left the room dark since we were runnin low on fuel for the lanterns. I was by the window watchin the street as people went by one after another. No Fuu though.
I was gonna give up, because all the street was dark and the people hadn't been on it for hours, but then there she came. She was just strollin along the street like nothin was wrong. She had that jack-ass proper guy with her too, and they were holding hands. When I saw that, my stomach dropped about an inch. What the hell was she doin with this guy anyway? Didn't she know better by now? Every single time she got into one of these little flings with a guy, he ended up dead, or to be trickin her, or just a freak. Then she'd be all sad for days, and bring me and Jin down. It was going to be nothing but bitch, bitch, bitch for the next few months. And now that I was the only one around, she'd lay it all on me. Fuck.
They stopped right below me, and I stood up and moved to one side of the window so they couldn't see me. I was hidden in the shadow.
"Fuu, I really like you. You're not like the other girls." He was feeding her lines. Lame ones at that. Fuu wouldn't fall for that shit. At least she was smarter than that.
"Thanks. You're really nice too. Most people wouldn't have stuck around after Mugen harassed them like that."
What? She was actually going for that? What was her problem? And then he looked up at me, right where I was standing, but I wasn't sure if it was just luck or that he actually could see me. "I'm not afraid of him." Oh yeah, he saw me. He was fuckin challenging me.
At least Fuu was being smart about one thing, because she warned her little boyfriend. "You should be." That's right punk, Fuu knows.
But he kept on lookin at me. "And I don't like you two staying up there alone together."
That made me mad. Like I'd ever hurt Fuu like that. I mean, hell yeah I liked ladies to be rough with me, and all that. Hurting them though, wasn't my game. Well, not unless they hurt me first like they were going to kill me or sumthin.
"Oh, no. Mugen wouldn't do anything like that to me. He doesn't even like me all that much. I'm pretty sure he just sees me as some dumb little girl he always has to save."
Damn straight.
"Huh. Funny choice of words."
"What?"
"You said that he'd never want you. Not that you'd never want him."
Fuu looked a little frustrated. I don't think she meant it like that. Fuu didn't like me. Hell, I think she saw me as a dirty, pirating, pervert. I always had the feeling she had it for Jin.
"Kazu, you know what I meant."
"Yes, I do. That's why I'm confused about this. That doesn't mean I'm just going to stop liking you though. As long as you want me too, I'll be around."
What a sap, what a loser, what a- My thoughts came to crashing stop when the little fucker grabbed her and kissed her. I didn't do anything but stare like a goddamned idiot while he hade out with her right in front of me. I'd kill him, I'd do all sorts of fun stuff to him when I got my hands on him…I'd do something. And then he pulled back from her and left. Fuu stared lookin up here, at the window, but I got out of sight in time. I had to get out of this stupid room. I didn't want to see Fuu's face right now. I was pissed, probably a lot more than I had been earlier or in a long time. Why, I didn't know.
I laughed at myself. Of course I knew. I just didn't want to admit it was all. Not like it would help anything…I wasn't ever going to change, not for nobody. And what I was wasn't what she needed. But I kept goin back to what she said, because it caught my ear too. That I wouldn't want her; I didn't really. No, not unless someone else had her. Kind of my nature, being a pirate and all, that I only wanted the stuff other people had. Or thought they did. I only thought about Fuu like that when she had an interest in another guy and she wasn't hanging around me all the time. I wonder what Jin would have to say about that. He'd probably go on warning me about not compromising her honor. Fuckin Jin, he didn't even have useful advice when he was comin from my own head.
So I was gone by the time Fuu even got to the top of the stairs, out the window and down the street in the direction Kazu went. I was set on payin him a little visit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(a/n: I still think that I get more encouragement than I deserve. You all are being so patient with the whole slow-update thing. I appreciate it, and thank you all for the good things you have to say.)