Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight (weeps) or Edward (sobs)
This chapter takes place about a month after Edward leaves and is from both Bella's and Edward's POV's
The song for Bella's POV is What You Wanted, by Angus and Julia Stone
The song for Edward's POV is Stupid Like This by Daniel Powter

Bella's POV

It's been one month, since he left.

Life without Edward is awful, its black and dark, and I feel like I can't see, like I can't breath, as though I'm suffocating in my own life.

I felt whole when I was with him, when he still loved me. Now that he's gone I feel empty.

After that day in the meadow we didn't speak again, didn't communicate, excepting my letter. About a week after he left I sent him a letter with the locket he had given me, I'd explained why I couldn't keep it, because it was a reminder of our love, a love which he no longer shared. I had signed it Love Bella, but then crossed the love out, because it hurt so much even to write the words, besides they had little meaning when the other person no longer felt that way.

I still sit with Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett, and I pretend to be fine, I listen when they talk, and laugh in all the appropriate places, but I think they see through me. We have an unspoken agreement, never mention Edward. After he first left everyone kept trying to 'talk about it' but after I burst into tears one to many times they stopped trying.

Every now and then I catch myself off guard and I find myself laughing at a joke or something. Its in those few seconds that I feel a little better, but immediately afterwards I actually feel guilty, which is stupid because its not like I owe him something, its not like he feels the same way.

If there's one thing I couldn't bear it would be Charlie knowing how I felt, so I was forced to tell him what Edward had told me, about our spilt being 'for my own good'. So Charlie thought that I was only 'sad' because he was gone, not because he didn't love me anymore. Charlie actually approved of Edward's actions, if only he knew.

Edward's POV

It's been one month since I left.

Life without Bella is empty, dark and I can finally sympathize with Catherine from Wuthering Heights, when she says "If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn in to a mighty stranger; I could not seem a part of it."

Well now that Bella is gone, the world is a mighty stranger, and I've completely detached myself from it.

It was the worse a week or so after I moved, Bella had gotten my address off Jasper and had sent me a letter in which she enclosed the necklace I had gotten her for her birthday,

Dear Edward,
I had to send you this necklace because it hurts too much to wear it now, now that you're gone, and besides, now that you don't love me its pretty much lost all of its meaning. Anyway, you brought it, so I thought I better give it to you. Please don't reply
Love (A/N pretend the Love has a line through it, this document thing wont allow it)
Bella

It was the crossed out love that hurt me the most, as well as 'please don't reply'. I trust that she still loves me, but it still hurt me so much that she couldn't say it anymore. Had I hurt her that much?

At my new school I haven't really made any friends, at first everyone, especially the girls used to try to talk to me, but they've given up now. I can't say I blame them; I'm not much company. I still email and stuff with Emmett and Jasper, but conversation is stunted and awkward because all I want to do is ask about Bella, but I know I can't.

Since that time in the meadow I haven't played the piano, let alone composed anything, because life without Bella is devoid of any inspiration for me.

I know it's not healthy to feel the way I do, but what am I supposed to do? All I can, and do, do is try not to drag anyone down with me. So for my parents' sake I try to act normal. I make sure I get perfect grades, I tell them I've made friends, and I'm careful never to think of her when they're around, because if I do its way too hard to pretend.

Sorry it's such a short chapter, I just needed to convey how depressed they are.
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