Chapter 17

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Disclaimer: I don't own twilight (weeps) or Edward (sobs) from Bella's POV

The song for this chapter is Sway by Bic Rumba, and then Apologize by One Republic

Bella's POV (start Sway now)

I was listening to my MP3 player and reading on my bed, trying to lose myself in the fictional world, and forget the real one, when I heard the faint sound of the doorbell ring. I paused my MP3 player and ran down to answer it because Charlie was still at work. When I saw who it was I was torn between wanting to hug and kiss them, and slam the door in their face. Because standing in front of me, with an apologetic look on his face, and a bouquet of flowers in his arms, was Edward.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I asked, honestly curious to hear the answer, for all my fantasies about his return, I had never imagined it possible.

"I moved back Bella" Oh, I hadn't expected that.

"Huh, why?"

"Because of you Bella, it broke my heart leaving you, and it broke my parents' to see me like that, Bella, I love you, I need you."

Oh my god, it was happening he had come back, and he wanted me, it was like a dream come true, I was about to leap into his arms, when I remembered what he had done, how fickle and cruel he had been. How could I possibly believe the words coming out of his mouth? How could I forgive him?

"Right, well even if what you're saying is true, you can't have me back." I said coolly. He had the audacity to look surprised,

"What, I thought you loved me? Do you hate me for leaving that much, that you can't see that I was telling the truth about my reasons for not wanting a long distance relationship?"

" I don't hate you for leaving, I hate you for wanting to go" I said, outwardly composed, but breaking on the inside

"WANTING TO GO, WANTING TO GO, HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT I WANTED TO GO?" he shouted.

"Oh I don't know, I guess that's what happens when you think your boyfriend loves you, then he has to leave, you say you want to keep the relationship going, he says no, giving you some bullshit lie about it being for your good! Then you get mad, so you leave, and he avoids you like the plague until the day he goes" I shouted back, starting to cry now.

"Bella, I told you the truth, and I avoided you because I thought that's what you wanted." I took a deep breath, and regained my composure,

"Whatever Edward"

"So that's it then? You just don't care anymore?"

"Oh that's rich, coming from you, of all the people to lecture about not caring anymore."

"I'll wait for you Bella, I'll show you that I love you"

"Goodbye Edward" I sang, giving a falsely cheery smile and slamming the door in his face.

After some time I heard his car pull away, and I promptly slid down the door and burst into tears, I buried my head in my hands, and even though my MP3 player was still paused, I could hear the lyrics of the song I had been listening to reverberate in my mind

My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart

I woke up, dreading the day. Normal Monday's were bad enough, but today there was the added knowledge that Edward would be there. And that we had biology, I had never gotten a new lab partner, so Edward would return to his old place, and doubtlessly would keep declaring his love, while I studiously ignored him.

And I hated that more than anything, ignoring him, because truth be told my entire being ached for him, and I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again. But that couldn't happen, he had broken my heart, and it was too late to sticky tape it up again, I couldn't ever take him back, knowing that he was so ready to abandon me.

I hated that even though he had hurt me so much I couldn't fully hate him, for every negative thought about him that crossed my mind, a thousand good ones came also.

I loved him-irrevocably- but I had to look out for myself as well.

So I climbed into my Chevy, and drove even slower than usual, aiming to be a few minutes late so that Edward couldn't wait in the car park for me. I pulled up at school and looked at my watch-mission accomplished. I gathered my books from my locker and ran to biology, entering the lab when the teacher was just about to mark the roll. "Sorry I'm late sir" I panted. He gave a stiff nod, signaling I was excused as I walked down the aisle and took my seat next to Edward. I glared at him with such ferocity that the whole room could feel it. They stared at me; they had probably assumed I would run back to Edward first chance I got.

I focused on the lecture, taking immaculate notes, trying to ignore the distraction that was Edward. My distraction however wasn't happy with being ignored, and presently a note landed on my desk,

Bella, talk to me, I love you, we can sort this out

(start Apologize)
I crumpled the note up and threw it behind me, refusing to acknowledge it. Although I was refusing to even look at Edward, out of my peripheral vision I saw him scowl and write another note. He passed it over to me, and this time I didn't even bother to unfold it before chucking it away. This cycle repeated at least three times before I raised my hand,

"Yes Miss Swan?"

"Excuse me sir, but I was wondering if I could swap biology partners" I asked, or pleaded.

"And why would that be necessary?" Mr. Banner asked.

"Edward is a distraction from my work, an unwelcome one."

"Is that so Miss Swan?"

"Yes sir"

"That's funny, I seem to remember you two…got on well" he said, a little amused. I blushed as I remembered our make out session in biology.

"Yes well, things have changed sir, can I get a new partner"

"No, you'll just have to learn to ignore him" said Mr. Banner, turning back to his lecture, easier said than done, I thought.

After what felt like a lifetime the bell rang, and I ran out of class, eager to get away from Edward. I sat through class, paying close attention, trying to avoid thinking of Edward; finally the bell rang for lunch. I walked to the cafeteria…and stopped at the door, because there, sitting at my table, with my friends, was Edward. How dare he. True, he was their friend first, but still. I couldn't possibly sit there now. So I waited in line, got my food, and walked calmly over to Angela and Ben's table. They looked up, surprised, but not annoyed, "Hi guys, mind if I sit here?" I asked.

"Of course not Bella, have a seat" said Angela, gesturing towards the seat next to her. I prayed a silent prayer of thanks that Jessica was away today, and Mike in a detention, because otherwise they would be sitting here too. As it was I was getting death glares from Lauren, and being eyed by Tyler. I ate my lunch and tried to ignore them, chatting casually with Angela. God Bless Angela, she seemed to know exactly what was going on, and that Edward was a taboo topic.

After lunch I got up to put my tray in the bin, and walked to my locker. Standing there was Alice; I gave a small smile, "Hey Alice"

"Hi Bella"

"So, are you still going to Seattle on the weekend?" I asked, as it was the only thing I could think of that didn't involve Edward.

"Yeah, hey Bella, he really does love you, he was telling the tru…" I cut her off.

"See you around Alice" I said, walking away. I couldn't believe what I was being forced to give up, first Edward, and now my friends. I was just all so unfair!

Oh poor Bella! Poor Edward!
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