Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Warm sunlight and the smell of ripening wheat sat upon his face heavily as he tucked his hands into his pockets, glancing up at the brilliant orb in the sky. Sighing, the blonde muttered something inaudible as he kicked at the dirt road beneath his feet. "Should've at least gotten a ride back to the city," he growled to himself, glancing about swiftly, perhaps to see if any cars were coming by. Maybe he could hitchhike.

There was nothing. No sign of life at all. The forest he'd just left lay behind him, quiet save for twittering birds; a dark line on an otherwise bright day. Now wheat fields stretched on and on, the side of the road lined with grass, then a never ending wooden fence just beyond the green blades. A summer-greened tree dotted the side of the road, offering him moments of shade from the heat, but it wasn't enough to keep him from sweating slightly.

Waving an inquisitive bug away from his face, he paused and sniffed. "Huh," he mused, stopping in the middle of the road. Since when did he sniff things out? But he could smell something on a sudden wind. It smelled familiar...like someone. Turning towards the road, he glanced back and forth. No one. Not even a bird. But the agonizingly familiar smell of human and white plums did not grow fainter.

The blade came out of nowhere, a flurry of whistling air and flashing steel. It slammed into his arm, piercing the skin and nicking the bone, all in less than a second. Naruto screamed fitfully, but rolled out of the way as three more knives flew out from the stalks of wheat, thudding into the ground where he'd been less than a second before. "H-Holy Crap!" he managed to yell, before running into the wheat field opposite from dangerous steel. Two more flashed towards him as he dove into the waving yellow stalks and threw himself on his stomach, watching as they flew on into the endless amber.

Huffing harshly, he sprang to his feet and began running, clutching at his arm, the blade moving against his bone at every step. Grunting softly, he yanked it out, nearly blacking out at the accompanying pain. Adrenaline hit his blood stream, and he put out another bust of speed. Footsteps could be heard behind him as he ran blindly into the sea of ripening vegetation. Crapohcrapohcrapohcrap ran through his mind like a mantra, his eyes wide, taking in every detail in the flurry of leaves. If he could hear the footsteps, it meant that his follower was close. He gripped the hilt of the throwing knife, but it had grown slippery with his blood, his right arm hanging limply beside him.

For the briefest of moments, the smell of white plums grew infinitely stronger, right before a lithe, short body slammed into him, tackling him to the ground. "Quiet," hissed, of all people, Hinata Hyuuga. She lay on top of him, her arm flung over his mouth as she gazed off in the distance, veins crisscrossing around her eyes. Pupiless eyes flicked back and forth then stilled. They found their target. But she didn't move. Didn't even breathe. And with her weight on Naruto's chest, he didn't either. Of course, he also passed out for a second or two...

His vision cleared finally as the pain in his arm receded, but Hinata was still there, lightly slapping his cheek. Her face was creased with worry, the Byakugan inactivated. However, she was still lying on top of him. "Are you all right?" she whispered harshly. All she received was a groan. "What?"

"Oooffff," he finally managed, wincing.

She blushed fitfully, despite the situation, and rolled off, but gripped his arm with a stronger hand than he'd expected, helping him to his feet. "We have to move. Someone's targeting you." She still spoke in a whisper, her eyes once again flicking back and forth.

"Who?" Naruto's world still spun dizzily, and the only thing still holding him up was the adrenaline pulsing through his raw veins. The pain in his arm had receded, oddly enough. Almost disappeared, in fact. The blade in his hand had stopped dripping blood and now began to dry and flake rusty chips. Gripping his head, he pressed a hand against his forehead, leaving a bloody imprint. "What's going on? How'd you get here so fast?"

"Not now," Hinata grunted, pulling him deeper into the fields. "Later." She raised a finger to her lips, still blushing. Busying herself with a small pouch strapped to her leg, she pulled out another knife and pushed it into his hand. It was a long blade, with the words 'Deo Vinde' stamped into the metal of the blade.

"Nice toothpick," he grunted, fingering the edge as they ran, managing to nick himself. A trail of blood leaked from the cut, but quickly stopped. In fact, so did the pain. Wiping the blood away, there was no cut. "Huh," was all he managed before sunlight hit his face again.

They broke through the wheat onto a tractor trail, but the Hyuuga heir didn't break stride, instead leading him up the meager road and around a bend. A small farmhouse came into view, complete with a little white picket fence, a red barn, and an accompanying silo. She angled towards it, hopped the fence, and yanked him towards the garage. A powerful looking green pickup sat in the middle of the driveway, half cast in shadow from the house. Without a word, Hinata tried the door. Open. Pushing the hapless Naruto inside, she yanked out some wires from below the dashboard, hotwired the car, and threw it in gear. A woman rounded the corner of the house just in time to watch the family car peel out, throwing driveway gravel every which way before taking off and out the gate before she could yell at them to stop.

Naruto's mantra began again, this time slightly more audibly. "OhcrapohcrapohcrapOHCRAP!!" A face peered out of the wheat as they flashed by, gears grinding as Hinata fumbled with the unfamiliar manual transmission. The face had a radio pressed to his mouth, his eyes wide with surprise. "He's calling in backup!"

Hinata frowned slightly, glancing out the side mirror. Then, she blanched. "Falcons," she grunted, her Byakugan activating as she spun the wheel, turning the truck straight back into the wheat. Naruto spun, just in time to see a Falcon swoop in, its black blades thwopping dully in the dusty air, the pilot's black helmet staring out at them from the cockpit. A second helmet in the Falcon stuck its head out the window and aimed a large canister at them. There was a dull 'thwomp' as needles burst from the canister, peppering the bed of the truck with thousands of shiny stalks.

"Delphi's gonna see that," yelled Naruto over the thrumming Falcon engine above them.

"I-I know! Hopefully, we'll be able to outrun them before the Royal Guard shows up." Hinata jerked the wheel to serve as another 'thwomp' sounded out behind them. Needles rained down and were lost in the wheat. They broke through the field and onto a dirt path. The tires spun for a moment, before jerking into a fishtail. Naruto slammed against the glass, then rammed back into his seat, smacking something behind him painfully. Rubbing his head, he glanced up. A gun rack. Two shotguns. Without thinking, he grabbed one, rolled down the window, and aimed at the Falcon.

He screamed once, a long, drawn out 'Yaaaahhh', and squeezed off a shot, the cockpit windshield crackling with the spread-shot. The Falcon veered, and came at them from Hinata's side.

"Naruto! What are you doing!" the girl screamed, turning the wheel again.

"I dunno!" he yelled right back. But he sure as anything wasn't going to do nothing. "If I'm gonna die, I might as well do something, right?"

He didn't hear the canister fire until it was too late. Hinata ducked as her window shattered, several needles zipping over her head. Naruto wasn't quite so lucky. "Augh!" Three needles stabbed into his arm, two into his side, and five into his leg. Dropping the gun, he yelled fitfully, not quite sure which part of his body to help first. He could feel himself black out as the points moved against organs and bone, scratching and tearing.

The last thing he saw was a terrified Hinata, throwing him a look of horror as he slow bled into darkness.

---

"Falcon eight four six nine, stand down. You are unauthorized to fly. I repeat, Falcon…"

The cries went unheeded and bled into a thousand other voices as Konoha's Central Command went haywire. Here in between the drab walls of one of the city's highest skyscrapers, several floors were dedicated to the enforcement and dedication to peace and pure politics. And now, it was nothing more than thousands of people running around as if they were chickens with their heads cut off. What was going on? How could this happen in their virtually crime free world? Where did that Falcon come from? Why was a chasing a truck in the middle of nowhere? Glass reflected and diffused the light from the late afternoon sun, over all the little people doing their best to keep their world from coming apart at the seams.

Delphi herself was running to her maximum, doing what she could to help. And at that moment, that included watching the bizarre chase from remote cameras. The pickup swerved left and right immediately after the side attack, but then corrected itself and kept roaring on, the Falcon following in hot pursuit.

Tsunade stood in the middle of the melee, shouting a few orders, and having a few orders shouted at her. This was not going well. "Delphi! How long until our Falcons intercept?"

"Three minutes and forty-five seconds," Delphi's image of herself had frozen on the wall screen, as the city-mind was far too busy with other things to bother animating it. "Tsunade, the pickup's driver is jamming me somehow. I cannot access their data."

"This whole thing is insane," snapped Tsunade, running a hand furiously through her hair. Slamming a fist on a wall, it fractured slightly as the she paced back and forth amidst the chaos. "Why aren't they using guns? The pickup doesn't seem to have a problem using them. Why needles?"

"I cannot guess," came Delphi's voice, whispering to her ear directly instead of over the speakers. Those were busy enough. "Perhaps they wish to detain those in the car?"

"Why?" The thought was new to the blonde. "And why take such a risk as use a Falcon?" The helicopter like vehicle was silent on the screen, but she could imagine the roaring of the engine and blades just by watching. The pickup swerved again, and this time, a blonde head burst from the passenger seat window, climbed onto the roof, and aimed a shotgun at the Falcon.

"Wow, I'd say that's one gutsy idiot."

The voice startled her, and she spun to greet the man behind her. "Kakashi!"

"Yo!" The masked man smiled softly, his lazy eye sweeping over the mayhem. "Looks like you'll be needing our help."

---

Plip. Plip. Plip.

The sound echoed eerily in the dim, yellow light, almost unreal, yet there. Hollow and devoid of essence. But there. Naruto stirred in the dank, stale water, standing slowly, before rapidly feeling at his limbs and sides. No marks. No needles. "Huh." His voice, like the drops, echoed about his head.

"Come to visit, child?"

This voice did not echo, but simply fell like a lead weight into the frigid, heartless air. "Oh, I suppose not then."

Turning slowly around, Naruto saw nothing. Just corridors. Pipes. Grates puffing steam. And yellow water. "Where am I?" He moved forward, and turned a corner. Nothing. Just more sewer. The whole place had the feeling of a washed out newspaper, not old, just worn. Tired and trying to find peace where none was. It was unsettling. Perhaps he was under the city? He'd never been down there, but he'd read it was like a massive crypt, with defiled water running down into the depths of the earth for an eternity. Turning another corner, he paused.

Bars. Massive, widely spaced bars stretched across the room, blocking him from going further. A single, blank piece of paper hung from the middle bar, plain and old looking.

"So, this is where you've locked yourself up, eh?" Naruto couldn't help but smirk. After all, a demon had effectively trapped itself in his mind.

Like pale golden moons, two eyes blinked at him from behind the cage, followed by the characteristic Cheshire cat grin. "Welcome, child, to my humble abode. And indeed, it is humble, for your mind does not seem to offer much else in accommodations. Perhaps you should read more books?"

Naruto muttered something under his breath, before shaking his head. "No, wait, I don't have time to trade insults."

"Mmm, I noticed. Quite a dangerous little game you're playing. Kind of like cat and mouse." The smile widened. "And you're the mouse." The eyes turned into slits. "Allow me to make an educated guess. You need help?"

"Great, you all ready know what I want." Naruto held out a hand, as if a child asking for money from his mother. "So gimme, furball."

Kyubbi chuckled, amused by the insolence, but grinned, before a loud roaring ripped from his throat. Chakra, red and hot, burned out of the cave, splashing around the bars.

Straight into the waiting Naruto.

---

Naruto jerked awake so hard, it startled Hinata. She stared as the boy as he sat up trembling, his eyes wide with...what? Pain? Elation? Without warning, he tore the needles out and bowed, hands on his knees, head hanging. Steam seemed to rise from his arms, legs and sides as the wounds below stitched themselves and healed. A feral snarl tore from his throat as his fingers elongated, his nails turning into claws. Red chakra began to form from his stomach, then spread out, consuming him as he snapped his head up and stared at her.

Jerking the car in surprise, Hinata almost couldn't stare back at the blood crimson eyes. Dark and deep, heavy with age and youth all at once. His pupils dilated as he smirked, revealing elongated canines. The marks on his cheeks stood out starkly against the tan skin. "Just keep driving straight, 'kay?" His voice was guttural, like a feral animal. "Don't shake me off." Jerking the second shotgun off the wall, he checked the chambers, snapped it shut, then clambered up onto the roof. The fields and fence flashed by in rapid succession, blindingly blurry. Warm sunlight caught his face as he smirked straight at the tailing vehicle. If the Falcon pilot was surprised, he didn't show it, but the shooter was definitely weirded out as the boy stood on top the car, leaning slightly against the wind, and cocked a gun at the cockpit. "Kiss kiss, bang bang."

The shotgun bucked in his hand, spraying its shot out, finally destroying the Falcon's windshield before the pilot decided it was time to move. Skirting around to the back of the truck, another needle canister was aimed. Cursing blithely under his breath, he aimed again, but missed as the truck swerved around a pothole. And now, of course, the shotgun was empty.

Thwomp! The needles fired again, Naruto barely managing to roll into the pickup's bed, thinking frantically. "Drastic times call for drastic-Augh!" A stray needle found his thigh, but he pulled it out. "All right, now I'm mad." Without thinking, he took a running leap at the low flying Falcon, the unnatural chakra flowing through his body enhancing the impossible jump. He soared for a brief moment, arms outstretched like wings. He had no idea what he was doing. No really thought either. Time seemed to slow to a trickle, and he could count the individual rotations of the Falcon's blades. He could see the panicked look behind the pilot's facemask as the boy flew slowly towards his body, hands struggling with the controls. But surprised had killed him. The blade Hinata had given to him was pulled swiftly from his waistband, where he'd put it earlier. 'Deo Vinde' flashed on the blade moments before Naruto flew through the shattered windshield, straight onto the pilot. Time resumed, then sped up.

The chair that the pilot had been sitting in creaked as Naruto landed in a crouch in the pilot's lap, before he drew the blade backhanded over the man's neck, severing the jugular and flipping over the masked head, away from the inevitable spew of arterial blood. The gunner in the back screamed once, pulled the needle canister to his shoulder and fired while Naruto was still in the air. The blonde grabbed the pilot, still squirming in his death throes, and swung him in front like a shield, thousands of needles puncturing the flesh and around, destroying the cockpit controls and whatever remained of the windshield. Tossing the body aside, Naruto could feel the Falcon dip towards the ground. This was not going to be pleasant. Moving faster than humanly possible, he slammed his shoulder into the gunner, and stabbed through the sternum bone as if it were made of butter. The man gasped, clawing at the blade imbedded in his bone, horrified. "H-how...did--"

Drawing his palm back, Naruto slammed the hilt of the blade, driving the tip through the man's heart. "You made it easy," came the feral voice, chuckling sadistically; he yanked the blade out, trailing with sticky, coppery blood. Then, the Falcon struck the ground.

---

Hinata watched in terror as the Falcon behind her slammed into the ground, ground for several meters, and came to a stop. With a dull 'whump', the gasoline in the tank ignited from friction, and erupted. "No! Naruto!" She couldn't help but scream the name as a single, blonde body shot from the inferno, propelled by the eruption. He bounced once on the dirt road, rolled, and came to a stop against a fence post with a sickening crunch, several ribs snapping like twigs. Stopping the car, she ran out towards the smoking, bleeding, broken mess. Stopping short of the body, she covered her mouth and stifled a sob, before kneeling and rolling his corpse away from the post. "N-Narut-to..."

He looked dead. Absolutely and totally. The chakra had dissipated, and the cheek marks had become once again, simply lines. Limbs were twisted in odd angles, the grass slowly being painted red from a gash on his back. His skin was peppered with shrapnel, cut to ribbons. His mouth was slack, and his eyes were glazed over, unseeing, staring at the sky. Staring beyond it. Hinata touched his head softly, then passed a hand down his bloody cheek softly. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now. Cry? Mourning the loss of someone she barely knew seemed strange. And yet, he had saved her life by sacrificing his. In the distance, she could hear the dull thunder of the Royal Guard's Falcons. She had to get his body out of here. She couldn't just leave him. Hoisting him up, she set her transmission beacon so the others could find her, and pulled him into the truck. She'd have to ditch the car, but for now, she just had to get away.

A flurry of dust, and she was gone.

---

"They got away, Leader." The voice, was dispassionate. "In retrospect, I should have gone after him myself, instead of exposing ourselves."

The Leader growled. "The heir is gone, Itachi! This is beyond failure. This is an utter catastrophe. The Key is vastly important, and your men killed him." In the stillness of the cave, his voice rang out, echoing, and doubling back. Then, they stilled. "We cannot find them for now. They are well hidden. For now, we continue with our plan."

"I have a suggestion, Leader." Itachi stared up at the white eyes boring into him. "Send Gaara to look for them. This will be a sign of his loyalty. This is a perfect test to see exactly what your laborious works have forged."

A pause. Quiet. "Yes, yes, this idea has merit. Tell Gaara of the arrangements. I will send plans down soon." The Leader smiled softly, almost kindly. "And Itachi, see that neither you, nor Gaara fail. I'd hate to lose such valuable players."

---

Orochimaru sighed, his face grim as he watched the feed through a remote link direct from the city-mind's connections. That had cost him a pretty penny, but then again, he could afford it. Frowning, he watched as the downed Falcon was cleaned up by diligent people in white hazard suits. Sprays of CO2 flew from their canisters, extinguishing the fire in white foam. Steepleing his fingers before his face, he watched the screen over his fingertips. This was not good. This was Akatsuki. That sort of reckless behavior could only be attributed to them.

Grunting, he lifted a phone. It was time to enter this little game.

---ooo---

This is a refrence to an Arkansas Toothpick. Lookit up. It's a wicked cool knife. Deo Vinde is also a refrence, but to the Civil War, when the Toothpick was first used. It means, "God will Vindicate" in Latin.

This chappie is noticably shorter than my last one, but, yeah, my muse fled. Sorry it took so long to get up as well, but then again, I'm not in the minority here. XP

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang By Keoki I feel like a cheated on this one, since I've never really listened to this song. Not beyond the 30 second thing on Itunes, anyway. But it was so perfect, I had to put it in. And no, I never saw the movie.

Next chappie started. Gaara gets to show. For now, I leave you with a quasi-cliffie. Get over it.

-Raz