Author's Note: Meh, I don't know if I like this chapter or if it even serves any purpose... -- Please give me any opinions or suggestions on it because I really don't know...

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Chapter Six: Onward

"What's your favorite season, Taka?" Tanya asked from her perch on the roof of the barn. We had been hit by a typhoon the night before, and it had damaged the building. She'd insisted on repairing the leak herself being that I was still hampered by my knee brace. Although I couldn't quite see it, she insisted the job was flawlessly finished. However, she had seemingly decided not to come down for the moment. She really can be such a child, I thought peacefully to myself.

"Hmm? Autumn, I guess," I answered with a shrug. "It's certainly the most comfortable."

"Me, too," she agreed with a chipper voice. "I like it because of all the good food! Then there's the leaves! The red ones are so striking it takes your breath away!"

"Fall's coming around the bend in the next couple of days," I told her with some genuine excitement of my own. No more blasted heat to keep me in a lethargic mindset. I could actually get some quality work done after a season filled with lazing about with Lilac in the pasture.

"Yeah... I'm gonna miss that star, though," she replied with a bit of reluctance. Her eyes gazed off into the distance across the sea, and a slight summer's breeze brushed her hair gently. She appeared unearthly beautiful in an instant. Dirt may have been her make-up, but it was a reminder for me that she was indeed real. No other woman had made me feel that way, I'm certain.

"Which one?" I asked trying to ignore the feelings that surfaced. I didn't want to think about those things right there when she might be able to see my thoughts working in my expression.

"That one, over the ocean. See it?" she pointed ahead of us. Of course it was the same brilliant red of autumn leaves, not to mention the most notable one, that she referred to. Dusk was only just approaching, yet there it was, defying the lazy sunset. Tanya was utterly enthralled, her eyes wide with admiration and wonder. I, too, felt rather spectacular as I gazed into the sky. When was the last time I looked into the night sky? Was it last when I fell in love? Far too long ago...

"Hey, about the other night..." she began bashfully, glancing away.

"Don't worry about it none," I assured her with a laugh. "It was fun seeing you over do it for once."

"I sort of deserved it after hitting you up for so many meals," she admitted. Even she had to smile at that idea.

"Speaking of which, you can't cook very well, can you?" I asked innocently. Whenever she was hungry, she came straight to me, and if I wasn't home, I had overheard Ruby comment on how often she came to visit her for something to nibble on. She rarely was even home long enough to start up a simple salad or something... In any case, it was noticeable enough to me to worry. Had I known she couldn't cook, I would've gladly made her meals

She blushed and turned away from me more with a little, "Humph." She could be so stubborn at times, yet it was a part of her charm. After all, Tanya was the eternal child in many ways though she did enjoy the pleasures of being an adult (perhaps to excess). I suppose I was right to confuse her as a young girl and a woman, for she acted in both roles with the same honesty. It didn't make my affections any easier to understand, however.

"That's all right," I attempted to comfort her. "I don't expect every woman to be able to cook, so I doubt anyone else would complain, either."

"Mum used to get upset with me because I couldn't even handle soup from a can," she confessed shyly. "She said that I'd never find a husband if I didn't know my way around the kitchen, so I guess I get nervous about that from time to time." Why let her hurt you? I thought sadly. Don't you see how valuable you are? Her mother seemed to overwhelm all of her thoughts when it came to her weaknesses. What mother would exploit such tender subjects in her daughter? Whatever Alexandra's reasons, I wouldn't allow her child to believe she was anything less than perfect for herself. I certainly couldn't let her think otherwise.

"Any luck on that husband search of yours?" I pressed uncertainly, hoping to raise her spirits. "I know I brought it up to you earlier that your dad was hoping to make the farm into a family thing, but I wondered if you gave it any serious thought."

"I have thought on it," she mumbled quietly, "but all the single guys here are either not worth my time, have someone they're after, or not interested."

"None are too old for you?" I passed off out of both personal and overall curiosity. Her violet eyes centered on me for a time, yet she sort of let the question hang between us. It wasn't anger or disgust that lingered beneath the surface, but I was unnerved by her intensity. She didn't seem the type to think much on age, appearance, or anything of that nature. From listening to her talk about the men of the valley, I understood she admired intelligence and will over brute strength and elegant charm.

"I guess that doesn't matter, does it? My parents were so young when they got married, but I'm older now than they were then. It depends on who the person was, I suppose," she said at last, still studying me.

"Yeah. I wouldn't advise anyone to get married as young as they were. Fifteen and eighteen year olds aren't always ready to make a commitment, especially to someone else equally inexperienced."

"They didn't have much of a choice. I truly believe Dad loved Mum because I know I wouldn't be here, otherwise," she explained. "He could've ran off to someplace where no one knew who either he or Mum was, but he decided to marry her. She was socially tainted anyway, but he did his best to make things right."

"Yes, he certainly did..." These were things I never thought I'd have to discuss with her, the daughter of circumstances beyond her control. I had to ask myself how much her mother told her about her own conception. Did Alexandra blame Aaron, the young man who ended her performing career by sweeping her off her feet and into his bed? Was that the only thing Tanya had known before her father's death and coming here?

"Mum told me you were the only witness for the wedding ceremony."

"She did?" That surprised me. Though the statement was true, I was amazed that Alexandra would comment on that fact. From what I could tell, she barely knew I existed. In her defense, I never really showed myself to her before Aaron stole her heart, but when they had been told the wedding wouldn't be final without a proper witness, I vouched not for her but for Aaron. He saved me, so I would try my best to repay him. I did it even if it meant facing her again, only in another's corner of the ring.

"Uh-huh. I was shocked, too, because I had never heard your name before. She didn't talk about Dad, but she brought up you occasionally though she never said why."

"What'd she say about me?" Now she'd peaked my interest.

"Oh, they were all good things if I remember right. She felt bad for you growing up because you always were on the outs. After all, you did help her once. You were the one to warn her about sleeping around with Dad."

"That's right, but... I can't say it was out of anything other than jealousy at the time..." Yes, I had done it out of pure envy because he was having what I wanted for so long. Now it was nothing but a petty fantasy... Perhaps that's all it had been...

"I'm telling you, Alexandra, that you're going to ruin everything..." I pleaded trying to convince my love to reconsider her actions. We both knew fully well what had been going on between her and Aaron. She didn't hide it from anyone although their ages were the major scorn of the whole affair.

"Takakura, I'm an adult. I can handle my own affairs, thank you," she replied with a dignified huff as she pulled her hair into a bun. Her dressing room was little more than a prop shop, but she'd dressed her broken vanity with ribbons, bows, flowers, and letters. It was an alter to her desperation to be famous outside of this hell on earth.

"But, he's no good for you! I'm the one who's going to save you from this dump!"

"How?" she demanded. "Are you going to be a boxer, Mr. Man? I'd be a babysitter for a kid like you. What I need is a real man!"

"A man?! Aaron's only fifteen!" I bellowed, my voice cracking.

"He's more a man than you'll ever be!" she spat back. She hurled a hand mirror at my feet, and it shattered into countless fragments. Her face, twisted in fury, broken across the remains. "You street urchin!"

In those days, it was an affront to call someone that. I had never felt so wounded in my life until that point, yet I couldn't blame that woman. Compared to her, I was a street urchin in my shabby clothes reeking of the dock. A measly dock worker was nothing compared to a skilled mechanic which Aaron happened to be. That's why it was so easy to blame him for my troubles, and it was then that all my hate fell on him. Of course, my hate didn't last for longer than a month or so... How could it being that he was such a tender hearted man?

"Still, things never work out like we plan. I think her world really ended when I was born, and maybe that's why she despises me..." The girl sighed with drifting sadness, "I wanted to make her happy. I really did... though I don't think I could've done anything for her. She was too broken by the time I understood how much pain she was in because of my father and me. There's no other hurt worse than having your dreams crushed by one person..."

"You can't blame yourself for something like that," I reminded her quickly. "If you ask me, you're a great kid."

"I should say I'm not a kid anymore, but thanks," she laughed softly.

"Where's that cackle of yours gone?" I teased.

Tanya smiled and shared, "I worked hard on that laugh, you know."

"How do you work on a laugh?"

"I figured if I couldn't get her to like me, I'd get her to hate me something awful."

"Did it work?"

She leaned back onto the roof while Lilac looked curiously up at her barn, unsure of where her caretaker had disappeared. The mischievous sparkle lit in her eye, and I felt the joy rise in her cheeks. Her lips were spread in a wide smile as she answered, "I'm here, aren't I?"

--

Just as I had promised, autumn breezed into the valley. I rarely saw Tanya during the first week as she busied herself with all the farm work. I was too frantic with shipments of vegetables to give her any help which caused me to feel rather useless. She was sturdy enough not to complain, but I still worried for her. It had been about this time that Aaron began to crumble under the strain of both his body and his spirit.

He had never liked fall. It was the only time of year when he seemed absolutely miserable without having to frown. There are those who find the changing of the leaves to be a master piece, and then there are others who only see it as a symbol of things coming to an end. The latter, of course, is how he saw the season. He rarely talked about his dislike of that time of year, but he didn't have to say it for me to know.

As time went on and seasons passed, I was beginning to see the differences between father and daughter. She had warmth, and it lasted through any circumstance and extended to any individual. He may have behaved like a warm person, but there were times when one could see his coldness. Aaron was kind to everyone, yet he didn't seem to believe anyone was all that special. Of course, he never treated me in any disagreeable fashion. However, I was different than most people, too.

"Takakura, might I have a word with you?" a familiar, rickety voice demanded.

Turning round, I saw Galen stooped over behind me. His eyes were heavy, but he didn't seem any more displeased than usual. Both of us looked rather gruff, but neither one of us were angry or unhappy men. Therefore, I was a little startled by the firmness of his voice. He peered up at me over his long nose and forced a small smile.

"Sorry to bother you while you're working, but may I offer some advice?" he asked losing himself in the flow of the river.

"Of course," I replied respectively. "What's on your mind?"

"No," he relented, "this will never do. How about you join me for a drink this evening at the Blue Bar? Yes, that would serve better."

"I'll be there tonight then," I agreed with a perplexed air about me. A person doesn't normally get invited to share a drink by a gentleman like him. I knew he went to the bar with Dr. Hardy from time to time, but I hadn't spoken to the man while he was there. This would either serve to be a good experience or a bad memory. After the talking to I'd received from the physician, I wasn't too keen on another lecture. I also felt I didn't have much of a choice. I had been summoned. I could only nod and follow his instructions.

"Good man."

With that brief exchange of words, he tottered off after Nina who was undoubtably smiling kindly. I pondered how I could've ever thought of myself as an old man for so long until recently. I certainly wasn't young, but I definitely wasn't elderly. Still, I could image myself as Galen in a few decades, and given how he managed so well with his beloved wife, should I find a woman, I would be well off.

--

Evening came rather quickly as did the chill of an autumn night. I pulled on my jacket before stepping out into the cold brisk air at the end of the day. There was some trepidation concerning the topic inevitably at hand, but I had agreed to the meeting. I was planning on staying sober for this one, anyway. Lately drinking without Tanya wasn't as enjoyable, so unless she brought me along with her, I didn't wander that way. Maybe it was for the best.

Once I arrived at the Blue Bar, I saw Galen wasn't the only one attending this little meeting. Dr. Hardy was sitting with him, and the two were drinking in silence. Gustafa and Nami were present as well, but they were more concerned with one another than the two old men in the corner and a middle-aged man at the door. Muffy was leaning across the counter chatting with Rock, who I wasn't all that thrilled to see in all honesty. No one seemed to observe my solo entrance which meant I could relax some. Nothing worse than showing up without a date only to have everyone notice.

"Welcome," Galen greeted me. "You're a tad late, but I suppose I never set a time. I tend to forget such details from now and again."

"I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you in any way," I apologized as I sat down wearily. I was beginning to feel old again with these aged faces challenging me.

"As Galen said, it was a fault on our part," remarked his companion. "Would you like a drink? It'll be on us."

"No thanks," I answered dryly.

"You only drink when she's here?" the slouching character asked patiently.

"We noticed you're not trying to hide it from us," agreed the doctor.

"Dr. Hardy, I really don't feel I have to pretend not to prefer her company to being alone."

"True, true. It was merely an observation on my part. Galen's the one who wishes to speak with you tonight since I've shared my bit." He offered his friend with a smile, "Your turn to talk sense into this man."

"Thank you, Dr. Hardy. Takakura..." He began, nearly lost in thought. "Takakura..."

"Yes?"

"I know the doctor has told you to ask yourself whether you have the right to love such a young woman. Am I correct?"

"Yes, Galen, that is what we discussed after my injury." The nagging pull at my heart was becoming troublesome. I didn't feel comfortable in this conversation... if one could call it that. It was more likened to being an interrogation by two elderly Mafia bosses.

Sensing my discomfort, the oldest man smiled. "You don't have to worry. I'm not going to lecture you like a small child. You're certainly man enough to set your own path. Allow me to say this in a better manner, perhaps be slightly frank. I'm not upset in the least with your decision to stay with that girl."

Both Dr. Hardy and I gazed at him in bewilderment. "You're not?" I asked cautiously at last.

"No, I find your attraction to her to be quite admirable really."

"I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth, Galen, but why on earth would you say that?"

"Yes, I'd like to know how you can support this foolishness as well," demanded an irritable doctor, rested his head in his hand as he glared at his once loyal companion.

"Takakura, when I look into your eyes as you lose yourself in hers, I know what you're doing is right. You don't have the appearance or nature of a wolf after a little lamb. That love that dwells in you is both that of fatherly devotion and emotional connection. Such a love cannot be wrong in its direction. That is why I wanted you to know that I support your pursuit of her."

After closing his argument, Galen said nothing more. He merely sat calmly smoking his pipe as Dr. Hardy muttered and grumbled throughout the night. I found I could only sit there in a daze unclouded by anything outside of the dull sound of my throbbing heart. I hadn't needed his encouragement. I didn't need someone to back me. However, I had wanted some acceptance. I longed for people to see what it was all about, even if I hadn't been sure myself. He had sat in the outfield looking reviewing the plays, reading the stats, and now he could offer his coaching. He knew as I know now that I truly loved her. He didn't have to question it any further, and now I wouldn't have to either.

I wasn't some skirt chaser on the hunt. I was a middle-aged man who happened to fall in love with a young woman. She and I had nothing to gain in profits or status by caring for one another, nor did I plan on being the center of the valley's scandal or town gossip. If anything, I wanted there to be no talk of it at all. I merely wanted people to accept my feelings as something of my own. They didn't need to interfere in my personal feelings, and I would chose who I let in on the details.

There was only one person I wished I could ask for approval...

Old friend, I hope that's your blessing, but since I'll never know for sure, I'll have to press on without it. I prayed earnestly. Just grant me whatever strength of spirit you have left. I won't let my life be wasted...

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Author's Final Note: Yes, Tanya is a bastard child, and her parents were unconventional if anything. Still, I like playing with ages although I'm starting too think I should've made Takakura a little older than 33. A bit late for that, though...