Thanks for the reviews last chapter. I loved them! I know that I haven't been able to update that often but I'm working like crazy right now and I'm writing the outline for my new fic that I want to post after this one is finished. I have to say...its awesome. hahaha. Again I would like to thank my beta Lil-Miss-Sarcasm AKA RJ for helping me out. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill
--
Chapter 33
"What is it mom?" I asked my voice laced with concern.
"It's your father… he had a heart attack its pretty bad sweetie."
"Oh he had a heart attack," I stated. The man that I had barely seen or talked to since I was seven suffered from a heart attack. How was I supposed to react to this news?
"Where is he?" I asked. I realized that I hadn't even been aware of my father's whereabouts since I was thirteen.
"Well apparently he is in Charlotte in North Carolina."
"Wow that's uh pretty close to here." I said while slightly stammering.
Gee Dad thanks for letting me know you live like 40 minutes away from me. My Dad knew I went to Duke my mom said she called him when I got my acceptance letter to tell him.
"Hales I had no idea that he remarried and settled there, his parents just called the house so they could tell me the news and they wanted me to pass it on to you."
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" I asked suddenly becoming angry.
"Honey, he's asking for you." My mom said softly knowing what was about to come out of my mouth next.
"My so called father hasn't given a shit about me for how many years and he just expects me to drop everything and come running the moment he even utters my name!" I said slightly shouting. I realized it wasn't my mom's fault so I lowered my voice.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay Hales I know you're confused."
"What do I do?" I asked my voice breaking.
"I can't make that decision for you sweetie, but whatever you decide I'll support you."
"Thanks mom." I said and I was surprised to find that my eyes were slightly watering.
"No problem Hales, I'm gonna go now. Call me if you need anything."
"Okay," I hesitated for a minute. "Mom?"
"Yeah Haley."
"Are you going to fly out here to see him?" I asked.
"I don't think so, as much as I did love your father a very long time ago that ship has sailed."
"So that means I have to do this on my own?" I asked in a scared voice.
"Oh honey, you are never alone you have some pretty amazing people in your live. And you don't have to go see your father if you don't want to."
"Thanks mom, I just need to think about things."
"Okay sweetie, I'll talk to you later."
"Bye mom."
I looked up to see Nathan in the doorway looking at me with concerned eyes. He walked over to be and pulled me into a hug. "How long have you been standing there?" I asked my voice muffled by his chest.
"Long enough." He stated. "Come on." He sat on the bed and pulled my down with him my head laying on his lap soon enough I felt his hands softly patting my hair down.
"Nathan I'm okay, its not like I care about him or anything." But the grip I had on Nathans hand and the tears that were now freely flowing down my eyes said otherwise.
"Shhh, its okay I'm here."
"I'm so confused."
"I know but you'll figure it out and whatever you decide I'm here. I'll always be here."
And that's how I fell asleep with my head in Nathan's lap and his hand stroking my hair whispering comforting words into my ear.
And for the first time in a long time, I actually felt…safe.
"So are you going to go?" Rachel asked me while sitting on my bed alongside Brooke and Peyton.
"Yeah, I think I'll regret it if I don't." I said softly while pulling a duffle bag out of my closet.
"Well we'll go with you." Peyton said resolutely.
"Yeah, tutor-girl." Brooke agreed while nodding her head.
"No you guys I love you for offering but I don't want you dropping everything plus Nathan is coming with me." I said stuffing a few jeans and shirts into my duffle bag.
"Well why are you packing for an overnight bag? Isn't Charlotte like an hour away?" Rachel asked.
"I figured that we should just check into a hotel, just in case it takes me some time before I go see Jimmy."
"Hales, you know its okay for you to be scared right?" Brooke told me cautiously.
"But I'm not scared, Jimmy could be gone right now and I wouldn't even blink an eyelash. I've done alright without him my whole life. I'm simply going there to show him that I'm doing fine without him."
"Look you guys I'm gonna go Nathan is waiting for me in the car downstairs." I zipped up my bag and slung it over my shoulder while giving Brooke, Peyton and Rachel hugs on the way out.
No matter how many times I tell everyone else that I'm not scared, fact of the matter is, I'm scared shitless.
"I'm worried about her." Peyton said later that night in the kitchen while having dinner with Rachel and Brooke.
"I know this has to be hard for her. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through." Rachel said picking at her spaghetti.
"Well at least she has Nathan with her." Brooke said looking up at the other two.
"She's really lucky that she found someone like him." Rachel stated. "Remember her goal at the start of the school year?"
"Oh yeah," Peyton replied. "I remember something about swearing off guys." She said while laughing slightly.
"Look how that turned out." Brooke shot back.
"I just hope she's okay, that girl has had one hell of a year." Rachel said.
"We all have, but I think she is going to be okay." Peyton replied.
"All of us are."
"Nathan I CANNOT listen to anymore rap." I said exasperated as Eminem blast through the speakers.
"Okay." Nathan said while reaching over for the radio and changing the Eminem CD to a Mayday Parade CD I had brought in the car with me.
"Don't do that." I said narrowing my eyes at him.
"Do what?" He asked innocently.
"Don't change the CD because you feel sorry for me!" I groaned.
"How do you know that I changed the CD because of you? Maybe I'm tired of listening to rap too." He said.
"Oh please. Usually when we're in the car we fight for about an hour trying to decide what music to listen to and then if by chance I do get to listen to something other than rap it's only because I bribed you with something." I said while crossing my arms over my chest and facing by body towards his.
"Hales, I'm just worried about you."
"Well don't, I told you I'm fine."
Other than the night where I found out about Jimmy and cried to Nathan about it I have shown no emotion towards the subject.
"Hales, it's okay to cry or scream or whatever. Anything is better than just walking around like a zombie."
"I am not walking around like a zombie, look we're almost there let's just not talk about this anymore and get this over with."
Nathan reluctantly nodded and we spent the next ten or so minutes in silence. And in those moments my mind ran free. Was he going to recognize me? What was he going to say to me? Hell what was I going to say to him? What if his new family was there, the one he traded me and mom in for? What the hell was I supposed to say to them?
"We're here." I looked up to see that Nathan had parked the car in the parking lot of the hospital.
I nodded and opened my car door and walked into the hospital doors with Nathan in tow.
"Hi how can I help you?" The woman at the front desk greeted us.
"I'm here to see Jimmy James." I said curtly.
"Okay just give me a few minutes." I looked around the hospital while the woman rapidly typed in letters on her computer. I suddenly felt a hand grabbed mine and I looked down to see Nathans hand intertwined with mine. I looked up and gave him a small smile as he gave my hand a little squeeze.
"Room 399." I looked up and the woman handed both me and Nathan passes. "You might want to hurry visiting hours end in 20 minutes." I nodded and Nathan pulled me by the hand and led me down the halls.
All of the sudden my heart started beating really fast and I felt anxious. If Nathans hand wasn't holding my own I would have turned around and drove all the way back to Duke in a heartbeat.
"We're here." Nathan and I stopped in front of a door that was marked 399.
I cautiously opened the door determined not to let my nerves show. I walked down the hall into the room to find Jimmy sleeping on the bed and a woman about his age sleeping in the chair next to him with a little boy who looked about four sleeping on her lap.
I took a sharp intake of breath.
This was his new family.
His better family.
I forgot all about Nathan, and I ran out of the room. Tears were now flowing down my face and I felt like I couldn't breathe, like the room was suffocating me. I ran into the waiting room and leaned my back against the wall outside of Jimmy's room. Moments later I felt Nathan's presence next to me as he slid his arms around my waist.
"It's okay Hales." He whispered into my ears as he kissed my temple.
I slid down to the floor with Nathan and these gut retching sobs were coming out of my mouth.
"I'm not ready for this." I said in between cries as Nathan continued to plant soft kisses on my temple.
"Its okay baby, it's going to be okay."
"Can we just go to the hotel?" I said in a broken voice after my tears had substantially subsided.
"Of course." Nathan picked me up off the ground and brought me into a hug. "Hales, I love you. I'm going to help you get through this." He whispered into my ear.
It was at that moment when I realized that if I even doubted it for a second before, there was no reason not to believe that I couldn't trust Nathan.
He was always saving me.
He was my guardian angel.
--
R&R
--Storyofmylifee