"Are you sure you're alright, Benjamin?" Allison fussed over his bedridden body.
"I'm fine, Ally. Now go have fun with your friends; I'll be okay for a couple of hours."
"Oh, Benny, you're a peach!" She planted a kiss to his forehead, eager for a day out.
Benny was the same. As soon as he was sure that Allison was out and about, he slipped out of bed, revealing that he was fully dressed. Lies and deceit were a part of his daily life now. For example, if Allison called when he was out, he'd later tell her that he spent the day on the bathroom floor.
He knew of a free clinic in the Lower East Side. Sure he wasn't quite welcome around these parts, but at least no one would tell Allison that he was there. He was especially grateful for this as he pulled his Range Rover to the curb.
There were posters about AIDS and Family Planning all over the windows and the light tinkle of a bell when he pushed open the door.
"How may I help you sir?" asked a kindly woman behind the desk. He looked around at the chaos in the waiting room, and decided that this must be the most patient woman in the world to keep such a stately manner.
"Yes, ma'am. You offer free testing?"
The door began to shut behind him and his words were being shut out from the rest of the world. Just as he wanted.
"I'd like to get tested for HIV, please."
0----0
"Hey, Roger, can I talk to you?"
Collins' question was simply for conversations sake, he was going to talk regardless. He stormed into the loft, having boomed his question while opening the door. Mark pointed at the rocker's door. He was giving off one of his 'void of emotion' vibes, but Collins didn't have time for that at the moment. He didn't bother knocking--he couldn't walk in and see anything he hadn't before, but instead barged in with as much of an air of seriousness as he could muster.
"I've got to talk to you, man."
Roger rolled his irritated eyes up from his guitar. "About what?"
"About Mimi. You were all over her about the drugs this morning."
"So?"
Collins sat on the foot of his bed. "I think that you're smothering her with a lack of trust."
Roger blinked. "Are you about to spurt your philosophical crap on me?"
"A bird will never learn to fly as long as it's kept safe in the nest."
"…I have no idea what that means."
"It means that as long as you keep Mimi in your sight like this she'll never have the chance to survive."
"Look, I know that you're trying to help, but I don't need it."
Collins stood up. "She's trying, Rog, she really is. Give her a little credit."
Collins walked out of the room and he would almost swear to it that he could hear a distraught voice utter, "I'm trying."
0----0
"I'm trying," Roger muttered. He wasn't sure if he wanted Collins to hear or not.
In all reality, he was trying. He was just terrified at the idea of a relationship, especially one with AIDS and a fondness for the needle. Considering his past love life, this was only to be expected, but his friend's didn't seem to see that. Maybe it was because he didn't want them to know his fears, that he wished that they would understand when they never could. They'd never understand that love was his biggest desire, that he was a hidden romantic. And his biggest fear was losing it—again.
He didn't want Mimi to die, which was quite the possibility. It was the curse of the disease—you never know when it will hit. A person with AIDS could die within a week, or live for many years. Your days were numbered but you never knew when to start counting down. Watching your friends drop like Elvis while you lived on, healthy and strong, ready to crawl into your own grave just to escape your seeming invincibility. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to watch them all die, that's why sometimes he'd 'forget' to take his AZT.
0----0
It wasn't quite the ideal situation. Maureen walking home alone in the dark, that is. Because we all know, of course, that cabs are for sissies. But as long as she kept her head, and pace, up, experience taught her that nine times out of ten she'd be fine.
The lights were on in their apartment and from the street she could see someone moving back and forth rather hastily. Maureen inhaled and exhaled a rather large gust of air. It would be good to tell Joanne, whose reaction would hopefully be nothing like Mark's, though hopefully it'd be calm. But calamity wasn't what she met when she entered the apartment.
"Joanne, what are you doing?"
The woman, with tears streaking down her face, stopped her packing of Maureen's things to look up, eyes afire with betrayal.
"I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago. I can't do this anymore. I can't do us anymore."
"Pookie, what are you talking about?"
"I'm not stupid, Maureen! You're having an affair with Mark!"
"What?"
"Don't play naïve, it isn't becoming on you."
Maureen's heart skipped a beat. She must have known about the pregnancy.
"But I'm not having an affair! I got pregnant while we were still dating!"
Maureen didn't realize that Joanne hadn't known until the look of shock registered on her face.
"You're pregnant?"
Maureen's glance once again shifted to her shoes. "But I'm not cheating. It's Mark's--from when we were dating."
Joanne sank into her chair. Maureen, having just signed over part of her heart, slipped into Joanne's lap and wrapped her arms around her lover's neck and, into all hours of the night, they just cried.
0FIN0
Special, wonderful, amazingly beautiful thanks go out to Ginger Glinda for being an amazing beta (and making me feel competent) because I'm kind of slow. So thank you! Even though I must have already said that a good twenty times.
Chapter six fairly soon, but I haven't typed it yet.
My (all female) friends are over and wanted to say hello. This can be ignored:
Chaos (Jimmy): Hello Ali's fans! Just leaving a note for good reading! Um… enjoy? (eats tacos)
Pepito: Bonjour. I think I'm the Anti Christ. I love tacos.
Kitty: I has a cupcake…yes I do, oh yes, yes I do!