Yayz, it is Chapter Four and we get up to 100 ways to annoy Bellorum. And a bonus way, woo!
Disclaimer: The Icemark Chronicles aren't mine, and neither is 2319 (it's from Monsters Inc.)
60.) Run up to him pointing urgently in some random direction shouting "2319! We have a 2319!!!" and see what he does.
61.) Look at him weirdly and say "I know why sexy left"
62.) When he comes back from battle, say "I don't know, but I spotted several big mistakes."
63.) Arrange the fingers on both his fake hands so that they're flipping him off.
64.) Put an electromagnet outside his tent so that his fake hand will get stuck to it, preferably when it's attached to him.
65.) A few days after Number 64, point behind him and yell "LOOK OUT! AN ELECTROMAGNET!!!!" Laugh when he flinches.
66.) Whenever he passes by, laugh and then try to cover it up with a cough. He won't be able to sleep 'cause he's trying to figure out what you're laughing at.
67.) Get "Gotta Go My Own Way" from High School Musical 2 stuck in his head.
68.) Stare at him weirdly, doing the Eyebrow Thing, for a really long time.
69.) When he's going off to battle, snort and go "Tsk. Last season's armor. How tacky."
70.) When he's explaining tactics in a meeting say, "Duh" really loudly.
71.) Say loudly to the person next to you, "Don't you think he's balding a little?"
72.) After this, offer him Hair in a Can (from the SpongeBob movie)
73.) Go up to him on parade, shove a teddy bear in his face and yell, "You left Pooky Bear in the mess tent! How COULD you?!?!?!"
74.) Whenever he says something insulting about Thirrin, yell, "Oh no you didn't!" in his ear. (Daily Show joke)
75.) Put Superglue in his boots in the morning before he puts them on. Then he will never ever be able to take his feet out again.
76.) Spray Febreze all over his stuff when he can see you, then leave some men's he puts them on deodorant in his tent.
77.) Make him wear The Boot from SpongeBob. (In case you don't know, The Boot is very stinky)
78.) Wonder out loud how he can be over sixty, and not look all wrinkly and gross. Optional: run up to him when he's addressing the entire Polypontian army and yell "HA HA! I STOLE YOUR BOTOX!!!!!"
79.) Julius Caesar kept journals. Since according to Wikipedia he is similar to Julius Caesar, ask if he keeps journals. Search his tent and find a sparkly pink journal (that you planted there, of course). Optional: write stuff in it. In sparkly glitter pen. It could be about how he has a hopeless crush on Thirrin.
80.) Get the Waka Laka song stuck in his head. Make it his theme song. When he really, really hates it, sing it distractingly in the middle of a battle, right in his ear.
81.) Dare him to eat Pop Rocks and chug soda at the same time. When he says no, roll your eyes and go "Wimp."
82.) Put Mentos in a 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke, shake it up, and slam it on the ground at such an angle that it flies up and whacks him on the head.
83.) Make him swallow some of the helium from the sky-ships right before he addresses the army. Then his voice will be all squeaky!
84.) Ask him how on earth he intends to get through airport security with those metal hands.
85.) Ask him why he still calls Thirrin "queenling" even though everyone knows she is in her thirties. Say, "Maaaaaaybe…it's because you LIKE her!"
86.) When he and Thirrin are facing each other, play that song that goes "secret love…"
87.) Comment that his battle tactics need more cowbell.
88.) Put itching powder in his uniform.
89.) Fill his bed with porcupines on steroids.
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90.) Get him and Thirrin to play 'Off-ground' Tag in the middle of the battlefield. Thirrin can use Tharaman-Thar as base - Chaos!
91.) When his army is charging forwards, get Thirrin's to stay back, then when ALL the enemy is on the field, play 'Everybody Dance Now' as loud as possible.
92.) Challenge him to arm wrestling when he's lost his hand.
93.) Get Yoshi (the green dinosaur from 'Super Mario') to lick him whenever he's in front of anyone, or, when he becomes paranoid, give Yoshi an Invisiblity Cloak (from Harry Potter) and suction cups that work on tent walls.
94.) Bombard him with small guinea pigs with parachutes and pea-shooters.
95.) Get Thirrin an alliance with the pink and purple flying mushrooms that haunt me so...
96.) As he sucks at both Pacman and the Bubble game, get him 42 classic games for the DS and laugh whenever he flunks.
97.) Challenge him to a dancing competition and get Odie (from Garfield the Movie) to go against him for Thirrin's team.
98.) Write 'IDIOT' on his forehead in permenant and flourescent yellow marker and get everyone he meets to laugh and point but not tell him why.
99.) Make him bend over to pick up a cup of coffee in front of his men and then rip a piece of fabric behind him. Laugh at his stricken and terrified expression. - Tigerwulf
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100.) Fill a piece of buttercrunch with Superglue on the day before a huge army announcement. He will eat it (because buttercrunch is awesome), get his mouth stuck shut and not be able to talk at his army announcement. –Silver Wind Neko
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BONUS! 101.) Read this fic to him out loud, slowly. –Boomerang Fish again
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A/N: WOOHOO! 100 ways to annoy Scipio Bellorum, plus a bonus way! Even though the title says 100 ways, I'm continuing this, since it's just so much fun.
Bye for now, but if you're waiting for the next update, read Icemark Inboxes, it's my first fic and if anything MORE random than this. And leave suggestions!
-Boomerang Fish